A Ranma 1/2 Play: Take Two

By: AnubisFearie

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Jenni: Okay, you guys! This time I've got help. This is my friend, Katie. Say hi!

Katie: Waves and gives Ryoga google eyes Hiiiii! ^-^

Cast: Waves; Ryoga looks confused

Jenni: Now, this time you all get to play yourselves, okay? Will that make you happy?

Ranma: Actually, I'd be happier in pirahna infested waters wrapped in meatloaf.

Akane: *WHAM* Hits Ranma on head with mallet That's not very nice!

Katie: Now, I trust you all read the scripts...?

Cast: Yeah....

Jenni: Good! Now, Ranma and Akane, take your places!

Katie: We're on in three... two...

::Curtain rises::

Akane: *aHEM* Come on Ranma, we'll be late for school!

::Long silent pause::

Akane: Ranma...?

Katie: Where the hell is Ranma?

Jenni: Taps Ranma's shoulder

Ranma: Stops eating buffet Yeah?

Jenni: You're on!!!

Ranma: Oh! Dashes onto stage, trips and falls on top of Akane

Akane: Ranma, you idiot! Get off me!

Ryoga: Runs onto stage and kicks Ranma into wall You fiend! How dare you do that to Akane?!

Ranma: Sits up Do what? I just fell, you jackass!

Shampoo: Runs up to Ryoga and whacks him How dares you do to Shampoo husband?!

Ukyo: Runs onto stage Excuse me! Ranma is MINE you damn bath product!

Shampoo: No, is MINE!

Jenni: The script! The script! Stick to the script!

Katie: Maybe we should've made Ryoga wear a thong.

Jenni: Oooo and Ranma, too!

Katie: I should've been the costume designer!

Ranma: Watches fight, taps Akane's shoulder

Akane: What do you want?!

Ranma: Can we just go home?

Akane: Sighs I don't think so...

Happosai: Hello, ladies! Rubs on Shampoo's chest

Shampoo: EEEIIIIII!!!!!

Mousse: Punches Happosai You dare to treat my beloved Shampoo that way?!

Shampoo: What you talking, stupid Mousse? Shampoo no belong you. Belong only Ranma!

Ukyo: Hey, shut up! Ranma Honey loves me!

Shampoo: No, loves me!

Ukyo: No, me!

Shampoo: No, me!

Jenni: Runs onto stage No, me! Hiccups and rubs on Ranma

Ranma: Uhhhhh... are you drunk?

Jenni: Purple monkey dishwasher?

Katie: Stumbles up to Ryoga and hiccups I love you, P-Chan. Hugs his legs

Ryoga: Who're you calling P-Chan?!

Akane: I think she's drunk, too....

Happosai: This play stinks. Where are the naked women? Where are the panties?

Jenni: Hiccups Duh... I'm wearing 'em Hic silly neener-head.

Katie: Nu-uh! Ryoga, Jenni said I was a hic happy poo! Beat... hic her up!

Ryoga: ...........

Ranma: Watches as Jenni climbs onto his shoulders Uhhhhhhmm.....

Ukyo: Hey! How dare you touch my Ranma!

Jenni: Hic Geeheehee.......

Katie: What's this little tassle hic thingy do? Pulls cord; curtains close

Jenni: WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! The monkeys! They steal my underwear at night! Hic

Mousse: Adjusts glasses No, that would probably be Happosai.

Katie: Dum dee dee. Ryoga, will you marry me....? Hic

Ryoga: Blushes as she rubs on him N-n-n-n-nooo......

Jenni: Ranma, marry me or I'll hic uhhhhh..... heehee Passes out

Akane: .........................

Ranma: She's drooling on my shirt.......