Author's notes: I couldn't pass on writing a sort of epilogue to this
series do here's th final chapter. These are Hiei's thoughts after
Kurama's death
disclaimers: I don't own YYH (though I'd steal Hiei and Kurama if I could ^^)
Enjoy!
Duels: part 3
I love you. It took me so long to say these words, these words that you have said to me, said them twice.
Is it why you gave up? No, don't answer. Don't tell me that it's my fault, don't tell me that I could have done something because…well, because I know I could have. I feel guilty enough as it is, don't make it worse.
I came here looking for you. I knew when that bastard made his deal with me that there was a pitfall.
What did he do to you? Nothing, your mind told me. He did nothing to you, you did it all to yourself and it's even worse. What happened to make you wish to die so badly?
I wish I came earlier, before you decided to die. Yes, you see: I know that you didn't die of despair or loneliness or any sappy reason. You died because you decided it was the best solution and I came too late to change your mind. They say that I'm stubborn but then, you're at least as stubborn as me if not more so.
I told you that I loved you, it took all my courage to do it. And I hate you. I hate you for making me feel, for breaking my barriers. I was afraid of your rejection but what I got was even worse: I got you eternal gratitude and love…but I also got your death.
I killed you didn't I? There was some sort of problem with the ward Yomi put on me…and he probably knew it too. I don't regret it. I regret that you died but not what I did. There was no way for me to stop your death, why not make it painless if I could?
I love you. Why is it so easy for me to say it now? I still hold your body, you know? I won't leave it here either for that bastard to keep. I'm taking it with me when I leave this hole and I'm leaving soon. I don't intend to stay here more than I have too.
I lost my duel against Yomi, there is no way I could have won. But I know that, if I train enough, I'll be able to kill him at the next Makai Tournament. I do intend to take my revenge, I'll dedicate my victory to you.
I love you. And I hate you for dying. I can't promise you forever but I do hope we'll meet again. Maybe we'll be put in the same Hell. I'm not stupid, I know that you're like me: you've done enough in your life to end up in one of the Hells for a long time. If I don't do anything worse than what I've already done, I might go to the same Hell as you. I don't know if we'll meet in another life; I don't know if Enma will let me reincarnate.
You'll always be my first love but, although I'm not sure if I will love again, I'm not going to die. It will be an insult to you if I did. I refuse to insult the life you gave me by dying, not for a long time. Because you did: you gave me life. It is because of you that the walls and chains around my heart have vanished. It is because of you that I learned what love is. It's because of you that I have to face my new life alone.
I'm not bitter. Not towards you at least. I'm bitter towards life in general and that bastard Yomi in particular. But not at you. I love you and I hate you but I'm not bitter. I'll stop hating you one day, that I promise. And when I do, I'll be able to remember only the beautiful gifts you gave me: the love and friendship that only you ever thought about giving me.
I'm getting out of here now: I just heard the guard leave. The first thing I'll do once I'm out there is to burry you properly. I know that, even though my wards prevented me from seeing it, somebody already took you away. If it was Botan then she was probably crying. Not that I really care.
I think I know where to burry you. There's this quiet place in south of Yusuke's lands. I used to go there when I needed to hide. I'll tell Yusuke and the oaf where you are buried, of course, they deserve to know. But no one else. No prize hunting youkai will steal your body and expose it as if it were a trophy.
Then I'll go back to Mukuro to train and after I get our revenge I'll go some place quiet to do some thinking. I'll need time to get used to this new life so you'll excuse me if, until after I kill Yomi, I'll still be living my old life. Afterwards I'll have all the time to live and cherish your last gift.
So rest in peace Kurama my friend, my love, I'll never forget you. Never.
~owari~ (the real one)
disclaimers: I don't own YYH (though I'd steal Hiei and Kurama if I could ^^)
disclaimers: I don't own YYH (though I'd steal Hiei and Kurama if I could ^^)
Enjoy!
Duels: part 3
I love you. It took me so long to say these words, these words that you have said to me, said them twice.
Is it why you gave up? No, don't answer. Don't tell me that it's my fault, don't tell me that I could have done something because…well, because I know I could have. I feel guilty enough as it is, don't make it worse.
I came here looking for you. I knew when that bastard made his deal with me that there was a pitfall.
What did he do to you? Nothing, your mind told me. He did nothing to you, you did it all to yourself and it's even worse. What happened to make you wish to die so badly?
I wish I came earlier, before you decided to die. Yes, you see: I know that you didn't die of despair or loneliness or any sappy reason. You died because you decided it was the best solution and I came too late to change your mind. They say that I'm stubborn but then, you're at least as stubborn as me if not more so.
I told you that I loved you, it took all my courage to do it. And I hate you. I hate you for making me feel, for breaking my barriers. I was afraid of your rejection but what I got was even worse: I got you eternal gratitude and love…but I also got your death.
I killed you didn't I? There was some sort of problem with the ward Yomi put on me…and he probably knew it too. I don't regret it. I regret that you died but not what I did. There was no way for me to stop your death, why not make it painless if I could?
I love you. Why is it so easy for me to say it now? I still hold your body, you know? I won't leave it here either for that bastard to keep. I'm taking it with me when I leave this hole and I'm leaving soon. I don't intend to stay here more than I have too.
I lost my duel against Yomi, there is no way I could have won. But I know that, if I train enough, I'll be able to kill him at the next Makai Tournament. I do intend to take my revenge, I'll dedicate my victory to you.
I love you. And I hate you for dying. I can't promise you forever but I do hope we'll meet again. Maybe we'll be put in the same Hell. I'm not stupid, I know that you're like me: you've done enough in your life to end up in one of the Hells for a long time. If I don't do anything worse than what I've already done, I might go to the same Hell as you. I don't know if we'll meet in another life; I don't know if Enma will let me reincarnate.
You'll always be my first love but, although I'm not sure if I will love again, I'm not going to die. It will be an insult to you if I did. I refuse to insult the life you gave me by dying, not for a long time. Because you did: you gave me life. It is because of you that the walls and chains around my heart have vanished. It is because of you that I learned what love is. It's because of you that I have to face my new life alone.
I'm not bitter. Not towards you at least. I'm bitter towards life in general and that bastard Yomi in particular. But not at you. I love you and I hate you but I'm not bitter. I'll stop hating you one day, that I promise. And when I do, I'll be able to remember only the beautiful gifts you gave me: the love and friendship that only you ever thought about giving me.
I'm getting out of here now: I just heard the guard leave. The first thing I'll do once I'm out there is to burry you properly. I know that, even though my wards prevented me from seeing it, somebody already took you away. If it was Botan then she was probably crying. Not that I really care.
I think I know where to burry you. There's this quiet place in south of Yusuke's lands. I used to go there when I needed to hide. I'll tell Yusuke and the oaf where you are buried, of course, they deserve to know. But no one else. No prize hunting youkai will steal your body and expose it as if it were a trophy.
Then I'll go back to Mukuro to train and after I get our revenge I'll go some place quiet to do some thinking. I'll need time to get used to this new life so you'll excuse me if, until after I kill Yomi, I'll still be living my old life. Afterwards I'll have all the time to live and cherish your last gift.
So rest in peace Kurama my friend, my love, I'll never forget you. Never.
~owari~ (the real one)
disclaimers: I don't own YYH (though I'd steal Hiei and Kurama if I could ^^)
