Close Encounters of the Ranma Kind
by Angela

CHAPTER TWO: Sweet-O! To Lose is to Win!

Part One: "I Put My Life in Your Hands"

The next day, Ranma woke with a smile. He felt really good. He wasn't sure just what it was that he'd been dreaming of, but it must've been pretty nice. Stretching and yawning, he wandered to the table where Nadoka was serving breakfast.

"Wow, you're here early today," he commented, dropping a kiss on her cheek before sitting down. "What's the occasion?"

Nadoka blushed slightly and looked at Genma, who had already begun eating. "No occasion. I just wanted to see my family." She tousled his hair good-naturedly and handed him his breakfast.

Akane walked into the room and Ranma froze--a bite of food in mid-air next to his mouth. Suddenly he remembered his dream that night, except that it hadn't been a dream! He felt his face burn as he dropped his gaze to the food on his plate.

When she sat down next to him, Ranma chanced a peek at her from the corner of his eye. She too was watching the table as Nodoka placed the food before her. Together they looked awfully guilty. Ranma was sure that everyone would guess what had happened, and he scrambled in his head for something to come back with when confronted. When nothing came to mind, he tried rational thought. Of course no one would know! The door was shut and they'd been quiet . . .

"So Akane, what were you and Ranma doing so quietly with your door shut last night?" Leave it to Nabiki! She smirked and took a swallow of her tea.

All eyes turned to Akane and Ranma, who were still making a point not to look at one another. Akane was flustered; Ranma could tell without even having to see her.

"Well, uh," she was obviously at a loss for words--a rare thing for Akane. "What were you doing with Kuno until after dinner?" she countered angrily.

"Oh dear, she dodged the question," Kasumi observed, shaking her head. "That's never a good sign."

"It's a great sign!" Soun leaped from his place at breakfast. He looked absolutely ecstatic. "Come on, Ranma my boy, tell your parents all about it!"

"Oh yes, Ranma," a voice chimed in from the doorway. "I'm sure we'd all like to hear what's behind this one." Ryoga. Ranma sighed; he'd known the guy was bound to show up sooner or later.

As usual, he carried his belongings in a backpack, which now rested by his feet. His umbrella, which served the dual purpose of both rain gear and weaponry, rested atop the pack rather than in his hands, as was usually the case. In its place, Ryoga carried a large walking stick. Ranma looked at the stick with surprise--Ryoga never carried anything like it. It seemed to be a particularly fine walking stick at that.

Ranma shook his head. What was he doing, admiring some dumb stick at a time like this? He had a bone to pick with Ryoga! "As if you didn't know," he growled, standing to face him. "I suppose you were there the whole time, huh?"

"Ranma!" Akane grabbed his arm, trying to pull him away from Ryoga. "What are you talking about? Just because you insist on calling P-chan by his name doesn't mean that they're really the same!" She knocked him in the head. "Ryoga was not, nor has he ever been, in my room!"

Ranma ignored her hit--it'd been one of her lighter blows--and shrugged her from his arm. She didn't know it, but he had to do this for her as well as himself. Balling his hands into fists, he faced Ryoga. "Come on, P-chan, why don'chya just admit it? Where were you last night?"

Ryoga snarled.

"Ranma!" Akane cried. She would've said more, but Ryoga held up a hand.

"Don't bother, Akane. You know how he is when he gets into a rage. If he wants to fight, then I have no choice." Ryoga held his stick in a defensive position before him. "Okay, Ranma, do your worst."

"Couldn't you do this outside?" Soun shifted his food to a spot farther down the table and stood up. "Really Ranma, it's breakfast."

As if he hadn't even heard, Ranma jumped at Ryoga, knocking him into the wall. He stumbled, but blocked the blow with ease. Akane had moved across the room to stand with her family, but she hadn't stopped protesting. Ranma had no intention of listening to her, but was glad she'd gotten out of the way. Fighting Ryoga was pretty tough, and he wanted Akane to be as far away as possible in case things got ugly.

"Ranma! Ryoga!" Akane's voice was suddenly more threatening; she held a bucket of water over her head. Both guys froze, and Ranma got a good look at their positions. He was posed for a low kick--he would've knocked Ryoga's legs out from beneath him if Akane hadn't stopped them. Ryoga, for his part, seemed about to bring his stick crashing down on Ranma's skull. That would've hurt. He turned his attention back to Akane.

"Both of you stop it or I'll be forced to stop you with this water. You wouldn't want to have to fight Mousse as a girl, would you, Ranma?" She looked like she'd do it, too.

Ranma didn't feel like doing anything as a girl.

"Sweet-O! I would listen to her, boys." A creaky old voice came from out of nowhere and Ranma looked hurriedly about the room.

"Where are ya, you old Freak?" he asked suspiciously. He wished the master could announce himself like normal guests.

Happosai stepped from the kitchen, a muffin in his hands. "Unless I'm wrong," he began with a bite, "that stick you've got there is a very powerful weapon used by the Amazons a thousand years ago." He came closer, inspecting the stick, which Ryoga graciously lowered for him. "What I wouldn't do to be the owner of such a fine piece of weaponry!"

"So you're sayin' this ain't no ordinary stick?" Ranma was skeptical. "If that's so, how'd Ryoga get ahold of it? Them Amazons aren't so easy to deal with."

It was Genma who stepped forward with an answer. "The fabled Staff of Heaven. It was lost in a raid years ago, never to be recovered." He looked at Ryoga intently. "Where did you come across such a thing?"

Ryoga cleared his throat. He was looking at his walking stick with new curiosity. "I bought it. In China. Before we came back I found it in an antique shop. I had no idea . . ." He looked down at Happosai. "How does it work?"

The entire family stepped closer for this, and Akane set down her bucket. She stood between Ranma and Ryoga as the old man began to explain.

"It works with life force--chi. The stronger the chi, the more powerful this staff will become. It takes years of training to do so, but to use the stick; you must focus all of your energy into it. Then, with a single blow, you destroy an enemy by releasing your chi straight into them." Happosai took another bite of his food and glanced at his rapt audience, apparently enjoying the attention. "It's at least twice as powerful as the chi blasts you're currently using," he began, looking to Ranma and Ryoga, "because the staff focuses and strengthens the energy."

Ranma was in awe. He didn't normally use weapons when he fought, but this was certainly worthy of some attention. He wasn't surprised, however, when Ryoga asked the question that had just popped into his own mind. "But until I learn to focus, it's just a plain stick, right?"

"Yes, except in extreme cases. There are moments during life when a person completely loses control. This can happen during a fight when a kind of blind rage takes over. If you should use the staff during such a moment, the results could be deadly. Just as it relies on tight control and focus to work, in the opposite extreme you could just as easily surrender your chi to the staff."
Wow. That stick sure was something. They all stood around, gawking at what could very possibly be the most powerful weapon they'd ever see in their lives. Ranma wondered if such a tool was safe in Ryoga's hands. He had been known to lose his cool on more than one occasion. Right now he was staring at it as though it were the most beautiful thing he'd ever laid eyes on. Ranma wondered what he was thinking of doing with it.

"Oh my," Kasumi murmured.

"No kidding," joined Nabiki. "One more moment and it could've been 'bye-bye Ranma."

Ranma hadn't even thought of that. He didn't think that Ryoga had been too close to rage just then, but when it did happen, there was a good chance he would be the object.

"I'm not so sure Ryoga's the best person for this kind of weapon." Ranma felt, rather than saw, Ryoga's glare. "I mean, he's never been able to control his feelings. He's almost sure to kill someone!"

"And that someone'll probably be you, Ranma-honey." Ranma hadn't noticed Ukyo come in.

"Doesn't anyone knock?!" Apparently Akane hadn't noticed either.

"With this stick, I'll be unbeatable!" Ryoga's eyes had taken a glassy look. He looked at Akane and then at Ranma. Ranma's eyes narrowed. There was no way he'd let Ryoga beat him, especially not for Akane. It was a good thing he'd have to learn how to use it first--that'd give him plenty of time to take it from him.

Kasumi was offering Ukyo some breakfast, which she politely refused. "Actually, I'm here for Ranma-honey. Konatsu is in bed sick and I need someone to help me out at Ucchan's." She looked at Ranma, a half-smile on her lips. "Can you come, Ranma?"

"No." Everyone turned and looked at Akane, who had her arms crossed over her chest.

Nabiki smiled wickedly. Ranma could almost see her mind fast at work. "Why not? You'll be shopping all morning, so it's not as if you could keep him for yourself." She made her voice sound innocent, "Or did that scene in your room last night change your plans?"

"What scene?" Ukyo's voice only deepened Ranma's blush. "What happened, Ran-chan?"

"Nothing happened!" Ranma was glad that Akane wasn't holding Ryoga's staff, or someone would have been seriously hurt. She calmed her voice down as she continued. "What I meant is that Ranma is fighting Mousse today."

"Mousse?" Ukyo sounded startled.

"But why?" It seemed even Kasumi needed to be in his business. Ranma sighed.

Soun gave him a stern look. "I certainly hope that this has nothing to do with that Shampoo."

Genma agreed with a forceful nod.

Ranma decided to ignore them all. "Sorry Ucchan, she's right. Maybe Ryoga could help you?" It seemed the best way to keep him occupied for the afternoon.
Ukyo didn't even try to mask her disappointment, but she looked to Ryoga anyway. "Whad'ya think, sugar?"

"Forget it!" He looked at Ukyo like she had leprosy. "The last thing I need to do today is hang around serving okonomiyaki for an unappreciative--" He broke off, nervously looking at Akane. Ranma knew it wasn't like him to say so much in front of her. "I've got things to do," he finished lamely.

"Akane, tell him to go." He didn't like resorting to such tactics, but he needed to be sure that Ryoga wasn't planning on ambushing him with that stick of his. Besides, Ukyo wouldn't have come if she hadn't really needed help.
Akane looked confused, but did as bidden. "Go on, Ryoga. It could be fun," she said hesitantly. Ukyo cast her an irritated glare.

Ryoga looked at Akane for a long moment, his feelings unreadable. He then turned to Ukyo. "All right, I'll help."

Ukyo apparently knew when to cut her losses. "Great! We'd better hurry--the restaurant opens soon." She grabbed Ryoga's wrist and pulled him toward the door. "See ya, Ranma-honey!" she called over her shoulder, extracting a huff from Akane.

Without another word to anyone, Ranma sat down and finished off his cold breakfast. He was going to need stamina for his battle with Mousse.


Part Two: "Ryoga's Great Revenge"
Ranma decided to stop in at Ucchan's before his fight. Akane had left to go shopping with friends and Ranma didn't want to stick around at the Tendos' with Happosai lurking about. The last thing he needed was to have to chase the old Freak around town when he should be conserving energy. Not only was Ukyo's food the best, but the conversation wasn't half-bad either. He wondered what he was going to do about Ukyo. Her engagement to him was just as legitimate as Akane's, and he knew it meant a lot to her--she had spent ten years finding him!
He had denied any feelings for Akane for a long time now, but lately he found it harder and harder to do. The kiss they had shared the night before only made it more obvious that it was time to do something about it. He wanted to let Ukyo down gently, but he wasn't sure she'd allow it. The girl was even more stubborn than Akane when she wanted to be!

The door to the restaurant was open, the bright red banner swayed in the breeze. It was a warm day, and the smell of the okonomiyaki probably brought customers in droves. Ranma paused by the door when he heard an excited voice within.

"Just think, Ukyo, with this staff I can't be beaten! Even Ranma Saotome can't keep me from Akane now!" Ryoga sounded happier than Ranma had ever heard him, but Ranma didn't like it. So he was planning on challenging him for Akane? It wasn't a surprise, but it bugged him just the same.

"Ryoga-sugar," Ukyo interjected, a little excited herself. "Wouldn't that mean that you'd have to kill Ranma? What about our agreement?" She paused, and Ranma guessed she was summing up Ryoga's reaction. "What about Akari? Is Akane the only person who means anything to you?"

"What do you know?" Ryoga was obviously feeling petulant. "The only way I can make Akane love me is to get Ranma out of the way first. You have no idea of the torment it is to see them together! Just yesterday he took cruel advantage, kissing her in her room." Ranma was surprised. He hadn't thought Ryoga would tell anyone.

"That hussy!" Ukyo sounded cold and angry. "I could never understand why you want her so much! She's obviously just as calculating as her sister." Ranma could hear water splashing into a metal bucket--she always cleaned when she was mad. "You'd be better off with Akari, sugar. At least she cares about you. For now, forget about Ranma and go clean the sign. Here, catch!"

Ranma could imagine the bucket soaring across the restaurant in a high arc. He'd been in Ryoga's position before, but was sure that Ryoga's fear was more than Ranma had ever faced. He had hidden his secret well; too bad it was nearly ended.

Splash!

"Bweeee!"

"What the. . .?" Ukyo's voice was both puzzled and amazed. "Ryoga, is that you?"

Ranma almost laughed as he heard the pig's squealing answer. Served him right for plotting against him! He wondered if Ukyo would tell Akane. That'd be even funnier.

"Oh my God! Ryoga! You've been to Jusenkyo, haven't you? The curse! Does Ranma-honey know?" Ukyo wasn't laughing, and Ranma wondered why. He thought she'd get a big kick out of this. Maybe she was holding it in for Ryoga's sake. Her voice did sound kind of strange. "You're Akane's little P-chan!"

Ranma decided that he needed to see this. He peeked through the doorway and suddenly it didn't seem so funny. Ryoga was on the floor, crying his little pig eyes out--that was nothing new. It was Ukyo that startled him. She was kneeling beside him, stroking between his black ears. She murmured comfort to him, and it looked like she was close to crying.

"Oh sugar." Ranma could barely hear her now. "It's no wonder you hate Ranma so much, and why you're so shy around Akane. To think, all this time I thought you were some kind of idiot." She picked him up and hugged him tightly. "I'm so sorry, kiddo; it must've been awful for you."

Ranma was shocked. He wouldn't have been able to speak if he'd wanted to. Ukyo hadn't been that sympathetic about his curse! She'd laughed and tormented him for weeks! He watched as Ryoga nuzzled closer. Of course, he hadn't cried like that, either. That must be it. Ukyo must have some weakness for crying livestock.

Inside, Ukyo got up and put some water on to boil, not letting go of the pig. Suddenly she reminded him of Akane, the way she sometimes held P-chan as if he were the only thing in the world that she loved-

Ranma nearly choked. No way. Ukyo in love with Ryoga? He stared a moment longer, not sure what to make of this new direction his thoughts were taking. It'd sure make things easier on him--two birds with one stone. The kettle whistled and P-chan darted to his clothing, which lay in a heap on the floor. Ukyo poured water over Ryoga's head and began his change. Within moments she was hugging him like she'd never let go.

Ryoga slipped his arms around her and pulled her closer, resting his head on hers as new tears spilled from his eyes. Ranma guessed he'd never expected that kind of acceptance from anyone. He turned away, embarrassed to have seen what he did. This was going to take some getting used to--if all was as it seemed.


Part Three: "Shampoo's Sudden Switch"
When he arrived at the schoolyard, Mousse was nowhere to be seen. Shampoo stood near the tennis courts and she smiled brightly when she saw Ranma.

"Nihao Ranma!" She was so bubbly and cute--it was too bad she was also so annoying. "Today Ranma send Mousse back to China? Shampoo cheering you."

"Look Shampoo," Ranma knew he'd have to be careful in order to keep her from getting suspicious. "There's a chance Mousse could beat me."

"No chance!" She shook her head decidedly, her indigo hair swinging. The girl looked so sure that he almost hated to disappoint her. Almost.

He realized that he needed to elaborate. "I hear he's been working on a secret technique, one that can knock me out quick if I don't see it coming. I'm counting on speed, but he could still win."

She nodded, a serious look on her face. She seemed to be eating this stuff up. Ranma was surprised. "If that happens, he's going to want you, Shampoo." An angry look crossed her face. "I'm asking you, if I lose, to go with him. For my honor."

Her face softened. "If Ranma lose, Shampoo date with Mousse. But Mousse no win. Ranma win." She flung her arms around him and squeezed tightly. "Shampoo kiss for luck."

Having learned from Akane, Ranma turned his head at the last minute, and Shampoo's kiss smacked against his cheek. She didn't seem bothered by this--maybe believing that there'd be time for kissing later.

She stepped back and smiled at him. "Ranma so shy! Soon be rid of Akane Tendo and spatula girl and have no reason be shy of Shampoo."

"What do you mean?" Ranma knew the Amazon was both clever and persistent--he wouldn't put it past her to kill them both.

"No worry. First must send Mousse home." She pointed to a spot behind Ranma. Obviously his opponent had arrived.

He spun around, expecting a surprise attack. Instead he got a face full of water. He choked and instantly felt the change. His body became lighter and smaller, and even his mind seemed to change a little in its workings.

"Hello Ranma." Mousse tossed the empty bucket aside. "I'm sorry about the water, but I've discovered that your strength decreases considerably in this form."

Ranma rolled up her wet sleeves and cinched the waist of her pants more snugly about her. "I'll play it this way, if that's what'chya want." She smiled to herself. True, she wasn't as strong now, but she was almost twice as fast. Speed was what was needed to avoid Mousse's sneak attacks, anyway. It would be easy to beat the blockhead. "Whenever you're ready, four eyes!"

At first the fight was pretty simple. Ranma dodged Mousse's weapons and offered few advances of her own. It was better for Mousse to wear himself out, anyway. It made Ranma's job a lot easier. Once the guy was out of tricks, it'd be nothing to finish the fight. Of course, she'd never seen him run out of tricks, yet.

"So you expect to wear me out, Ranma?" Mousse's voice was hardly strained. "Don't try to beat a man at his own game!" He laughed as a storm of knives flew from his sleeves in Ranma's direction.

She jumped aside just in time. "I don't believe you want to skewer me!" She gasped as the sharp blades pierced the ground where she'd stood. "This was a friendly challenge between friends--we're not s'posed to kill each other!"

Mousse pushed his glasses up with a finger. "Friends? Ranma Saotome, you stand between me and my beloved and you call us friends?" He laughed his bitter laugh. "You'll never be more than an obstacle to me!" He threw a chain that wound around her legs and knocked Ranma off of her feet.

With a little yelp, Ranma fell to the ground. She recovered quickly, hurriedly unwinding the chain from around her legs. She knew Mousse well enough to know that another attack would soon follow.

"Ranma look out!"

She didn't even recognize the voice as Akane's at first, but she heeded the warning instantly. She looked up to see Mousse, silhouetted by the sun, jumping through the air and about to pounce on Ranma. As if that weren't bad enough, his shoes had become bird's feet with sharp cruel talons.

Using the force of her panic-induced adrenaline, Ranma managed to roll out of the way just in time. She shook the chain from her legs and stood up just as Mousse was regaining his balance from this landing. Well, if he wanted to play rough, Ranma could match his every move. "Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken!" With speed that still managed to amaze even herself, Ranma launched her 'chestnuts roasting on an open fire' attack. Dozens of blows pummeled Mousse in just a few seconds. He attempted to block, pulling a shield, an umbrella, and even a dressing screen from his robe, but soon he was lying facedown on the ground.

Shampoo caught Ranma's attention by jumping up and down, clapping her hands gleefully. "Aiya Ranma! Now Mousse go and Ranma belong Shampoo forever!"

Ranma was still pretty dazed from the rush of the fight, but she realized that things weren't right. Suddenly she remembered the warning cry from before. Akane. Ranma spun about, spying Akane on the bleachers. She had her head down and was messing with the buckle on her shoe. It was clear she had heard Shampoo. Suddenly Ranma realized what was wrong with the fight! She'd forgotten entirely her intention to let Mousse win.

She'd blown it once before and now it seemed she'd done it again. He watched as Akane's hair blew in the wind. This time it had meant so much more . . .

A tight pair of arms attacked Ranma from behind, and an undeniably well-formed body pressed close to her back. "No need pervert-girl no more," Shampoo sighed as she nuzzled her neck.

Ranma never took her eyes from Akane, who suddenly stood as if to go. "Akane, wait! Let me explain!" She felt her heart pound with fear. She couldn't leave now--it'd be real bad. "Akane!"

Akane looked at her for a long moment, then turned to leave.

"Ranma Saotome, get your hands off my Shampoo!" Mousse? Everyone, even Akane, turned to look at the man they'd believed unconscious.

He stood, dirty and torn, with his fists clenched tightly at his sides. His glasses were foggy and impenetrable, but Ranma could imagine the rage in the eyes behind them. "No more games, Saotome. This time I mean to beat you." He tore off his robe, baring his muscular torso. "Get your hands off Shampoo."

"Aiya!" Shampoo's voice was small as she stepped away from Ranma. "Mousse, when you get so . . .?"

Ranma was ecstatic. This was her chance. Not only was Akane sticking around to see what happened, but with Mousse looking so powerful, it might not look so bad for her to lose to him. She sized him up, very aware of how much larger he was than her. This would be tricky.

"I thought you were down for the count," Ranma taunted in the hopes that he would attack.

She was not disappointed. "You thought wrong!" He charged her with a kick that Ranma easily dodged.

She threw a punch at his midsection, startled when her fist hit nothing but air. She swung again. Nothing. Mousse had clamped his hand on her forehead and held her away at his arm's length, which was considerably more than her own. With a scream of rage, Ranma kicked up at his arm, finally able to dislodge his hand.
Just as she was recovering her position, Ranma felt an uppercut make contact with her jaw. Mousse was a tricky one--he'd anticipated her moves better than she had his. The punch sent her flying, and she landed with a crash in a prickly bush.

The fall had knocked the wind out of her, but no more. However, Ranma knew that this was her opportunity to lose. A lesser man would be unconscious by now, which is what Ranma pretended to be as she closed her eyes.

Akane reached her side first. Ranma peeked through her lashes as she felt Akane grasp her hand. "Are you okay?" Her question was a hurried whisper.

"Never better," Ranma hissed back, realizing that she wasn't just lying to make Akane feel better. She was bruised and battered and her pride cried for her to get up and show Mousse who the better man really was, but in spite of all that, she felt better than she had in her life. She rested her head on Akane's shoulder and closed her eyes as the others came closer.

"She's unconscious." Akane's voice sounded clear and honest. "You beat Ranma."

"I-I," Mousse was obviously at a loss for words. "I beat Ranma?" Ranma opened her eyes enough to watch him do a goofy little jig. "Hear that Shampoo? I won! I won!"

Shampoo stood a small distance away, her eyes averted. "Shampoo hear." Ranma had never before heard her sound so glum.

"She's crying," Akane whispered, probably more to herself than to anyone else. She stepped toward the Amazon, but seemed to think better of it as Mousse stepped forward. Ranma was pleased that she was in a position to see everything.

Mousse stood before Shampoo and took off his glasses. "Shampoo, you are mine," he said with power.

She sighed. "Shampoo know." She bowed low before him and then held out her hand to him. "Shampoo give self freely to Mousse. Shampoo belong to duck-boy."
Mousse took two steps and folded his arms about her, stroking her long hair. Shampoo kept her arms limp at her sides. "You don't mind?" he asked timidly.

"What Shampoo feel no matter." She almost choked on a sob that she tried to bite back. "Your girlfriend now."

Mousse stepped away, grasping her shoulders as he stared into her face. "It does matter. Shampoo I love you." It sounded like he'd be crying, too, in another minute. He wiped a tear from Shampoo's cheek. "Do you mind?"

She looked up at him for a long time, seeming to realize that he was giving her a choice. Finally she smiled slightly and put Mousse's glasses back on his face. "Mousse strong man; beat him what beat Shampoo. Amazon law say now Shampoo marry Mousse." She looked at Mousse and touched his long dark hair. "Been good friend. Shampoo no mind . . ." She paused and looked to where Akane held the unconscious Ranma's hand. " . . . much." She took Mousse's hand and led him away without glancing back.

"That was really something," Akane sighed, a wistful look on her face as she watched them leave. "What do you think? Will she learn to love him?"

Ranma sat up and felt her jaw, hoping the bruising wouldn't be too obvious. "Stranger things have happened." She was thinking about what she'd say when it got out that she'd been beaten by Mousse. Ranma hoped she wouldn't have to fight Ryoga again. Or Kuno. It would be worth it though, to finally be rid of Shampoo.

"Ranma?"

She glanced up at Akane, who had the strangest look on her face. "Yeah?"

Akane blushed a deep pink and looked at her hands. "This is weird, with you being a girl and all, but," she took a deep breath and her question came out like a rush of air. "Would you like to go out tonight?"

Ranma nearly toppled over as she tried to stand. "You mean a date?" She realized her voice sounded incredulous, but couldn't help it. She'd never in a million years expected Akane to ask her out.

"Forget it." Akane turned away, ready to stalk home angrily.

Ranma grabbed her wrist and spun her around. She smiled. "I meant yes, dummy."
A slow smile crept over Akane's features and Ranma felt a tingle down to her toes. She really was cute. Real cute. Ranma didn't stop smiling, even as Akane tore away and ran toward home.

"Pick me up at seven!" she called over her shoulder.

Ranma whistled to herself and put her hands behind her head. She surveyed the battleground with a new eye. This loss would hurt her reputation, to be sure, but the ground she'd gained would make it all worthwhile.

As she headed off toward home, something made her turn around. She had an eerie feeling that this wasn't really over yet. Another quick survey of the school ground confirmed her feeling. High in a tree near where she'd landed and faked unconsciousness, Cologne sat staring at him. For a long moment, neither moved, then she disappeared into the leafy branches.

Ranma felt a cold shiver tickle her spine. She'd seen the whole thing. This wasn't going to be pretty.


Part Four: "These Things Happen, You Know"
Ranma pulled his cap low over his eyes. He felt silly, but Akane had told him to pick her up, as if they didn't live in the same house, so that was what he'd do. He'd spent a good long time getting ready--locked in his room so he wouldn't run into Akane. It didn't take long to change back and get into new clothes, but he'd mostly sat around planning where to go. Ucchan's and the Cat Cafe were out of the question, so he'd decided on a little restaurant within walking distance. It was expensive, but quiet. After his crazy day, all he wanted was peace and quiet and to talk to Akane.

He pulled himself out the window and onto the roof. The roof was quiet. Maybe Akane wouldn't mind staying there. Ranma dismissed that thought as soon as it came. She'd hate it. He walked as silently as possible over to her part of the roof and hung by his ankles over the edge.

It was exactly seven and Akane was ready. He rapped softly at the window frame and Akane hurried over. "Ranma! What are you doing?" she giggled.

"I didn't figure you wanted anyone to know we're going out," Ranma explained, holding his hands out to her. "You know, less questions."

She smiled and took his hands. He noticed she smelled like flowers as he lowered her gently to the ground. With a showy flip, he landed on his feet next to her. Strangely, Ranma felt very natural, as though he and Akane sneaked out together all the time. Neither said another word until they were safely off Tendo property.

"Where to?" Akane's eyes sparkled beneath the street lamp. She looked eager and happy.

Ranma took her hand. It was starting to feel sort of familiar to him now. "A surprise. Follow me." She giggled softly as she followed his lead.

Within a few minutes they stood under the neon glow of the restaurant's sign. Akane was blue under the light--blue dress, blue skin, blue hair. He laughed, "You look pretty strange with blue hair, Akane!"

She smiled--even her teeth were blue.

They stepped into the building and waited to be seated. Food smells wafted about them, making Ranma hungry. The hostess led them to a small table by a window, and they sat across from each other nervously. The ease from the walk had vanished as the real date began.

The waitress came and went with their orders while they made small talk about the weather and their families. "So what's with Nabiki?" Ranma asked. "Is she really dating Kuno or what?"

Akane shrugged, relaxing with the familiar topic. "Who knows? They went for a boat ride in the park today. I saw them on the way home from shopping."

"Who would'a thought Nabiki'd be one for boat rides?" Ranma took a big bite of his bread and continued. "I mean, you'd think she'd have him out buyin' her stuff." He swallowed and took a gulp of water. "That's what she's done with other guys."

"Unless," Akane giggled over her salad. "Unless she's really serious about him." She paused to laugh some more. "She hasn't asked me to pay her for spending time with him."

Ranma couldn't help but laugh along. "Yeah, couldn't you just see Kuno asking to marry her?" He bowed low over the table, deepening his voice. "Mr. Tendo? I, Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinkin High, would like to have the modest and beautiful Nabiki Tendo for my bride. With your permission--"

"Stop!" Akane looked frantically about her as she smothered a giggle. "Ranma, people are staring!"

He did as she wished and they ate for a few minutes in silence, except for the occasional giggle that escaped when their eyes met.

"But Ranma, what if she is serious?" She suddenly sounded worried. "I'm not sure that Kuno is the right--"

"Aw, don't worry about it, Akane. Nabiki's a big girl. She knows what she's doing." He smiled and took her hand reassuringly. "Besides, what are the odds she'll actually marry him?"

"So, son-in-law, you speak of marriage--to this girl rather than my Shampoo." An unmistakable crackly voice interrupted.

Akane gasped and Ranma stood up. "What're you doing here, Ghoul?"

Cologne hobbled closer on her walking stick. "Shampoo came back and told me everything. She and Mousse plan to close shop and head back for China." She narrowed her eyes at Ranma. "But I say it wasn't a fair fight."

Ranma clenched his fists, "What makes you think that?"

"Don't try to fool me, boy, I was there. The boy couldn't have beaten you so easily. To hear him tell it, you were bested with a sucker punch." She shook her head reproachfully. "Now son-in-law, we all know your skill exceeds that."
Ranma looked straight into her bulgy eyes. "That's how it happened, Ghoul. He beat me. Now Shampoo is his problem." He sat down and picked up his chopsticks. "For that matter, so are you."

Cologne's eyes flashed something like fury. "Don't toy with me. I know you threw the fight and I'll see to it a fair battle is fought. You and I shall fight, in a week." Ranma tried not to match Akane's gasp of alarm. "If you win, you are free to do as you please. If I win, you will marry Shampoo and keep her from shame among my people."

Ranma was furious. He didn't want to fight the old lady, but if he refused he looked like a coward. Besides, she'd probably just give him the kiss of death and chase him to all ends of the earth. He looked at Akane, who watched him with wide eyes. He'd do it for her. He'd do just about anything for her. "Fine! I'll be there. But no tricks--you said a fair fight."

The Amazon crone cackled merrily. "Of course, son-in-law, of course."

Suddenly Shampoo burst in, pushing past a waitress in her effort to get to them. "Great-grandmother! Shampoo say Mousse win! Saw with own eyes! Law say marry Mousse now." She pulled gently on the crone's sleeve. "Leave Ranma alone. Go to China with Shampoo and husband."

Cologne turned to her great-granddaughter angrily. "Hush, Shampoo! My son-in-law has agreed to a re-match. Against me."

Shampoo gasped. "No Ranma! No need fight more! Mousse beat fair!" She looked at Akane, pleadingly. "No let Ranma fight Great-grandmother!"

"That will be enough, Shampoo." the old lady said sharply. "Come along. We have much to plan." She hopped away rapidly. More slowly, Shampoo followed with her head down.

She looked back once, her face full of sadness. "No fight, Ranma! She tricky!" she called out. Ranma looked away. He'd already agreed to the challenge.

As soon as they were out of earshot, Akane spoke up. "Ranma, you can't beat her. How are you going to do this?"

Ranma wasn't at all sure. "I'm gonna have to beat her." He put his head down on the table. "I'll think of something." He was really at a loss with this one. The only thing that had even remotely worked before was the Cat Fist, but he wasn't confident that she'd fall for the same move twice. Still, he had a week to train; that would be more than enough time to learn something new.

"Let's not worry about it now," he said reassuringly to Akane. "Why don't we just eat up?" She nodded and they picked up their chopsticks. After a couple of bites, it was clear that neither had much of an appetite left.

"Do you want to see a movie?" Akane's voice was unnaturally chipper, but Ranma couldn't think of anything he'd like more than a dark theater to hide out in. It really spooked him that Cologne had managed to find him in a place he'd never been before.

Within a half hour they were comfortably seated near the back of the movie theater. Ranma had been too preoccupied to notice which film Akane had chosen to see, but he didn't really care.

As the room darkened and the movie began, Ranma felt his anxiety over the old lady's challenge dissolve. He'd come this far, he certainly wasn't about to be stopped now. Once the Ghoul was out of the way, all he had to do was get rid of Kodachi--if she ever showed up, explain things to Ukyo, and break it to Ryoga that he wasn't going to get Akane. And tell Akane. That was probably going to be his toughest job yet. Then, when things were settled here, he'd go back to China and find a cure for his curse. Maybe the Nannichuan was ruined, but there had to be a cure somewhere. He tucked his hands behind his head, thinking of being normal again.

"Ranma?" Akane whispered, rubbing her elbow. He hadn't realized that he'd bumped her. As if it'd been his intention the whole time, he slipped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her nearer. It was funny how he was getting used to touching her. He could hardly see her face in the darkness. She dropped her head onto his shoulder and he smiled. Her hair smelled good.
Not long later, Akane stood up. "I'll be back--I'm going to get some popcorn," she whispered. "Want some?"

Ranma shook his head; he'd just eat hers anyway. She was gone only a couple minutes before she dropped back into the seat, empty-handed.

"What about the popcorn?" he asked quietly.

"Oh!" She cleared her throat and whispered back, "The line was too long. I didn't want to miss the movie." Her voice sounded strange.

"Akane, are you okay?" Ranma reached for her hand.

She snatched it away as if he were on fire. "Oh! Oh yes, I'm just thirsty, that's all." She kept her head down and twisted the hem of her dress in her fingers.

Ranma stood up. "Just a sec," he whispered. He darted into the lobby, running smack into a girl with her arms full of popcorn. They both toppled to the ground, the buttery popcorn flying everywhere. The girl cried out in alarm.

"Sorry." Sheepishly, Ranma started scooping the popcorn into the empty buckets.

"Ranma!?"

"Akane!" Ranma did a double take, looking back at the door to the theater. "But how did you--?"

"You idiot! Couldn't you wait for just a minute?" She stood up and looked at the butter smeared all over her dress. "I was just about to--"

Ranma was confused. "But then who's in there?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Some girl pretended she was you and asked for a drink." Ranma knew it sounded insane--it was insane! But it was true, and he knew he'd have to prove it to Akane. "Come with me!"

Grabbing her wrist, he led her back to their seats. There was no Akane imposter there at all. Rather, a boy sat alone, wearing a cap very similar to Ranma's. Ranma grabbed him. "Just whaddaya think you're doin', buddy?"

"Gosunkugi Hikaru?" Akane recognized him first.

Several moviegoers turned around to quiet them, but Ranma ignored them all. "Tryin' to move in on Akane while I was gone? Is that what you're doin'?" Ranma yanked the cap off the boy's head and threw it on the ground. "Well?"

"I just," Gosunkugi stammered, "I just wanted. . . "

An usher approached and asked them to leave the theater. Akane angrily led the way. Ranma didn't let go of Gosunkugi until they were on the sidewalk. He pushed him against the wall of the building. Ranma couldn't believe he'd tried to hold some guy's hand. Just the thought made his skin crawl. He wanted to beat the kid senseless.

Before he could throw even one punch, however, he felt Akane tap on his shoulder. He turned to look at her and received a sharp smack across his cheek.

"In what way does he look like me!?" she demanded, furious. With an angry kick to his shin, she spun on her heel and stalked away.

"You are so un-cute!"

He turned back to Gosunkugi only to discover that the boy had slipped away while he was watching Akane. In his place there was a little straw voodoo doll pinned to the wall through its face. The doll had a pigtail. Ranma sighed. Maybe it was for the best. The poor guy wouldn't have stood a chance. With a leap, Ranma chased after Akane. "Hey Akane! Wait!"

By the time they reached the Tendo home, Ranma and Akane had more or less made up. They walked slowly into the yard, talking softly. The house was dark. Ranma was glad. He was sick of interruptions. He put his hand on the doorknob, but Akane stopped him by putting hers over it.

"Ranma, wait a second. There's something I want to tell you." She took a deep breath and smiled timidly. "Remember how the springs were flooded at Jusenkyo?" Ranma nodded. He preferred not to think about that. "Well, I know that the flood made it impossible to get any water from the Nannichuan, but--"

Ranma cut her off by putting his finger against her lips. He held up his hand to signal for silence, then cocked his head. He was sure he'd heard something while Akane had been talking, but whatever--or whoever--it was, the sound had stopped.

"Put your arms around me," Ranma whispered as he gathered Akane close. He had a plan to flush out their spies.

"Are you even listening to me?" Akane stamped her foot angrily. "I was trying to tell you--"

Ranma squeezed. Tight. "Just do it and shut up," he hissed. Stubborn wasn't even the word for her. Akane complied and they stood close while Ranma listened to the darkness.

"Are they kissing?"

"No Daddy, and I'm sure they won't if they hear you."

"Growr?"

"Oh my, they're standing so close! Mr. Saotome, don't you think they're a little too young?"

Ranma noticed the instant Akane heard them. Her back stiffened and he could hear her mumble under her breath. "So Akane, " he murmured in her ear, "should we scare them?" He felt her nod against his collarbone. "Okay. One, two, three!"

They jumped apart and ran toward the bush where the sound was coming from. Ranma yelled and he heard Akane's wild scream to match. They collapsed in pants and giggles as they watched the family flee. Nabiki and Soun were in front, followed closely by Kasumi. The panda lumbered behind as they sped around the side of the house.

A few minutes later, Akane and Ranma still lay on the grass, catching their breath and fighting off lingering chuckles. Genma and the Tendos were nowhere near, but Ranma knew that it wouldn't be long before they came back.

"I guess this wasn't such a good idea," Akane said in an amused voice. "Threatened by Cologne, kicked out of the movies, and then having to put up with them! Honestly! Not exactly a perfect evening." She propped her head up on an elbow and poked him. "Was it?"

"I had fun," Ranma offered. He lay on the grass looking up at her. The moon was behind her head, creating a sort of halo. All he could see of her face was the sparkle of her eyes. The image was entrancing and he stared at her for a long time before totally realizing what he was doing. By then, it was too late to look away and it crossed his mind that he'd like to kiss her again.

Ranma blushed as he realized that he didn't know how to begin. The other kiss had been a sort of accident, and all his previous kisses, he inwardly cringed, had been initiated by others.

"Ranma?" Akane's eyes had never left his face, either, and he felt her breath ruffle his hair as she spoke. "We should go in. They'll be back soon."

He nodded and they both got up. They were quiet as they entered the dark house and crept up the stairs. Pausing by Akane's bedroom door, Ranma anticipated another awkward moment to endure. Akane made it easy by reaching out and squeezing his hand.

"Good night, Ranma," she said simply.

"Sweet dreams, Akane," he answered. After sharing a brief smile, she went into her room and he crept on to his own. As he lay there later, he wondered if he should've tried to kiss her. He wondered if Ryoga was in there with her tonight. Mostly, he wondered if Akane was thinking of him, too.


Part Five: "Smells Like Evil Spirit"
Ranma was in heaven. Thick chocolate shakes. Tall ice cream sundaes. Okonomiyaki, cabbage rolls, and peppered steaks. The table was covered with all the food he liked best, and he felt like he hadn't eaten in weeks. He sat down at one end and picked up a pair of chopsticks.

"Ranma!"

He wondered why Kasumi sounded so alarmed. He was only going to eat, after all. He pulled a bowl closer and breathed in its spicy aroma. Oh yeah, he was going to love this.

"Ranma! Oh please, wake up!" She shook his shoulder, jostling the chopsticks from his hand.

"Hey! I'm tryin' to eat here!" Ranma blinked and looked around. He was in his room, sitting in bed. It was still dark and Kasumi was there, kneeling on the floor next to him. "Huh?" He scratched his head. "Kasumi?"

"Ranma," she began in a rush. "There's someone in the house! I was writing a letter and heard a noise from the kitchen!" She grabbed his arm and tugged him to his feet. "We have a burglar!"

Ranma's sleepiness left in an instant. He'd never seen Kasumi so worked up about anything before. Her eyes were wide and full of frantic energy. Something had really scared her. As a martial artist, this was exactly the kind of thing he'd been trained for.

He crept down the hall toward the kitchen, mindful of Kasumi, who followed closely. If he came in stealthily enough, he could catch the burgler in the act.

"What are you doing?" Ranma spun about--it figured someone would wake up. Akane stood at her doorway in her pajamas. She held P-chan in her arms. The sight of that pig irritated Ranma, and he moved farther down the hall, ignoring her. When Ranma didn't answer, she looked to Kasumi. "Kasumi, what's going on?"

Kasumi grabbed her sister's hand. "There's someone in the kitchen! Ranma's going to chase him off!"

Akane gasped, becoming angry. "Someone broke in?" she demanded, putting her pig on the floor. P-chan squealed and ran back up the hallway. "We don't even have anything worth taking! Honestly! The nerve of some people!" She pushed up her sleeves and stepped up next to Ranma.

He almost smiled. "You don't think you're actually gonna--"

"And why not?" She crossed her arms and glared at him. "I'll have you know that before you came I was always the one to protect the family. Just because you're a boy, don't think that you're--"

"This don't got nothin' to do with me being a guy! Even in my girl form I'd be better at--"

He was cut short when a suspiciously damp Ryoga charged down the hall. "An intruder? Just let me at him!" He declared in a loud voice. He clutched his magic stick in his hands and ran recklessly toward the kitchen.

As Ryoga darted past, Ranma stuck his foot into his path, sending him tumbling onto the floor. With a groan, he sat up and glared at Ranma.

"Ryoga?" Akane sounded puzzled.

"Ryoga!" Kasumi was obviously happy to have yet another martial artist to help track down the burglar.

"Calm down, already." Ranma looked about the too-crowded hallway and sighed. "If we're gonna catch this guy, we need to work together. Akane, you take care of Kasumi. Ryoga and I will handle the burglar." He turned back toward the stairs.

"Wait! Why can't I handle the burglar?" Ranma couldn't believe that she really wanted to argue this right now. Akane stood with her arm around Kasumi, a defiant look on her face.

Before he spoke, Ranma planned his words carefully. He had to get them just right to make her happy. "Just make sure Kasumi's not hurt. This guy could be dangerous and we need someone to protect her." He didn't let on that he was nervous enough without having to protect anyone. Having Akane and Kasumi around would be a distraction.

Akane seemed to accept her position, and the group crept down the stairs. The house was silent, and Ranma wondered if whoever had broken in hadn't left already. Ryoga split off to search other parts of the house. When Ranma and the girls came to the kitchen, he snapped the lights on.

"Oh my!" Kasumi's voice was faint.

"That animal!" Akane yelled.

The entire room was trashed. Drawers had been pulled out, glasses and plates broken, even the contents of the refrigerator had been dumped onto the floor. It was if someone had been searching for something. Ranma wondered if he'd found it.

Ryoga came into the room while they stared at the mess. "I've checked the rest of the house. He's gone, whoever he was, and he tore up the living room before he left." He scanned the kitchen and slammed his staff against the floor. "I can't believe he got away!"

"I can." All eyes turned to the doorway where Nabiki, Soun, and the panda surveyed the damage with tired eyes. "With all the racket you made upstairs, you couldn't sneak up on a dead panda."

"Growwer!"

"No offense intended." She smiled slightly as she took Kasumi's hands. "Come on, Kasumi. Let's get back to bed and forget this ever happened. I'm sure it'll be all cleaned up by the time you wake up." With a pointed look to Ranma, she led her distraught sister from the room.

Akane couldn't rest so easily. "Why would anyone want to break in here?" she wondered aloud.

"Evidently we have something they want." Soun stated the obvious. "But what?"

"Something in the kitchen. . ." Akane was evidently at a loss as to what could be so valuable.

The panda, who had been munching on some of the dinner leftovers he'd found near the fridge, held up a sign. Kasumi's cooking?

Soun looked thoughtful. "Perhaps. From now on, I suppose we'll have to eat everything she cooks each night. And to be extra careful--"

"Gimme a break!" Ranma interjected crossly. Sometimes he thought those two were dense on purpose. "Kasumi's food is good, but not that good!"

They gave him reproachful looks.

"What he means," Akane quickly corrected, "is that everyone knows Kasumi would willingly feed all of Nerima if they asked. It must be something else."

Everyone considered this silently. After a few minutes, Ryoga spoke hesitantly. "I saw Happosai in the dojo. He was asleep, curled up in his . . ." He blushed brightly. Ranma guessed that the old man had his collection with him.

"The master is evil, but not that evil. You don't think he'd tear up his own home, do you?" Soun answered emphatically.

Yes. The panda's sign was simple, but equally emphatic.

Akane disagreed. "But he knows we don't have anything! Why would he waste his time looking?" She had a good point.

Soun yawned. "Maybe after a good night's rest we can figure it out." He headed out of the room, but looked back at Ranma before he left. "I trust you won't disappoint Kasumi?"

Ranma sighed. Of course he wouldn't.

The panda lumbered after Soun.

Ranma grabbed his furry arm. "Hey Pop! You don't think you're gettin' off that easy, do ya?" He should've expected him to something like this.

Genma shrugged him off without even stopping. Sure do.

He disappeared into the dark hallway. Left alone with Akane and Ryoga, Ranma figured they could have the place cleaned up in a couple hours--three at most. He and Akane could tackle the mess in the kitchen while Ryoga took the living room.

Ryoga spoke up. "Well Akane, it looks like Ranma and I can take care of this. You should go back to bed." He looked at Ranma with an authoritative air. "I'll take the living room and you can straighten up in here."

Ranma glared. What right had he to dismiss a third of their help? It turned his stomach to see such nobility. Akane looked uncertain. "Are you sure?" It was clear she wanted to get back to bed.

Ryoga put his staff on the table and picked up a broom. "Of course we are. You need your sleep." He shooed her from the room. "And don't you worry about the burglar. We'll figure it all out!"

As soon as they heard the door to her room close, Ryoga put the broom back down and headed for the sink. "Well, she'll be looking for me. . ."

"Oh no!" Ranma laughed bitterly, stepping between Ryoga and the cold water. "There's no way I'm letting you off the hook!" He slapped the broom back into Ryoga's hand. "Besides, you owe it to Akane for letting the guy get away! I mean, if you hadn't made so much noise upstairs . . ." He shook his head as he trailed off. "Let's get this room first."

His guilt tactic apparently worked. Looking more depressed than usual, Ryoga started dutifully sweeping broken glass and ceramic into a pile. Gathering his courage, Ranma surveyed the rest of the room. It wasn't so awful--the cleanup from the wedding had been at least this. Of course, the whole family had pitched in for that . . ."


to be continued . . .