DISCLAIMER
Okay, here goes: (Deep breath)
I do not own any people, characters, places or things associated with:
FFVIII
FFVII
A comb factory
A Kola cube factory
A hotdog factory
A mirror factory
The care bears
A can of pink spray paint
An amplifier factory
A blond wig
Squall's room (I wish!)
The tweenies
Beanie babies
A Barbie factory
A drycleaning business
Kwiksave
He he... looking at that lot gives you an idea of how mad I truely am. Oh, and I'm estatic, cos although I wrote this a month ago back in December, I just got the set of 4 FFVIII action figures with Squall, Zell, Quistis and Edea for £7.50 for the whole set! He- he!
Oh, yeah, and [ ] is thinking. Just in case you didn't get that.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hm/Wk Induced Insanity pt1- Squall's bad hair day
BANG! BANG! BANG!
"Get your ass out of bed already!"
The warm and friendly greeting was enough to knock Squall out of his deep sleep. He sat up and shot a glance at the mirror.
"Oh, shit!" he muttered when he saw his hair. "Where's my comb?"
"Hell-loo?" asked the voice behind the door
[Fuck!] thought Squall. [The one morning I agree to meet the guys for breakfast, my hair looks like Selphie's dead hampster's slept in it... although I saw it coming. She was feeding it on Kola cubes and sugar... arrggh! Think, dammit!]
"Wake up! Are you alive in there?"
[Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!!]
His rage building, Squall subconciously slammed his right fist through the reflective glass sheet on the wall. It shattered into countless pieces.
"Squall? Squall, are you ok? SQUALL?!" came a voice above the others.
"Yeah, fine" came his reply. He looked at the broken glass. [It'll take ages to clean this up, and... hey!] he thought, as he spotted the comb under his desk. [Score, baby!]. He fixed his hair and answered the door.
"Well, it took ya long enough." Irvine said
"Yeah, the cafeteria'll have no hotdogs left. Thanks a bunch, man." added Zell
Selphie looked horrified "Hotdogs for breakfast?!"
"Yeah. Always."
"Ewwwwww! You should eat double chocolate chip ice cream with pink wafers!"
"And she calls me bad..." Zell's voice trailed off as the group began to leave
"Yeah, but..." Quistis looked in Squall's room and sees the broken mirror "Did you do that?"
"Yeah." Squall replied
"AHH!" cried Rinoa. "7 years bad luck!"
Squall was confused "Huh?"
"RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!"
At Irvine's cry, the whole gang ran off, with the exception of Squall, who stood and shook his head.
"...whatever."
He left his room. The door hit him in the back on the way out.
---------------------------------------------------------------
After stacking it 5 times on the wet freshly- washed walkway connecting the dorm room to the main part of garden, Squall finally reached the main lobby- ring- thingy, where he was greeted by the frantic mob of the entire student body:
Library girl with pigtail- The library's on fire!
Irvine- G. gardens invading again!
Zell- The hotdog supplier's gone bust!
Quistis- Trepe groupie # 1 looked up my skirt!
Xu- The whole CC group's Triad decks are spontainiously combusting!
Nida- No one's flying Garden! I've lost the keys! We're gonna crash!
Raijin- My shins are dented! Both my legs are broken!
Fujin- (Kicks Squall) PISSED. CARE BEAR. STOLEN. RAIJIN. RAGE.
Squall- Ouch...
Irvine- My coat's grass- stained!
Selphie- My dress is... erm... Irvy- stained!
Seifer- Someone blew up Winhill!
Cid- Norg's gonna sit on Balamb!
Edea- Cid won't make love to me!
Rinoa- Squall, I'm pregnant!
Jack- I'm failing Status Junction!
Selphie- I'm failing Sense Junction!
Zell- The hell's Sense Junction?
Quistis- Someone slaughtered PuPu!
Diamond- Red XIII's tail set light to our skirts!
Red XIII- My tail appears to have been possessed by a sentient life force with a mind of it's own!
Club- Joker broke my sunglasses!
Joker- T-Rexaur shredded my tents!
Rinoa- Nida spray- painted Angelo pink!
Angelo- Arf!
Aeris- Cute!
Spade- The elevator broke and fell 2 floors!
Cloud- My wardrobe caught light! My blond plaited pigtail wig is ruined!
ChocoDragon- I should be revising for my Chemistry test!
Irvine- I borrowed your black nail varnish and I broke the bottle!
Zell- I blew up your Amplifier!
Tifa- He blew up your Amplifier!
Seifer- My origami dinosaurs are all squished!
Sephiroth- My Beany babies have come to life! And Iggy's stolen my Masume and is set on world domination!
Quistis- The Inter- Sequel barrier has broken down!
Ultimecia- I'm dead!
Zell- 15 men have ransaked your room!
Irvy- 15 gay men are waiting for you in your room!
Rinoa- 15 gay men are trying to break us up!
Selphie- The Tweenie's studio was bombed!
Squall- TWEENIES? DEAD? JAKE? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
He collapses unconcious to the ground
Red XIII- Ooo, that had to hurt...
----------------------------------------------------------
Squall awoke 15 mins later in the infirmary. [Shit, my head kills]
"Take it easy, you've had a coronary. Though I've never seen it in someone your age before..." Kadowaki said
"uuurrr" he groaned as he rolled over to the left, then cried out in pain as a spring came through the matress and dug into his side.
"AAAHHH!" screamed Squall
"He-He!" Selphie giggled "Enough, enough already!"
"Sp-rungggg!"said Irvy
"Huh?" said Squall, dazed
"You don't have a heart condition." said Kadowaki
"We set you up!" Selphie said "And you fell for it! All of it!"
"Wha-?" said Squall
"He, he, he!" said Rinoa. "I liked the wet hallway bit best!"
"You... shitheads." said Squall
"Sucka!" said Barret
"Huh?" said everybody
"Damn. Wrong set." Barret left
"Oo-kay" Zell said
"There's summit I wanted to say." Squall said. Everyone looked and stared in awe as Squall proceeded to respond to all of the situations thrown at him and speak for the longest period of time known to any Leonhart (that's not hard, considering there's only one. Awwwww.)
(Deep breath...)
"LGWP- Put it out for christs sake! Spit on it, piss on it, whatever!!
Irvy- Throw Zell in there. 5 mins with that guy is enough to kill anybody
Zell- Goto Kwiksave. They sell anything in there.
Quistis- Staple it to your boots then
Xu- Mug the entire population of Esthar for their decks. On second thoughts, that's an order!
Nida- Get your ass onto the bridge before I sack you
Raijin- By a barbie doll, rip hers off and use them
Fujin- Kick me one more time and I'll set Selphie on you
Irvy- Goto the drycleaners
Selphie- Excuse me while I throw up
Seifer- Blow up Timber then you're even.
Cid- Put a 45ft sharp spiky TV ariel on top of Balamb hotel, then jam it up his ass and maybe we'll be able to get channel 5 for once
Edea- Borrow Rinoa's kinky black dress and he'll go ga-ga for you
Rinoa- Can we call it Griever?
Jack- Make it up!
Selphie- Steal Irvine's. On second thoughts...
Zell- I dunno. Ask Quisty
Quistis- Steal it's ship
Diamond- Jump in the fountain
Red XIII- Erm... who the hell are you??!!
Club- Shoot him
Joker- Sue it
Rinoa- Sue Nida. Then spray-paint him pink. It could be funny
Angelo- Woof to you too
Aeris- True
Spade- Pick up the pieces
Cloud- Die the rest black and say you're going Gothic.
ChocoDragon- STOP WRITING THIS FIC AND GET ON WITH IT THEN!!!
[ChocoDragon- Oh, but it's fun!
Squall- Okay, I'll let you off then.
ChocoDragon- Cool!]
Irvine- you owe me 3 gil for it
Zell- You owe me 1000000 gil for it (Author's note- I have no idea in hell how much an amplifier costs, so dont shoot me)
Tifa- I know!. Quit repeating what Zell says and think up your own lines for a change!
Seifer- Make more
Sephiroth- Set him up with Aurora, cos she fancies Iggy, and maybe he'll share his reign of terror with you and let you rule... erm... Esthar.
Quistis- Bash up Ulti again and, maybe like time compression, it'll fix itself
Ulti- Deal with it, Bitch woman spawn of the devil!!!
Zell- Fix my room
Irvine- Tell them I'll be there in 5... you did say girls, right?
Rinoa- 15 gay men will never come between us (Awww!)
Selphie- TWEENIES!? NOOO!!!
He goes to faint again. Rinoa slaps him.
"Thanx"
"Squall" said Quistis "You have a good memory, but we made all that stuff up."
"Oh. That's cool."
"Except... erm... Squall..."
"What?"
"I really have lost the ignition keys to Garden."
"Really?"
"Really."
Squall passed out again before his head hit the pillow.
---------------------------------------------
DUN- DUN- DUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNN!
Has Nida put Squall in a permenant Coma?
Will Selphie and Zell EVER learn the meaning of Sense Junction?
Can Irvine borrow enough money to pay back Squall?
Will Quistis and Rinoa get bigger parts?
Will ChocoDragon fail A/S level chemistry?
Tune in next time to.... erm.... whatever I called this... to not find the answers to these questions, cos I've already written the next 3 parts, and it ain't in any of em. So there.
Oh, and I don't hate any of the cast of FFVIII or VII (Well, those that I've met, cos I'm only 10 hours into FFVII so don't tell me what happens!!) They're just oh so easy to bash! And I don't believe the Time compression thingy either, but thats another story...
Embrace the insanity!
Hyperactive ChocoDragon
xx (erm, does that look kinda dodgy? Cos it shouldn't.)
Okay, here goes: (Deep breath)
I do not own any people, characters, places or things associated with:
FFVIII
FFVII
A comb factory
A Kola cube factory
A hotdog factory
A mirror factory
The care bears
A can of pink spray paint
An amplifier factory
A blond wig
Squall's room (I wish!)
The tweenies
Beanie babies
A Barbie factory
A drycleaning business
Kwiksave
He he... looking at that lot gives you an idea of how mad I truely am. Oh, and I'm estatic, cos although I wrote this a month ago back in December, I just got the set of 4 FFVIII action figures with Squall, Zell, Quistis and Edea for £7.50 for the whole set! He- he!
Oh, yeah, and [ ] is thinking. Just in case you didn't get that.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hm/Wk Induced Insanity pt1- Squall's bad hair day
BANG! BANG! BANG!
"Get your ass out of bed already!"
The warm and friendly greeting was enough to knock Squall out of his deep sleep. He sat up and shot a glance at the mirror.
"Oh, shit!" he muttered when he saw his hair. "Where's my comb?"
"Hell-loo?" asked the voice behind the door
[Fuck!] thought Squall. [The one morning I agree to meet the guys for breakfast, my hair looks like Selphie's dead hampster's slept in it... although I saw it coming. She was feeding it on Kola cubes and sugar... arrggh! Think, dammit!]
"Wake up! Are you alive in there?"
[Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!!]
His rage building, Squall subconciously slammed his right fist through the reflective glass sheet on the wall. It shattered into countless pieces.
"Squall? Squall, are you ok? SQUALL?!" came a voice above the others.
"Yeah, fine" came his reply. He looked at the broken glass. [It'll take ages to clean this up, and... hey!] he thought, as he spotted the comb under his desk. [Score, baby!]. He fixed his hair and answered the door.
"Well, it took ya long enough." Irvine said
"Yeah, the cafeteria'll have no hotdogs left. Thanks a bunch, man." added Zell
Selphie looked horrified "Hotdogs for breakfast?!"
"Yeah. Always."
"Ewwwwww! You should eat double chocolate chip ice cream with pink wafers!"
"And she calls me bad..." Zell's voice trailed off as the group began to leave
"Yeah, but..." Quistis looked in Squall's room and sees the broken mirror "Did you do that?"
"Yeah." Squall replied
"AHH!" cried Rinoa. "7 years bad luck!"
Squall was confused "Huh?"
"RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!"
At Irvine's cry, the whole gang ran off, with the exception of Squall, who stood and shook his head.
"...whatever."
He left his room. The door hit him in the back on the way out.
---------------------------------------------------------------
After stacking it 5 times on the wet freshly- washed walkway connecting the dorm room to the main part of garden, Squall finally reached the main lobby- ring- thingy, where he was greeted by the frantic mob of the entire student body:
Library girl with pigtail- The library's on fire!
Irvine- G. gardens invading again!
Zell- The hotdog supplier's gone bust!
Quistis- Trepe groupie # 1 looked up my skirt!
Xu- The whole CC group's Triad decks are spontainiously combusting!
Nida- No one's flying Garden! I've lost the keys! We're gonna crash!
Raijin- My shins are dented! Both my legs are broken!
Fujin- (Kicks Squall) PISSED. CARE BEAR. STOLEN. RAIJIN. RAGE.
Squall- Ouch...
Irvine- My coat's grass- stained!
Selphie- My dress is... erm... Irvy- stained!
Seifer- Someone blew up Winhill!
Cid- Norg's gonna sit on Balamb!
Edea- Cid won't make love to me!
Rinoa- Squall, I'm pregnant!
Jack- I'm failing Status Junction!
Selphie- I'm failing Sense Junction!
Zell- The hell's Sense Junction?
Quistis- Someone slaughtered PuPu!
Diamond- Red XIII's tail set light to our skirts!
Red XIII- My tail appears to have been possessed by a sentient life force with a mind of it's own!
Club- Joker broke my sunglasses!
Joker- T-Rexaur shredded my tents!
Rinoa- Nida spray- painted Angelo pink!
Angelo- Arf!
Aeris- Cute!
Spade- The elevator broke and fell 2 floors!
Cloud- My wardrobe caught light! My blond plaited pigtail wig is ruined!
ChocoDragon- I should be revising for my Chemistry test!
Irvine- I borrowed your black nail varnish and I broke the bottle!
Zell- I blew up your Amplifier!
Tifa- He blew up your Amplifier!
Seifer- My origami dinosaurs are all squished!
Sephiroth- My Beany babies have come to life! And Iggy's stolen my Masume and is set on world domination!
Quistis- The Inter- Sequel barrier has broken down!
Ultimecia- I'm dead!
Zell- 15 men have ransaked your room!
Irvy- 15 gay men are waiting for you in your room!
Rinoa- 15 gay men are trying to break us up!
Selphie- The Tweenie's studio was bombed!
Squall- TWEENIES? DEAD? JAKE? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
He collapses unconcious to the ground
Red XIII- Ooo, that had to hurt...
----------------------------------------------------------
Squall awoke 15 mins later in the infirmary. [Shit, my head kills]
"Take it easy, you've had a coronary. Though I've never seen it in someone your age before..." Kadowaki said
"uuurrr" he groaned as he rolled over to the left, then cried out in pain as a spring came through the matress and dug into his side.
"AAAHHH!" screamed Squall
"He-He!" Selphie giggled "Enough, enough already!"
"Sp-rungggg!"said Irvy
"Huh?" said Squall, dazed
"You don't have a heart condition." said Kadowaki
"We set you up!" Selphie said "And you fell for it! All of it!"
"Wha-?" said Squall
"He, he, he!" said Rinoa. "I liked the wet hallway bit best!"
"You... shitheads." said Squall
"Sucka!" said Barret
"Huh?" said everybody
"Damn. Wrong set." Barret left
"Oo-kay" Zell said
"There's summit I wanted to say." Squall said. Everyone looked and stared in awe as Squall proceeded to respond to all of the situations thrown at him and speak for the longest period of time known to any Leonhart (that's not hard, considering there's only one. Awwwww.)
(Deep breath...)
"LGWP- Put it out for christs sake! Spit on it, piss on it, whatever!!
Irvy- Throw Zell in there. 5 mins with that guy is enough to kill anybody
Zell- Goto Kwiksave. They sell anything in there.
Quistis- Staple it to your boots then
Xu- Mug the entire population of Esthar for their decks. On second thoughts, that's an order!
Nida- Get your ass onto the bridge before I sack you
Raijin- By a barbie doll, rip hers off and use them
Fujin- Kick me one more time and I'll set Selphie on you
Irvy- Goto the drycleaners
Selphie- Excuse me while I throw up
Seifer- Blow up Timber then you're even.
Cid- Put a 45ft sharp spiky TV ariel on top of Balamb hotel, then jam it up his ass and maybe we'll be able to get channel 5 for once
Edea- Borrow Rinoa's kinky black dress and he'll go ga-ga for you
Rinoa- Can we call it Griever?
Jack- Make it up!
Selphie- Steal Irvine's. On second thoughts...
Zell- I dunno. Ask Quisty
Quistis- Steal it's ship
Diamond- Jump in the fountain
Red XIII- Erm... who the hell are you??!!
Club- Shoot him
Joker- Sue it
Rinoa- Sue Nida. Then spray-paint him pink. It could be funny
Angelo- Woof to you too
Aeris- True
Spade- Pick up the pieces
Cloud- Die the rest black and say you're going Gothic.
ChocoDragon- STOP WRITING THIS FIC AND GET ON WITH IT THEN!!!
[ChocoDragon- Oh, but it's fun!
Squall- Okay, I'll let you off then.
ChocoDragon- Cool!]
Irvine- you owe me 3 gil for it
Zell- You owe me 1000000 gil for it (Author's note- I have no idea in hell how much an amplifier costs, so dont shoot me)
Tifa- I know!. Quit repeating what Zell says and think up your own lines for a change!
Seifer- Make more
Sephiroth- Set him up with Aurora, cos she fancies Iggy, and maybe he'll share his reign of terror with you and let you rule... erm... Esthar.
Quistis- Bash up Ulti again and, maybe like time compression, it'll fix itself
Ulti- Deal with it, Bitch woman spawn of the devil!!!
Zell- Fix my room
Irvine- Tell them I'll be there in 5... you did say girls, right?
Rinoa- 15 gay men will never come between us (Awww!)
Selphie- TWEENIES!? NOOO!!!
He goes to faint again. Rinoa slaps him.
"Thanx"
"Squall" said Quistis "You have a good memory, but we made all that stuff up."
"Oh. That's cool."
"Except... erm... Squall..."
"What?"
"I really have lost the ignition keys to Garden."
"Really?"
"Really."
Squall passed out again before his head hit the pillow.
---------------------------------------------
DUN- DUN- DUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNN!
Has Nida put Squall in a permenant Coma?
Will Selphie and Zell EVER learn the meaning of Sense Junction?
Can Irvine borrow enough money to pay back Squall?
Will Quistis and Rinoa get bigger parts?
Will ChocoDragon fail A/S level chemistry?
Tune in next time to.... erm.... whatever I called this... to not find the answers to these questions, cos I've already written the next 3 parts, and it ain't in any of em. So there.
Oh, and I don't hate any of the cast of FFVIII or VII (Well, those that I've met, cos I'm only 10 hours into FFVII so don't tell me what happens!!) They're just oh so easy to bash! And I don't believe the Time compression thingy either, but thats another story...
Embrace the insanity!
Hyperactive ChocoDragon
xx (erm, does that look kinda dodgy? Cos it shouldn't.)
