DISCLAIMER- Do I have to put one of these on EVERY chapter??!! Hmmm... K' so I don't own any of the characters of FFVIII. Unless the action figures of Squall, Irvy, Quisty, Edea and Zell count. Cos I do own them. Well, one of each anyway. I don't own the company that makes them.

...Oh, man, this is getting messy...

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Hm/wk Induced Insanity pt7- When the dragon's away...

I- Okay, you can stop dragging me now...
(Zell drops Irvine)
I- Ouch!
R- He-He-He...

6 hrs later...
The team are 1/2 way between Timber and Dollet

Sel- Owww... so... sleepy...
Z- Man, we've been walking for hours...
I- (Mental zzzzzzz)
R- My legs hurt. Leg pain!
Q- What? I don't get it. I'm fine.
R- How DOES she do it?
Z- High stamina
(I raises an eyebrow)
(Sel wacks him for it)
Q- NO! High vit stat.
Z- Oh
I- ...could still be interesting...
(R wacks him)
I- Hey! That's Sefie's job!
Sel- 'k!
(Sefie wacks him)
I- Woah! Down, ladies!
(Q goes to wack him, then thinks better of it)

They continue...

Z- Right, that's it!
Sel- I can't walk any more (drags her feet)
Q- (Sighs) Okay, fine, if you bunch of woosies can't sort your junction out... Squall, I think we should rest here... (no answer)... erm... Squall?
(The group look around to see their Commander's collapsed 50m behind them)
Sq- ...pain...
Q- Right, that settles it! (gets out a tent)

Selphie and Irvine are inside the tent holding up the centre support bar. Rinoa, Quistis, Zell and Angelo have each taken a corner. Boco's discovered one of Rinoa's chocolate "therapy" bars and is currently trying to extract it from Squall's left jacket pocket
Q- Okay, Zell, pass over the tent pegs...
Z- I thought you had them...
I- (from inside) Oh, they're in here!
(Lets go of the support bar to get them)
Sel- EEEKKKK!!! (She can't take the weight alone and the tent falls over, taking her and Irvine with it. The centre bar lands on Squall)#
Sq- (wakes up) AHHHH!
Boco- (Looks pissed. The chocolate's squashed.)
Zell- (spreads hands wide) Teamwork, baby!
R- He-he!
Sel- (Shrieks from under the tent) EEKK!!!
I- He, he, he...
(Quisty wacks him with a tent peg)
I- (Pops his head out) Hey!
Sefie- He- he!
Z- WOAH!
R- Huh?
Z- Look (points)

A large... erm... thing stands in front of them

Z- The hell...?
Q- What is that?
I- Dunno.
Z- It's got a dodgy tree thing on it's head!
Q- They look like TV ariels...
Sq- Hmmm... do you think it can get channel 5?
Sel- Channel 5?
R- He- he! We watch the Hercules re- runs!
Sq- And Xena.
I- Man, that girl can beat me up anyday!
Sel- Hmm...
I- Well, like, shouldn't we kill it?
Sel- Isn't that a GF?
Sq- .........
Sel- Hel-lloo??
Sq- ...huh?
Sel- This'd be the point where you say "Who cares? Lets just take it anyway."
Sq- Oh.
Sel- ...... well?
Sq- What?
Sel- SAY IT!!!
Sq- Oh
Sel- ...... grrr...
Sq- What??... What?
Q- Oh, for the ove of...

(CDrag enters thru a vortex in the sky)
CDrag- HEY! C'MON GUYS! WHAT'S THE HOLDUP??!!!
Rin- (points) Wassat??
Z, I and Sel- WASSUP!
Q and Sq- Oh god.
Rin- NO! What's THAT!
I- Oh.
CDrag- What? Of all the stupid... (looks at it)... erm... ah...
Q- Well?
CDrag- ... I dunno. Hm.
Sel- Hey! Aren't you the author?
I- Yeah! You should know these things!
CDrag- Shut it.
Sel- He-he!
CDrag- I'll go look it up. This's bugging me now... (leaves)

Q- Well, that didn't solve anything...
Sq- ... whatever. (rubs his chest where the tent bar hit)
Sel- I'dve thought it was blatently obvious
I- What?
Sel- It appears to be an unidentified mutated creature of large proportions, most likely produced by the warped mind of the author, Cid's smoking in the office and the phenomenon of Lunar Cry.
Sq- Wha??...
Sel- It's simple! You see... (begins scribbling quantum physics formulae into the ground with a twig)
Q- Yeah, whatever (undoes her hair and pulls out a cigarette)
R- Huh? Since when do you smoke?
Q- Stuffit.
I- AHHH! The author's left! No-one's controlling this fic! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIEEEE!!!
Sq- He-he! You sound funny!
Z- Oh come along now, chaps. Gramm-ar, please!
R- (dazed) wow... that... accent... so.. sexy...
Sel- Observe the psycological effect of an overly stressed fake english accent on the female of the species.
Q- (gives Selphie the finger) Observe this!
Boco- Whaa?
Angelo- dah!
I- OH MY GOD! ANGELO'S DAFT! BOCO'S CONFUSED! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIEE!!!
(Angelo tries to scratch her ear and falls over)
Q- Daft fucking mutt (tries to kick Angelo)
Angelo- Yap! Yarooo! Yap! Yarooo! (rolls out of the way)
Sq- Animal cruelty! Child abuse! CHILD ABUSEEE!!!
Boco- (Looks evn more confused) Whaaar?
Sq- mHe-he!
R- (slides away from Zell and over to Squall) that laugh makes me so...
Sel- Oh, the hu-man-ity!
I- IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD! THE END IS NIGH! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIEEE!!!
Q- Shut the fuck up, asshole!
Z- Tut! Language, child, language!
Q- Screw you (throws the lighter at Zell. It misses and hits Squall)
Sq- He-he! I got hit!
R- (wraps her arm around his waist) You mean, hit on!
Q- Oh, for fuck's sake...
Z- Now come along! Everybody speak properly please- "The rain in..." erm... what place rhymes with rain?

(CDrag returns)
Q- Pain. In the arse. Like you, muva fucker!
CDrag- What the hell...
I- WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!! (collapses in a crying heap on the floor)
Sel- His psycological state has been crushed!
Sq- Hah-hah!
R- (pushes Squall back against the cliff face) Shutup and kiss me, you mischevious devil-thing!
A- (backflips) whooo!
Boco- (speaks backwards) Krraaw!!!
Z- Come on everybody! Pish-posh! All together now!...
CDrag- WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!
Sel- Huh?
Z- Woah!
Q- (notices the cigarette and throws it) what on earth?
Sq- (his trousers catch light on the cigarette) AHHH!!! (he beats out the flames)
R- Huh?
Boco- Waarrk!
Angelo- Arf!
I- What the...?
CDrag- I don't BELIEVE this! I leave you guys alone for 5 mins- 5 FRICKIN MINUTES!!!- and look what happens!
Sq- (Wipes the lipstick off his face) But you lost control!
I- Yeah!
CDrag- I had control?
Sel- Only over our personalities
Q- Yeah, and only slightly, 'cos your characterisation's crappy and insanity is impossible to control.
Z- Even with an irregularly shaped stick.
CDrag- Oh.
I- So what about the monster?
Sel- ... Drumroll!... Wel, come on then!
Q- Sorry, I left the MIDI sound effects disk at home
Z- Rats!
CDrag- It's a thingummydody.
R- A what?
CDrag- It doesn't exist. Technically. So I gave it a name. Like it?
I- ... It's... erm...
R- ...very...
Sq- ...technical???
CDrag- Cool! Right, I'm off to sell the rights to it's TT card! C-ya! (Jumps through the vortex)
Z- I call shotgun on a copy!
Sq- Damn...
Q- Never mind. We'll thrash the pants off him to get it afterwards
Sel- He-He!
Z- Hey!

Sq- Right! Shouldn't we deal with the... the... thingummy-woppy-whats-it-called first?
Sel- Thingummydody.
Z- Yeah, pay attention
Sq- ... whatever.
R- It's gone
Q- Huh?
R- The thingummydody. It's gone
I- Oh. Okay then.
Sq- Right. Lets get this tent up then
(All look at each other)
Q- Ah, screw it.
I- Huh? (Does a double take)
Q- I can't be fucked
Z- What the...?
Q- Kidding, kidding. God, it's so easy to mess with you guys! It's not like instructors don't get lazy too.
(All look at each other...
............
............
............
............
... and then collapse)