WHOO-HOOOO!!! I just completed FFVII on the 09/07/01! Yee!...
...
...
... though I did spend the whole fight with Vincent in Death Gigas, Red XIII casting Freeze and Cloud with and Ultima materia paired with Quadra magic...
...
...hmmm...
DISCLAIMER- I DON'T OWN LAGUNA'S CLAN. COS THAT WOULD JUST MAKE MY WEEKENDS EVN WEIRDER THAN THEY ALREAY ARE. PLUS I DON'T THINK THE TOWN WOULD APPRECIATE A MACHINE GUN WEILDING BLOKE WITH LONG HAIR. HMMM...
--------------------------
Hm/wk Induced Insanity 8- President Batman
A group of Esthar officials stand in a room. Official officials. On official business in a round semi-circular room under Esthar Presidential place. In the centre stand 3 men...
Official 1- With all do respect sir, what IS the point in this?
Laguna- Aw, come on! Aren't you having fun?
Official 1- No, not really
Laguna- Oh, well, screw you then
Official 2- Erm, someone remind me why we're 20ft underground in the emergency conference room again?
Laguna- NO! NO! Not conference room! Batcave! B-A-T-C-A-V-E!!!
Kiros- Oh. Is that why we're all dressed as comic book heroes?
Laguna- Yep
Ward- ......
Laguna- Huh?
Kiros- Ward says "Why do I have to be Dr Robotnik? Can't I be a hero not a bad guy?"
Laguna- No, cos I can't think of any fat comic book heroes
Kiros- Oh. And why the hell do you get to be Batman?
Laguna- Cos it's MY batcave
Official 2 (Spiderman)- Hah! You don't even have a funky speedy car!
Laguna- I've got the Ragnarok... no wait, Adel's in space with that... oh great, thanks, now you've ruined it!
Kiros- (to Ward) Remind me to promote that guy
Ward- (Nods)
Official 3- (Dressed as Wolverine) And sir, there is a fat comic book hero- The Incredible HULK
Kiros- But we have no green paint
Ward- (Gives off3 a dodgy look)
Kiros- Oh yeah, and Ward refuses to prance around in his pants cos it's immoral. And cold.
Ward- (Nods)
Official 3- Oh (goes to scratch his forehead and pokes his eye out) Owww!
Laguna- Ha-ha!
Official 2- That's not funny
Laguna- Screw you!
Kiros- (Rolls eyes) Laguna, if you constantly insist on telling the whole of the Estharian senate to "screw it" I think your popularity will reduce...
Laguna- Thank god we don't have elections
Ward- ......
Kiros- He says "Hyne bless Esthar!"
Ward- (Does a double "thumbs up")
Lag- Amen to that!
Kiros- It was your... oh, never mind
Official 1 (He-man)- Right, so erm, why are we here again?
Batman- Oh, yeah! Let's get down to business! Superman!
Kiros- I HAVE a name...
Batman- Kiros, come on!
Superman- (Rolls eyes) Fine... yes Batman?
Batman- Read the mission objectives for this meeting
Superman- What objectives?
Robotnik- (Does Squall's hand-on-face thing)
Batman- The ones I gave you
Superman- When?
Batman- (Rolls eyes) At lunch on Monday! Y'know! I brought jam sandwiches and everything! I put it in the bag with the jam and... oh...
Robotnik- (Slaps Superman)
Superman- Yeah, Ward, I know...
Batman- (Corrects) NO! NOT WARD! R-O-BOT-NIK!!!
Superman- (Sarcasically to Laguna then turns back to Ward) ROBOTNIK, I know you told me not to give jam to Laguna after the J-disaster...
Spiderman- J-disaster? What, a big bombing or summit?
Batman- Bombing? Ha! I can just picture Elle with a rocket launcher! (Puts on voice) Asty-la-wista uncy-guna! BOOM! Goodbye Buchubuchus! KABLAM! Take that, brussel sprouts! KPOW! Bye, bye, maths homework! PISSSHHH!
Robotnik- (Write on paper in big black jumbo marker pen) Roast in hell, 'guna's shoes!
Superman- (Rolls eyes) I fail to see the source of amusement in the image of a 4 yr old weilding a rocket launcher
Batman- Aw, come on! Haven't you seen Elle play Tomb Raider? She's a demon with an M-16!
Spiderman- YOU LET A 4 YR OLD PLAY TOMB RAIDER?!
Batman- Yep
(50000 miles and an alternate dimension away, the head president of ELSPA has a heart attack)
(The blue powerpuff girl enters, followed by the other two)
Batman- Hey, Elle! You came in costume! And you brought friends!
Blue- Whaaa...?
Red- Aw, quit messing with us!
Green- Yeah!
Superman- Huh?
Red- We're here to sort you out!
Batman- But... why? We've done nothing wrong!
Blue- Impersonating heroes!
Green- Yeah!
Batman- Oh. But it's fun!
Red- AND illegal. Ever heard of C-O-P-Y-R-I-G-H-T???
Green- Yeah!
Batman- Oh... y'know Green, you should talk to your agent, cos your lines are worse than Ward's!
Green- ... hey YEAH!
Red- No! Don't listen to the blasphemy!
Blue- Yeah, so you have crap lines, but you still get £3.50 pocket money and a marshmallow in your hot chocolate at night
Green- I GET 30P WAGES! YOU GUYS ARE SO DEAD!!!
Red- Bleep.
(Fight ensues)
Batman- 5 quid on Red!
Robotnik- ...... (writes) 15 on Blue!
Superman- 50 on Green!
(They all look at him)
Superman- What? She's rage-fuelled!
****************************
15 minuites later...
Official 1- (commentating)... and Red socks it to the Green, but she's back, she's ouutttaaaaaa reach! But there's no time to react, as Blue leaps for her with a rusty chainsaw but no- the cable doesn't reach, and shee's doooooowwwnnn! Red goes in for the kill, as Green comes behind her, but what's this? Green is being held back by a black-caped-man...
(Everyone looks at Sephiroth)
Sephiroth- (Shrugs)
(They turn to Batman)
Superman- Hey! He's holding back my fighter! Penalty kick! PENAL-TY KIIICK!
Official 3- (Who's the umpire) Free kick to Green!
(No-one listens. The fight continues)
Red- Hi-ya! (Kicks Blue across the room)
Blue- eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
(Blue crashes into Green as they both smack into the far wall. The wall caves in as Red goes carreering after them, and the trio fly out of sight)
Batman- Oookay... so who won?
Robotnik- (Writes on a huge flashcard that magically appeared outta nowhere) R-E-D
Batman- Yeeesss!!!
Superman- Aw, crap!
And so Batman, President of Esthar, began jumping up and down on the nearby conference table, as everyone who owes him money heads to sneak out thru the door while he's not looking...
...
...
... though I did spend the whole fight with Vincent in Death Gigas, Red XIII casting Freeze and Cloud with and Ultima materia paired with Quadra magic...
...
...hmmm...
DISCLAIMER- I DON'T OWN LAGUNA'S CLAN. COS THAT WOULD JUST MAKE MY WEEKENDS EVN WEIRDER THAN THEY ALREAY ARE. PLUS I DON'T THINK THE TOWN WOULD APPRECIATE A MACHINE GUN WEILDING BLOKE WITH LONG HAIR. HMMM...
--------------------------
Hm/wk Induced Insanity 8- President Batman
A group of Esthar officials stand in a room. Official officials. On official business in a round semi-circular room under Esthar Presidential place. In the centre stand 3 men...
Official 1- With all do respect sir, what IS the point in this?
Laguna- Aw, come on! Aren't you having fun?
Official 1- No, not really
Laguna- Oh, well, screw you then
Official 2- Erm, someone remind me why we're 20ft underground in the emergency conference room again?
Laguna- NO! NO! Not conference room! Batcave! B-A-T-C-A-V-E!!!
Kiros- Oh. Is that why we're all dressed as comic book heroes?
Laguna- Yep
Ward- ......
Laguna- Huh?
Kiros- Ward says "Why do I have to be Dr Robotnik? Can't I be a hero not a bad guy?"
Laguna- No, cos I can't think of any fat comic book heroes
Kiros- Oh. And why the hell do you get to be Batman?
Laguna- Cos it's MY batcave
Official 2 (Spiderman)- Hah! You don't even have a funky speedy car!
Laguna- I've got the Ragnarok... no wait, Adel's in space with that... oh great, thanks, now you've ruined it!
Kiros- (to Ward) Remind me to promote that guy
Ward- (Nods)
Official 3- (Dressed as Wolverine) And sir, there is a fat comic book hero- The Incredible HULK
Kiros- But we have no green paint
Ward- (Gives off3 a dodgy look)
Kiros- Oh yeah, and Ward refuses to prance around in his pants cos it's immoral. And cold.
Ward- (Nods)
Official 3- Oh (goes to scratch his forehead and pokes his eye out) Owww!
Laguna- Ha-ha!
Official 2- That's not funny
Laguna- Screw you!
Kiros- (Rolls eyes) Laguna, if you constantly insist on telling the whole of the Estharian senate to "screw it" I think your popularity will reduce...
Laguna- Thank god we don't have elections
Ward- ......
Kiros- He says "Hyne bless Esthar!"
Ward- (Does a double "thumbs up")
Lag- Amen to that!
Kiros- It was your... oh, never mind
Official 1 (He-man)- Right, so erm, why are we here again?
Batman- Oh, yeah! Let's get down to business! Superman!
Kiros- I HAVE a name...
Batman- Kiros, come on!
Superman- (Rolls eyes) Fine... yes Batman?
Batman- Read the mission objectives for this meeting
Superman- What objectives?
Robotnik- (Does Squall's hand-on-face thing)
Batman- The ones I gave you
Superman- When?
Batman- (Rolls eyes) At lunch on Monday! Y'know! I brought jam sandwiches and everything! I put it in the bag with the jam and... oh...
Robotnik- (Slaps Superman)
Superman- Yeah, Ward, I know...
Batman- (Corrects) NO! NOT WARD! R-O-BOT-NIK!!!
Superman- (Sarcasically to Laguna then turns back to Ward) ROBOTNIK, I know you told me not to give jam to Laguna after the J-disaster...
Spiderman- J-disaster? What, a big bombing or summit?
Batman- Bombing? Ha! I can just picture Elle with a rocket launcher! (Puts on voice) Asty-la-wista uncy-guna! BOOM! Goodbye Buchubuchus! KABLAM! Take that, brussel sprouts! KPOW! Bye, bye, maths homework! PISSSHHH!
Robotnik- (Write on paper in big black jumbo marker pen) Roast in hell, 'guna's shoes!
Superman- (Rolls eyes) I fail to see the source of amusement in the image of a 4 yr old weilding a rocket launcher
Batman- Aw, come on! Haven't you seen Elle play Tomb Raider? She's a demon with an M-16!
Spiderman- YOU LET A 4 YR OLD PLAY TOMB RAIDER?!
Batman- Yep
(50000 miles and an alternate dimension away, the head president of ELSPA has a heart attack)
(The blue powerpuff girl enters, followed by the other two)
Batman- Hey, Elle! You came in costume! And you brought friends!
Blue- Whaaa...?
Red- Aw, quit messing with us!
Green- Yeah!
Superman- Huh?
Red- We're here to sort you out!
Batman- But... why? We've done nothing wrong!
Blue- Impersonating heroes!
Green- Yeah!
Batman- Oh. But it's fun!
Red- AND illegal. Ever heard of C-O-P-Y-R-I-G-H-T???
Green- Yeah!
Batman- Oh... y'know Green, you should talk to your agent, cos your lines are worse than Ward's!
Green- ... hey YEAH!
Red- No! Don't listen to the blasphemy!
Blue- Yeah, so you have crap lines, but you still get £3.50 pocket money and a marshmallow in your hot chocolate at night
Green- I GET 30P WAGES! YOU GUYS ARE SO DEAD!!!
Red- Bleep.
(Fight ensues)
Batman- 5 quid on Red!
Robotnik- ...... (writes) 15 on Blue!
Superman- 50 on Green!
(They all look at him)
Superman- What? She's rage-fuelled!
****************************
15 minuites later...
Official 1- (commentating)... and Red socks it to the Green, but she's back, she's ouutttaaaaaa reach! But there's no time to react, as Blue leaps for her with a rusty chainsaw but no- the cable doesn't reach, and shee's doooooowwwnnn! Red goes in for the kill, as Green comes behind her, but what's this? Green is being held back by a black-caped-man...
(Everyone looks at Sephiroth)
Sephiroth- (Shrugs)
(They turn to Batman)
Superman- Hey! He's holding back my fighter! Penalty kick! PENAL-TY KIIICK!
Official 3- (Who's the umpire) Free kick to Green!
(No-one listens. The fight continues)
Red- Hi-ya! (Kicks Blue across the room)
Blue- eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
(Blue crashes into Green as they both smack into the far wall. The wall caves in as Red goes carreering after them, and the trio fly out of sight)
Batman- Oookay... so who won?
Robotnik- (Writes on a huge flashcard that magically appeared outta nowhere) R-E-D
Batman- Yeeesss!!!
Superman- Aw, crap!
And so Batman, President of Esthar, began jumping up and down on the nearby conference table, as everyone who owes him money heads to sneak out thru the door while he's not looking...
