Woah, it's been a while, huh? See I do most of my typing in my frees @ school, and as we've been out for the summer, nothing's got typed for a while. Ahhh! Well, neway, here's pt 9 of what looks to be a 15 part...erm...thingy...and...erm...10's coming soon. I hope. And 11. When I've written it. Yeah.
I was gonna write summit else here, but I've forgotten what. Hmm...
DISCLAIMER- SEE PREVIOUS CHAPTERS, COS I'M TOO DAMNED LAZY TO TYPE I OUT AGAIN. SO THERE.
------------------
Hm/wk Induced Insanity 9- Hyne, those were the golden days...
Sq- Huh?
Sel- Hey there!
(Squall gets up to find that he's soaked)
Sq- ... The Hell?
I- Well, remember we didn't put that tent up?
Sq- Yeah
I- Well, em, it kinda...
Q- Let's just say we found a word that rhymes with rain
Z- Galbadian plain
Sel- Hey! That's cheating!
R- (Whispers to Selphie) Shhh! It took them HOURS to come up with that!
Sel- Oh
Q- ...dammit!
Z- Aw man! Now we gotta start again!
R- (To Selphie) Gee, thanks Selphie
Sel- Oops
Q- Let's see... rain
Z- ...gain
R- A-gain
Z- ...drain
Q- Pain... in the arse I mean
R- Huh?
Q- Sorry. I think part of my alter-ego remained
R- Oh
Sel- So now what? I'm soaked!
Boco- Waark!
Q- Maybe we should just head to Dollet. The atmosphere there is so dull that we'll dry off in seconds
I- Oh, okay then
----------------------------
(The gang reach Dollet)
Z- Here we are, Dollet!
(Selphie collapses with exhaustion)
Sel- Leg pain! Owees!
(The friendly dog runs over and, erm, begins to take an interest in Sefie's leg)
Sel- Ew! Ew! Worse leg pain! Worse leg pain!
(I raises an eyebrow)
(R wacks him for it)
Angelo- Grrrrrrrr....growl gr graw gr grr grr!
(Which, had the others been able to speak dog, would have sounded something like "You two-timing double-crossing bastard!)
Dollet dawg- Grr, gre, grr arf grr woof gr arf!
(Which would have meant "But baby, it's not how it looks, I swear!)
Angelo- Grr-aroooooooooooooo!
(Which, loosely translated, means "Screw you!")
Dollet dawg- Arf! (Meaning "Shit!", which was exactly what he was in as the killer sorceress's partner charged her rush limit break and chased the two timing canine off the edge of the docks)
Z- Hah! Sucka!
R- I taught her that! (Proudly) She used to chase my ex's down the railtracks and into the sea back in Timber!
(Squall was forced to laugh at the mental image of Seifer pegging it down Mandy beach with a hyperactive vengeful canine hot on his heels)
Boco- Waarrk! (because he hadn't said anything for a while)
Q- So now what?
Sq- We'll split up. Selphie and...
I- Look, we know the drill alright?
Sel- Know the drill? Is it friendly then?
(Sq wacks himself in the face)
Sel- ... because if it's a nice drill can you ask if it wants to help in the Garden Festival, cos I swear we have too much MDF and... hey... where'd everybody go?... guys?......guys?
----------------------------------------------------------
Squall and Rinoa head to the pub. (Being clever, I guess)
Bar guy- GOD, you again! What did I tell you?
R- Aren't you the guy from Timber?
Bar guy- Yeah. Squaresoft couldn't afford to hire more than 1 bar guy, so I do it worldwide, which means that little retards like you can't sneak in.
Sq- ...damn... look, that's not why we're here.
Bar guy- Oh really?
Sq- We're looking for some keys...
Bar guy- We don't sell keys. Try the keycutters shop.
Sq- That's not what I meant. We've lost...
Bar guy- I don't give a rat's ass what you've lost, so bugger off and piss someone else off for a change, okay?!!!
Sq- ... this's getting us nowhere...
"'cuse me"
(Sq turns. It's the transvestite bloke again)
Tv- You like me, don't you?
Sq- ... Not really
Tv- Ha! You lair, you! Why do the cute ones always lie?!
Sq- No, seriously, I don't like you.
Tv- Oh come on! Why not?
(Squall thought of mentioning the distasteful pink cerise sequin number with matching stilettos and blue contrast hat that looked suspiciously like a sun panel from FH, but decided to go with the more obvious answer.)
Sq- Cos you're a bloke.
Tv- Oh well. Nothing ventured, nothing gained!
(He rips off the blond wig and the sequin dress to reveal a tight Hawaiian T-shirt and black Bermuda shorts)
Tv- (To R) Hi there!
R- Don't touch me!
Tv- Anyway you want it, baby!
-----------------------------------------
Irvine + Selphie walk past the outside of the grandpa's house. In the background, a familiar man in a Hawaiian shirt is seen, pegging it down the road chased by a black and brown canine
R- (Shrieks) GET HIM!!!
(She legs it after them, followed by Squall)
I- Ooo-kay, then...
(I+S enter the house. A boy sits in the centre of the room wearing a black binbag, red sunglasses and green lycra leggings)
Sel- Hey there, little kid!
Kid- (Whispers) hello.
I- Look, erm, kid, I just wanted to know, have you seen any keys anywhere?
Kid- ...no
Sel- Oh, are your mummy and Daddy around?
Kid- ...grandpa is
Sel- Oh! Do you know where he is?
Kid- ...yes
I- Erm... where is he? Can you get him for us?
Kid- (Leaps up) YES, FOR I AM SUPERDUDE, FIGHTER OF GALACTIC EVIL, DEFENDER OF SOLVADOR, AND HELPER OF THE HELPLESS!!!
I- ...Aw, geez!
(The kid heads for the door, stops and shouts at the top of his lungs)
Kid- SUPERDUDE CALLING GRANDPA! 2 CIVILIANS WANT HELP, AND SUPERDUDE NEEDS YOOOUUU!!! (Turns to Sel + I) I'm off to save the world!!! (Leaves)
I- (Quietly) Been there, done that...
(The kid's Grandpa walks down the stairs)
Grandpa- Oh god, not again! If I hear Superdud one more time...
Sel- Dude. Super-DUDE. It's dude, right? D-U-D-E, get it? Dude. Dude. Okay?
(I gives her a strange look)
I- Ummm... what my little friend here is trying to say is we were wondering if you could help us...
Grandpa- Yeah, sure! Shoot!
(I shrugs and reaches for Exeter. Sefie slaps him, followed by a disapproving look)
Sel- See, some friends of ours were out on a pubcrawl...
Grandpa- Tut! Young whippersnappers!
Sel- ...yeah...sure...well anyway they lost a set of keys...
Grandpa- (Tuts!)
Sel- ...(Slightly miffed) They're VERY important, and we kind of need to know if they came here 'cos we're following their trail to see if we can find where they left them and...
Grandpa- Why, useless generation! In my day, people wore keys on a strong, sturdy chain around the neck, or some had a bit of ribbon...
I- (Whispers to Sel) Oh, here we go...
Grandpa- ...losing keys was considered to be stupid. Hah! I remember this one boy at school who...
-------------------------
1 Hour later...
(Quistis and Zell are sitting on the edge of the fountain. Boco's jumping about between the jets of water)
Z- Hah, look at him go!
Q- He looks so cute when he's soaked.
Z- So, like, should we look for these keys now?
Q- (Looks thoughtful) Hmmm...okay.
(Z+Q both finish the Sugarside chocolate milkshake they'd brought an hour ago and stood to go to the docks where they arranged to meet the others.)
---------------------------
(They get to the docks. No-ones there)
Z- ...The Hell??!!
"HEY, UP HERE!!!"
(The duo look up to see a guy in a Hawaiian shirt clinging to the top of a telegraph pole)
Z- Uh... hi?
Tv- Is that...THING gone yet?
Q- What thing?
Tv- That...that dog!
Z- Uh...(looks left + right)...yep!
Tv- Phew! (Jumps down) Thanks! (Starts to walk off, then stops) Hmm...would either of you happen to be looking for a companion for the evening?
Z- WHAT!!??
Tv- I'm very friendly, honest!
(Squall appears)
Sq- HEY!!! (whistles)
Tv- AHHHH!!!
(Angelo appears and chases the guy back up the pole)
Q- Huh?
Sq- He started hitting on Rinoa
Q- Oh.
(Rinoa appears)
R- Hey guys! Find anything?
Z- Erm...no. You?
(R shakes her head)
Sq- Well...lets find Irvine and Selphie and see if they had any luck.
-------------
(The gang wander around the town for a while, ending up at Grandpa's house)
Grandpa- ...and they had bronze keys, which opened the locks on the docks, but they were kind of heavy. Knew a Fastitocalon who swallowed on once. Mean beast that was...
(Irvine and Selphie are lying against each other against one wall of the room)
Sel- ...so...bored...sleepy...
Z- Aw, geez!
Sq- (Taps the man on the shoulder) Erm, excuse me...
Grandpa- (Stops and looks @ Squall) Hello, are you here for the painting?
Sq- Um...no... have you seen these people (shows a photo 2 very familiar garden students taken in a photo booth with a giant inflatable Glacial Eye chained to a car door with a pair of handcuffs)
Z- Wait a min...you had a photo all along?
Sq- Nah. (Points outside) I found it behind a dumpster.
Q- What were you...
(Rinoa looks skyward innocently)
Q- ...never mind
Grandpa- Hmm...now let me see...I had a passport photo once. I think I had it on my driver's licence. Or was it my passport...
Sel- (Whines) No! Not again!
I- Run! Save Yourselves!
(Superdude returns)
Kid- YAY! AND THE WORLD IS SAVED FROM THE EVIL CLUTCHES OF DR MEGATRON ONCE AGAIN BY SUPERDUDE! DUN-D-D-DUUNNNN!!!
Sq- Erm...okay... (shows kid the photo) Have you seen these people recently?
Kid- YES! SUPERDUDE HELPED THESE TWO CIVILIANS LAST WEEK! HE TAUGHT THEM HOW TO WALK AGAIN!
Sq- (Over shoulder to Zell) Translation...
Z- They were legless.
Sq- (Nods in acknowledgement)
Q- Do you know where they went next?
Kid- YES! SUPERDUDE TOOK THEM BY EXPRESS TRAIN TO THE BIG CITY OF LIGHTS, RULED BY THE EVIL DR MEGATRON AND HIS GALACTIC ARMY!
(Squall looks to Zell again)
Z- Deling City
Sq- Oh.
Kid- THEY ARE NOW SUPERDUDE'S SIDEKICK REBEL FORCE WHO WILL VANQUISH THE WORLD OF EVIL! HELP THEM! JOIN US!
Sq- Uh...yeah, whatever.
Kid- WHOO-HOO!!! YEAH! NOW GO FORTH, AND RID THE WORLD OF INTERGALACTIC EVIL!
(The gang look awkwardly at each other and turn to leave. Zell makes a "crazy" sign by spinning his right hand round his ear. Quistis delivers a sharp kick to Irvine's leg, who jumps awake and trudges out of the room, followed by a weary Selphie.)
Grandpa- ...and my bus pass had a photograph, Hyne, those were the golden days of photography, when they did them in black and white, and colour, and always appreciate the value of a photograph, because you never know when...(rambles on to himself as the credits for pt 9 roll...)
I was gonna write summit else here, but I've forgotten what. Hmm...
DISCLAIMER- SEE PREVIOUS CHAPTERS, COS I'M TOO DAMNED LAZY TO TYPE I OUT AGAIN. SO THERE.
------------------
Hm/wk Induced Insanity 9- Hyne, those were the golden days...
Sq- Huh?
Sel- Hey there!
(Squall gets up to find that he's soaked)
Sq- ... The Hell?
I- Well, remember we didn't put that tent up?
Sq- Yeah
I- Well, em, it kinda...
Q- Let's just say we found a word that rhymes with rain
Z- Galbadian plain
Sel- Hey! That's cheating!
R- (Whispers to Selphie) Shhh! It took them HOURS to come up with that!
Sel- Oh
Q- ...dammit!
Z- Aw man! Now we gotta start again!
R- (To Selphie) Gee, thanks Selphie
Sel- Oops
Q- Let's see... rain
Z- ...gain
R- A-gain
Z- ...drain
Q- Pain... in the arse I mean
R- Huh?
Q- Sorry. I think part of my alter-ego remained
R- Oh
Sel- So now what? I'm soaked!
Boco- Waark!
Q- Maybe we should just head to Dollet. The atmosphere there is so dull that we'll dry off in seconds
I- Oh, okay then
----------------------------
(The gang reach Dollet)
Z- Here we are, Dollet!
(Selphie collapses with exhaustion)
Sel- Leg pain! Owees!
(The friendly dog runs over and, erm, begins to take an interest in Sefie's leg)
Sel- Ew! Ew! Worse leg pain! Worse leg pain!
(I raises an eyebrow)
(R wacks him for it)
Angelo- Grrrrrrrr....growl gr graw gr grr grr!
(Which, had the others been able to speak dog, would have sounded something like "You two-timing double-crossing bastard!)
Dollet dawg- Grr, gre, grr arf grr woof gr arf!
(Which would have meant "But baby, it's not how it looks, I swear!)
Angelo- Grr-aroooooooooooooo!
(Which, loosely translated, means "Screw you!")
Dollet dawg- Arf! (Meaning "Shit!", which was exactly what he was in as the killer sorceress's partner charged her rush limit break and chased the two timing canine off the edge of the docks)
Z- Hah! Sucka!
R- I taught her that! (Proudly) She used to chase my ex's down the railtracks and into the sea back in Timber!
(Squall was forced to laugh at the mental image of Seifer pegging it down Mandy beach with a hyperactive vengeful canine hot on his heels)
Boco- Waarrk! (because he hadn't said anything for a while)
Q- So now what?
Sq- We'll split up. Selphie and...
I- Look, we know the drill alright?
Sel- Know the drill? Is it friendly then?
(Sq wacks himself in the face)
Sel- ... because if it's a nice drill can you ask if it wants to help in the Garden Festival, cos I swear we have too much MDF and... hey... where'd everybody go?... guys?......guys?
----------------------------------------------------------
Squall and Rinoa head to the pub. (Being clever, I guess)
Bar guy- GOD, you again! What did I tell you?
R- Aren't you the guy from Timber?
Bar guy- Yeah. Squaresoft couldn't afford to hire more than 1 bar guy, so I do it worldwide, which means that little retards like you can't sneak in.
Sq- ...damn... look, that's not why we're here.
Bar guy- Oh really?
Sq- We're looking for some keys...
Bar guy- We don't sell keys. Try the keycutters shop.
Sq- That's not what I meant. We've lost...
Bar guy- I don't give a rat's ass what you've lost, so bugger off and piss someone else off for a change, okay?!!!
Sq- ... this's getting us nowhere...
"'cuse me"
(Sq turns. It's the transvestite bloke again)
Tv- You like me, don't you?
Sq- ... Not really
Tv- Ha! You lair, you! Why do the cute ones always lie?!
Sq- No, seriously, I don't like you.
Tv- Oh come on! Why not?
(Squall thought of mentioning the distasteful pink cerise sequin number with matching stilettos and blue contrast hat that looked suspiciously like a sun panel from FH, but decided to go with the more obvious answer.)
Sq- Cos you're a bloke.
Tv- Oh well. Nothing ventured, nothing gained!
(He rips off the blond wig and the sequin dress to reveal a tight Hawaiian T-shirt and black Bermuda shorts)
Tv- (To R) Hi there!
R- Don't touch me!
Tv- Anyway you want it, baby!
-----------------------------------------
Irvine + Selphie walk past the outside of the grandpa's house. In the background, a familiar man in a Hawaiian shirt is seen, pegging it down the road chased by a black and brown canine
R- (Shrieks) GET HIM!!!
(She legs it after them, followed by Squall)
I- Ooo-kay, then...
(I+S enter the house. A boy sits in the centre of the room wearing a black binbag, red sunglasses and green lycra leggings)
Sel- Hey there, little kid!
Kid- (Whispers) hello.
I- Look, erm, kid, I just wanted to know, have you seen any keys anywhere?
Kid- ...no
Sel- Oh, are your mummy and Daddy around?
Kid- ...grandpa is
Sel- Oh! Do you know where he is?
Kid- ...yes
I- Erm... where is he? Can you get him for us?
Kid- (Leaps up) YES, FOR I AM SUPERDUDE, FIGHTER OF GALACTIC EVIL, DEFENDER OF SOLVADOR, AND HELPER OF THE HELPLESS!!!
I- ...Aw, geez!
(The kid heads for the door, stops and shouts at the top of his lungs)
Kid- SUPERDUDE CALLING GRANDPA! 2 CIVILIANS WANT HELP, AND SUPERDUDE NEEDS YOOOUUU!!! (Turns to Sel + I) I'm off to save the world!!! (Leaves)
I- (Quietly) Been there, done that...
(The kid's Grandpa walks down the stairs)
Grandpa- Oh god, not again! If I hear Superdud one more time...
Sel- Dude. Super-DUDE. It's dude, right? D-U-D-E, get it? Dude. Dude. Okay?
(I gives her a strange look)
I- Ummm... what my little friend here is trying to say is we were wondering if you could help us...
Grandpa- Yeah, sure! Shoot!
(I shrugs and reaches for Exeter. Sefie slaps him, followed by a disapproving look)
Sel- See, some friends of ours were out on a pubcrawl...
Grandpa- Tut! Young whippersnappers!
Sel- ...yeah...sure...well anyway they lost a set of keys...
Grandpa- (Tuts!)
Sel- ...(Slightly miffed) They're VERY important, and we kind of need to know if they came here 'cos we're following their trail to see if we can find where they left them and...
Grandpa- Why, useless generation! In my day, people wore keys on a strong, sturdy chain around the neck, or some had a bit of ribbon...
I- (Whispers to Sel) Oh, here we go...
Grandpa- ...losing keys was considered to be stupid. Hah! I remember this one boy at school who...
-------------------------
1 Hour later...
(Quistis and Zell are sitting on the edge of the fountain. Boco's jumping about between the jets of water)
Z- Hah, look at him go!
Q- He looks so cute when he's soaked.
Z- So, like, should we look for these keys now?
Q- (Looks thoughtful) Hmmm...okay.
(Z+Q both finish the Sugarside chocolate milkshake they'd brought an hour ago and stood to go to the docks where they arranged to meet the others.)
---------------------------
(They get to the docks. No-ones there)
Z- ...The Hell??!!
"HEY, UP HERE!!!"
(The duo look up to see a guy in a Hawaiian shirt clinging to the top of a telegraph pole)
Z- Uh... hi?
Tv- Is that...THING gone yet?
Q- What thing?
Tv- That...that dog!
Z- Uh...(looks left + right)...yep!
Tv- Phew! (Jumps down) Thanks! (Starts to walk off, then stops) Hmm...would either of you happen to be looking for a companion for the evening?
Z- WHAT!!??
Tv- I'm very friendly, honest!
(Squall appears)
Sq- HEY!!! (whistles)
Tv- AHHHH!!!
(Angelo appears and chases the guy back up the pole)
Q- Huh?
Sq- He started hitting on Rinoa
Q- Oh.
(Rinoa appears)
R- Hey guys! Find anything?
Z- Erm...no. You?
(R shakes her head)
Sq- Well...lets find Irvine and Selphie and see if they had any luck.
-------------
(The gang wander around the town for a while, ending up at Grandpa's house)
Grandpa- ...and they had bronze keys, which opened the locks on the docks, but they were kind of heavy. Knew a Fastitocalon who swallowed on once. Mean beast that was...
(Irvine and Selphie are lying against each other against one wall of the room)
Sel- ...so...bored...sleepy...
Z- Aw, geez!
Sq- (Taps the man on the shoulder) Erm, excuse me...
Grandpa- (Stops and looks @ Squall) Hello, are you here for the painting?
Sq- Um...no... have you seen these people (shows a photo 2 very familiar garden students taken in a photo booth with a giant inflatable Glacial Eye chained to a car door with a pair of handcuffs)
Z- Wait a min...you had a photo all along?
Sq- Nah. (Points outside) I found it behind a dumpster.
Q- What were you...
(Rinoa looks skyward innocently)
Q- ...never mind
Grandpa- Hmm...now let me see...I had a passport photo once. I think I had it on my driver's licence. Or was it my passport...
Sel- (Whines) No! Not again!
I- Run! Save Yourselves!
(Superdude returns)
Kid- YAY! AND THE WORLD IS SAVED FROM THE EVIL CLUTCHES OF DR MEGATRON ONCE AGAIN BY SUPERDUDE! DUN-D-D-DUUNNNN!!!
Sq- Erm...okay... (shows kid the photo) Have you seen these people recently?
Kid- YES! SUPERDUDE HELPED THESE TWO CIVILIANS LAST WEEK! HE TAUGHT THEM HOW TO WALK AGAIN!
Sq- (Over shoulder to Zell) Translation...
Z- They were legless.
Sq- (Nods in acknowledgement)
Q- Do you know where they went next?
Kid- YES! SUPERDUDE TOOK THEM BY EXPRESS TRAIN TO THE BIG CITY OF LIGHTS, RULED BY THE EVIL DR MEGATRON AND HIS GALACTIC ARMY!
(Squall looks to Zell again)
Z- Deling City
Sq- Oh.
Kid- THEY ARE NOW SUPERDUDE'S SIDEKICK REBEL FORCE WHO WILL VANQUISH THE WORLD OF EVIL! HELP THEM! JOIN US!
Sq- Uh...yeah, whatever.
Kid- WHOO-HOO!!! YEAH! NOW GO FORTH, AND RID THE WORLD OF INTERGALACTIC EVIL!
(The gang look awkwardly at each other and turn to leave. Zell makes a "crazy" sign by spinning his right hand round his ear. Quistis delivers a sharp kick to Irvine's leg, who jumps awake and trudges out of the room, followed by a weary Selphie.)
Grandpa- ...and my bus pass had a photograph, Hyne, those were the golden days of photography, when they did them in black and white, and colour, and always appreciate the value of a photograph, because you never know when...(rambles on to himself as the credits for pt 9 roll...)
