DISCLAIMER- I DO NOT OWN FFVIII OR IT'S CHARACTERS, WHICH ALL BELONG TO THE GOD THAT IS SQUARESOFT. I ALSO DON'T OWN ANY TOURIST ATTRACTIONS OF ANY KIND (UNLESS YOU COUNT A BLU-TAC MODEL OF CLOUD STRIFE AS A TOURIST ATTRACTION, IN WHICH CASE I DO OWN THAT. BUT I DON'T OWN THE CHARACTER CLOUD STRIFE, OTHERWISE I WOULDN'T BE AS SKINT AS A POT OF CHRISTMAS-FLOWERING CACTI IN SPRING). AS FOR TEAR'S POINT, ASK THE ESTHARIAN TOURIST INFORMATION BOARD AND THEY MAY SEND YOU AN INFORMATION PACK! I ALSO DON'T OWN ANY SUGAR, OTHERWISE I WOULD'NT HAVE BEEN DRINKING BLACK COFFEE THIS MORNING AS, INCEDENTLY, I DON'T OWN ANY MILK EITHER. THAT FACT IS COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT TO THIS FIC BUT I WOULD LIKE TO DIRECT AN OFFICIAL APOLOGY TO THE BIC BIRO THAT I DROPPED IN IT THIS MORNING. SO, UM, SORRY, FAVOURITE BIRO!!!

Man, that's gotta be the longest disclaimer ever... I have waaaaay too much free time today...

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Hm/wk induced insanity 10- The Goblin of Gil

The gang are 1/2 way to Deling City
Z- Dammit, why didn't we take the train again?
Sq- Cos we're broke.
Z- Oh... Hyne dammit!
R- (Whispers to Irvy) So like, I was thinking... do you think we have the slightest chance of finding these keys? I mean, we don't know where they went, how long they were there or anything!
I- Hell, no.
R- THEN WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING THIS FOR???!!!
I- All expenses paid vacation. We travel the world, and BG foots the bill!
R- Cool!
Q- I HEARD THAT!
I- (gulp)
Q- ... so who's for spending a week in the Costa-del-sol while we're at it?
I- (phew!)
Z- Uh, Quisty, that's not in this game.
Q- ...ah, damn!
Sel- Hey, yeah! And we don't get any theme parks, Chocobo racing or Motorcycle chases either! No fair!
Sq- (Looks devious) Chocobo racing, huh?...
-----------

15 mins later...
Z- Ready...set...GO!!!
(Boco and Angelo speed off around the perimeter of Galbadia garden's base. Cheering and screaming is heard)
R- Hey, where'd all these spectators come from?
Sephiroth- (shrugs)
Sel- Hey, where did you come from?
I- Yeah, you keep showing up.
Sephiroth- I guess they didn't fix that inter-sequel barrier thing yet.
Q- Oh.
Z- And the winner is... BOCO!!!
(Several groans are heard from the audience. Boco jumps up and down with joy as Angelo stares at the little yellow thing in disbelief. Selphie belts out the tune of "A Great Success" with a pair of nunchucks and a sledgehammer whilst Quistis sorts out who owes who money.)
I- So, like, how did we do?
Q- (Looks thoughtful) Well, considering the fact that 80% of what we got in had to go on the winnings...
Sq- ...well?...
Q- ...we made a profit of 3 gil and a Funguar card.
Z- 3 gil!! 20% was 3 gil!!!???
Q- Well, maybe if Rinoa hadn't been left at the desk...
R- Hey! That wasn't my fault! (Flicks hair over shoulder) No-one told me that we don't give refunds.
Sq- (Does the hand-on-face thing) And who the HELL accepted a level **??** TT card anyway?
Z- (Dancing around the field) YES! FINALLY THE CARD IS MINE! TO BE A TT MASTER IS MY DESTINY!
R- Oh god, here we go again..
Z- ...I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST...
Sq+Q- (Together) Fat chance!
Z- =:(
Sq- %P
Z- =:|
Sel- )
(:o
)
Sq- %s (Oh, I'm REALLY scared...)
I- Ookay...so now what?
Sq- Well... we're broke, in the middle of nowhere with 3 gil and a Funguar card... I think there's only one thing for it...
(All look at him)
Sq- ...I think we all need a part-time job.
Z- AHHHH!!!
Q- No wait...
...
...
There. Okay, let's go.
Sel- What?
Q- My salary just came in
Z- Oh right... hey yeah, how do they deliver that stuff anyway?
Sel- The Goblin of Gil.
(All laugh)
Sel- No, seriously! There's a little invisible imp that flies around with peoples paychecks, delivering them to all the SeeD's worldwide.
Z- Hah! That's the stupidest thing I've heard all day!
Q- Except for Rinoa's...
R- Shut it.
Sel- Oh no! You mustn't let him know you don't believe or he'll steal something off you to compensate.
Z- Yeah, right, and I'm the Easter Mog and... NOOO! MY TT CARD!
Sel- Told ya!
Z- NOOOOO-OO-OO-OOOO!!! (Breaks down in sobs on the floor)
I- There, there (crouches down. Flashes his hand behind his back to Selphie concealing a TT card. Selphie smiles + winks.)

Q- Oh bugger...
Sq- What?
Q- The map... I lost the map...
(I+Z stop)
Z- You lost the map?
Q- Yep.
I- She kicked it in the fucking creek!
Sel- We're all gonna die!!!
R- Yeah, yeah, enough with the Blair Witch project already
Sq- ...blair...witch... (fear) oh god...
Q- Look, this is NOT the Blair Witch project. For starters, we don't have a video camera...
(Selphie conceals the digicam behind her back)
Q- ... or a torch...
(Irvine buries the "I did Tear's Point" light-up souvenir keyring fast)
Q- ...or tents... OH MY GOD WE'RE SCREWED!!!
All- AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Boco- WAAAAAAAAA!!!
Angelo- ARRRRRRRRRRF!!!