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"Friend Legolas," said Gimli, as they tramped through twig and fern,
"There lately are so many things that cause me grave concern."
"Pray tell, friend Gimli," quoth the elf, "what's troubling your heart?
I'm hoping you're not moping over one more elvish tart.
Alas, Lady Galadriel has long ago set sail
For distant shores unreachable by courier or mail."
"Och no," replied the bearded dwarf, tears glistening in his eyes,
"The tarts were never half as tasty as them elvish pies
Which wrecked m' dwarvish stomach, not my heart. You were mistaken.
And so was I, for it was Celeborn who did the bakin'."
Legolas stared in surprise. "My dear old chum, you jest!
Lord Celeborn a pastry chef? I never would've guessed."
"Back to my fears," coughed Gimli, "more distressing than the Rings
Of power; more contentious than a Balrog sporting wings!"
"Balrogs," shuddered Legolas. "That does remind me, Gim...
Was Rivendell's Glorfindel the same one as Gondolin's?"
"Let's not digress," said Gloin's son. " 'Tis idle speculation
Which puts me in this nasty state of nervous irritation.
We're the topic that myopic fans in chatrooms love debating!
They're betting that we're getting up to stuff with an X-rating!
We can't walk through a forest without rumours in full force!
I get such funny looks when I say we once shared a horse!"
"And what a nice ride too," recalled the elf. "What is the fuss?
It's lucky there was room on Arod for the both of us."
"I can't be late without a snide remark on how I've tarried!
And every ruddy relative asks when I'm getting married!"
The dwarf raised up a hobnailed boot and stamped upon the ground.
(The hobbits living nearby thought their roof was falling down.)
The honeyed light of afternoon shone through the slim-boughed trees;
And young leaves trembled, hesitant, upon the cooling breeze.
The Silvan elf smiled to the dwarf, " 'Tis fated to be so,
Between two races thus estranged, misunderstandings grow.
In times of strife, in times of fear, I found in you a friend
With whom I would pass times of joy until the world should end.
And such is my good fortune. If no other can perceive
This friendship's worth, that is their loss. So need, then, to grieve
O'er truths obscured, and stinging jibes, and tales that men believe."
"Wise Legolas," bowed Gimli, "you have set my mind at ease.
I must admit I lose my cool with tossers spreading sleaze,
Out comes m' trusty axe - off go their legs just at the knees."
"Uh, right," sighed Legolas. "Well Gimli, quickly moving on...
We're ambling even slower than the average Oxford don."
They strolled in silence for awhile, contentment on their faces,
Watched by a horde of newbie fans from various hiding places,
(With camouflage-print cardigans, and looking slightly blue,
From lack of air, and lack of sleep, and lack of things to do;
All wrestling each other, hoping for a better view).
"I do declare," said Legolas, "I've said all I can say.
Do you suppose we'll find repose and speak in prose today?"
Growled Gimli, "There's one way to kick this puffy rhyming talk.
You get your bow, I'll get my axe. Let's go and hunt some orc!"
"Smashing idea, Gimmers," said Legolas, and proceeded to peel an orange.
"I say, if you were a girlie, I'd fancy the socks off you."
AlexeCinz |