Chapter 16
They were alive. Tom, Rachel, and Ax were alive. I did not kill them. Cassie had saved them. Thank God for Cassie. I felt awkward around her though. I knew that she still loved me, after all, she had come to a new galaxy for me. I still felt as though there was a wall between us though. I knew she would take me back if I just tried, and the wall was of my making, not hers, but I was still unsure.
It had been a long day, so after we caught up on the past few months, and years when we were talking to Tom and Rachel, and made all the necessary introductions, we retired to our rooms to sleep. However, we kept the opening between the two ships open so that we could commute freely. Yahal and Menderash had stayed awake to watch the ships. I fixed my bed with the covers together; I had kicked them off the night before. I started to pull off my shirt so I could change into my nightclothes, but there was a knock on my door. I opened it, and saw Tom standing there.
"Hey, Midget," he said. "Mind if I come in? I need to talk to you."
I nodded that yes, he could come in. I was so thrilled that he was back, there was little I would not let him do, or do for him. "What's up?" I asked.
"It's Cassie."
I sucked in a breath. I was not sure I wanted to hear what he was going to say.
"She really does care for you, you know that, don't you?"
"Yeah, of course I do. She came across the galaxy and into another one for me, for all of us."
Tom looked at me. Despite myself, I started to laugh. He used to be four years older than me, but because he missed the two years between the end of the war and when Cassie left earth, he was now only one years older. "No, Jake, something other than that. She does not just care, she loves you."
I felt my cheeks turn red and hot. "It's been so weird these past years though," I started to protest, embarrassed, but he would not hear it. He cut me off.
"You still love her too, both you and I know it."
He was right, and I found that I could not deny it.
"Now, please listen to me. I am your brother again, not a Yeerk. My advice is real. If you would just stop being so obstinate and talk to her, get out of your funk, because you should, Rachel and I are not dead, and be yourself, you two could be something wonderful. When the Yeerk was in my head, even though I could not say anything to you, I wanted to tell you to keep her, she was a great girl. Now I can say it, but I have to change the words: Get her back; she is a great woman. She nearly bored us all to death those few months on the Jahar II talking about you. She kept wondering if you would still love her, if you would still want you to get married. She told us that you did propose to her at one point." He looked at me sharply. I squirmed in my seat. "Which is good, but after that you went all weird on her. That is not good." I realized that I was blushing furiously. "Talk to the girl, it will be alright. She wants you to be like you were before. She wants the two of you to be together again."
"I don't know," I told him. "It has just been so awkward ever since she let you- the Yeerk- get away with the morphing cube, and after Mom and Dad were captured. I thought I was okay again in the time before we blew up the Yeerk pool, I really did. But then, after you and Rachel died, I just could not help myself. I felt horrible. I was so depressed, all the time. I guess I should feel better, now that you two are back, alive again, and I do, sort of, but I guess these things take time. And then there were the seventeen thousand Yeerks, and the auxiliary Animorphs too…"
Tom looked grim. "Marco and Cassie think you are clinically depressed, Jake," Tom said. "Seeing you, I'm starting to think that they might be right. If you do not snap out of it by the time we make it, if we make it, back to earth, you are going to a doctor and getting some medication. It's just not healthy. We are back though, Jake, and it was not your fault that we would have died. Rachel told us herself that she would have gone even if you had not told her to. Even then, we did not die, Cassie saw to that. Stop blaming yourself."
I forced a smile. "Thanks, Tom. I thought I would never see you again. I thought that I never was even able to say goodbye. During the war, I did not think I could ask for advice, because your Yeerk would have just tried recruiting me for the Sharing. This almost makes up for it."
He patted me on the head. "That's what brothers are for, right?"
I smiled again, this time it was true. He was free. "Well, I guess I had better go talk to her then, so I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
Tom nodded, and walked out of my room. A few minutes later, I followed him out and went to the Jahar II. I walked through its halls to her room, and then took a deep breath. I knocked once, but before I could bring my fist down again, the door whipped open, and Cassie poked her head through.
"Yes? Oh, it's you, Jake, come on in." She flashed me a smile, but I looked at her eyes and noticed that they were red, puffy, and swollen. She had been crying.
I walked into her room, and looked around. It was small, and did not have a real bed. There was a soft mattress in one corner, but that was it. She had said that this was originally an Andalite ship, so I assumed that the lack of a bed was due to the fact that Andalites did not lay down as we did. She sat down on the mattress, and I sat next to her.
"So," she said.
"So," I agreed. "How are you?"
"Good, I guess," she said, halfheartedly.
I brushed a strand of short hair out of her eyes. "You were crying."
She blushed. "Yes, well, I…" She looked down.
"Cassie." I said. "I'm so sorry. The past few years, I have just been strange. I blamed myself for Rachel and Tom's deaths, and James' people, and for the deaths of the seventeen thousand Yeerks. I was depressed, and acted like it around you. I was awkward. I was just so miserable. Cassie, I- God, Cassie, I'm so sorry." I looked at her, and noticed how wonderful she looked. She was so beautiful; I stared at her like I had never seen her before.
"Jake, it's okay-" she started, but I cut her off.
She was just saying that it was okay, but I knew that it was not. I leaned in, and kissed her. After a moment, she kissed back, and I felt as though all my qualms and fears over the past two years were just melting away. How could I ever have left her? I wrapped my arms around her. After a few more moments, Cassie pulled away. Her eyes shone.
"You are feeling better then, really?" She asked, excitedly.
I nodded, and smiled. I was feeling better than I had in years. Then she came forward and kissed me again. I felt like I was soaring.
"I love you, Cassie," I said.
"I love you, Jake," she whispered back.
"You said one year, Cassie," I said. "One year after the war ended, we would talk about our future together. It's been over that long. But I can wait a while longer, if you can. Why don't we give it a couple of weeks, and then talk? Does that work for you?"
She nodded enthusiastically. She had such a gorgeous smile. I smiled back, and took her hands in my own. We were silent.
The silence was broken by loud, deep laughter. We looked up, I saw Marco standing in the doorway, cracking up. "Ignore me!" He cried. "This is so funny! Go on, I want to see this! I am not here!" He started to morph, and judging by the scaly armor and set of antenna growing on him, I figured it was some sort of bug.
"Marco!"
Ignore me. He commanded.
"I'll squash you like the bug you're becoming!" I hollered.
Whoa, no need to become violent, Big Jake, he said, and started demorphing. When he finally was completely human again, he had a large smile plastered onto his face. "Catch you later, O Fearless Leader," he said with a wink, and walked off.
I realized that my face had become a deep shade of scarlet. Cassie was laughing. "Why doesn't he mind his own business?" I grumbled.
Cassie laughed even harder. "I think he enjoyed watching that," she chuckled.
I started to laugh as well. I put my arm around her, and she leaned her head on my shoulder. We sat there, talking, just like during old times, for another hour before I left to go back to my room. I passed Tom on the way back.
"Well, how did it go?" He demanded.
I grinned, and gave him the thumbs up. He smiled back. I walked back to my room feeling as though a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders and went into a deep sleep.
