Title: Androgyny
Author: asparagus
Email: asparagus@iamwasted.com
Rating: PG
Summary: The musings of a Man-King.
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Slash (A/L), Serious Angst
Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings - the novels, movie, merchandise, characters, or plotline. In no way whatsoever am I profiting from this fictional piece - unless it's an ego boost from any comments you people deem worthy of sending my way.
Author's Note: First of all, thank you to the people who commented on my first LoTR fic. No flames! *cheers* Next item of business, this is not a songfic like the first one. But, it is slightly inspired by Garbage's song of the same name, "Androgyny".

Androgyny

Gold...those spun strands spill onto slender shoulders to cast an ethereal aura.

Ivory...paleness sculpted into a flawless figure.

Rose...fairness flushed like a blossom in full bloom with the velvet to match in touch.

Coral...a light peach formed to full and tempting.

Azure...a sapphire stolen from sky and sea to grace wide windows of an ageless soul.

A pure spirit graces us with its presence, yet lives as if oblivious to its impact - perhaps it is. Yet, I wonder at how one can posess a beauty so breathtaking and yet be completely unconscious of his effect on those about him? His innocence clashes with the centuries he has lived and yet grace his face and form with an untainted and undeniable appeal.

He is one who would stand as proof of love at first sight...love that demands servitude and distance...love that is not love, but adoration. That must be how he is seen - I know that is how I did at first. Then, I came closer to peer beneath the veil and see the soul that breathed life into the perfect statue. I saw flaws one would not see at first glance. I saw pride and despair...iron will and weakness...hope...and fear. Fear of defeat...failure...and love. I saw more than I cared to see and it silenced me more than his appearance ever could.

It brought him just a little closer and yet placed him even farther.

In a perfect world, we might have been together.

In a perfect world, I might have been worthy of him.

In a perfect world, he might let himself learn to love.

...But, this is not a perfect world.

Arwen is not the real obstacle. She would understand. But, he... He would be too afraid to let himself fall...and I would be too afraid that I might not catch him.

...And there's the slight setback of something called mortality. I have it. You don't. And I know enough about Elves to know that you cannot choose to forfeit it. Arwen has that choice because she is the daughter of Lord Elrond, Half-Elf. You are different. You are the son of Thranduil...a full-blooded Sindarin Elf...a child of Mirkwood. You are immortal. The Shadow Lover has only two ways with which to seduce you - on the battlefield...or at the heart.

I cannot stand to see your flush fade as blood ebbs from your body. Do you think I could stand to see you yourself fade to nothing as I break your heart? For that is the only way things could go if you should learn to love me. I shall age. I shall pass with time onto the halls of the Shadow Lover...and I shall be forced to leave you behind no matter how tight we clutch at each other or how much I long to linger in your embrace.

So, I shall take the path of those who share the tragic love for the Elven...I shall love you from afar.