Chapter 4; A Leaders pain

"I know, your both thinking I'm crazy. Adora's gone mad! Don't think I can't here you thinking that. As a matter of fact Bow, you and Glimmer are thinking so loudly it's making my brain hurt. So stop it. Thinking I mean." They were nearly to the woods and the silence was becoming oppressive.

"Adora," Glimmer interjected in a quiet tone, "I think there's been enough of that going on today. Not thinking- I mean." Adora stopped her horse. Her back going rigid with indignation. Bow brought Arrow to a halt, looking at Adora curiously.

"Get off." She snapped at Glimmer, her tone, so cold it gave him goose bumps.

"What?" Glimmer questioned in startlement.

"Get your fuchsia ass off my horse so I can kick it." Glimmer dismounted quickly, gazing warily at Adora as she did the same.



Bow backed Arrow up, smirking slightly. He didn't want to miss one moment of this; these two strong-willed women seldom argued but when they did they were a magnificent sight to behold, eyes flashing wildly, breasts heaving with passion. Never had they come to blows; however Glimmer was spoiling for a fight and it appeared as if Adora was more than happy to oblige her.

If they actually got physical he might just have to separate them. By stepping between them.

By the ancients a dream come true!

Of course only after they engaged in a brief struggle of flying hair and straining muscles- for their own good of course, merely to work it out of their system.

He wanted to watch.

Wrestling these two luscious women to the ground would be a challenge, but one he could happily rise to with ease. Bow loved strong beautiful women. Bow loved to wrestle. Bow was really looking forward to wrestling these two strong beautiful women.

He couldn't think of one man on the planet who wouldn't be.

Adora started stalking toward Glimmer- then she changed her mind, turned around and headed in the opposite direction. She had only walked a few feet when she stopped as if to gather her thoughts. She then turned around so that Bow and Glimmer could see her face. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears that refused to fall.

"Do you think I was wrong?"

"Yes!" This from both Bow and Glimmer. Adora lifted her chin, placed her hands on her hips and spread her legs apart, assuming a defiant stance.

"Why? Explain to me your logic- you first Glimmer." Bow's shoulders slumped, obviously this was to be a battle with words alone. He sighed. No one could blame him for wishing.

Glimmer tossed her pink hair over her shoulder and her brows came together in anger. "We're the Great Rebellion, the people's champions. We fight to help those in need wherever and whenever we can. Whether they help us or not we are dedicated to serving the greater good and freeing all the people of Etheria from the Horde, not just the ones we happen to like! And you pulled your sword on a child Adora. What were you thinking! We champion good, we don't slaughter children." Glimmer's voice was brimming with hostility and bewildered resentment. Adora swallowed convulsively before raising her chin another notch.

"And you, Bow. Explain why I was wrong."

With a total absence of hostility and gentle patience as though instructing a recalcitrant child Bow explained his reasoning. "Adora, you can't force people to fight. Even if it is for their own good. They are not children. They must choose for themselves and they have. Just because they are not willing to fight with us does not mean we throw them to the wolves. They are our people. They are simply frightened and with good cause. We have fought the Horde for five years now. We are barely holding the line. The people of Drile gave up their entire town, their lives as normal people and all their possessions to be free. You can't expect every other town to be willing to do the same. It's not realistic. Holding your sword to a child's throat is only going to make the villagers scared of us, not sympathetic to our cause." Adora's eyes flashed.

"You both sound like children. Do you think this is a game? Every day we fight to free our world from a tyrant. A tyrant whose underlings are willing to harm innocent children to get what they want! Tell me Glimmer, do you want to be a hero or do you want freedom?"

"Adora that's ridiculous I want to be free."

"Then stop trying to be a hero- worse yet stop trying to be a savior! We are the Great Rebellion, we are fighting to free our people. An impossible task if those same people don't want their freedom. Tell me what is the greater good here Glimmer? Rescuing people time and again from the same mistakes or letting them suffer the consequences of their choices? Thereby learning from them and not making the same mistake time and again. And Bow you are sooo right, I can't force these people to make the right choice but I can make sure that my people don't get hurt or killed defending those people who made the wrong choice. They are adults Bow, and they must learn to accept responsibility for their actions- or inaction- and live with the results however unpleasant. That is part of being an adult." She paused to take a breath before continuing.

"For the past five years we have fought Hordak and his goons and merely held the line. That is because Hordak knows how to fight a war. He knows how to accept one loss to prevent a greater one. He understands that in a war you must sacrifice some things in order to win. The people of Drile know this as well. But you two just can't seem to get that. We can't be watching everybody's back all the time or else we are going to get a sword in our own. If we would all stand together as one people on one world under a single banner of freedom, we could drive the Horde from our planet, but we fight a bigger monster then the Horde or Hordack or even Horde Prime. We fight the people themselves. The very people we want to free fight us every step of the way. And She-ra or the rebels are always there to bail them out of trouble in the nick of time, just in time for those people to say, 'thanks so much for the rescue, glad your not dead don't let the door hit you in the tail on your way out'. Bow you said it is not realistic of me to believe that every town would be willing to give up all their possessions like Drile. I say to you that it is not realistic to expect we will win this war if they are not. The people are afraid. Ha! So am I, do you know what of?"

Bow and Glimmer were staring at her with reluctant understanding if not total agreement.

Finally Bow cleared his throat, "I'm almost afraid to find out. What are you afraid of Adora?" Adora's eyes met his, shimmering in their cerulean depths he sensed her plea for understanding.

"I am afraid of dying. Of growing old and dying and my planet and her people still in chains. Worse I am afraid of falling in battle and leaving the Horde the rulers of my home. This is not the legacy I want to leave my children Bow. But every time we put our lives or the lives of those willing to fight to be free on the wire for those who won't fight that is exactly what we risk."

"Adora I think I understand but you still can't just abandon our people. In time they will learn they too want to be free."

"Bow, you beautiful fool, we don't have time. We are a small force. The Horde already rules two thirds of Etheria. He's already brainwashing the next generation of children to accept his rule. We have to push the line, not hold it. The only way to do that is let some people fall. If they won't join us let them live under Horde rule. Once their freedom is gone they will realize how precious it is, then maybe they will be willing to fight and bleed for it at our side instead of standing at our backs and not risking their own."

Glimmer interrupted angrily, "You still haven't explained why you were going to kill that child." Adora drew her sword, Glimmer raised her arms reflexively ready to teleport to safety but Adora hurled the sword into the dirt at her feet.

"If you actually believe I would murder a child then you had better pick up that sword and run me through because you definitely don't want me leading your rebellion." Glimmers eyes clouded in confusion.

"I don't understand."

"It was a completely calculated and thought out action. Right down to my voice intonations. I was trying to make the people of Gunthor see how important it is to fight for freedom, if not for themselves then for their children. Obviously I miscalculated. I thought they would feel as I do; that a life as a slave is worse than death and no life at all. I was mistaken. I see now the flaw in my logic."

"And that is?" Bow asked, dubiously.

"They have never been slaves." She whispered softly. "I was. They don't understand what it means to have no freedom. I do. I lived without it for twenty-one years." Her statement was met with silence. Heaving a sigh, Glimmer picked up Adora's sword and offered it up to her.

"You know more about war than I ever will, you were raised with it. I only know what I feel. I was wrong and I'm sorry. Please lead us again." Adora took the sword then mounted Spirit in one swift motion.

"Glimmer, never apologize for questioning or following your heart- However I do feel I deserve an ounce of faith- then again I'd hate to think I was leading a bunch of sheep."

"Yeah, Adora, what exactly are sheep?" Bow asked, his brow furrowed in puzzlement. Adora smiled.

"Animals of Earth and not to bright, as they are easily led. No, you my dear friends are not sheep." She then held out her arm to Glimmer who smiled as she took it and mounted behind her.

"You know, you never did kick my fuchsia-"

"Glimmer," Bow said trying to keep a straight face, "don't go there. She'll eat you alive."

That evening a full council was called. Queen Angella, Castaspella, Madame Razz and the twiggets were there as well as Frosta, Peek-a-Blue, Flutterina, Bow and Glimmer, Cowl and a representative from each of the twelve camps throughout the whispering woods and finally, Dirge, a representative from the troll king Ahgo of Spikeheart.

Adora briefed them on what happened in Gunthor, explaining as best she could her reasons. There was a general outcry over the new change in tactics but Queen Angella and Castaspella both upheld her position. With the rulers of the two largest free kingdoms on Etheria backing her as well as the support of the notably absent She-ra the rest of the people soon fell in line if not totally agreeing with it, at least supporting it. There was outrage over what Leech had done and general praise for the way the three had handled themselves, then each member was called to give an accounting of what was happening in their respective regimes.

The camps were doing fine, they were rationing the food they had, sharing with those in need but more supplies were desperately needed.

Queen Angella was adamant about lending support to the rebels in the form of more foodstuffs as well as clothes and blankets and temporary shelters and medicine for the wounded. Castaspella was willing to render aid as well. She was also there to report some personally disturbing news to Adora.

"I am in need of an apprentice." She announced, her gentle voice whisper soft. "A female, adept in all things scholarly and willing to work hard. I do not offer a life of ease or leisure, rather one of intense study and great trials and hardship, however the pros of this position far outweigh the cons. I need interested applicants to see me in the halls of knowledge back at Mysticor. I will screen them to see if they are worthy, please pass the news to your people." Adora frowned thoughtfully.

"Where's Ariel?"

Castaspella turned her fathomless mahogany eyes to Adora, they were filled with sorrow. "She has found another path. She has chosen to take to the seas with a man I believe you once admired. She is with the Sea Hawk."



Adora felt her breath catch, her world spun and she grasped the table for support. He had promised to wait for her. She hadn't seen him in three years but he had promised. It took her a moment but the world righted itself and she was eventually able to raise her eyes to meet Castaspella's.

"I am, of course, happy for them both. I admire the Sea Hawk for his courage and his honor."

"I have perilous news from the north Adora." Adora snapped her eyes to Frosta. An intimidating woman with great presence she was garbed in blue.



She wore deep cerulean leggings and a short dress of pale azure that sparkled with real ice, frozen forever in time by some magic known only to the Empress of Ice Mountain herself. Attached to her shoulders a pale periwinkle cape hung gracefully, fluttering gently in the evening breeze. She wore gauntlets of the same hue with ivory gloves extending to her elbows. Her entire outfit was lined in the fur of snow-hare. Eyes the sweet blue of midnight with a hint of lavender in their depths sparkled with sober wisdom. She wore the mantle of power easily as one born to it Tall and slim and lean and appearing every inch a queen, her mien was hardened by sorrowful frustration.

"What is it my Lady?" Adora queried respectfully.

"There is to be war. Between my People and the Sulkies. King Narwa is ill. His son has assumed the throne. He is stirring up old hatreds, he is unwilling to speak of peace. He thirsts for our mountain and the magic of ice as found only in Chill Castle. He is unwilling to heed reason and though I and my people wish to avoid war, as long as Narwa is not on the throne I do not believe peace is possible." Adora was silent a moment, absorbing this ill-fated piece of information.

"If there is war in the North and Chill Castle should fall, Hordak would surely seize the opportunity and set up a base there. The sulkies are good fighters but they are not terribly bright. I'll have She-ra pay them a visit, see if she can talk sense into them."

Bow snickered, "more like knock some sense into them." Adora frowned fiercely at him.

"Thank you Frosta for keeping us informed." Frosta gave a regal nod.

Peek-a-Blue stepped forward a troubled frown on her face. "Adora, we picked up the supplies from Corliss but they were meager, much less than we expected. We need more food." Adora sighed, here at least was a problem she could do something about.

"Very well, Bow, arrange a hunt through the Sartyrn forest tomorrow, take fifteen men and see what you can get. Madame, can you organize the twiggetts into a massive fruit and nut seeking force?"

"Sure thing dearie, berries beware, Madame Razz is here!"

"Good, Queen Angella, Castaspella, if you could get each of your subjects to provide vegetables- enough for a single meal it should help us for awhile."

"Of Course Adora. It will be done."

"Thank you, all of you. Your faith in this cause is all that keeps the banner of freedom waving over the land. I'll see some of you in the morning, to the rest of you. See you soon." The crowd began to disburse as each person had some duty or another to fulfill before bedding down for the night.

Adora gently lay a hand on Flutterina's shoulder who turned to gaze in inquiry at her commander. The magnificent winged beauty of the butterfly girl threatened to overwhelm Adora.

She had lavender hair that fell in gentle waves over the graceful arch of her back and lilac eyes sparkling with a gentle intelligence. She was of slight build standing only as tall as Adora's chin but she was dainty and soft and everything utterly feminine that Adora sometimes wished she could be. Her lashes were extremely long and full as was her bosom.

Adora ached with envy inside for Flutterina's sweet beauty, however the most striking thing about Flutterina wasn't her exceptional good looks. It was the massive set of butterfly wings she had blooming beautifully from her back, natures testament to her ethereal wonder.



"Flutterina." Adora began, "You are the gentlest, most empathic soul I know. I need you to go on a very important mission."

"Alright Adora. What can I do to help?"

"I need you to find Melog. She has had five years to discover her humanity. Now I need that humanity. The rebellion needs that humanity. Find her and bring her back to us. Convince her of our dire circumstances. She has the strength and the heart of She-ra and I need her. The rebellion needs her."

Years ago She-ra had fought the Melog, a monster of muck from the swamps, raised by Shadow Weaver through her dark Magiks the melog could absorb all the strengths and weaknesses of the first enemy it encountered. When it had fought She-ra it had absorbed her super strength and became a match for She-ra, however it had also unexpectedly absorbed her love of life and freedom and eventually became human with She-ra's magical sword. She then left on a quest to discover life in all its splendor and terrible wonder.

They had not heard from her in all that time. Adora was ready to call on her aid.

"As you wish Adora. I'll leave as the sun rises." Flutterina left leaving behind only Queen Angella, Castaspella and Madame Razz.

"Adora, what's going on?" Asked Castaspella. "I am sensing a struggle within you as you seek answers you are having a hard time producing."

Adora sat down and rubbed her face with her hands. "You mean what's going on besides the fact that the man I thought was in love with me has forsaken me for another?" Castaspella simply waited for her.

Adora sighed. "Leech could have killed that child today. It would have been my fault."

"Adora, honey, you are not responsible for the actions of a hordes man."

"No Madame, normally I'm not, but I underestimated him. He's still out there. Still mad. That makes him unpredictable. I fear."

Angella placed a comforting arm around her shoulder. "Adora, you are one woman against so much evil. You have the weight of the fate of so many on your shoulders, you cannot expect to be perfect. Awful things happen even to the best of us. I once lost an entire kingdom to the Horde and ended up a slave to Hunga the Harpy, mistakes happen. We learn from them and move on."

"I wanted his blood you know." The three of them rested their combined compassionate regard on Adora's lowered head; the beautiful and wise Angella, the timeless grace of the most powerful sorceress on the planet- Castaspella; and the bumbling but intelligent regard of Madame Razz.

"I've never actually wanted to kill someone before. You know?"

They maintained their silence understanding Adora needed more than their input and advice, she needed their silent support and understanding as she purged her tormented conscience.

"It made me afraid of myself. That I am capable of such hot blood lust. I've always kept my head in battle, been cool and collected, I choose my target I take them out- this was different. If it had been within my power I would have killed today." Adora turned her anguished gaze at them, silently hoping they would erase her fears but knowing that was impossible.

"I don't want to become the very people I'm fighting." Angella came within inches of her face, pulling her wings in tight against her body as she locked eyes with Adora.



"Sometimes the only way to defeat your enemy is to make a sacrifice. I'm not speaking of sacrificing others or lands rather I speak of sacrificing a small part of yourself for the greater good." Adora gazed at her uncomprehending. "It's like bacteria, it becomes a part of the host and begins to dismantle it from within- in a sense becoming one with the host it is intent on destroying.

"Angella, comparing me and my actions to that of mindless bacteria is not helpful at this time. I don't want to become a monster." A blood thirsty monster.

"Sometimes in the heat of battle we become the thing we are fighting." Castaspella offered up wisely. Adora grunted. They had no words to comfort her. Finally unable to bear their scrutiny any longer she stood.

"I'm going for a ride." The three watched her leave, a similar concern mirrored in each of their faces.

"Way to go Angella!" Madame offered, grimacing.

"Really, Angella, what were you thinking, comparing our greatest tactician and leader of our rebellion to mindless bacteria?" Castaspella asked archly.

Angella's lips pursed as she made a face totally unsuited to the Queen of Bright Moon. "I was trying to help. For all her training and awesome abilities Adora is merely cutting her teeth on this rebellion. She needs to realize in order to win a war your opponent must be destroyed, this means death and if your lucky when you make a kill you are consumed with bloodlust. It is much harder to kill in cold blood. The results stay with you longer. I care for Adora, I don't like seeing her in pain."

"None of us do, dearie, none of us do." Madame Razz stated worriedly.