I was surrounded.....surrounded by darkness, by fear, by neglect. Life had
no meaning. This didn't even feel like life. It was death with no ending.
The darkness and foreboding was there, but I wasn't dead. This was neither
life nor death. To this day I'm not sure what it was or what it is, in some
way, some strange way it was my only way out and my doorway in. It was more
than survival, I'm not sure what, but something. With my thoughts leaving
me with a feeling of deep anxiety I grasped my M-16 and slowly got up. My
clip was full. I would need it. I snuck into a corridor, showing its age by
the decaying walls and the rust that devoured it. I heard movement in the
vents. A gunshot ran out like a resounding bell. I fired at the vents, a
slightly injured figure lay at my feet, a pool of blood streaming out from
him. He was a stout man, dressed in blue body Armour and with a helmet of
the same color. His mustache was unkept, his hair, or lack thereof the same
way. He lay on the floor struggling to breathe. clinging on to dear life.
Soon, before he could acknowledge my presence, the coldness of death
grasped him. He stared into my direction, his eyes ever watching. He was
dead. I had seen many men die, some comrades, some enemies, but I had never
seen a man die like that. Such emotion, such practiced bravado, it chilled
my soul to look at him. I walked over, resting my hand on his face and
sliding down his eyelids over his pupils, wide with questions. Why? I
almost shuddered, but, remembering my mission I kicked him aside. No one
had shone compassion to me, why should I show it to them? I cannot escape
this god-forsaken place, but I can try to last as long as I can. Throwing
my thoughts aside I gazed intently at the open ventilation shaft. There
seemed to be nothing of dangerous properties in the contents of the shaft
but things are never as they appear in Black Mesa, they is always a catch,
always something. A loop, if you will. Too bad I found! this out a bit
late. I marched away, just like a real marine I thought, just like a real
fuckin' marine.I heard much of the same movement from the previous
encounter, the same silent slinking and finally the foot steps of an
assassin, only assassins could hope to accomplish such silence.The sound
was indistinguishable. I heard the silenced shots of a gun once more. Two
bullets tore through my flesh, trying to escape through the other end of my
back, they had narrowly missed my spine. I fell to one knee, gasping in
pain, grinding my teeth. I had to overcome the pain, I rolled to the right,
hugging the wall in the corridor, at that point, instinct and training
kicked in. I quickly grabbed hold of my M-16, and pointed the laser in the
direction of the coward who shot me when my back was turned. I fired three
times, all the bullets found themselves in the bastard's neck. He grabbed
his throat, and he fell back on to the ground. He was staying there. I
limped towards him,noticing ! the scientist in his grasp, bound and gagged,
he feebly attempted to converse, all I did was blatently fire a bullet
between his eyes, I don't no what had overcome me, but my brief indulging
of blood lust had taken two lives, one innocent, feeling discusted with
myself I limped near the assassins' body to closely examine him, clad in
black with no regard to human life. But, as I creeped closer I noticed that
this wasn't a man, instead it was a woman. I stared in bewilderment and
disbelief. Staring at the ceiling hiding beneath the contents of her black
mask, layed a woman. A masked coward,and a criminal. I had killed a woman,
it was the equivalent of killing one's self at my standards, but I had to
set my own feelings aside.However I couldn't remove the feeling of dishonor
that overwhelmed me. This was business, this was a mission. I would have to
murder in cold blood, and set aside any sort of feeling of human decency.My
conscience warned me, my karma followed suit, but I didn't give in, I
proceeded with the task at hand. I made sure there was no one left in the
vent. I aimed my rifle and fired a grenade from my M-79 slug attached to my
M-16, the seemingly earth-shaking explosion emitted fire all the way into
the duct, somewhat like a volcano, a violent stream of fire blasted open
all other vents, it seemed that Black Mesa had a quite elaborate
ventilation system, the perfect spot for a murder. I once again set out,
limping with pain. The cold blood that formerly resided in my veins now ran
like ice down my back. I grabbed a few painkillers from my supplies. I
gulped them down, the pills would ease the pain. I left the corridor, along
with the two forgotten bodies. I once again started my marching gait as
soon as the painkillers set in, the numbing sensation had also seemed to
make my head lighter. I almost felt invincible. This only lasted for a few
seconds, I traced the feeling to perhaps one too many shots to the skull.
The feeling overwhelmed for a brief time but I always managed to come back.
I marched, this time with more enthusiasm, in cold blood, in constant fear,
without regulations, without Remorse..........
