Disclaimer: I own nothing. Everything in this story belongs to JKR, except the plot and the book. Read the story and you'll know what I'm talking about.
"Now," Albus Dumbledore was saying, "we really must work out a way for the students who get detention repeatedly to be punished in a more--" He was cut off as Sibyl Trelawney stood up and excused herself.
"I'm sorry, but I really must take a trip to the bathroom," she said, walking out of the meeting room.
"Good God," Severus Snape commented. "That woman goes to the bathroom more than anyone I know. This has to be what? The fourth time during this three-hour meeting? She has to go practically every forty-five minutes. Now, either she doesn't want to come to these meetings so she is finding a clever way to get out of them, or she has a highly disfunctional bladder. I mean seriously. She goes before and after every class and meal. How long has this been going on? Two years? Four years? I don't know. All I know is that it's very strange. No one else I know has such an urge to go to the restroom so often."
Dumbledore rubbed his chin. "Yes, I know. Knowing her, it's most likely that she has a disfunctional bladder, because she enjoys meetings when punishing students is the main discussion topic. However, I have never known her to have any health problems that were recurring. She's had colds and the flu before, but that's it." He stood up. "Ladies and gentlemen, I think it is time we got to the bottom of this little dilemma she has. Next time she says she has to go to the bathroom, someone must follow her." He raised an eyebrow when Professor Snape's hand flew into the air. "A female someone, preferably, Severus. After all, she does go to the women's restroom, and you go to the men's restroom. Or at least you did last time I heard."
Snape scowled and put his hand down.
"You know, she could be skipping these meetings because she knows what will be concluded from them," Flitwick said thoughtfully, always trying to put in a good word for his coworkers.
Minerva McGonagall gave him a Look. "Oh, come on. Do you actually believe she knows stuff like that?" She turned to Dumbledore as Flitwick shrugged uncertainly. "I'll do it, Albus," she said resolutely.
"Follow Sibyl?" he asked.
"Mm-hm," she replied, nodding. "I know Sibyl, and I know that she usually doesn't have to go to the bathroom unless she has a reason."
They chatted idly until Trelawney got back, then pretended they had been conversing about the different modes of punishing persistent rule-breakers.
"I apologize for my behavior. It seems I have a problem with my urinal--"
"Sibyl, we don't want to know," McGonagall interrupted, holding up a hand. Trelawney gave her a very indignant look.
"I was simply trying to explain my reason for leaving this meeting so many times! Very well, then. If I get a salary cut, I'll blame it on you, Minerva, because you wouldn't let me explain." She crossed her arms and stuck her overlarge nose into the air.
"Well," McGonagall retorted with a mischievous grin, "if you are All-Seeing, as you claim to be, you would know ahead of time whether or not you would get a salary cut before now."
All the other professor could do was sputter in response to this. Dumbledore rolled his eyes at the two teachers' behavior. "Come, come now, ladies. You are acting like schoolchildren. Now, as we were saying, one possiblility of punishing these continual offenders is to .. uh " He trailed off, forgetting the fact that they hadn't actually come up with any solutions, as they had been gossiping while Trelawney was gone.
"Well, I have an idea, if anybody would care to hear it," Trelawney said flippantly. There was a murmur of consent among the other teachers. "Well, what we could do is bind them to their houses for all breaks for a set amount of time. Take Mr. Potter, for instance.
Snape's eyes lit up at the name, knowing several (hundred) incidents that it brought to mind. "Oh, yes. That Mr. Potter is a nuisance and a troublemaker. He seems to be in detention a lot, doesn't he?" Inside, he was secretly planning to test this new disciplinary method on Harry Potter.
Trelawney frowned at him, then continued. "As I was saying, say Mr. Potter has four detentions within a month. That's a little less than one a week on average. We could confine him to his room during break for four days. Every time a student has more than three detentions a month, we confine them to their common room for the amount of days equal to the number of detentions they received. Does that make sense?"
Snape's face fell. "That's not very many. Why not four months? A month for every detention," he suggested eagerly.
"Oh, come now, Severus, this is not shoe camp," Trelawney scolded.
"Boot camp," corrected almost all of the other teachers.
"Whatever. Same thing."
Dumbledore considered this. "Well, Sibyl, it is a good idea. However, I do believe four days would have no effect. Perhaps two or three days for each detention? And another question. How would we enforce this rule? Unless a teacher is willing to also give up his or her breaks to guard the common room, I'm sure it will be disregarded."
They debated over this for about a half-hour, then Trelawney excused herself again and walked out. Dumbledore nodded to McGonagall, who silently got up and followed. She pursued the other professor until she reached the teachers' bathrooms. Then she calmly waited outside the door for Trelawney to emerge. When she did, she jumped at the sight of McGonagall standing casually outside the door.
"Minerva! What in the world are you doing here?" she exclaimed.
"Is it possible that I, too, might have to use the restroom?" McGonagall replied dryly. She moved away from the wall she had been leaning on. "Anyways, how come you have to go so much? Now that we're not in the presence of everybody else, you can tell me."
Trelawney looked down sheepishly. "I justhave to go a lot, that's all. There's no real reason. I was just making something up back there," she said.
"Hah!" McGonagall laughed. "Sure, Sibyl. You just have to go every forty-five minutes."
At this, the other woman looked up defiantly. "No! I could stop if I wanted to!"
"Riiiiiight," came the skeptical reply. "Sibyl Trelawney, I would bet you that you couldn't go a whole day without going to the bathroom once."
"Well, have you ever done that?"
"No, I haven't," McGonagall admitted. "But I usually only go once when I wake up in the morning and that's it."
"Well, then you shouldn't bet I could do more than you," Trelawney said smugly.
"Okay then. I would bet you that you couldn't go a whole day without going to the bathroom more than once. And that once would be in the morning when you get up."
Trelawney eyed her suspiciously. "What's in it for me if I win?"
"This." She reached into her robes and drew out the new book on Divination: Seeing Through the Mists of the Future, by Griture T. Thandlie.
Trelawney's eyes began to sparkle. "Oh, please let me have that, Minerva! I've been looking for it at every single Divination shop in London, and I just can't seem to find it! But you did! Where did you get it?"
"You think I'm stupid enough to just tell you and make it easy for you to blow this bet?"
"Darn," Trelawney said, snapping her fingers. "Okay, Minerva, I accept. I will not go to the bathroom more than once. And that once will be in the morning when I get up. Is that good enough?"
"Yes," McGonagall said, satisfied. "But first I have to tell you what will happen if you lose this bet."
"Oh, darn again. I was hoping you would skip that part."
"Hah. No, I don't think so. If you lose, you'll--" She stopped, an idea creeping into her head. "You tell me what'll happen. After all, you do know, don't you?"
Trelawney gave McGonagall a look of pure venom. "Just tell me."
The other woman laughed. "Finally! You admit that you can't see everything! Finally my suspicions are confirmed!"
"Wait, wait, wait! I didn't say that!" she exclaimed nervously, looking around to make sure nobody was there to overhear the confession--I mean accusation. She thought for a minute. "Guess," she said lamely. "Guess what will happen if I lose."
McGonagall gave Trelawney one of her famous you-can-do-better-than-that looks. "Oh, come on. I already know what's going to happen. I came up with it. It's my idea. You don't know, though. Unless, of course, you can prove me wrong."
Trelawney looked at her helplessly. "All right, all right. Tell me."
"Say it."
"Say what?"
"That you can't see everything."
"I won't, because that's not true."
"Then prove it."
"You're going to make me walk around with a wizard's cup on," she guessed, throwing up her hands cluelessly.
"Not a bad idea, but no." McGonagall sighed. "All right, I won't make you confess."
"Oh, thank you, Minerva."
"Yet."
"Oh."
"You will have to tell all of the teachers that you can't really see the future as well as you claim," she said, grinning evilly.
Trelawney's eyes widened in pure terror. "You wouldn't do that to me, Minerva! Please tell me you wouldn't do that to me!"
"Oh, I would."
"I'll do anything! Just don't make me do that! Please!"
"Don't go to the bathroom for a whole day, except in the morning."
"Okay! I will!"
"Promise?"
"I'll try!"
"Very well, then." She walked off, feeling very proud of herself, and leaving Trelawney standing, dumbstruck, outside the bathroom.
A/N: The next chapter is like half-done. Should I post it?
