Title: "The Opposite of Lonely"
Author: Dusty
Rating: R
Summary: Max realizes something. Another Alec POV.
Disclaimer: Me no own. James Cameron do. Please no sue. Also, the song quote is from "Shameless" by Ani DiFranco.
Feedback: It's the food of the Gods! Although if you want to give me Jensen Ackles' phone number instead, I'm cool with that.
Author's Note: After the events of "Gill Girl" Max decides to follow through on her threat to put a stop to this thing with her and Logan. Finally.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"If I had any sense
I guess I'd fear this
I guess I'd keep it down
So no one would hear this
I guess I'd shut my mouth
And re-think a minute
But I can't shut it now
Cuz there's something in it"
--Ani DiFranco, "Shameless"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I scan the crowd in Crash for her again. I still don't see her and I start to worry. Tonight is the first time she's seen Logan since she called things off after the Great Chicken Pox Scare of 2020 a month and a half ago. She's talked to him on the phone and stuff before now, of course, so it's not like they've got any catching up to do, so the only reasons I can figure for her not showing up on time are that her little intelligence gathering mission for Eyes Only went wrong, something happened and she accidentally touched him, or she's off moping and doesn't want company. None of these options appeal to me. I doubt it's the first one, though. If something went wrong, Logan would have called me by now. If it's the second one, then she's going to be wallowing in guilt. Probably for the rest of her life, knowing Max. I'd feel kinda bad too. Logan's an okay guy. And if it's the third option, well....
I sigh and head toward the bar to get another beer. While I wait for it, I take in the scene around me. People everywhere. A hundred conversations going at once. Laughing. Booze. Singing. Smiles. Pool. Smoke. A few tears.
This is the opposite of Manticore.
She walks through the door and starts looking around for me just as my beer arrives. I order a second one, figuring she's going to be all depressed. Finally she spots me, strides over, and drops down onto the stool next to me at the bar. I don't say anything, just push her beer toward her.
"Thanks," she says with a big smile. I guess I must not hide my surprise very well, because she laughs.
"Who are you, and where the hell is Max?" I say, only half joking. Maybe she's already drunk. "Seriously though, I thought you'd be all upset. I mean, for weeks it was nothing but 'Logan blah blah virus blah blah doomed blah never be normal blah blah blah blah blah.' Now you finally saw him again and not only are you not crying all over Original Cindy, but you actually smiled at me."
"Well, time heals all wounds, I guess," she says with a one-shouldered shrug. "I mean, I'm still not happy about it or anything, it's just...I don't know. I think I've finally accepted it. Besides, I've been keeping pretty busy lately." There's that smile again. Hm. "Anyway, how about we head out of here. I need to get out of these clothes. It's all good when I'm in Break and Enter Mode, but now they're just too hot. Your place is closer," she says as she slings the strap of her bag over her shoulder. I assume she has a change of clothes in there. If she doesn't, I'm okay with that too. I down the last of my beer and follow her out to her motorcycle.
We manage to make it back to my crap ass apartment without being shot at or attacked. The place isn't exactly Fogle Towers. Someone screams outside and she glances out the dirty window.
"How can you stand to live in this neighborhood? Especially all alone," she said. She actually looks a little concerned.
"Oh, I'm not all alone," I say. Her eyebrows shoot up. "Yeah, I've got roommates. Interestingly enough, they're not X-series, but they do have numbers. .22, .44, 9 millimeter...."
"That is *so* you," she says with a slight smile.
I shrug. "Yeah, this is me alright."
This is the opposite of Logan.
She rolls her eyes and takes her bag into my room, shutting the door behind her. I wait about five minutes until the rustling sounds stop. I pick up a bottle from the coffee table and walk over to the door. Knock knock.
"Is it okay to come in now?" I ask, then open the door when I hear her muffled affirmative.
I stop dead in my tracks. She's standing there in nothing but her bra and panties. Her plain, powder blue, cotton underwear that seems about a hundred times more sexy than the black lace I was expecting.
"What's that?" She points to the bottle in my hand. She takes a step closer.
"What? Oh. It's tryptophan. I came across a guy who somehow got his hands on some, and I don't really get the shakes, but I know you do so I--what the hell are you doing?" The whole time I was talking, she kept coming toward me. The room is barely big enough for my bed, so she's right in front of me now. If I puff out my chest it would touch hers.
"Nothing," she answers with a guileless expression. Then she tilts her head slightly and looks up at me through her eyelashes.
This is the opposite of innocent.
Okay, moment of panic over. I step sideways and then away from her. I can't let her do this. She must be more upset about Logan than she let on. Or maybe she really is drunk after all. She sighs and shoots me an annoyed look. That's more like it.
"Alec, it's okay," she tells me, then takes a big breath. "The whole reason I was late getting to Crash tonight was because I was thinking. I didn't get upset about being around Logan like I was sure I would. So after I finished up the job, I rode around on my bike for a while. Thinking. And I finally figured out it was because of you. Ever since Logan and I split, you've been there. Even if you were doing nothing but pissing me off or getting into trouble, you were there and you took my mind off him. And then...I don't know. You got a little less annoying or something and I actually liked being around you. And, you know, things just changed. So when I got here and I realized I forgot my change of clothes tonight, I just figured what the hell. Now's as good a time as any, right? And...don't you want me?" She trails off and looks at me with those big brown eyes and I say the only thing I can think.
"Oh god yes," I answer, barely above a whisper. "I just...I just don't want you to hate me in the morning. I don't want you to hate yourself in the morning."
This is the opposite of hate.
She takes three slow steps over to me and puts her hands on either side of my face. My arms go around her waist, pulling her against me, and she feels so small. But then our lips touch and that feeling goes away. She just feels very real. Like the only real thing in the room.
And it's all so intense. As if until this point, all my senses had been set to 5, and now she's just reached over and turned them up to 10. But the only thing they can sense is her. Her scent is making me light headed, so I move us onto the bed before I fall down. When I look at her, the colors are so intense I swear they leave after-images on my retinas. But those are quickly forgotten when I roll on top of her, our clothes no longer separating us. The heat of her body against mine is searing. And compared to her skin, the sheets underneath us are like sandpaper. The sound of her breathing and moaning completely drown out the sounds of sporadic gunfire and police sirens wailing past outside. She drags her fingernails across my back and they feel like razor blades. That's okay, it feels good. Don't stop. Eventually, she closes her eyes and arches under me, drawing a breath in between her teeth and letting it back out again with a loud moan. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard, even if it does leave my sensitive ears ringing.
"Alec."
One soft word, my name. That's all it takes to push me over the edge and it's so overpowering I have to fight to keep from blacking out.
This is the opposite of hell.
Totally the opposite.
I stare at the ceiling for almost a full minute, trying to catch my breath and let my senses return to normal. When I look over at her she's already asleep. She's laying on her side, facing me, so I turn over on my side and move closer until our noses are only about three inches apart. There is no way I'm going to be able to sleep after that. But that's okay. I'd rather study her face anyway. Especially since it just occurred to me I've never seen her sleep.
An hour later she wakes up. My heart completely stops beating as she looks at me blankly and blinks her eyes a few times. But then she smiles and stretches her arm out across me, and caresses my back. The thump my heart makes as it starts beating again is painful, but I don't even notice because she's moving closer and snuggling her head under my chin.
This is the opposite of what I expected.
This is the opposite of my life up to now.
This is the opposite of lonely.
End.
A/N: This is dedicated to pari106, who requested a happy story. This is the opposite of angst ;)
A/N part deux: Okay, so unless you count school essays, this is the only thing I have ever written that isn't chock full of angst. Should I do it again or stick to what I know?
Author: Dusty
Rating: R
Summary: Max realizes something. Another Alec POV.
Disclaimer: Me no own. James Cameron do. Please no sue. Also, the song quote is from "Shameless" by Ani DiFranco.
Feedback: It's the food of the Gods! Although if you want to give me Jensen Ackles' phone number instead, I'm cool with that.
Author's Note: After the events of "Gill Girl" Max decides to follow through on her threat to put a stop to this thing with her and Logan. Finally.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"If I had any sense
I guess I'd fear this
I guess I'd keep it down
So no one would hear this
I guess I'd shut my mouth
And re-think a minute
But I can't shut it now
Cuz there's something in it"
--Ani DiFranco, "Shameless"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I scan the crowd in Crash for her again. I still don't see her and I start to worry. Tonight is the first time she's seen Logan since she called things off after the Great Chicken Pox Scare of 2020 a month and a half ago. She's talked to him on the phone and stuff before now, of course, so it's not like they've got any catching up to do, so the only reasons I can figure for her not showing up on time are that her little intelligence gathering mission for Eyes Only went wrong, something happened and she accidentally touched him, or she's off moping and doesn't want company. None of these options appeal to me. I doubt it's the first one, though. If something went wrong, Logan would have called me by now. If it's the second one, then she's going to be wallowing in guilt. Probably for the rest of her life, knowing Max. I'd feel kinda bad too. Logan's an okay guy. And if it's the third option, well....
I sigh and head toward the bar to get another beer. While I wait for it, I take in the scene around me. People everywhere. A hundred conversations going at once. Laughing. Booze. Singing. Smiles. Pool. Smoke. A few tears.
This is the opposite of Manticore.
She walks through the door and starts looking around for me just as my beer arrives. I order a second one, figuring she's going to be all depressed. Finally she spots me, strides over, and drops down onto the stool next to me at the bar. I don't say anything, just push her beer toward her.
"Thanks," she says with a big smile. I guess I must not hide my surprise very well, because she laughs.
"Who are you, and where the hell is Max?" I say, only half joking. Maybe she's already drunk. "Seriously though, I thought you'd be all upset. I mean, for weeks it was nothing but 'Logan blah blah virus blah blah doomed blah never be normal blah blah blah blah blah.' Now you finally saw him again and not only are you not crying all over Original Cindy, but you actually smiled at me."
"Well, time heals all wounds, I guess," she says with a one-shouldered shrug. "I mean, I'm still not happy about it or anything, it's just...I don't know. I think I've finally accepted it. Besides, I've been keeping pretty busy lately." There's that smile again. Hm. "Anyway, how about we head out of here. I need to get out of these clothes. It's all good when I'm in Break and Enter Mode, but now they're just too hot. Your place is closer," she says as she slings the strap of her bag over her shoulder. I assume she has a change of clothes in there. If she doesn't, I'm okay with that too. I down the last of my beer and follow her out to her motorcycle.
We manage to make it back to my crap ass apartment without being shot at or attacked. The place isn't exactly Fogle Towers. Someone screams outside and she glances out the dirty window.
"How can you stand to live in this neighborhood? Especially all alone," she said. She actually looks a little concerned.
"Oh, I'm not all alone," I say. Her eyebrows shoot up. "Yeah, I've got roommates. Interestingly enough, they're not X-series, but they do have numbers. .22, .44, 9 millimeter...."
"That is *so* you," she says with a slight smile.
I shrug. "Yeah, this is me alright."
This is the opposite of Logan.
She rolls her eyes and takes her bag into my room, shutting the door behind her. I wait about five minutes until the rustling sounds stop. I pick up a bottle from the coffee table and walk over to the door. Knock knock.
"Is it okay to come in now?" I ask, then open the door when I hear her muffled affirmative.
I stop dead in my tracks. She's standing there in nothing but her bra and panties. Her plain, powder blue, cotton underwear that seems about a hundred times more sexy than the black lace I was expecting.
"What's that?" She points to the bottle in my hand. She takes a step closer.
"What? Oh. It's tryptophan. I came across a guy who somehow got his hands on some, and I don't really get the shakes, but I know you do so I--what the hell are you doing?" The whole time I was talking, she kept coming toward me. The room is barely big enough for my bed, so she's right in front of me now. If I puff out my chest it would touch hers.
"Nothing," she answers with a guileless expression. Then she tilts her head slightly and looks up at me through her eyelashes.
This is the opposite of innocent.
Okay, moment of panic over. I step sideways and then away from her. I can't let her do this. She must be more upset about Logan than she let on. Or maybe she really is drunk after all. She sighs and shoots me an annoyed look. That's more like it.
"Alec, it's okay," she tells me, then takes a big breath. "The whole reason I was late getting to Crash tonight was because I was thinking. I didn't get upset about being around Logan like I was sure I would. So after I finished up the job, I rode around on my bike for a while. Thinking. And I finally figured out it was because of you. Ever since Logan and I split, you've been there. Even if you were doing nothing but pissing me off or getting into trouble, you were there and you took my mind off him. And then...I don't know. You got a little less annoying or something and I actually liked being around you. And, you know, things just changed. So when I got here and I realized I forgot my change of clothes tonight, I just figured what the hell. Now's as good a time as any, right? And...don't you want me?" She trails off and looks at me with those big brown eyes and I say the only thing I can think.
"Oh god yes," I answer, barely above a whisper. "I just...I just don't want you to hate me in the morning. I don't want you to hate yourself in the morning."
This is the opposite of hate.
She takes three slow steps over to me and puts her hands on either side of my face. My arms go around her waist, pulling her against me, and she feels so small. But then our lips touch and that feeling goes away. She just feels very real. Like the only real thing in the room.
And it's all so intense. As if until this point, all my senses had been set to 5, and now she's just reached over and turned them up to 10. But the only thing they can sense is her. Her scent is making me light headed, so I move us onto the bed before I fall down. When I look at her, the colors are so intense I swear they leave after-images on my retinas. But those are quickly forgotten when I roll on top of her, our clothes no longer separating us. The heat of her body against mine is searing. And compared to her skin, the sheets underneath us are like sandpaper. The sound of her breathing and moaning completely drown out the sounds of sporadic gunfire and police sirens wailing past outside. She drags her fingernails across my back and they feel like razor blades. That's okay, it feels good. Don't stop. Eventually, she closes her eyes and arches under me, drawing a breath in between her teeth and letting it back out again with a loud moan. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard, even if it does leave my sensitive ears ringing.
"Alec."
One soft word, my name. That's all it takes to push me over the edge and it's so overpowering I have to fight to keep from blacking out.
This is the opposite of hell.
Totally the opposite.
I stare at the ceiling for almost a full minute, trying to catch my breath and let my senses return to normal. When I look over at her she's already asleep. She's laying on her side, facing me, so I turn over on my side and move closer until our noses are only about three inches apart. There is no way I'm going to be able to sleep after that. But that's okay. I'd rather study her face anyway. Especially since it just occurred to me I've never seen her sleep.
An hour later she wakes up. My heart completely stops beating as she looks at me blankly and blinks her eyes a few times. But then she smiles and stretches her arm out across me, and caresses my back. The thump my heart makes as it starts beating again is painful, but I don't even notice because she's moving closer and snuggling her head under my chin.
This is the opposite of what I expected.
This is the opposite of my life up to now.
This is the opposite of lonely.
End.
A/N: This is dedicated to pari106, who requested a happy story. This is the opposite of angst ;)
A/N part deux: Okay, so unless you count school essays, this is the only thing I have ever written that isn't chock full of angst. Should I do it again or stick to what I know?
