Title: Shameless
Author: Dusty
Rating: PG-13
Description: Max's POV Companion to "The Opposite of Lonely"
Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own either Max or Alec. Although believe it or not, I do own Brin (aka Nicole Bilderback). It says so right in the www.mightybigtv.com "Celebs We Want" thread. Oh yeah, and the title and quote at the beginning are from the song "Shameless" by Ani DiFranco.
A/N: As much as I love getting inside Alec's pretty little head, I thought it would be interesting to do something from Max's POV. And since I've gotten such overwhelmingly positive feedback so far, I couldn't stop myself. So if this sucks, you have only yourselves to blame. Thank you drive thru.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I cannot name this
I cannot explain this
And I really don't want to
Just call me shameless."
--Ani DiFranco, "Shameless"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't sleep much. But when I do it usually takes me a few seconds to re-orient myself when I wake up. It's that feeling some people get when they wake up in places they're not used to. That slightly panicked, confused, where-the-hell-am-I moment before they suddenly remember. Well, that's what it's like for me every single time. This time when I wake up, I'm face to face with Alec, and as usual it takes me a few seconds to remember why that is. And from the expression on his face it's freaking him out for some reason.
He looks like a spanked puppy.
If I wasn't so drowsy this would make me laugh. Right now all I can manage is a smile. I move over, right up against him and caress his back. Caress the welts left by my fingernails. His hand is tangled in my hair. That reminds me of yesterday morning.
I flash to morning. My brush is tangled in my hair. I was so busy thinking about the meeting with Logan I was getting ready for, I lost track of what my hand was doing. Shit. I sigh and begin the painstakingly slow process of extricating my hair from the bristles, one strand at a time. Logan. I called it off between us about six weeks ago. To keep him from dying. To keep myself from wanting to.
The first week it was a struggle just to move my ass off the couch. Alec usually had to make me. That's the only reason I kept my job. The second week it was a struggle to keep from bursting into tears in public. Alec usually said something to piss me off. That's the only reason I kept my dignity. The third week it was a struggle just to carry on a conversation. Alec usually ignored me. That's the only reason I kept my temper. The fourth week it was a struggle just to watch Eyes Only broadcasts on TV. Alec usually told me the highlights. That's the only reason I kept up to date. The fifth week it was a struggle not to hit him too hard when he teased me about Logan. Alec usually flinched big and pretended to be in pain after the first punch. That's the only reason I didn't break his nose. The sixth week it was a struggle not to laugh when he teased me about Logan. Alec. That reminds me of where I am right now.
I flash to now. I could stay there all day, just laying there. Breathing him in. He smells like soap and sweat and sex. And me. I can smell myself all over him. I glance at the clock to see what time it is and immediately wish I hadn't. We can't stay here. Work starts in a little over two hours. We should get showers. Assuming this dump even has running water. I'm about to suggest we get a move on, but when my eyes meet his, I pause.
He looks like he wants to say something.
He opens his mouth slightly, but then closes it again with a barely perceptible shake of his head.
"Hey," he says instead. His hand is reaching for my hair again, but it stops short. That reminds me of Logan before I left last night.
I flash to last night. I'm sitting in Logan's penthouse. I've given him the files. Told him all the details of the relatively uneventful break and enter I pulled to get them. I told him I had to go. Had to go meet Alec, but I haven't left yet. I can tell he's got questions. I'm waiting for him to spit them out, but at the same time I'm willing him not to. I don't have the answers he wants. I don't have any answers at all. All I know is, I'm okay. I've been sitting with him and talking to him for hours. Logan. And I'm okay, even with this odd little feeling in my chest. It's not uncomfortable, but it's noticeable. It's way too dull to be longing, and it aches a little too much to be nostalgia. Also, I'm anxious. Anxious about Alec. I want to hurry up and get to Crash. And I don't know why. I just saw him a couple hours ago at work. And it's not like we're planning on doing anything special. Just hanging out. Drinking. Playing pool. Stuff we do all the time.
Logan reaches out. To touch my face or my hair. Or my hand. But he stops short when he remembers. He opens his mouth to ask for answers I can't give.
"Have a good time," he says instead. I smile and say I will. Then I leave to go meet him. Alec. That reminds me of where I am right now.
I flash to now. I sit up and so does he.
"We should get ready to go or we'll be late. Nothing like Normal screamin' at us first thing in the morning to ruin my good mood," I say and reluctantly leave the nice warm bed. Leave his nice warm body. I start picking my clothes up off the floor where I left them and I can feel his eyes on me. I look over my shoulder at him and except for his eyes, he's sitting completely still, leaning back against the headboard.
He looks like a statue.
"Enjoying the view?" I ask and strike a flirtatious pose. He shrugs.
"It's okay," he says, not even trying to hide his smile. He gets up, walks over, and looks at me for a moment before leaning in for a feather soft kiss. His hand is on my hip. That reminds me of the motorcycle ride over here last night.
I flash to last night. My mind is completely blank. I'm not used to this. Usually when I ride my bike it helps me concentrate. I can concentrate on working out a problem or I can concentrate on forgetting a problem exists. Either way, it gets my mind going. But I can't, with him so close. With his hands on my hips. And this just confirms the conclusion I came to while riding around before I showed up at Crash. I've got...something...for Alec. I don't know what, exactly. All I know is, I want to find out. And I'm not going to make the same mistake I made with Logan. I'm not going to deny it. I'm not going to over-analyze it. I've got to take the initiative. I've got to be shameless. That reminds me of where I am right now.
I flash to now. I look around for my other boot while he goes on and on about how we should leave a little early so I can stop by my place on the way to Jam Pony to pick up new clothes because it probably wouldn't be a good idea to wear my cat burglar suit, which is all I have with me.
"And I'm leaving you for Sketchy," he says. He thinks I've been ignoring him.
"I was listening, Alec. I wanted to stop by there anyway. Original Cindy gets worried when I don't come home like I'm supposed to, what with all the shit that's been going down lately. And it's easier to explain without the audience at work," I tell him. I finally locate my other boot and turn to leave the room and go take a shower.
"Besides, if you left me for Sketchy, I'd be forced to kill him. I have no intention of giving you up just yet," I say and shoot him a wink over my shoulder.
He looks pleased.
End.
A/N - Yeesh! I think this turned out okay, but it was a bitch and a half to write. I don't think Max likes me too much, you guys.
Author: Dusty
Rating: PG-13
Description: Max's POV Companion to "The Opposite of Lonely"
Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own either Max or Alec. Although believe it or not, I do own Brin (aka Nicole Bilderback). It says so right in the www.mightybigtv.com "Celebs We Want" thread. Oh yeah, and the title and quote at the beginning are from the song "Shameless" by Ani DiFranco.
A/N: As much as I love getting inside Alec's pretty little head, I thought it would be interesting to do something from Max's POV. And since I've gotten such overwhelmingly positive feedback so far, I couldn't stop myself. So if this sucks, you have only yourselves to blame. Thank you drive thru.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I cannot name this
I cannot explain this
And I really don't want to
Just call me shameless."
--Ani DiFranco, "Shameless"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't sleep much. But when I do it usually takes me a few seconds to re-orient myself when I wake up. It's that feeling some people get when they wake up in places they're not used to. That slightly panicked, confused, where-the-hell-am-I moment before they suddenly remember. Well, that's what it's like for me every single time. This time when I wake up, I'm face to face with Alec, and as usual it takes me a few seconds to remember why that is. And from the expression on his face it's freaking him out for some reason.
He looks like a spanked puppy.
If I wasn't so drowsy this would make me laugh. Right now all I can manage is a smile. I move over, right up against him and caress his back. Caress the welts left by my fingernails. His hand is tangled in my hair. That reminds me of yesterday morning.
I flash to morning. My brush is tangled in my hair. I was so busy thinking about the meeting with Logan I was getting ready for, I lost track of what my hand was doing. Shit. I sigh and begin the painstakingly slow process of extricating my hair from the bristles, one strand at a time. Logan. I called it off between us about six weeks ago. To keep him from dying. To keep myself from wanting to.
The first week it was a struggle just to move my ass off the couch. Alec usually had to make me. That's the only reason I kept my job. The second week it was a struggle to keep from bursting into tears in public. Alec usually said something to piss me off. That's the only reason I kept my dignity. The third week it was a struggle just to carry on a conversation. Alec usually ignored me. That's the only reason I kept my temper. The fourth week it was a struggle just to watch Eyes Only broadcasts on TV. Alec usually told me the highlights. That's the only reason I kept up to date. The fifth week it was a struggle not to hit him too hard when he teased me about Logan. Alec usually flinched big and pretended to be in pain after the first punch. That's the only reason I didn't break his nose. The sixth week it was a struggle not to laugh when he teased me about Logan. Alec. That reminds me of where I am right now.
I flash to now. I could stay there all day, just laying there. Breathing him in. He smells like soap and sweat and sex. And me. I can smell myself all over him. I glance at the clock to see what time it is and immediately wish I hadn't. We can't stay here. Work starts in a little over two hours. We should get showers. Assuming this dump even has running water. I'm about to suggest we get a move on, but when my eyes meet his, I pause.
He looks like he wants to say something.
He opens his mouth slightly, but then closes it again with a barely perceptible shake of his head.
"Hey," he says instead. His hand is reaching for my hair again, but it stops short. That reminds me of Logan before I left last night.
I flash to last night. I'm sitting in Logan's penthouse. I've given him the files. Told him all the details of the relatively uneventful break and enter I pulled to get them. I told him I had to go. Had to go meet Alec, but I haven't left yet. I can tell he's got questions. I'm waiting for him to spit them out, but at the same time I'm willing him not to. I don't have the answers he wants. I don't have any answers at all. All I know is, I'm okay. I've been sitting with him and talking to him for hours. Logan. And I'm okay, even with this odd little feeling in my chest. It's not uncomfortable, but it's noticeable. It's way too dull to be longing, and it aches a little too much to be nostalgia. Also, I'm anxious. Anxious about Alec. I want to hurry up and get to Crash. And I don't know why. I just saw him a couple hours ago at work. And it's not like we're planning on doing anything special. Just hanging out. Drinking. Playing pool. Stuff we do all the time.
Logan reaches out. To touch my face or my hair. Or my hand. But he stops short when he remembers. He opens his mouth to ask for answers I can't give.
"Have a good time," he says instead. I smile and say I will. Then I leave to go meet him. Alec. That reminds me of where I am right now.
I flash to now. I sit up and so does he.
"We should get ready to go or we'll be late. Nothing like Normal screamin' at us first thing in the morning to ruin my good mood," I say and reluctantly leave the nice warm bed. Leave his nice warm body. I start picking my clothes up off the floor where I left them and I can feel his eyes on me. I look over my shoulder at him and except for his eyes, he's sitting completely still, leaning back against the headboard.
He looks like a statue.
"Enjoying the view?" I ask and strike a flirtatious pose. He shrugs.
"It's okay," he says, not even trying to hide his smile. He gets up, walks over, and looks at me for a moment before leaning in for a feather soft kiss. His hand is on my hip. That reminds me of the motorcycle ride over here last night.
I flash to last night. My mind is completely blank. I'm not used to this. Usually when I ride my bike it helps me concentrate. I can concentrate on working out a problem or I can concentrate on forgetting a problem exists. Either way, it gets my mind going. But I can't, with him so close. With his hands on my hips. And this just confirms the conclusion I came to while riding around before I showed up at Crash. I've got...something...for Alec. I don't know what, exactly. All I know is, I want to find out. And I'm not going to make the same mistake I made with Logan. I'm not going to deny it. I'm not going to over-analyze it. I've got to take the initiative. I've got to be shameless. That reminds me of where I am right now.
I flash to now. I look around for my other boot while he goes on and on about how we should leave a little early so I can stop by my place on the way to Jam Pony to pick up new clothes because it probably wouldn't be a good idea to wear my cat burglar suit, which is all I have with me.
"And I'm leaving you for Sketchy," he says. He thinks I've been ignoring him.
"I was listening, Alec. I wanted to stop by there anyway. Original Cindy gets worried when I don't come home like I'm supposed to, what with all the shit that's been going down lately. And it's easier to explain without the audience at work," I tell him. I finally locate my other boot and turn to leave the room and go take a shower.
"Besides, if you left me for Sketchy, I'd be forced to kill him. I have no intention of giving you up just yet," I say and shoot him a wink over my shoulder.
He looks pleased.
End.
A/N - Yeesh! I think this turned out okay, but it was a bitch and a half to write. I don't think Max likes me too much, you guys.
