without spirit or cause
Part 8
*CRASH!*
A rain of falling shards of glass and wood clattered to the ground, a decapitated dead body - demon body - fell to the ground from the second story window. Flames consuming the brick and concrete around the window, the wooden window frame crumpled from the heat.
Angel leaped from the second story window rather calmly, trenchcoat flapping behind him. He was kneeling from the fall, head down. Letting the blood covered sword in his hand clatter to the ground, he looked up at the surprised faces staring at him.
"There goes one dead psycho clan leader."
Four heads snapped; four pairs of eyes stared.
Then, four voices all at once said the same word.
"Angel?"
He looked annoyed. "I think I need to get a new coat. Popped a seam."
One by one, his friends looked at him, surprise, pride, appreciation, and near heartbreak.
Angel stood up, rushing towards Cordelia. "Are you okay?" he asked, not bothering to care about the claw marks on his shoulders, or the fact that he was nearly impaled by a piece of wood. Meanwhile, the three remaining members of the Fang Gang walked a few yards away, giving Angel and Cordy some privacy.
Cordelia stared at him. He's..Asking me if I'm okay? When he's practically falling apart? He kept looking at her, concern in his eyes. Still in vamp face, since his anger hadn't cooled down yet.
"I think that 'later' should be right about now," she said.
Angel drew in an unnecessary breath. He touched his fingers to the small cuts on her cheek and forehead. His face showed real worry. "Are you okay?"
Cordelia felt like crying just then. She'd forgotten about everything that happened for a moment, only thinking about him. Now she remembered, and she felt oddly ashamed of it and all of the worrying and pain she represented in Angel's life and quest for salvation. "I'm sorry," she said randomly, her eyes filling with tears.
"No," Angel whispered. "It's not your fault."
Angel thought he was past the emotion. He thought he was over that feeling of hollowness, - of some part of his soul, gone forever- imagining Cordelia gone. But there she was.
Cordy felt the emotions inside her, warm and full, blissful and painful at the same time. Her chest was bursting, and her head was spinning. She couldn't hold them any longer.
He wasn't just past emotion, he was exploding with emotion.
Cordy jumped into his arms and Angel wrapped her up tight. Before he knew it, he put his lips, gentle and cold, to the cut on her forehead, ignoring the writhing of the demon inside him, the scent of blood so close, but never received.
PleasePlease, she begged silently. Wishing for it.
It came true. His lips found her mouth, and the gentleness gave way to intensity. The kiss she waited for so long. Not just a little peck on the cheek or forehead, it was the kiss. A real one. He kept kissing her, and she was kissing him back hungrily, pressing against him with longing.
Angel was well aware of her small body against him, even her tongue slipping into his mouth, brushing his fangs. He felt the need to just obey her needs, to never let go of her, to cry, to just feel her. Cordy didn't even care he was still vamped.
And right there, he knew he loved her. It wasn't fleeting, and there was nothing schoolyard about it.
God, he loved her.
The Next Day
"I'm well aware of thatCould you put Giles on the phone already?"
Fred leaned on the counter, looking at Wesley. She turned to Gunn who was sitting on the edge of Wesley's desk, slouching.
"Who's he talking to?" Fred asked.
"Dunno. Probably one of those Scooby Gang people back in little Sunnydale on the hellmouth."
"Stop being such a wanker and speak, damn it! What're you trying to say?" The voice shouted, loud enough so even Fred and Gunn could hear it.
"Spike, I've had enough of this. Now if you don't want to cooperate-"
"-What're you going to do? Bloody whine at me to death?"
"Now see here!"
"I won't tell Giiillleeess" Spike said happily in a sing-song voice.
"Cordelia's alive. I just wanted to inform Giles and her - friends. But if you won't listen to reason, then I'll simply-"
"Look at you. All mouth and no trousers. If the girl's fine, I'll tell Giles when he gets back. At least there'll be something to celebrate. Right now, I'll use any excuse for a good ale," Spike murmured, trailing off. Wesley didn't exactly know how shaken up Spike had been from Buffy's death, so he ignored the comment.
"Fine."
"And tell the poofter to go have some fun with his lady while she's still of the living. Look at me. I'm a bloody poet. And damn soberWhere did I put that bottle?"
Wesley rolled his eyes. "Tell Giles," he repeated, then hung up the phone. "Sometimes, I don't know why I even bother."
"Cordy's alive. That's all good," Gunn said, basically summing up the situation.
"OhAnd did you guys see that kiss" Fred smiled dreamily, hugging herself. "He really likes her a lot."
"At least he's happy now. They're both happy."
"I have to apologize to Angel. I should've trusted him." Wesley looked to the stairs, taking a step forward. Gunn put a hand on his shoulder.
"Not now. We gotta leave them alone for a while, all right?"
"Yes. You're right."
"CordeliaYou don't have to- Watch where you put those hands!"
"Shut up. I'm doing this whether you want me to or not."
"But you're moving a little fast there. Hardto keep up."
"Just relax. Haven't you done this before?"
"It's been awhile butnot at this speed."
Cordelia frowned. She sat behind Angel on his bed, her fingers touching the cold flesh of his back. His shoulder was already freshly bandaged, and there was a ace bandage around his midsection, covering the gut wound he got as a souvenir from his fight with that that jerk that caused all of this..trouble.
Angel needed to loosen up. He was already tense. So she decided to give him a massage. A nice, long, and fast massage. Good for himand for her.
"Ugh. Sometimes, you are such a dork."
"But a good looking dork, right?" Angel asked, leering at her.
"OhStop getting so full of yourself." She shook her head, glad that Angel's vampire senses couldn't detect the small grin appearing on her face. The heartbeat thing thoughThat's a problem. "So tell me more about that vision thingy of yours. Did you get the whole cracking of skull feeling?"
"No. Actually, it was more like a hallucination"
"You were taking drugs?"
Angel shook his head. "Of course not. Anyway, you were in it."
"Yeah I know. You told me that. What did I say? What did I wear?" Before Angel could open his mouth, she added, "Oh God. Was I naked? Please tell me I wasn't naked."
"You weren't naked."
"Good. Thanks for not imagining me like that. Or you know, covered in blood."
"WellNow that you mention it"
"Angel!"
"Just kidding, Cordy. You just told me that I should investigate this, and that you weren't wearing the same clothes, so I figured out it was an impostor."
"Oh, really?" Cordy's hands moved upwards, fingers brushing against the back of his neck.
"Yeah. But" Angel cleared his throat. "I had to uh - I had to sing. To get more info." He mentioned this with a sense of pride. Now she can see what I had to go through for her.
"You sang?! Ugh. Not fair. I would've paid to see that." Off Angel's look when he turned to her for a second, she continued, "What did you sing?"
Angel mumbled something incoherently.
"Tell me!" Cordy gave his bandage a poke.
"Hey! All right I had to sing ..'If Living Is Without You'" He admitted.
"Oh." Cordy nodded, then after a beat, she raised an eyebrow. "Never heard of it."
"You - what?" Angel looked incredulous. "It's a classic."
"So says the vamp who considers the record player to be cutting edge," Cordy quipped flawlessly.
"Got me there. I thought you knew about - music? Those kinds of things."
"Enlighten me. Care to sing, oh all knowing drokken killer?" Cordy smirked, her hands tenderly kneading the flesh of his lower back.
"I don't know"
"Please? For wittle old Cordy?" She gave him a bat of those eyelashes.
He cleared his throat again. "I can't live-"
"From the beginning."
"Did you hear this song before?" Angel eyed her suspiciously.
"I choose not to answer that question. From the beginning!" Cordy grinned playfully.
Angel sighed to himself, then relented.
"No, I can't forget this evening. Or your face as you were leaving. But I guess that's just the way the story goes. You always smile but in your eyes your sorrow shows. Yes, it shows." He turned around, her face over his shoulder, close to his. There it was. Angel was smiling. " No, I can't forget tomorrow. When I think of all my sorrow. When I had you there but then I let you go. And now it's only fair that I should let you know. What you should know"
He leaned back a bit, kissing her softly on the mouth. "I can't live, if living is without you. I can't give, I can't give anymoreI can't live, if living is without you. I can't giveI can't give anymoorrrrrreeee!" He growled, turning around. Angel pulled Cordy into his lap, laughed as she squealed.
"I can see you giving these hot shot singers a run for their money. Pretty soon you'll be the dead version of Ricky Martin," Cordy drawled.
"Whatever you want." Angel roughly kissed her against the mouth, listening to her muffled sound of surprise. "I thought I lost you," he added seriously.
"A promise is a promise."
"That's right. And I'll never let you go ever again. I shouldn't have let you come along-"
Cordy put a finger to his lips. "Don't. You didn't know what was going to happen. We both didn't know. All that matters is that we're here now, right?"
"Yeah, but"
"Angel, please. I can't" Cordelia sighed heavily, leaning her head against his shoulder. He hugged her close, listening to her breathe. Such a wonderful, precious thing, even more so when coming from her. Because it meant she was alive.
"When I - When I was captured and when you were fighting that evil leader guy, I kept thinking. About you. About us. I don't know if I can be around you. Because you always have to save me, and you have other stuff to worry about. Other people."
"Cordelia, that's not true. Sure, I got nearly impaled, decapitated, almost stuck as something elseBut I did all those things because I-"
"You what?"
"I love you."
"You do?" She asked in a small voice.
"Yes. I'm just an idiot for not realizing it sooner."
"OhGod, Angel, you know how long I waited for you to say that? I love you, too" She repeated. "...I'm not sure if this can work, though"
"We can try. You should've let me know more quickly," he said, echoing his thoughts from their conversation underneath the warehouse.
"Hey. Don't blame me. If it wasn't for you and your little infatuation- Your weakness with blondes, then I might've said something earlier."
Angel looked at those pouting lips. "You know You're cute when you do that."
"As if I'm not cute all the time? Oh, please!" Cordy gave his shoulder a poke, but there was a hint of hurt in her tone, mixed with playfulness.
"You know what I mean" Angel's voice faded. It's odd, when you think about it. A year ago, I would've jumped at the opportunity of being with Buffy again. I even gave up my humanity for her. Cordy liked Doyle, but she was too proud to admit it. And then, he died, leading us to get closer.
At that time, I never thought I would fall in love with her.
But it was inevitable, wasn't it? Destined. I don't even want to use those terms though, since in some ways, I was destined to find Buffy.
Destined to leave her, and come to LA. It wasn't pure coincidence that I saw Cordelia again at that part that one night. Maybe in some faint way, the Powers That Be didn't mean for me to help ..Tina. She was just a pawn in the grand scheme of things.
Was I meant to locate Tina, to go with her to that party to find my real purpose? That I was supposed to help Cordelia?
Was I meant to fall in love with her?
"Earth to Angel? You alive? Uhworking properly?" Cordelia looked at him with concern. She twirled a strand of his spiked brown hair. "Are you all right?"
"I'm more than all right. I'm with you, aren't I?" Angel lifted his chin, planting a soft and slow kiss on her waiting mouth. "And I'm working fine," he growled.
Cordelia pulled away from him, lying back on his bed. He turned to look at her, appreciating her small form. She was wearing one of his dark silk shirts, the sleeves rolled up. And a little pair of black underwear. These was a colorful bandage on her forehead, bright blue, a contrast to her mildly dark outfit.
Somewhat of an outfitBecause, see, there's all that skin
Angel shook his said, chuckled softly. "What do we do now?"
"What do you mean?"
"Obviously, you're still resting up from that hell hole, so I think I'm going to go make you some tea."
Cordy sat up slightly, resting on her elbows. "What?! But Angel-"
Angel shook his head. "No 'buts'. You're still weak, Cordelia. I'm not going to take advantage of you."
"Ohreally?"
"Yeah."
"Pfft." She lashed out a foot at his bandaged shoulder, watching him wince in pain and fall back, lying on the bed next to her. "And I'm the one who's weak?"
"Point taken. I- I did that on purpose," He replied, nodding enthusiastically.
"Sure, you did." She sat up, swinging her legs about so she straddled his chest. "Don't even start. You're weak too."
"Yeah, but I'm a vampire."
"So?"
"I can heal quickly, Cordelia."
"Until then, I'm restricting you to this bed. Seer's orders," She instructed, using her serious voice, though far from it. Cordy poked Angel, trailing her finger along his chest, past his shoulders and up to his neck.
"I think I'm a little too old to be taking Doctor's orders," Angel pointed out.
"Seer's orders. They're different. Plus, you're only 248. Kinda young."
"Two forty seven!"
"Well, excuse me!" After slipping her fingers through his hair, she leaned down, planting a kiss on his mouth. "I swear you're like one of those airhead actresses trying to cover up their age."
Angel looked pleased. "Less talking. More action. Kiss me again."
"Guess even seers have to take orders sometime." Her eyes held with his for a moment, then lips soon followed. Cordelia melted into the kiss, and all the harboring feelings of guilt, and pain, and anguish diminished. They would still be there, but she and Angel could work at that.
Besides. One moment of true happiness, right? Well, in the meantime, they could get pretty darn happy without breaking that clause.
Cordelia would make sure of that.
END
