The Nightmare Begins: The MUSICAL! (Act 2)


Scene 1: A Street on Earth

As the curtain rises, the Voot Cruiser is above a normal looking Earth street with a vacant space between two buildings.

After Months of Endless Searching
Gir: Doom, doom doom... Doom, doom doom...

Zim: After months of endless searching
Through the great unknown,
Gir: Doom doom...
Zim: I've found the planet I'll be researching
Which will be overthrown!
Gir: Doom, doom doom!

Zim: And my quest lays right before me
Like a... big... questy thing.
Gir: Doom doom...
Zim: I'll conquer, and all Irk will adore me
To my glory they will sing!
Gir : Doom, doom doom!

Zim: Months of flying past the planets finally bear their fruit.
I'll conquer and enslave and there will be no substitute
In my great masterful plan against these vile Earth stink beasts!
Gir: Doom doom doom doom doom!

Zim: Now the next great task before me is to find a place,
Which can serve for Gir and me as our strategic planning base
Until all of the Earthenoids are finally deceased!
Gir: Doom doom doom doom doom!

Zim, speaking: Gir, will you stop that!?

Gir, speaking: Okee-dokey!

Zim points to the vacant spot.

Zim: Ah, that looks like a decent spot
For us to build our home.
Gir: Gloom gloom...
Zim: From which I and my robot
Will have ample chance to roam.
Gir: Gloom, gloom gloom!

Zim eyes Gir, then both get out of the Voot Cruiser and walk towards the empty spot.

Zim: Now, something's missing... wait, we need
Something with which to disguise us.
Gir: Gloom gloom...
Zim: With BRILLIANT costumes we'll recede
To the background, none will recognize us!
Gir: Gloom, gloom gloom!

Zim and Gir put on their 'Earthling' disguises.

Zim: After months of searching, we'll have a permanent home at last,
Though, given my genius at conquering, we will leave it pretty fast.
But for a while we'll call it home, until our task is done.
Gir: Gloom gloom gloom gloom gloom!

Zim: Let's make our dwelling, but, remember Gir, you must try to be quiet,
Since if the Earthenoids suspect a thing, there's danger of a riot.
We don't want our mission to fail before it's even begun.
Gir: Gloom gloom gloom gloom gloom!

Zim: And now, the time finally is here...
Let our new house suddenly appear!

Zim and Gir run a distance away. There is a very loud musical flourish as the house appears on stage. People look out their windows at the spectacle. Zim and Gir walk in the house.

Zim, speaking: Ooooh, that went smoothly! Now for the next part of our mission. Gir, we'll need your advanced data processing skills so we can proceed with our research.

Gir, speaking: With what?

Zim, speaking: Let me explain...

Dancing Like a Monkey (The Gir Song)
Zim: To take this filthy planet
And finish my great task
Ever since I had began it
I knew that I must ask

What are the Earth's strengths and flaws?
To my robot, I'll defer
Robot slave, what will cause
Earth's destuction? Tell me, Gir!

Pause.

Zim, speaking: Gir, what are you doing?

Gir: I'm...
Dancing like a monkey
Squeaking like a mongoose
Singing really funky
Prancing like a big moose

Woo hoo! You'll love it if you give it a chance
Just do the monkey dance!

Zim: Cease and desist! We've got lots of work.
There's task upon task for us to do
If this filthy planet is to be part of Irk.
So help me now, Gir... Eh? What are you up to?

Gir: I'm eating lots of tacos,
Pizza topped with honey
Chomping on some nachos,
With some sauce that's yummy

Zim: Oh, Gir?
Gir: Yes, sir?
Zim: Why are we here on the Earth?
Gir: To plunder it for what it's worth.
Zim: Yes, and what are you supposed to do?
Gir: Find tidbits about Earth for you.
Zim: Good, now are you ready to go?
Gir: I... don't... know!

Zim, speaking: Gir!

Gir: I'm getting really dirty
Prowling like a stray cat
Singing like a birdy
Howling like a wombat

Gir, speaking: C'mon, do a little dance...
Zim, speaking: Do you have no dignity?
Gir, speaking: C'mon...
Zim, speaking: Will you behave then?
Gir, speaking: Do a little dance...
Zim, speaking: Fine...

Zim halfheartedly joins in.

Gir and Zim: We're...
Dancing like a monkey
Squeaking like a mongoose
Singing really funky
Prancing like a big moose

Woo hoo! You'll love it if you give it a chance
Just do the monkey dance!

Zim, speaking: Now will you help with the mission?

Gir, speaking: With what?

Zim, speaking: Gah! I guess I'll need another way to find information about this miserable planet. Computer!

Computer, speaking: Yes, sir?

Zim, speaking: How do these Earth creatures get information? Tell me...

Computer, speaking: Well, there's an institution called 'Skool'...

Zim, speaking: Tell me more about this... skool.

Blackout.


Scene 2: Skool

Ms. Bitters, speaking: Class, I would like to introduce the newest hopeless appendage to our student body. Zim, do you have anything to say?

Zim, speaking: I am a perfectly normal human worm baby.

Zim takes hes seat. Dib is frozen in a state of shock.

Dib: Does anyone else see the alien in our class?

Silence.

The Dib Song
Dib: Look at Zim!
Yes, look at him.
It's obvious this is a scam.
Zim: I am who I say I am.

Dib: His skin is green,
His ears: unseen!
You guys should really check your vision!
Zim: But that's just my... uh, skin condition!

Kids' Chorus:
Oh, that Dib!
He has flipped his lid.
If he really does believe in
All the things he keeps conceivin'

Kid: Like werewolves, poltergeists...
Kid2: Zombies, and mutant mice.
Kid3: Don't forget that bigfoot kid!
Dib: But I saw him, I really did!

Zim: Dib creature, shush!
You're obviously touched.
Remember when Dib said that he...
Dib: You just got here!
Zim: Oh, silly me.

Kids' Chorus:
Oh, that Dib!
He has flipped his lid
If he really does believe in
All the things he keeps conceivin'

Dib: I'll show you!
Once I expose his true
Identity you'll see
You should have believed me!

When I save the Earth
You all will see my worth.
And you'll regret that you did doubt
All I had told you about .

Kids' Chorus:
Oh, that Dib!
He has flipped his lid
If he really does believe in
All the things he keeps conceivin'

Bitters: Enough! Now pay attention...

Ms. Bitters goes over to the chalkboard.

Doomed
The universe emerged from nothing,
Just an empty, meaningless void .
Before the big bang, I'm not bluffing,
There was no star or asteroid.

Now the universe exists,
And life exists as well.
And everyone here persists,
In ignoring the final knell.

For from the first day you breathe air,
You are fated to be entombed.
And so everybody, everywhere
Is ultimately doomed.

Spooky echo: Doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed...
Doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed...

Bitters: Sing 'Ring Around the Rosie'
With your little classmates
There's something you don't know; see
You are signalling the fates

The song is really dealing with
An old fatal disease
That was passed, or so goes the myth
On disgusting rats' fleas

So people sang about the fate
For which they had been groomed.
And they knew that, before too late
They also would be doomed.

Spooky echo: Doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed...
Doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed...

Bitters: You young children cannot wait
For callings to pursue
But bureaucracy is the true fate
That awaits all of you

You'll all be placed in thankless jobs
For which you'll be a slave.
And you will act as mindless slobs
Until you reach the grave.

Your hopes and dreams will all be crushed
They all will be consumed.
You're foolish to be so rushed
To grow up; you are doomed.

Spooky echo: Doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed...
Doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed...

Bitters: Some people hope to leave a mark
For all eternity
Through works of art they hope to spark
A light for all to see

But that glory shouldn't be sought;
It's futile, as you'll learn.
As our universe came from naught,
To naught it will return.

Those who try to leave an impact
Don't know that failure loomed
Above them all the time; in fact
Each single soul is doomed.

Spooky echo: Doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed...
Doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed...

Bitters, speaking: Go. Now!

Everyone, except for Zim and Dib, leaves the room.

Dib, speaking: You may have won this time, but I'll prove to everyone that you're an alien.

Zim, speaking: They won't believe you.

Dib, speaking: They will if I show you to them without your disguise. And with these alien-catching handcuffs you won't be able to escape!

Doomed (Reprise)
Dib: Though aliens may try to take
This planet, I am able
To stop your plans, and I'll make
Sure you're on an autopsy table

You'll never get to conquer Earth
To that oath I am bound.
I will not let you take our turf
While I am still around.

And, so, Zim, it is time to go.
For my victory make room.
For my future fame, glory, and dough
And the... Zim-thingy race's doom.

Zim begins talking/singing into a wrist communication device.

Zim's Escape
Zim: Gir, oh Gir!
This is an emer-
Gency... you see,
Somebody
Is trying to destroy me!

Where are you Gir?
I am in great danger!
I need your aid!
If I will have stayed
I'll never ever raid...

Gir appears.

Ha, Dib, it looks like I'll make my escape now.
Nice try, but you could never reach my great ability!
No fib, I know that one day you will have to bow,
And glorify me, Zim! It's the only possibility!

Zim escapes with Gir.

Dib: Grrr... Yes, sir,
He went by in a blur
Now how will I
Find Zim, oh my,
I think I'll find that guy!

Dib finds something on the ground.

Look, it's green fur...
I really must infer
If I can use
The trail, I won't lose
I'll end Zim's ruse!

Oh Zim, I will follow until I can unmask you!
You may have the weapons and technology,
But dimness will prove fatal, I know it's true.
One day I'll best you, just wait and see!

Blackout.


Scene 3: The Street Outside Zim's Base

Zim and Gir are standing outside the base.

Zim, speaking: Whew, that was a close one! Good work, Gir. Now to continue with the mission!

Dib, speaking from offstage: Not so fast!

Dib runs up to Zim.

The Final Confrontation
Dib: I've waited all my life for the day I could
Finally back my beliefs with proof.
And finally nobody around me would
See aliens as anything but truth.

I won't give in though you may try to escape;
I'll wait until I can get something concrete.
I'll catch your true identity on a tape
And then I'll smile as I see your defeat!

I'll get you soon, Zim, and I'll be
Famous for your autopsy!

Zim: Your confidence is really overstated.
To think that someone pitiful as you
Could go against an Irken; you have rated
Yourself too far above what you can do.

I'd laugh at you if you weren't so pathetic.
Oh well, I think I'll chuckle nonetheless.
You should stop now, or you will need a medic,
For my enmity will give you lots of stress.

Now go, Dib child, or you will see
The full wrath of Irk's army!

Dib: You think I can be swayed by empty boasting?
Not when it's the whole planet that's at stake!
Zim: Fine, be that way... But I will be toasting
Your sad defeat when this planet I take!

Zim goes inside the house.

Dib: You just can't hide forever; I'll be waiting
And, until you leave your house I won't be moved!
Zim: Oh, stop all this ruckus you're creating
I think your mood can quickly be improved...

Gnomes, attack him, let him know
That in Zim he has a mighty foe!

Gnomes attack Dib, and he runs to the other side of the stage. A spotlight falls on Dib.

Why Do They Never Understand (Reprise)
Dib: Why did it not work as planned?
I just cannot understand.
The alien comes, yet no one can see.

But they'll soon see what's so clear
And they'll shed a forlorn tear
For the way in which they had judged me...

When I have proof of Zim,
Everyone, both smart and dim,
Will acknowledge what I've done.
I will be the special one.
Yes, my life's purpose has begun!

Dib's spotlight fades, and another spotlight falls on Zim, who seems to be speaking into a monitor. A third spotlight falls on the Tallest, who are watching Zim's transmission.

Zim's Transmission
Zim: My Tallest, all has gone as planned
And under my august command
I'm certain I will take this land
For Irk's eternal glory!

Purple: Hello... Zim, you're still alive?
I mean, we knew that you'd survive.
Red: It's... so great to see you arrive
Yes, really hunky-dory!

Transmission ends, and the Tallest give each other weird looks.

Victory is Mine
Zim: Victory is mine, yes, I can feel it!
Victory sublime, it's so real it
Feels like I will succeed before long.

Through victory I'll prove myself,
And I do not delude myself,
For how could my great genius be wrong?

It's so close, I can taste it,
Tallest, your trust was not wasted
For victory is mine, yes, victory... is mine!

For I... was born to be an invader!
I can't think of a destiny that's greater!
My single great desire
Is to serve Irk's vast empire!

I know I... will soon create my share
Of the planet Earth's destruction and despair!
I will make history
And all Irk will applaud ME!

For I...

Entire cast comes out.

Cast: Yes he... was born to be an invader!
His fate is to be an Irken planetary raider!
He may lack common sense
But he still has confidence.

And you see...
That's what will bring him vic... to... ry!

Cast bows, and curtain falls.


THE END
This production was made possible by a generous grant from the Highfalutin Foundation for the Arts and the MacMeaties Corporation.