Please Don't Scream.

The Sequel to "Who cares what you did last summer."



Scene 1: The Scream Dream

Ghost face is in the kitchen about to make some popcorn. His phone rings.

He picks it up.

Ghostface: Hello

Voice on phone: Who is this?

Ghostface: Who are you trying to reach?

Voice on phone: What number is this?

Ghostface: What number are you trying to reach?

Voice on phone: Who is this?

Ghostface: You've said that.

Voice on phone: Isn't it you're line?

Ghostface: I don't know. Prompter!

Prompter: Um, where are we up to?

Ghostface: Dumb idiot. (He stabs the prompter many times and grabs the script)

Okay I've got it now. You say wait.

Voice on phone: Wait.

Ghostface: What?

Voice on phone: I want to talk.

Ghostface: Then ring my mum, she's a real talker. See ya.

He hangs up the phone but it rings again.

Ghostface: Hello.

Voice on phone: Hello Sydney.

Ghostface: Sydney? Who is this?

Voice on phone: What? Do you mean this isn't Sydney, you know Neve Campbell.

Ghostface: Huh?

Voice on phone: You know from Party of Five.

Ghostface: No. Who is this?

Voice on phone: Who would you like it to be?

Ghostface: I don't like games. Except twister.

Voice on phone: Twister sucks.

Ghostface: Please, who is this?

Voice on phone: You tell me your name and I'll tell you mine.

Ghostface: Well I am ah Drew Barrymore. (Girl voice): Yes it's me Drew, hello.

Voice on phone: (Sinister laugh) Oh sure. Ghostface.

Ghostface runs to door and locks it and starts walking backwards.

Ghostface falls over a chair.

Voice on phone: What's that noise?

Ghostface runs over to the popcorn machine and turns it on.

Ghostface: I'm making popcorn.

Voice on phone: I usually have popcorn when I'm at the movies.

Ghostface: Well I'm about to watch a movie.

Voice on phone: Really? What?

Ghostface: Just some Scary Movie.

Voice on phone: Do you like scary movies?

Ghostface: Ah-ha.

Voice on phone: What's your favourite?

Ghostface: Um Halloween.

Voice on phone: No it's not! It's the middle of March.

Ghostface: Then it must be ahhh Friday the 13th!

Voice on phone: Sorry but it's Monday the 6th. Wrong again!

Ghostface: No I mean the titles of movies.

Voice on phone: Movies! They aren't movies. Name some real movies.

Ghostface: I know what you did last summer.

Voice on phone: You do! But how could you, I was all alone. Please don't say anything about my secret?

Ghostface: What secret?

Voice on phone: You know… how I ran over that guy and threw his body in the ocean.

Ghostface: But don't you kill people for a living?

Voice on phone: Oh yeah.

Ghostface: I've got a better movie title.

Voice on phone: What is it?

Ghostface: Scream.

Voice on phone: (Screams) Now what?

Ghostface: No, the movie title Scream.

Voice on phone: Think of a proper scary movie now!

Ghostface: Ah Gremlins.

Voice on phone: Gremlins! Is that the best you can think of?

Ghostface: Listen Freddy, you've had your fun I'm going to hang up.

Voice on phone: What would you do if I told you this isn't Freddy?

Ghostface: I'd hang up.

Voice on phone: This isn't Freddy. Don't hang up on me.

Ghostface hangs up and runs over to his popcorn.

Ghostface: Who does Freddy think he is? He isn't scaring anybody.

The cordless phone rings.

Ghostface: Yes!

Voice on phone: I told you not to hang up on me.

Ghostface: Come on Freddy this isn't funny anymore.

Voice on phone: This isn't Freddy.

Ghostface: Oh yeah (He looks at Caller ID it says Not Freddy) Oh no!

Voice on phone: Do you have a girlfriend?

Ghostface: Why, do you want to ask me out?

Voice on phone: Uhhh! No!

Ghostface: Then why?

Voice on phone: Why do you think?

Ghostface: Why do you always answer a question with a question?

Voice on phone: Why do you think I always answer a question with a question?

Ghostface: Listen ass hole

Voice on phone: No you listen you ugly bastard, you hang up on me again and I'll, I'll… Well I'll think of something evil to do.

Ghostface: This has gone on long enough. I am two seconds away from calling the police.

Voice on phone: They'd never get here in time. We're all alone out here. Do you want to die tonight? Your hamster didn't.

Ghostface: You monster! How dare you kill Rodney! Damn you!

A noise is heard outside.

Ghostface: A strange noise, I'd better go investigate.

He is about to leave the house.

Ghostface starts to turn the doorknob.

The phone rings.

Ghostface stops and answers it.

Voice on phone: Didn't you see ET? You never go outside to investigate a strange noise! You might meet a kind, gentle alien or something! Anyway I don't want to kill you. Yet.

Ghostface: What do you want?

Voice on phone: To know what your insides look like.

Ghostface: Oh, well I'll show you. (He gets a knife and cuts his stomach he pulls out some sausages in sauce) Here's my intestine

Voice on phone: Put them back. You know you never did tell me your name.

Ghostface: Why do you want to know my name?

Voice on phone: I want to know who I'm looking at.

Ghostface: What did you just say?

Voice on phone: I want to know who I'm looking at.

Ghostface: What did you just say?

Voice on phone: I want to know who I'm talking too.

Ghostface: Phew, I thought you said I want to know who I'm looking at.

Voice on phone: How do you know I didn't say that?

Ghostface: Well I can easily check.

Ghostface turns on the TV and rewinds a tape a bit.

On TV:

Voice on phone: I want to who I'm looking at.

In real life:

Voice on phone: See I said I want to know who I'm talking too.

Ghostface: That's not what you said.

He goes over to dining room window and turns on the light.

A girl in a ghostface mask is out there.

Ghostface: No!

Voice on phone: Oh! She's not meant to be out there until the second time you turn on the light.

He runs over and opens the door.

Voice on phone: I wouldn't do that if I were you!

Voice on phone: What are you going to do to save your wife?

Ghostface: Wife! I don't care about my wife; I'll just buy a new one tomorrow. I'm worried about my beautiful green chair.

Voice on phone: Oh! Um that's not your wife that's your garbage man.

Ghostface: No! Not the garbage man! Please don't hurt him.

Voice on phone: That all depends on you. If you want to save the garbage man you must answer correctly the following questions.

Ghostface: No.

Voice on phone: Come on I'll even give you a warm up question. What's the name of the cute furry gremlin from the movie Gremlins?

Ghostface: Please, no.

Voice on phone: Come on it's your favourite movie.

Ghostface: Gizmo.

Voice on phone: Yes we have a winner! And now the real questions. Same category. Who's the actor who plays Dracula in Dracula Dead and loving it?

Ghostface: No!

Voice on phone: Maybe I'll just kill the garbage man now.

Ghostface: Liam Neeson!

Voice on phone: Hooray you got it wrong!

Ghostface: No I didn't I've seen that movie twenty times, wait I only saw it once, no I didn't even see half of it, actually I went and did the dishes while it was on.

Voice on phone: Then you should know it was Leslie Nelson. Lucky for you there's a bonus round but poor garbage man. He's out.

Chopping sound's are heard.

Ghostface looks and sees Garbage man dead. He starts crying.

Voice on phone: Hey, I haven't finished with you.

Ghostface picks the phone back up.

Voice on phone: Last question. If you get it right, you live, wrong you die. Simple isn't it? Which door am I at the front door or the back door?

Ghostface: Look can you ring me back tomorrow because I'm rather busy tonight.

Voice on phone: No. So which door am I at?

Ghostface looks out peephole of front door. No one is there.

Ghostface: Backdoor.

Voice on phone: No.

Ghostface looks out back door. No one is there.

Ghostface: Front door.

Voice on phone: Wrong again.

Ghostface: Well I'd like to use one of my lifelines.

Voice on phone: Okay. Which one ask the audience, ring a friend or 50/50?

Ghostface: Ring a friend.

Voice on phone: I'll hold.

Ghostface dials 00.

Voice on phone: No you can't ring the police.

Ghostface goes to the yellow pages.

Voice on phone: Oh you're taking too long.

He throws a chair through the window. (Scream footage)

Ghostface turns around: Noooo!

Scary Voice runs at him with a knife.

Ghostface runs outside to the front yard.

Scary Voice follows him.

Scary Voice grabs Ghostface around the neck and is about to stab him…