FF7 Spring Break

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Notes: FF7 is property of squaresoft all other animes and games are owned by there respective owners the HMC is property of the HMC and those that feel the need to copy it should just inhale a well placed cassette tape and just Choke and die no saving roll no heimlich maneuver they just choke and die no Buts just choke and die

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CH.2 No need for decapitation

Cloud: were HERE!!!!!!

Cid: woohoo spring break!!!!!

Yuffie: *wanders off to find a fake ID*

Tifa:*heads off to the nearest bar Aeris in close pursuit as loud screams of denial of which one cloud loves echoing off into the distance*

RedXII: Hey you freaky cat thing lets go do something so the author doesnt have to write about us

Cait Sith: i cant figure it out why am i so hated *while flipping through an old issue of gamepro*

*Ignatius suddenly beams down in a ray of light Therius erupts from the ground in a ball of leaping flames and Cecil rides in on a pogo stick whilst yelling 'im number one!!!!' Ignatius taps cid on the shoulder then appears behind him pushes him over and takes his concealed script Therius immediatly runs into the darkest corner of an alley and surrounds himself in candles Cecil begins chasing a woman down the street and yelling ' hey wait you look just like Aisha!!!!!!' then ' i can see myself in the eyes of the children and oh how it burns!!!' they then dissapear in the same matter they appeared *

Cid:*after his attack he stumbles into the nearest bar in order to not screw up the script he forgot to read*

Cloud: hey vincent i guess that leaves you and me

Vincent:.........

* cloud and vincent wander off to find some drunken colledge girls*

Barret:* wanders off swearing under his breath after Cid*

Yuffie: so this thing will get me into all of the bars in town?

Man cloaked in shadow: yeah all of them MWA HA HA HA HA HA

Yuffie: whats up with the evil laugh?

Man cloaked in shadow: umm i have a cold?

Yuffie: oh im sorry... * waits for the man to turn and leave and steals his wallet *

*Man in shadow wanders off to buy a hotdog while thinking mmmm pancakes*

Yuffie:*then walks into the nearest bar its filled with people she sits down and notices a figure shadowed in darkness*

Shadowed man: do you know who i am?

Yuffie: no

Shadowed man: you sure?

Yuffie: yes

* the man then steps out to reveal hes the one and only the person responisible for meteor the person responsible for one winged angel the one and only THE POPE!!!!!!!*

The pope :Greetings

Yuffie{Weaseling out of things is good. It's what separates us from other animals... except weasels} :hey again

yuffie{Weaseling out of things is good. It's what separates us from other animals... except weasels} :how're you doin?

The pope :the same as always

The pope says:you?

Yuffie{Weaseling out of things is good. It's what separates us from other animals... except weasels} says:i can't complain

The pope :make sure not to bleed out your ears

Yuffie{Weaseling out of things is good. It's what separates us from other animals... except weasels} :ok, ill keep that in mind

The pope :heh

The pope:you remind me of a yak that I once knew

The pope:

its name was billy

Yuffie{Weaseling out of things is good. It's what separates us from other animals... except weasels} :

a yak? as in the animal? and billy as in a boy?

The pope:he was a fine young yak that I knew from the chicken war of '47

The pope:I once took a bullet for him but then I gave it back

Yuffie{Weaseling out of things is good. It's what separates us from other animals... except weasels} says:i think your a little eccentric

The pope:*squints and looks Yuffie in the eye* Is that you Billy?

yuffie {Weaseling out of things is good. It's what separates us from other animals... except weasels} says:no! it's not

The pope:Ok Billy

The pope:Hows the Hoof?

yuffie{Weaseling out of things is good. It's what separates us from other animals... except weasels} :...

The pope:What? Christmas you say? Heres 10 shillings go buy the biggest slab of beef in the house!

The pope:*tosses Yuffie 10 cents*

The pope:Go now young Grasshopper!

Yuffie{Weaseling out of things is good. It's what separates us from other animals... except weasels} :i though i was a yak?

The pope:SO you are Billy!

The pope:I knew it all Along!

The pope:You aren't gonna slap me now are you?

The pope:*Huddles in the corner* Dont hurt me

The pope :Ill give you a dollar

Yuffie{Weaseling out of things is good. It's what separates us from other animals... except weasels} :hmm... well a dollar could do me a world of good... sure, ill take it!

The pope:*hands Yuffie a dollar that has been burned repeatedly*

The pope:it was my wood

The pope:*Pulls out the skinned face of some old man and wears it on his face*

The pope:I am Him

The pope:I AM HIM!

The pope:your not him

The pope:I AM HIM!

Yuffie{Weaseling out of things is good. It's what separates us from other animals... except weasels} :* Goes 0 _ o*

Yuffie{Weaseling out of things is good. It's what separates us from other animals... except weasels} :fine

* The possibly drunk pope wanders out of the bulding*

Yuffie: that was just a BIT disturbing......

MEANWHILE.......

Man cloaked in shadow eating a hotdog: mmmmm pancakes i mean.....mmmmmm pancakes....

Hot dog vendor: three bucks bub

Man cloaked in shadow eating a hotdog: ok * digs for wallet* hey my moneys gone

Hot dog vendor : looks like you'll be selling hot dogs for a while bub

Man cloaked in shadow eating a hotdog: * pulls out the masamune and slashes the man into a pile of gore* mmm......gore i mean.......mmmmm pancakes..........

MEANWHILE.........

Cid : you know what barret

Barret: what?

Cid: you know what barret

Barret: what?

Cid: oh i didnt think you were lishening but you know that cloud guy?

Barret:yeah

Cid: hehhehehheheeeeeeeeheeeeee

Barret: what the *&^% are you laughing at Shid

Cid:* climbs up the tower of wine glasses in the center of the bar* LOOooooKKkkkkkk AAaaaTTT meeEE im LEONARDO DecccccccacacaaaaprioooooOOOooooo

* Barret and Shid.....i mean Cid find themselves flat on their asses outside of the bar

Cid: ohhhh man I think i had a few too many drinksh

Barret:.....

Cid : oh man Barretsh passssssSsssed out

MEANWHILE........

* Vincent and Cloud are being chased by hundreds of FF7 fans that dont seem to care how much mace is sprayed in theyre eyes by riot police*

MEANWHILE.......

*Cait Sith and RedXII are floating in the void of the authors unused characters*

RedXII: you know the only reason we're here is because people hate you

Cait Sith: you know Cat Dog Liony thing whatever the ^%## you are your begginning to get on my nerves

MEANWHILE.....(this is the last meanwhile in the story i promise....... wait...doh i just said meanwhile again.....ARGH!! AND AGAIN im just going to stop talking NOW)

*aeris and Tifa have finished in the bar and have gone to the nearest store*

Aeris: so how much did you pay for those cantoloupes?

Tifa: they were 75 Dollars a pound......

Aeris: i see....... isnt that a little expensive for fruit?

Tifa:......yes....Ahem....fruit.......

Tifa: I wonder where the others are right now without us.........

*Tifas mind* Cloud Vincent and the others - Tifa are all sitting around a campfire singing songs of old.........

Tifa: wait that isnt good....... with me its......

*tifas mind* everyone is in the 7th heaven fighting drunkly over everything as barret hits Cid with a chair and cloud throws vincent across the room

Aeris: me too hmmm..........

*Aeris mind* everyone is starving to death because no one knows how to cook besides Yuffie who for some reason has a diet pill addiction.......

Aeris: hmm

ALL THE WHILE........(see I didnt say meanwhile..........DOH!)

Vincent: so your saying that brain surgery is common in optomotrist offices?

Cloud: Yep pretty funny eh

Vincent:...............................

Cloud: Your not going to say im a complete moron are you?

Vincent: I dont have to you did it for me

Cloud: oh i see...................... Wait that was an insult!

Vincent: no *&%$ sherlock

Cloud: see you DO think im smart

Vincent:..........................moron............

Cloud: what was that?

end act 2

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So you people think that me Therius and Cecil should write more? well then review !!!!!!!

if you think we should drop dead and give up fanfiction well lie and say you want us to write more!!!!!

And if you believe that we will break all of your limbs if we dont get good reviews........then you'd be right.......

Sincerely: Therius Akira

Sighned: Ignatius Gardenia

I want AISHA!!!!!!: Cecil Ardenos