Past of Pain, Future of Pleasure
Chapter 2 - What Happened - Goten's Point of View
By Lady Bulma
Disclaimer: I do not claim to own any part of Dragon Ball/Z/GT.
A/N: Well this chapter is written from Goten's point of view, just like the title says. This one doesn't explain much. It just tells what happened from Goten's point of view.
Quote: "Kublai Khan is your god!" -T chan
And as you know, I have adjusted the ages to fit the story.
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That day was the worst of my life. The emotions I felt, the confusion I went through, I was ripped apart over and over again. And all of what happened that day, was my fault. I'm an asshole. I treated her terribly. I didn't really trust in her. Maybe it was because of my bad luck in past relationships, maybe it was because I just get jealous easily, well whatever the reason, I have no excuse for what I did. I'm a jerk. I'm an asshole. I deserve to suffer. When I found out I had been mistaken I just lost my mental status completely. I just sank into this deep depression and thought period. I basically locked myself away in my room for a week... just sitting there... thinking... So many thoughts came to me then. I wanted out of the pain so badly. I could have killed myself. Part of me wanted to kill myself. She was the only reason that I did not. I wanted to stick around and watch her, even if it was from a distance. I just wanted to make sure she was safe in life. All settled and happy, even though it wouldn't be with me.
She distanced herself so much from me after that day. Actually, we never officially broke up... we just kind of seperated. Seeing her again today made me smile so much. It was my first time getting a really good look at her since...that day. I longed to hold her in my arms just one more time. To feel her lips brushing against mine... What a fool I was.
Those memories I have of us being together are kept safe within my heart. I have not sharred them with anyone. We were so incredibly happy then. The world was passing us by and we didn't have a single care about it. It was just she and I together forever. Together until I became an idiot I should say. I quickly jumped to conclusions then. I never thought anything out. Nothing in my life had ever called upon me to think things out like that before. It was a truly a challenge; one that I failed.
I was in the mall, looking for a gift for her. I just felt like buying her something and showing her how much I loved her. Though I was having a hard time picking between that dress she had been looking at before or the cd she wanted. I just could not decide. And so to help me think, I decided to walk around the mall in circles until I decided. With my eyes fixed on the floor, I waisted the entire morning just walking. And as I walked and passed by store windows only more ideas came to my mind making the decision difficult. I was beginning to become frustrated and my thoughts were becoming confusing. I sort of zoned out, angry with myself for not being able to just pick out one gift. And that was when I noticed Bra talking with some other guy. She did not see me, so I decided to just kind of keep my distance and watch her. I smiled then. She was so pretty and her smile was so bright and joyful. I haven't seen her smile like that from the few glances I've gotten of her over the past few months. But back then, she smiled beautifully.
I followed him an her, keeping my distance so as to not be seen. I just was curious as to what they were up to since I did not recognize the guy at all. And then I watched as they hugged each other tightly and he planted a kiss on her forehead. With his arm wrapped around her shoulders and her's resting on his, I felt my heart ripping apart. I could not believe what I had just seen. Here I had spent all morning shopping for her, and this was what I got for it?! Rage blinded me, and anger steered me to them where I then proceeded to tell her off for the crime I thought she had committed. It was only I who committed a crime that day. I wish I could just turn back time and erase myself from ever getting angry, but what is done is done, and there is nothing I can do about it.
I stormed off to my car. Anyone who got in my way I pushed them back out of it. I did not care who I was hurting or what I was doing. All I knew was that I was angry, confused, lost, and mostly, hurt. I pratically ripped the doors off their hinges and put a hole in a wall as I passed it. That hole is still there. It always reminds me of then whenever I see it. Its symbolic in a way. Its like the hole that was put into me. A hole that I fear will never be filled again. I got into my car cursing the entire time and raced home. I think I broke every speed limit. I did not care. Thankfully for me though, no cops were out on the road.
When I got home, my problems only got worse. My mom started being a mom and mothered me to death trying to find out why I was so angry. Dad was totally oblivious to my anger and tried to tell Mom to leave me alone. I was thankful for that, but it did not work. So I was forced to lock myself away in my room and put up a barrier, taking up more of my little energy. I just sat there on my bed, rocking back and forth as I glarred at the floor. Part of me wanted to cry so badly, yet another part would not let me. So I just sat there starring. I had the worst headache of my life. My stomach felt like someone was putting a spoon into it and digging around. My legs were butter, they just could not support my body. My arms felt very sore. My thoughts though were the worst part. I think at one point I tried to write in my journal, thinking that would make me feel better. The problem was though, my thoughts were just flying by too fast. I just could not focus at all. I heard the phone ringing and automatically my arm reached up and grabbed it. My mind was not quick enough to say I did not really want to speak to anyone. "Hello?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper.
"Goten, what the hell was that about today?" It was Trunks. I could tell by the sound of his voice just how angry he was. I said nothing. "Well?! You had better have a good reason!"
"She....was with....another guy." Some how I made the words come out of my mouth. And it was that time that I broke down really crying for the first time. It just really occured to me then what I had seen.
"Hell yeah she was! Do you know who that other guy was?!" Once again, no words came from me. "Louis." My eyes grew wide.
"THE Louis?!"
"Yes. THE Louis."
"The Louis that everyone loved, but you hate?"
"YES! That Louis!"
"OMG! He's changed a lot since I we all last saw him!"
"Yeah he grew up just like the rest of us."
"Oh...so....B chan was just.....with him as a friend?"
"Yeah." I jumped up and down happily.
"Then it was just a big mistake and she'll forgive me and everything will be happy again!" There was a long silence on the other end of the phone. Silence like that is never a good thing. This just proved that fact again. "Goten.....She's...most likely not going to forgive you. She said to tell me to tell you that...she's never going to speak to you again and that she never wants to see you again. I'm sorry Goten..." I dropped the phone and quickly picked it back up again.
"Well she can be a bit stubborn," I said trying to comfort myself. "She just needs some time to cool off and then things will be good agian. Right?!"
"I don't think so...but its worth hoping for."
And I've been hoping since then, but every day it looks more hopeless. But today, when I saw her, my hope was reborn. I shall continue to wait forever, for the day when she'll forgive me and my stupidity.
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A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I'll try and get the next one out soon. I would expect any where from 1 - 3 more chapters on this story unless I decide to make it longer. Peace everyone! =^_^=
Chapter 2 - What Happened - Goten's Point of View
By Lady Bulma
Disclaimer: I do not claim to own any part of Dragon Ball/Z/GT.
A/N: Well this chapter is written from Goten's point of view, just like the title says. This one doesn't explain much. It just tells what happened from Goten's point of view.
Quote: "Kublai Khan is your god!" -T chan
And as you know, I have adjusted the ages to fit the story.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That day was the worst of my life. The emotions I felt, the confusion I went through, I was ripped apart over and over again. And all of what happened that day, was my fault. I'm an asshole. I treated her terribly. I didn't really trust in her. Maybe it was because of my bad luck in past relationships, maybe it was because I just get jealous easily, well whatever the reason, I have no excuse for what I did. I'm a jerk. I'm an asshole. I deserve to suffer. When I found out I had been mistaken I just lost my mental status completely. I just sank into this deep depression and thought period. I basically locked myself away in my room for a week... just sitting there... thinking... So many thoughts came to me then. I wanted out of the pain so badly. I could have killed myself. Part of me wanted to kill myself. She was the only reason that I did not. I wanted to stick around and watch her, even if it was from a distance. I just wanted to make sure she was safe in life. All settled and happy, even though it wouldn't be with me.
She distanced herself so much from me after that day. Actually, we never officially broke up... we just kind of seperated. Seeing her again today made me smile so much. It was my first time getting a really good look at her since...that day. I longed to hold her in my arms just one more time. To feel her lips brushing against mine... What a fool I was.
Those memories I have of us being together are kept safe within my heart. I have not sharred them with anyone. We were so incredibly happy then. The world was passing us by and we didn't have a single care about it. It was just she and I together forever. Together until I became an idiot I should say. I quickly jumped to conclusions then. I never thought anything out. Nothing in my life had ever called upon me to think things out like that before. It was a truly a challenge; one that I failed.
I was in the mall, looking for a gift for her. I just felt like buying her something and showing her how much I loved her. Though I was having a hard time picking between that dress she had been looking at before or the cd she wanted. I just could not decide. And so to help me think, I decided to walk around the mall in circles until I decided. With my eyes fixed on the floor, I waisted the entire morning just walking. And as I walked and passed by store windows only more ideas came to my mind making the decision difficult. I was beginning to become frustrated and my thoughts were becoming confusing. I sort of zoned out, angry with myself for not being able to just pick out one gift. And that was when I noticed Bra talking with some other guy. She did not see me, so I decided to just kind of keep my distance and watch her. I smiled then. She was so pretty and her smile was so bright and joyful. I haven't seen her smile like that from the few glances I've gotten of her over the past few months. But back then, she smiled beautifully.
I followed him an her, keeping my distance so as to not be seen. I just was curious as to what they were up to since I did not recognize the guy at all. And then I watched as they hugged each other tightly and he planted a kiss on her forehead. With his arm wrapped around her shoulders and her's resting on his, I felt my heart ripping apart. I could not believe what I had just seen. Here I had spent all morning shopping for her, and this was what I got for it?! Rage blinded me, and anger steered me to them where I then proceeded to tell her off for the crime I thought she had committed. It was only I who committed a crime that day. I wish I could just turn back time and erase myself from ever getting angry, but what is done is done, and there is nothing I can do about it.
I stormed off to my car. Anyone who got in my way I pushed them back out of it. I did not care who I was hurting or what I was doing. All I knew was that I was angry, confused, lost, and mostly, hurt. I pratically ripped the doors off their hinges and put a hole in a wall as I passed it. That hole is still there. It always reminds me of then whenever I see it. Its symbolic in a way. Its like the hole that was put into me. A hole that I fear will never be filled again. I got into my car cursing the entire time and raced home. I think I broke every speed limit. I did not care. Thankfully for me though, no cops were out on the road.
When I got home, my problems only got worse. My mom started being a mom and mothered me to death trying to find out why I was so angry. Dad was totally oblivious to my anger and tried to tell Mom to leave me alone. I was thankful for that, but it did not work. So I was forced to lock myself away in my room and put up a barrier, taking up more of my little energy. I just sat there on my bed, rocking back and forth as I glarred at the floor. Part of me wanted to cry so badly, yet another part would not let me. So I just sat there starring. I had the worst headache of my life. My stomach felt like someone was putting a spoon into it and digging around. My legs were butter, they just could not support my body. My arms felt very sore. My thoughts though were the worst part. I think at one point I tried to write in my journal, thinking that would make me feel better. The problem was though, my thoughts were just flying by too fast. I just could not focus at all. I heard the phone ringing and automatically my arm reached up and grabbed it. My mind was not quick enough to say I did not really want to speak to anyone. "Hello?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper.
"Goten, what the hell was that about today?" It was Trunks. I could tell by the sound of his voice just how angry he was. I said nothing. "Well?! You had better have a good reason!"
"She....was with....another guy." Some how I made the words come out of my mouth. And it was that time that I broke down really crying for the first time. It just really occured to me then what I had seen.
"Hell yeah she was! Do you know who that other guy was?!" Once again, no words came from me. "Louis." My eyes grew wide.
"THE Louis?!"
"Yes. THE Louis."
"The Louis that everyone loved, but you hate?"
"YES! That Louis!"
"OMG! He's changed a lot since I we all last saw him!"
"Yeah he grew up just like the rest of us."
"Oh...so....B chan was just.....with him as a friend?"
"Yeah." I jumped up and down happily.
"Then it was just a big mistake and she'll forgive me and everything will be happy again!" There was a long silence on the other end of the phone. Silence like that is never a good thing. This just proved that fact again. "Goten.....She's...most likely not going to forgive you. She said to tell me to tell you that...she's never going to speak to you again and that she never wants to see you again. I'm sorry Goten..." I dropped the phone and quickly picked it back up again.
"Well she can be a bit stubborn," I said trying to comfort myself. "She just needs some time to cool off and then things will be good agian. Right?!"
"I don't think so...but its worth hoping for."
And I've been hoping since then, but every day it looks more hopeless. But today, when I saw her, my hope was reborn. I shall continue to wait forever, for the day when she'll forgive me and my stupidity.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I'll try and get the next one out soon. I would expect any where from 1 - 3 more chapters on this story unless I decide to make it longer. Peace everyone! =^_^=
