A/N 1: Stan, Xev, Kai are all high school aged. Some characters are invented by me, because I couldn't find a good Lexx parallel. I absolutely rip off the whole of the first episode of BtVS here, entitled "Welcome to the Hellmouth". I use transcripts and everything. Nearly everyone is a different gender to make it fit more with Kai being male and all. This will probably be of more interest to people who watch Lexx and not Buffy than to people who watch Buffy and not Lexx... but best of all to people who watch both! :-)

A/N 2: Why? Because Kai is 100 times sexier than Sarah Michelle Gellar.

Disclaimer: Paul Donovan, Lex Gigeroff, Jeffrey Hirschfield own Lexx (all praise to the beans on high). Joss Whedon owns BtVS and all the Sunnydaleish stuff that I used here.



Kai the Vampire Slayer



A young man sat with his new girlfriend on the wall behind school. It was night, and the stars were out, and he smiled at her as she named constellations in the sky. Suddenly she broke off, looking down the street.

"Don't stop." he said, looking into her eyes. "You have a beautiful voice."

"David... did you hear something?" she asked, nervously. The blond shook his head.

"No, I didn't hear anything." he said. "Come here." He leant in to kiss her, and then lowered his lips to her throat. He bit into the girls throat, and drained her blood. Delicious.

Kai, aged 16, walked to his new school. He had mostly burned down his old school in Brunnis last month, and now he would be beginning in this new town, Sunnydale, California. There had been vampires (yes, *real* vampires) in Brunnis, and they had either slaughtered or driven out the whole population of the town. Kai had been the last remaining of his townspeople, and had been bitten himself by one of the vampires. Fortunately, a mysterious black cloaked old man had taken the time to feed him a substance that animated his dead body. Although he was deeply concerned that this might have been his "turning", making him a vampire, he had come to the conclusion that this wasn't the case. He had no fangs, no desire for blood, and no desire for anything else, either. He concluded that he was dead, not undead. He had eventually trapped as many vampires as he could in the school gym and burned it down. Then his father, who had fled the town, returned for him and took him to Sunnydale.

Xev Bellringer was skateboarding her way to school, skilfully avoiding several people as she zipped towards the building. "Watch out! 'Scuse me! Coming through! I can't stop!" she warned as she went. She suddenly set eyes upon the new boy. He had longish black hair, falling loosely to his shoulders, black jeans, black top, black boots. He was also *very* attractive, and as she was so distracted by the look of this new boy, she didn't look where she was going and crashed into the stair railing. She groaned and rubbed her head, then grinned when she saw Stanley Tweedle. They might not have been the coolest people in school, but they had been friends forever.

"Stan! I'm so glad to see you."

"Oh really?" he asked, as Xev got up and they walked to the school.

"I need your help. I had trouble with the maths."

"Which part?" Stan asked, not surprised. Xev wasn't exactly an academic.

"All of it. Please, come and be my study buddy tonight?" she begged.

"What's in it for me?" Not that Stan would say no, he just hated to look like a pushover.

"A shiny nickel." Xev promised.

"Ok, you need to check out Theory in Trig..." Stan said.

"Check it out?" Xev looked confused.

"From the library." Stan clarified. "Where the books live."

"Right, I will. See? I *want* to change." Xev told her friend.

"Hi!" Jessica joined the two of them.

"Hi Jess, what's up?" Xev asked, with a smile.

"New guy." she grinned.

"Ooh, yeah I saw. He's hot." Xev agreed.

"I heard there was someone transferring." Stan added.

"So, tell?" Xev prompted Jessica.

"Tell what?"

"What you know about him?" Someone that mysterious, he had to have an interesting story.

"New guy!" Jessica proved the limits of her knowledge.

"Well, you're a font of *nothing*." Xev muttered, as they carried on down the corridor.

"Kai, last of the Brunnen G." Principal Priest identified the new boy. "Welcome to Sunnydale. A clean slate, that's what you'll get here, even if it does say you..." Priest looked down at the papers. "Whoa."

"Is it bad?" Kai asked, frowning.

"You burned down the gym!" he exclaimed.

"Yes. The gym was full of... asbestos." he explained, knowing that he couldn't tell the truth here. Noone could know.

"Kai, don't worry." Priest said, putting the papers away. "At another school they might tell you to "watch your step" or "we'll be watching you", but not here. We want all of our pupils to have a chance to fit in here. So enjoy your time at Sunnydale High School." Kai got up, but at the door he turned and looked at the principal with a blank, emotionless expression.

"The dead do not enjoy school." he replied, before walking out. Principal Priest sighed and shook his head. He *really* did not get teenagers.

Leaving the office, Kai bumped into a girl and dropped some of his things on the floor. Xev immediately ran over to where he was standing amongst the mess. "Can I have you?" she asked, then realised her slip of the tongue. "I mean, can I help you?"

"Thank you." Kai replied, as she helped him pick up some of his books.

"Who are you?" she asked, flashing him a friendly smile.

"I am Kai." he answered her. "I am... new here."

"I'm Xev," she said, "pleased to meet you Kai. Maybe... I'll see you around? At school?"

"Perhaps." Kai agreed, and gave her a brief smile, before walking away.

"Great." she told herself. "Now I just look pathetic." She looked down at the ground, and noticed something that the new boy had dropped. A small wooden blade, that looked as if it fixed on to something. Weird. It looked almost like a nail file, except it had no rough edge and was fairly sharp. She put it in her pocket and decided to give it back to him later.

Walking out of his first class, Kai was approached by a blond boy who acted as if he owned the school and wished to see who the new subject in his kingdom was.

"So you're the new guy?" he asked. "I'm Isembard, but everyone here just calls me Prince. What's your name?"

"I am Kai." he said. "Last of the Brunnen G."

"Oh, yes, from Brunnis. I heard about some gang troubles up there. Interesting. You weren't in any gangs were you?"

"No." Kai replied, shortly. Prince shrugged.

"Still, that's cool. You survived, which was more than most of them did up there. Which means... congratulations. You pass." Kai frowned but said nothing.

"Stanley Tweedle." Prince identified the boy Kai had seen earlier. "It's nice to see someone still believes in charity shop jeans." He smirked at the boys scruffy looking red jeans.

"Yeah..." Stan looked nervously between the two of them. "My mum bought them."

"Well, no wonder you're such a girl magnet." Prince said sarcastically, then turned back to Kai and said quietly.

"You have to know who your losers are." he pointed out Stan, as he walked away. "Once you recognise them, they're easier to avoid."

"I see." said Kai.

"Look, if you want to go anywhere in this town, you should go to the Bronze." he said. "It's in the bad part of town."

"Where is that?" Kai asked.

"About half a block from the good part of town." he replied. "You should go sometime. I'll see you later. If you have any questions, just ask me, I can help you out in this place."

"Thank you." Kai replied, as Prince turned and walked away.

"Kai!" Xev called him over at lunch. Kai walked over and sat with the three; Xev, Stan and Jessica. "I have to give you this back," she said, handing him the slim wooden blade. "What is it? It's not a nail file..."

"It is a... small... sculpting tool." Kai lied, badly. "I need it for Art."

"Ok." Jessica said, not caring about the knife, which Kai deftly slotted into the brace on his wrist. "So, tell us all about yourself? Any dark, disturbing secrets?"

"I... do not..." Kai was broken off by Prince, who walked up to the table.

"Hey, Prince." Jessica smiled sweetly at the blond, who she suddenly found *much* more interesting than the new guy. Prince ignored her.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your *downward* mobility." Prince told Kai scornfully. "But I've to tell you that your gym class is cancelled, due to the dead body found in the locker room."

"Dead body?" Kai looked distantly troubled.

"Seriously?" Jessica asked, eyebrows raised about a mile high. "Dead?"

"Yes." Prince replied, irritated at having to spend so long at the 'loser' table.

"What was the cause of death?" Kai asked, looking more concerned with this than he perhaps should have. "Were there... marks?"

"How would *I* know?" Prince looked at him strangely. "You really are morbid."

"Excuse me," Kai got up, and left the table. "I need to... find someone."

After an hour searching the school for something useful, Kai went to the library. He came across a woman in her 40s, reading a book entitled "Vampyr". This, perhaps, was what he was looking for.

"You have heard about the dead body?" he asked her quietly. The woman looked up, and looked at Kai meaningfully.

"Yes, in the boys locker room. Some young lad had been drained of all his blood, through holes in his neck... it is very bizarre."

"I am the last of the Brunnen G." Kai informed her. "I have encountered vampires before, but I did not expect to find them here. But... that is beside the point. I do not care."

"You don't?" she asked, putting the book down. "Then why are you here."

"To tell you that I do not care." Kai replied. "Goodbye." He turned to leave.

"Will he... rise again?" she asked quietly. Kai turned back, and shook his head.

"He will not." he told her. "Not unless the vampire's own blood is transferred to his body."

"You are Kai." she smiled, and held out her hand. "I'm Rachel Giles, the new librarian. Your watcher."

"You are mistaken." Kai said. "I am dead, I can no longer help the living, my duty lies elsewhere."

"And, where, might I ask?" the librarian asked him. "It's getting worse. For years, the supernatural occurrences here have been building. There is a reason why you are here. You have a destiny. You are the *Slayer*." Kai didn't reply, he simply walked out of the library. Rachel shook her head sadly. Behind a stack of books, Xev looked up, a confused expression upon her face at what she had just witnessed.

Somewhere, deep below the ground, as all this was happening, there was a lair of huge dark caves. They were lit only with candles, and several vampires bearing torches, who gathered together. One vampire, Muffy, was chanting. "The sleeper will wake. The sleeper will wake. The sleeper will wake. The sleeper will wake, and the world will bleed. Amen!" she exclaimed.

James knocked on Kai's door. It hadn't escaped his notice how strange his son had been acting ever since the incidents in Brunnis. He knew that what they needed was a new start all round.

"Are you going out?" he asked Kai, a friendly smile on his face.

"Yes." Kai replied, pulling his hair back into a single black band and fixing the strap of that weird thing he had attached to his wrist. Odd jewellery youngsters had these days.

"Good. It's nice to see that you're going out, meeting friends. But promise you'll be careful."

"Yes, dad." he smiled at his father. James smiled back, yes, his son really did need to get out of the house more often.

"I am going to make this work, Kai." he promised, as his son walked out of the door.

At the Bronze, Kai looked at a particular brunette girl suspiciously. She had been following him all night. The girl noticed Kai looking at her, and smiled back. She had long hair, and was dressed in black jeans and a fitted white shirt with a slightly large collar.

"Is there a problem?" she asked, looking him up and down.

"Why are you following me?" Kai demanded, perfectly ready to fire his brace at her, if she confirmed his suspicions.

"I know what you're thinking." she confided. "Don't worry, I don't bite."

"What do you want?" Kai asked.

"The same thing as you do." she said seriously, drawing closer to Kai.

"The dead do not want." Kai told her, standing back, and lowering his brace.

"You want to kill them. To kill them all." She said. "We are on the Hellmouth. It's your duty."

"It is not." Kai turned away from the girl. She reached into her jacket and pulled out a small box, then threw it to him.

"You'll want to be ready." she said, with a smile.

"For what?" he asked.

"For the harvest." This cleared up nothing in Kai's mind.

"Who are you?" he asked her, confusion evident on his face. She walked around him, and smiled.

"Let's just say... I'm a friend." she began to walk away, so Kai spoke more loudly.

"Maybe I do not want a friend." The girl looked over her shoulder and smirked.

"I didn't say I was yours."

Kai opened the box, and took out a small silver cross. He understood the significance of this object, but who was that girl who had given it to him? Who was it that knew the truth about him when he had never seen them before? He looked after her as she left, then he noticed the school librarian on the balcony, watching the crowds intently. He would go up and see what she was doing here.

"Oh, hello Kai." she greeted him.

"What are you doing here?" Kai asked, somewhat suspiciously. "You do not appear to be enjoying yourself."

"Believe me I'm not." she said. "This is hardly my idea of fun. I'm here, because in case you hadn't noticed, this place is a perfect breeding ground for vampire activity, it's so dark and crowded... and I knew you'd be here. I have to tell you that -"

"The harvest." Kai interrupted. "Your friend mentioned it to me."

"My... who?" she asked, confused.

"Beautiful, dark haired... I assumed she was a friend of yours."

"No." she told Kai. "The harvest? Did she say anything else?"

"She said that we were upon the mouth of Hell." Kai said. "Her information was not useful."

"Maybe not." Rachel semi-agreed, turning back to look at the crowds. "Kai, could you tell me if there was a vampire down there?" Kai shrugged.

"Perhaps." he said, watching blankly.

"You should know. Without thinking, without looking, even through all this mass and din, you should be able to tell me if there was a vampire in this building. You have to hone your senses, focus until the energy washes across you..."

"There." Kai pointed directly to one of the women in the crowd. "Her walk is... unusual. It appears that she is dead."

"It's not about the way someone walks, Kai, you should..."

"I do not know how else to explain it." he said, looking down. Stanley was approaching the girl, with a smile.

"Isn't that..." Rachel peered, recognising the boy. Kai looked at her darkly.

"Wait here." he said, before going down the stairs, feeling an unfamiliar sense of motivation to help these people, which was possibly just his sense of basic justice.

Kai looked around, unable to see the vampire or Stanley anywhere. He frowned, then hearing footsteps behind him, whirled around, and caught Prince by the throat with his brace.

"Prince." he released the boy, and stepped back. Prince, alarmed, rubbed his neck.

"God!" he exclaimed. "Are you a maniac?" Kai turned and walked away from the blond, knowing he needed to find Stanley. "I'm going to have to tell *everyone* about this." Prince told his friends, still in shock. Kai continued hurrying outside, blindly passing by another boy, who was trying to chat up Jessica.

"So, what did you say your name was?" Jessica asked, flirting with the boy.

"David." he told her. "You have a beautiful voice, Jessica."

"Oh.. thanks." she said, blushing. "David. I haven't seen you around before... are you from around here?"

"No, not really." David said. "I have family here."

"Have I met them?" she asked, interested to know as much as she could about this attractive blond stranger who seemed interested in her.

"You probably will." he told her, smiling and taking her hand.

Meanwhile, underground, a woman called Vlad stepped out of a deep pool of blood. Her servant, Muffy, kissed her hand.

"Vlad, you are my master." she said, in thrall. Vlad looked down on her servant.

"I am weak." she said. "I must be ready, I need my strength."

"Almost." Muffy promised. "Soon you will be free. I sent your servants to bring you food."

"Good." Vlad said. "Please bring me something... young." she requested of her servant.

"It sure is dark." Stan commented, walking with the attractive dark haired girl he'd met at the Bronze. He felt very impressed with himself, girls so rarely felt attracted to him, it wasn't like he was some kind of mutant, just because he did well at school. Stan hated being a nerd.

"It's night." The girl pointed out.

"Well, that's a dark time, night." Stan agreed. "Traditionally. I still can't believe I've never seen you at school. Do you have Mr Chomsky for maths?" The girl, however, was ignoring his rambling and headed into the cemetery.

"You're leaving already?" Xev asked Kai, who was just about to head out of the door.

"Xev." Kai turned to her. "Have you seen Stanley?" Xev shook her head.

"No, not tonight." she answered. "Why?"

"He left. With a girl." Kai told her.

"We are talking about Stanley, right?" she asked. "Scoring at the Bronze? Well done him!"

"I need to find him." Kai said, not listening. "Where would she take him to?"

"Why? Oh, hey, I hope she's not a vampire, because then you might have to *slay* him." she said, sceptically. Kai frowned.

"How do you know that I am the Slayer?" he asked her.

"I know you *think* you are the Slayer, because-"

"Where would Stanley go?" he asked, interrupting. Xev smirked.

"You're serious?" she shook her head in disbelief.

"If we do not find him, he will be killed." he told her, absolutely serious.

"Okay, this is nice. And scary. Are you sure this is a short cut? I really don't like-" Stan was cut off by the girl turning around to look at him.

"Hey, you ever been in one of these?" she pointed to the mausoleum.

"No, and I don't particularly *want* to either." he said, and turned away.

"Come on." she said, pulling him back by his shoulder. "What are you afraid of?" Suddenly, she pushed Stanley backwards into the mausoleum. Stan struggles to his feet, tripping down the stairs, and stops against a stone coffin. He looked up, fearful.

"That was *not* funny!" he complained to the girl. What was her problem? She came skipping down the steps cheerfully. "I think I'm just gonna go." Stan said, backed up against the wall.

"Is that what you think?" she asked him, grinning and walking towards him. He ducked past her, but this was only because she let him. David was blocking his way out of the mausoleum.

"This is the best you could do?" David asked, looking down at Stanley.

"He's fresh." the girl told him. "Why didn't you bring your own?" David just gave her a look.

"I *did*." he said, as Jessica stumbled into the mausoleum behind him, holding her neck.

"Hey, wait for me." she said, out of breath.

"Oh, god." Stan said, looking at her. "Jessica." She was weak from her loss of blood, and collapsed. Stan reached to catch her, and broke her fall.

"You gave me a hickey." she said, grinning at David. The girl glared at him, and he shrugged.

"I got hungry along the way." he told her, dismissively.

"Lets get out of here." Stan whispered to Jessica, who slumped in his arms.

"You're not going anywhere." David told them, smugly. "Not until we've fed." His face suddenly altered, becoming ridged all over and demonic. His eyes turned a golden yellow colour, and his teeth became sharp and pointed. Stanley screamed in terror, falling down next to Jessica. At this exact point in time, Kai and Xev turned up at the door.

"Vampires." Kai identified the creatures, stepping forward fearlessly.

"Who the hell are you?" David asked, irritated with this intrusion.

"I am Kai." he told them, eyes not leaving David's.

"Kai, we should *go* now." Xev told him anxiously. Kai paid no attention, walking further towards them.

"I will not allow you to kill these people." he told them. The girl who had brought Stan roared, and leapt towards Kai, who immediately pulled out a chair leg from his shirt and stabbed her through the heart. Instantly, she turned to ashes. David stared at Kai, unable to believe his eyes. The others look just as shocked.

"Go, Xev." he spoke to her, without turning around. David then kicked out at Kai, and they began to fight. While they fought, Xev helped Stan to pick up Jessica. When they had helped Jessica out of the mausoleum, they began to run. Back in the mausoleum, Kai had struck out at David, throwing him against the wall. He fell to the floor, winded.

"Who are you?" he asked Kai.

"Don't you know?" Kai asked in return, lifting his brace to aim it at the vampire's heart. Suddenly, Muffy grabbed his neck from behind.

"I don't care." she told him, then threw him across the room. She grabbed David, and helped him to his feet. "You were supposed to bring an offering for the Master! We're almost at Harvest, and you dally with this child!"

"We had someone." David told her angrily. "But then *he* came. He killed Davinia, Muffy, he's strong."

"Go." Muffy told him scornfully. "I'll see if *I* can handle the little boy."

She approached Kai as he started to get up, and David quickly climbed the steps, running out of the mausoleum. Muffy attacked Kai, but he blocked her arms, and delivered a punch to her stomach. She stepped back, unfazed.

"You are strong." she commented, then punched him hard in the face, sending him flying across the room. "But I am stronger!"

Outside the cemetery, Xev and Stan supported Jessica on their shoulders as they ran. "We'll get the police, it's just a few blocks away!" Stan shouted to Willow. However, they are cut off at the next corner when a group of vampires step out, stopping their escape.

"This is a waste of my time." Muffy said, walking slowly towards Kai. Kai took a step back, then fired his brace towards her. She immediately dived to the side, effectively dodging the wooden blade. "You think you can stop me? Stop us?" she asked him, an expression of madness and evil in her eyes. "You have no idea what you're dealing with." She threw Kai on top of the stone coffin in the middle of the room, and he rolled off on to the floor, looking up at Muffy standing above him. She began quoting scripture. "'And like a plague of boils, the race of man covered the earth. But on the third day of the newest light would come the Harvest. And the blood of men will flow as wine. When the Master will walk among them once more! The earth will belong to the old ones...'" she suddenly leapt upon Kai, face close to his own. "'And hell itself, will come to town.'" She grabbed Kai and growled, lifting him by his throat, and threw him inside the stone coffin. Kai frowned at the skeleton beneath him, and looked up. Not seeing Muffy, he sat up slowly. Suddenly Muffy jumped up and into the coffin, grinning evilly. "Amen!" she finished, and moved in to bite Kai's neck...









What will happen next? Well, you might know if you've seen the BtVS episode... or maybe not, because if I do write a next one to follow this, it's not going to go 'episode 1; episode 2; episode 3; etc'. Anyway, doubtless Kai doesn't need to be worried about being killed, so not such a cliffhanger really, lol.



Read and Review! :-)

Jenny xxx