AN. I heard this song and my muse wouldn't let me do anything until I wrote this. It probably sucks in a major way-but at least my muse will get off my back., It's what I think was running through Angels head when he decided to leave Buffy

AN2, this song is This Brilliant Dance by Dashboard Confessionals

AN3: //song lyrics//

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, and I never will.



//So this is odd,

the painful realization that has all gone wrong.

And nobody cares at all,

and nobody cares at all.//



Watching her. She is so beautiful, so strong. When I see her, when I think of her-I love her. I thought I understood it before, but I had no idea. Love isn't about sex, or pain, or blood-it's something else entirely. I don't even understand it-I'm not sure I want to.

//So you buried all your lover's clothes

and burned the letters lover wrote,

but it doesn't make it any better.

Does it make it any better?

And the plaster dented from your fist

in the hall where you had your first kiss

reminds you that the memories will fade.//

Looking at her, I feel-human. But I'm not. I never will be, and it's that fact that I have pushed aside. We have both ignored the truth for too long.

//So this is strange,

our sidestepping has come to be a brilliant dance

where nobody leads at all,

where nobody leads at all.//

I don't deserve you, and I can't stay. I belong to a world of darkness; you deserve to live in the light. To be with me, to love me, you would have to give up too much-and I won't let that happen. I'd rather die then see you miss out on life.



//And the picture frames are facing down

and the ringing from this empty sound

is deafening and keeping you from sleep.

And breathing is a foreign task

and thinking's just too much to ask

and you're measuring your minutes by a clock that's blinking eights//



Of all the horrible things I've done, letting you fall in love with me is by far the worst. And now I have to make it right. I love you Buffy, more then I ever thought possible, and I always will. And that it why I cannot stay

//This is incredible.

Starving, insatiable,

yes, this is love for the first time.

Well you'd like to think that you were invincible.

Yeah, well weren't we all once before we felt loss for the first time?

Well this is the last time.//