The following morning Monica sat alone at her kitchen table, halfheartedly
reading the Times and sipping a glass of orange juice. Rachel had left
early that morning for her mother's house on Long Island, telling Monica
that she had to get some distance from Ross. She said she'd be gone all
weekend, and not to expect her back until late Sunday night.
Dinner the night before had been uncomfortable, the tension between Ross and Rachel overshadowing the lighthearted chatter that Phoebe and Joey attempted. Add to that the fact that she and Chandler were going out of their way to avoid looking at or speaking to the other, and you had one hell of an awkward night.
For what had to be the hundredth time that morning, Monica glanced toward the door, wondering when Chandler would come over. She knew he wouldn't just let this go; she'd seen it in his eyes when he'd left the day before. But she had no desire to talk it out; she didn't want to analyze what had prompted their lip lock. It was spontaneous, and yeah, there had been feeling behind it – mutual, she was pretty sure. But it was too new, too sudden and too weird to even think about. She and Chandler? They'd been friends for ages. She vaguely remembered having a crush on him back in high school and college, but that was long gone by the time he'd moved in across the hall. Instead of a romance blossoming between them in those early days, the foundation of a friendship had been laid - and it had since grown into one of the closest, most reaffirming relationships she'd ever had. How could they even think about throwing that away?
But that kiss… she couldn't deny that the kiss had been amazing.
She sighed quietly, unconsciously touching her hand to her lips. Why Chandler? Why now? After all these years?
Almost as though sensing her thoughts, there was a light tapping at the door before Chandler cautiously stuck his head in. Seeing her at the table, he gave her a neutral smile and then peered around the room.
"Um, hey, Mon," he said, the strain in his voice betraying his nervousness. "Is Rachel around?"
"No, she went to her mom's for the weekend," Monica said quietly, standing up and starting toward him. May as well get this over with.
"Oh." He came the rest of the way inside, shutting the door softly behind him and then standing awkwardly, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his khakis. She suppressed a smile when he actually scuffed one tennis shoe- clad foot along the floor. He really was so cute sometimes. This definitely wasn't the first time she'd noticed that, although it was the first time it took on any significance.
She snapped to attention when Chandler started talking, color flooding her cheeks as she realized she'd actually been checking him out.
"Hey, uh, before you say anything Mon… I know there's a good chance that kiss yesterday meant very little to you… if anything. And I didn't get much sleep last night analyzing it, I guess I'm still not sure what happened… but I just wanted to make sure… that it was no big deal and that you were just caught up in the moment… you know." He gnawed his lip nervously, staring at the floor like it was the most fascinating thing he'd ever seen.
Monica was left staring at him.
The easy way out. He was offering it to her, no strings attached. She could nod along, laugh it off, and let them both off the hook… and they'd never have to mention this again. They could go back to being plain old Monica and Chandler, platonic friends to the end.
She opened her mouth to do just that… but at the last minute, for reasons unknown even to herself, she changed her mind.
"You said 'you'," she murmured.
He glanced up at her, a frown creasing between his brows. "What?"
"You said… you were sure the kiss meant nothing to ME, and that I was just caught up in the moment. But you didn't say how YOU, uh, felt about it." She fell silent, cursing herself for even going down this route. She should have just taken the out he'd offered.
He stared at her for a long moment, before finally giving her a quick, lopsided smile. "I thought how I felt about it was fairly obvious," he said softly. "I thought… you knew how I felt about you sometimes."
She blinked in surprise. "What?"
He began to look embarrassed again. "Shit. Uh… well, I guess I was wrong." He chuffed out an uncomfortable laugh, but she just stared at him, and he sighed. "A long time ago I had… kind of a thing for you. Okay? It was no big deal. Phoebe told me you knew; I guess she was just messing with me, and rest assured she will pay for that now that I've made a complete ass out of myself."
"You – you've had a crush on me? For -?"
"No!" He was quick to interrupt. "It was a long time ago, Mon. It's just… sometimes it…comes back. But it's not anything major, you know, and since there's no chance of anything ever actually happening between us, you're usually pretty easy to get over." He smiled wryly.
She didn't smile back.
"Look," he sighed. "I really was just messing with you, with all that boyfriend talk. I wasn't expecting you to take me seriously, and so I teased you because… it was safe. Granted, you acted like the idea was SO abhorrent that you may have hurt my feelings a little…" He gave her a puppy dog look, and she cracked a tiny smile, "but really, it wasn't a big deal."
She nodded minutely, studying him. "I see. And the kiss?"
His eyebrows shot up. "You initiated the kiss, Monica. You're the one who wanted to play tonsil hockey…"
"Oh, like you were pushing me away," she retorted, and they smiled at each other, then laughed quietly as another silence fell.
"This is crazy," Chandler said, shaking his head.
"I agree." She smiled ruefully.
He cleared his throat, ducking his head again before looking back up at her, his eyes warm. "So… are we cool?"
She sighed. "Yeah. We're cool."
He nodded, looking at her for a long moment before finally gesturing toward the door. "I, ah… I guess I should get going then."
"Okay." Feeling a twinge of disappointment, she watched him offer a parting grin before he turned toward the door and began to reach for the knob. Something made her take a deep breath and call after him. "Hey, Chandler?"
"Yeah?" He turned back around, inquisitively.
She ventured a smile. "You're a really good kisser."
"Ditto, Mon." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, eliciting a tiny laugh from her. "And there's more where that came from, you know."
"I think I'll pass," she teased, relieved that they could joke about this now.
"Rain check?" he asked, hopefully.
"Chandler!" If he didn't get out of here soon, she was going to lose her resolve.
"Okay, okay. Sorry." He gave her a sheepish smile. "It's just, that kiss was… wow. And part of me feels like…you know, since neither of us is seeing anyone right now…" He shrugged. "What's the harm?"
She studied him, unable to decide whether he was serious or joking. Maybe he wasn't sure either. Maybe he was just out there on a limb, hoping she would join him.
"Well – we're friends," she said slowly. "We don't… do this. There are rules."
"Ohh." He nodded. "Do you think I could get a copy of those?"
"Chandler…"
"Okay. I'm leaving, I'll leave…" He paused. "Do you want me to leave?"
She stared at him. "I don't know. You should."
"I know that." He was staring back at her, and all the levity between them had vanished. Both seemed to realize that something in their relationship was shifting in that moment, altering the way they saw each other… perhaps irreversibly. And there was nothing they could do but go with it.
Suddenly he was moving toward her, hands slowly reaching up to frame her face. She felt her breath catch in her throat, wondering at the intensity she saw in his gaze. She'd never seen him look like that before – or maybe she had. Just never directed at her.
"Can I kiss you?" he whispered, even though it was clear from the way he was leaning toward her that he wasn't going to wait for her permission. She closed her eyes in anticipation, her pulse suddenly thundering in her ears as his lips brushed against hers. Softly, once – twice – three times, and she was barely breathing.
Uh oh, she thought idly, her fingers twisting the soft fabric of his shirt to tug him closer.
We're in trouble now.
--
AN: I struggled a bit with this one. It's hard to get their characterization down, but I tried to make their interaction here as realistic as I could. Anyway, the next chapter is already half done and has been much more of a breeze to write. Thanks for the feedback so far, I really appreciate it. (
Dinner the night before had been uncomfortable, the tension between Ross and Rachel overshadowing the lighthearted chatter that Phoebe and Joey attempted. Add to that the fact that she and Chandler were going out of their way to avoid looking at or speaking to the other, and you had one hell of an awkward night.
For what had to be the hundredth time that morning, Monica glanced toward the door, wondering when Chandler would come over. She knew he wouldn't just let this go; she'd seen it in his eyes when he'd left the day before. But she had no desire to talk it out; she didn't want to analyze what had prompted their lip lock. It was spontaneous, and yeah, there had been feeling behind it – mutual, she was pretty sure. But it was too new, too sudden and too weird to even think about. She and Chandler? They'd been friends for ages. She vaguely remembered having a crush on him back in high school and college, but that was long gone by the time he'd moved in across the hall. Instead of a romance blossoming between them in those early days, the foundation of a friendship had been laid - and it had since grown into one of the closest, most reaffirming relationships she'd ever had. How could they even think about throwing that away?
But that kiss… she couldn't deny that the kiss had been amazing.
She sighed quietly, unconsciously touching her hand to her lips. Why Chandler? Why now? After all these years?
Almost as though sensing her thoughts, there was a light tapping at the door before Chandler cautiously stuck his head in. Seeing her at the table, he gave her a neutral smile and then peered around the room.
"Um, hey, Mon," he said, the strain in his voice betraying his nervousness. "Is Rachel around?"
"No, she went to her mom's for the weekend," Monica said quietly, standing up and starting toward him. May as well get this over with.
"Oh." He came the rest of the way inside, shutting the door softly behind him and then standing awkwardly, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his khakis. She suppressed a smile when he actually scuffed one tennis shoe- clad foot along the floor. He really was so cute sometimes. This definitely wasn't the first time she'd noticed that, although it was the first time it took on any significance.
She snapped to attention when Chandler started talking, color flooding her cheeks as she realized she'd actually been checking him out.
"Hey, uh, before you say anything Mon… I know there's a good chance that kiss yesterday meant very little to you… if anything. And I didn't get much sleep last night analyzing it, I guess I'm still not sure what happened… but I just wanted to make sure… that it was no big deal and that you were just caught up in the moment… you know." He gnawed his lip nervously, staring at the floor like it was the most fascinating thing he'd ever seen.
Monica was left staring at him.
The easy way out. He was offering it to her, no strings attached. She could nod along, laugh it off, and let them both off the hook… and they'd never have to mention this again. They could go back to being plain old Monica and Chandler, platonic friends to the end.
She opened her mouth to do just that… but at the last minute, for reasons unknown even to herself, she changed her mind.
"You said 'you'," she murmured.
He glanced up at her, a frown creasing between his brows. "What?"
"You said… you were sure the kiss meant nothing to ME, and that I was just caught up in the moment. But you didn't say how YOU, uh, felt about it." She fell silent, cursing herself for even going down this route. She should have just taken the out he'd offered.
He stared at her for a long moment, before finally giving her a quick, lopsided smile. "I thought how I felt about it was fairly obvious," he said softly. "I thought… you knew how I felt about you sometimes."
She blinked in surprise. "What?"
He began to look embarrassed again. "Shit. Uh… well, I guess I was wrong." He chuffed out an uncomfortable laugh, but she just stared at him, and he sighed. "A long time ago I had… kind of a thing for you. Okay? It was no big deal. Phoebe told me you knew; I guess she was just messing with me, and rest assured she will pay for that now that I've made a complete ass out of myself."
"You – you've had a crush on me? For -?"
"No!" He was quick to interrupt. "It was a long time ago, Mon. It's just… sometimes it…comes back. But it's not anything major, you know, and since there's no chance of anything ever actually happening between us, you're usually pretty easy to get over." He smiled wryly.
She didn't smile back.
"Look," he sighed. "I really was just messing with you, with all that boyfriend talk. I wasn't expecting you to take me seriously, and so I teased you because… it was safe. Granted, you acted like the idea was SO abhorrent that you may have hurt my feelings a little…" He gave her a puppy dog look, and she cracked a tiny smile, "but really, it wasn't a big deal."
She nodded minutely, studying him. "I see. And the kiss?"
His eyebrows shot up. "You initiated the kiss, Monica. You're the one who wanted to play tonsil hockey…"
"Oh, like you were pushing me away," she retorted, and they smiled at each other, then laughed quietly as another silence fell.
"This is crazy," Chandler said, shaking his head.
"I agree." She smiled ruefully.
He cleared his throat, ducking his head again before looking back up at her, his eyes warm. "So… are we cool?"
She sighed. "Yeah. We're cool."
He nodded, looking at her for a long moment before finally gesturing toward the door. "I, ah… I guess I should get going then."
"Okay." Feeling a twinge of disappointment, she watched him offer a parting grin before he turned toward the door and began to reach for the knob. Something made her take a deep breath and call after him. "Hey, Chandler?"
"Yeah?" He turned back around, inquisitively.
She ventured a smile. "You're a really good kisser."
"Ditto, Mon." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, eliciting a tiny laugh from her. "And there's more where that came from, you know."
"I think I'll pass," she teased, relieved that they could joke about this now.
"Rain check?" he asked, hopefully.
"Chandler!" If he didn't get out of here soon, she was going to lose her resolve.
"Okay, okay. Sorry." He gave her a sheepish smile. "It's just, that kiss was… wow. And part of me feels like…you know, since neither of us is seeing anyone right now…" He shrugged. "What's the harm?"
She studied him, unable to decide whether he was serious or joking. Maybe he wasn't sure either. Maybe he was just out there on a limb, hoping she would join him.
"Well – we're friends," she said slowly. "We don't… do this. There are rules."
"Ohh." He nodded. "Do you think I could get a copy of those?"
"Chandler…"
"Okay. I'm leaving, I'll leave…" He paused. "Do you want me to leave?"
She stared at him. "I don't know. You should."
"I know that." He was staring back at her, and all the levity between them had vanished. Both seemed to realize that something in their relationship was shifting in that moment, altering the way they saw each other… perhaps irreversibly. And there was nothing they could do but go with it.
Suddenly he was moving toward her, hands slowly reaching up to frame her face. She felt her breath catch in her throat, wondering at the intensity she saw in his gaze. She'd never seen him look like that before – or maybe she had. Just never directed at her.
"Can I kiss you?" he whispered, even though it was clear from the way he was leaning toward her that he wasn't going to wait for her permission. She closed her eyes in anticipation, her pulse suddenly thundering in her ears as his lips brushed against hers. Softly, once – twice – three times, and she was barely breathing.
Uh oh, she thought idly, her fingers twisting the soft fabric of his shirt to tug him closer.
We're in trouble now.
--
AN: I struggled a bit with this one. It's hard to get their characterization down, but I tried to make their interaction here as realistic as I could. Anyway, the next chapter is already half done and has been much more of a breeze to write. Thanks for the feedback so far, I really appreciate it. (
