font size=10bDisclaimer:/b I don't own any Final Fantasy 8 characters. Any problem with that? Good./fontbrbrbr

font size=12bThrough my Eyes/bbrbChapter Eight/b/fontbrbrbrbr

font size=10pWhen I woke up that morning, I still had no idea what to do. And the worst part was I only had one hour to make my descision. I put my jacket and gloves on, and strapped my Gunblade to my belt. Well... It's still an hour, but--then again--what's an hour to decide my whole future? Ah... I need to eat something...brbrbrbr

pWhen I reached the kitchen, I saw Rinoa was packing food and equipment in several brown backpacks, one for each of my friends...and one more, for...me? Yes, once I looked more closely, I saw that they each had letters on the front; 'Z' for Zell, 'Se' for Selphie, 'Q' for quistis, and 'Sq', for Squall...br
pRinoa looked up at me, "Morning,"she said blankly.br
p"...Morning," I said. She placed what looked like a map into the backpack with my initials on it.br
p"If you're wondering where the others are, they've already eaten and waiting outside of the castle," she said in the same dry tone, never once letting our eyes meet for more than a second. She adjusted her leather miniskirt, "So, when are you guys heading out? By the way, I'm putting the map in your bag--I didn't think that Zell would be very responsible with it." ...Does she iwant/i me to leave? "What's wrong?" she asked once seeing my face, her tone still dry. "Would you rather I put the map in Quistis's bag?"br
p"No!" I said, outraged. She narrowed her seafoam green eyes, "I would rather you not put the map in ianyone's/i bag."br
pShe snorted in disgust. "Oh--and I suppose you're going to tell me that you're not going back to that Garden place?" My eyes softened; I couldn't think of anything to say. "Thought so," she said harshly. p"Rinoa..."
pShe glared at me. "Don't say anything, alright? You iknew/i that you were going to leave here today. You put on those black clothes this morning and expect me inot/i to know you were leaving?" I looked down; I had inadvertantly put on my old favorite Garden clothes. Oh, no...
pI looked up. "Rinoa, please--"
p"Shut up, okay? Just shut up." She was so angry... She knew that I loved her...she also knew how to hurt me... "I don't even wanna hear it from you, alright? You wash up on our shores one day while we were searching for other tribes near the Kashkabald; you were 99% dead, and I saved you. I risked my whole reputation and ibirthright/i as first princess and brought an ioutsider/i into our world. Everyone told me that you'd be trouble, and I didn't want to believe that. I fed you, I clothed you, I kept a roof over your head all this time. I showed you my world, I showed you my family and my life, and I was foolish enough to think that you could change. I thought that you were different, Squall, I honestly did. But let's face it, you really ican't/i teach an old dog new tricks, can you?"
p"Rinoa, if you would just ilisten/i to me for a second--"
p"Why should I, iOutsider?/i Why should I listen to you--after all I've said you never heard one damned thing. Do you know what that's ilike/i Squall?"
p"Of course I know what that's like!" I screamed. "I lived my ientire life/i in Garden like that! I'll be the first to admit that I never said much, not that it mattered when I did to anybody else." She stared at me, shocked that I fought back. "Well, guess what? Now it's my turn! You think iyou/i have it hard? Try staying away from all people as much as possible so you won't get hurt for twelve years. And then, out of nowhere, some tree-hugging iditz/i barges in and drags you into something you never wanted to be in in the first place! Try having her face istuck in your head/i for days, never knowing her name, never knowing where she came from, and having that same heartache every day to know that you fucked it all up just because you were a little scared. And now, when you find her in the least likely place and have to adapt to an ientirely/i different new world that scared the shit out of you, you finally begin to believe that you can be happy if you let your guard down. But guess what? One day, God decides to throw a shitbomb in your face and suck you back into your iold/i life, completely fucking up everything you've tried to hold onto! Huh?! Try ithat!/i"
pShe clenched her fists and walked up to me. "Oh yeah? Well try believing that someone who you just pulled out for fun, and turned up half-dead on your land could actually be idifferent/i from every other man who came into your life. Try risking ieverything/i you never wanted in the ifirst/i place on this guy who turns out you fall iabsolutely/i in love with just to keep him a ilittle while longer/i in your life. Then, just for fun, try mizing in him nearly getting you ikilled/i by someone you were supposed to marry. Next--and this one's just a ireal/i kicker--try believing, itruly/i believing that Outsiders and Akashics could live together in peace becauseithis one guy/i made you blind with how much love you felt for him." By this time, rivers of tears were streaming down her cheeks.
p"Oh, guess what else--and you're just gonna ilove/i this one! Try living through the day when you find out that he's inot/i everything you thought him to be; that he's just an illusion that probably said all those things just to get your pants. And try living through the fact that you'll probably have to ikill/i him the day he thinks of leaving to save what little of an empire you have left! Why don't iyou/i try that?!"
pI stared at her in shock. "...Kill me...?"
p"Yeah, that's right!" Rinoa said, hysterical with tears. "How do I know I can trust you, huh? How? I'm so unsure of everything right now that I can't even see straight--and I ihave/i to kill all of you because, otherwise, I'm risking exposing our quiet little world to the corruption of the Outlands. We keep inside the sanctity of the valley because we don't want to be corrupted by all of your quote-unquote technological intelligence! This world has worked for us since the beginning of the earth, and the blood of our tribe grows thinner and weaker with every generation! If we die now, we'll be leaving the earth with inothing!/i NOTHING! But guess what? I ican't/i kill you because I'd end up killing myself along with it because of how much I love you. Now, what do you have to say to ithat?!/i"br
pI shook my head and walked outside; I couldn't take this. I can't take all of this heartache, I can't take it when Rinoa is so mad at me. Now we were screaming at each other, only heightening the situation. I tried to be angry at her for saying such horrible things to me, but for the life of me, I couldn't. She's going through so much torment right now; so am I. br
pI never slept with her--we had never even talked about it. I didn't say and act that way just to get into her pants. I loved her, I truly did. I sighed in frustration as I leaned against a stone column in the castle; God, this is too much. For both of us...this has been such a life-changing experience. I felt so wonderful with Rinoa around, and I felt like dying when she was so injured in the battle with Nariko. This feeling was ten times worse. I was fighting with every ounce of my being not to pull out my gunblade and end it all now. Someone...just let me have the strength to let go and kill myself... I want to die right now! I want to be dead! If I can't be with Rinoa then I'm killing myself!br
pI sighed and looked over to a mirror on the corridor wall. Tomorrow, I thought. This is all too much... This torment, this backstabbing, this harsh life... It's all too much for me to bear. I've beared the suffering of my sister leaving me, beared the pain of being alone in Garden, put up with all the shit Seifer's given me for the passed fourteen years, tortured with the thoughts of a nameless beauty from a dance, tortured with the thought of her dying in your arms because of you, having her turn out okay but then bearing the pain of her not returning your love... Not returning how much I cared for her... This was so hard, I just can't take it. So that's it. Tomorrow, I'm killing myself.
/fontbrbrbr

font size=10pHalf an hour later we were all outside, including Eiri, Zone and Watts. Eiri looked up at me with teary eyes, clutching my backpack. "...D-Do yoo really have ta go...?" She handed me my backpack. I truly wasn't sure, but what else could I do...? I nodded. She cast her eyes downward. "Okay..."br
pI looked up at Rinoa, feeling terrible about all that I had said. I knew why this was so hard for her... But, did she really have to kill me...? "...I guess this is goodbye, huh?" She let her bangs fall over her eyes, she nodded.
p"... ... ...Goodbye," she said after what seemed like an eternity. She then turned around and hastily walked away. No...! Don't go!
pI quickly grabbed her wrist, she turned around to face me, "Come with me," I said before I could stop myself. She stared at me, shocked.
p"What did you say?" she asked.
p"I want you to come with me," I said, looking straight into her sea-foam eyes. "Come to Garden with me--you can talk to the headmaster idirectly/i and tell him that you want your privacy in the lands! Come and tell him to keep it a secret! Please, Rinoa, I love you so much. I want to help you make things right."
p"Finally!"Zone expressed, Watts taking out another fully packed backpack with an 'R' on the front. "We thought you'd inever/i ask her to come! Catch, Rinny." Watts tossed Rinoa her backpack as Zone laughed.
p"Y-You... You're not iserious!/i"Rinoa screeched. I was thinking the same thing... My heart then leapt once I realized what was going on--she's actually coming with us?!
p"Come on, Sis," said Watts. "You know that you want to go. So go! You shouldn't let us hold us back from your happiness." He smiled, "I promise, we'll be fine. Now go on, eh? We've put a special map in your bag, and marked the ivery/i fastest way back to Balamb," he said with a wink. "Now go on, have fun."
p"B-But..." She traied off. "What about you? What about Eiri, and Korekanda? Who's going to take care of my dragons? Who will run the village? Who will--"
p"Relax, Rinny!" said Zone. "We know just as much as you do about running the valley and keeping the monsters healthy. Everything will be okay." We were all silent, shocked. They really wanted her to come. I smirked in realization that she was coming with us.
p"Rinoa!" I shouted in ecitement. "You're coming with me???"
pShe glanced desperately between us. "Zone, Watts, Eiri--I can't! I just can't up and leave like this! I have responsibilities to take care of here! I can't leave my village and valley, I just..."
pWatts smiled reasurringly. He looked to me. "Take care of her, sir," he said. "Take good care of my sister."
p"Same goes for me," said Zone, proudly sticking out his chest. "I love my sister more than anything in the world. If you let anything happen to her, I'll kill you." There was utter seriousness in his voice.
p"Take care of Sis!" Eiri piped in. "You'll be back, right?" I nodded at all their requests and then looked to Rinoa.
pRinoa looked at me and turned to her brothers, just staring at them, unbelieving. After a moment, she dropped her backpack and hugged them both tightly, "I'll miss you!"/fontbrbrbrbr

font size=10p~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~brbrpHmm... Not half bad! Hehe, had you guys hanging on end, eh? Thought I'd leave y'all hanging at a very suspensful end? Hehehe--nah, I'd never do that! Sorry it took so long to get it up, but I've been working on two new stories! They're called 'Elven Knights,' and 'Beneath the Moon.' Just look it up in my bio! R&R! Thanks!!!brpKayli/font