Life in a (McDonald's) Nutshell


By: Misty 2

Censor: PG
Summary: Perseus, Antigone, and Ron Weasley (from Harry Potter) meet at McDonald's one night to discuss the meaning of life. A humorous story with introspective moments.
Notes: This is a recent school assignment. The assignment was to write a short script between three heroes in stories we'd studied in class where they argued over the meaning of life. The teacher gave me an A and said I did "a wonderful job," so I thought it was worth posting here. I hope you all enjoy it as much as my teacher did.

***

Ron Weasley, Antigone, and Perseus were sitting at McDonalds. (Perseus had wanted
higher quality dining, but with Ron's poor family and Antigone's recent death, this was all they could afford) Ron, as a typical growing boy, was downing several burgers at once, while Antigone, who was on a diet, watched him eat wistfully as she picked at her salad. Meanwhile, Perseus had brought his own food, claiming that fast food was not good enough for a Greek hero like himself. Ron and Perseus bantered casually back and forth on life as heroes (and the hot babes in their respective locations), while Antigone stayed silent. Finally, Perseus noticed this.

Perseus: Say, Antigone, you've been awfully quiet this evening. Something on your mind? (grins sexily) If it's a lack of guys in your life, perhaps I can help.

Antigone: (blushes, then speaks in a quiet voice) Um, no, nothing like that. It's just that- now that I'm dead, I've been thinking about the meaning of life. What do you think it is?

Ron: (Butts in) I know! I know! The meaning of life is...making sacrifices for others!
Putting your friends above yourself!

Perseus: (Argumentatively) Do you really think life's about dying? Life's about being the
hero yourself! Defeating the bad guy. Getting the girl. Sure, you've got to have friends
helping you, but don't you want the glory after you win?

Ron: Who cares about glory? All I want to do is help Harry Potter defeat Voldemort. If
I die in the process of helping him, and no one had heard of me, I'll still be happy.

Perseus: Why would you want to ride on the coat tails of The Boy Who Lived? Wouldn't you rather be him? In fact, I quite distinctly remember you wishing you were him early on in the book. Face it, being the hero himself is the place we all desire.

Ron: Sigh...(feels defeated) I guess you're right. (Perks back up) But, wait! I remember when you were beating Medusa. You had the gods helping you. In fact, your story says that you boasted about defeating Medusa to the king...."But Perseus was saved from his folly...Two great gods were watching him." If not for these gods, you never would have become a hero. I have more respect for them than you.

Perseus: Well, okay, I was a bit of an asshole back then. And I did need their help. But in the end, I was able to defeat Medusa. Not them.

Antigone: (Hesitant voice) Um...can I speak? (Ron and Perseus nod) Well, I guess I
somewhat agree with Ron. I would rather have died than broken my integrity and not
buried my brother. As I said to my sister, "But I will bury him; and if I must die/I say that this crime is holy: I shall lie down/with him in death, and I shall be as dear/To him as he to me."

Perseus: Well, I suppose I can see where you both are coming from. But why would you want to be the unsung hero when you can be the real thing?

Ron: I- I can't explain it. But as the book went on, I somehow understood that I was not meant to be the hero. Hermione did, too. She told me that she'd told Harry after I fell, "Go on, alone. I have a feeling that it was you meant to tackle these challenges, not me." Or something to that extent. If it weren't for us, Harry never would have won. That is enough for me.

Antigone: I think that I am a hero. Through my death, Creon was able to see what wrong he had done. I knew that I had to die. I was a sacrificial lamb; my death would allow me to give my brother a proper burial and help others learn their lessons.

Perseus: Maybe you just have a different way of seeing life than me. I always knew that I was to be the brave hero. (seemingly thoughtful pause) And man, I am a stud!

Ron: In your dreams, Perseus! But anyway, I guess I agree with you. We're three
different people. We believe in three different things.

Perseus: I'm the warrior hero, I suppose.

Antigone: I am the idealistic female, the one who dies for the right deed.

Ron: And I am the trusty sidekick, the friend who would never betray. But there must be some things we agree on, right?

Perseus: Well, Ron, wouldn't you say we all believe in doing good? Maybe I'd be a little less likely to give up my life than you two, but none of us have evil intentions.

Antigone: We all have vision. We stand up for what we believe in.

Ron: And you can't forget that all of us have strong will. Which is why we disagreed
tonight. And I guess we'll have to agree to disagree, in some respects. (pauses) I'm glad you feel similarly to me, though, Antigone. We could be friends. Can I have your
address.

Antigone: (Smiles) Sure, Ron!

Perseus: Hey! I was supposed to get her address, not you!

And so the evening continued, getting away from the previous serious conversation. Ron and Perseus had a French fry fight over Antigone, and Antigone wrote about their antics in a funny letter to her living sister. At the end of the meeting, the three characters agreed that it had been and interesting, and in some ways, philosophical evening. But Ron had Harry to guard, Perseus had evil beings to kill, and Antigone had causes to sacrifice herself for. So the three parted, agreeing that someday they would meet again.

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