Kokoro No Itami Nakunaru Made Zutto: Will of the Rurouni

By: Hitokiri Gentatsu

A/N: Here is another chapter from me. Please R/R. Thank you all very much. And now on with the story.

Chapter Eight: The Shadow Hunter and the Hunted

"A hitokiri is only that until he dies...he can never be anything else."

Udo Ji'ne

RK episode 7

Subtitled

Kenshin had slipped back into that nightmarish existence he had known during the Bakumatsu, where the rule was kill or be killed. For two weeks now he had spent his nights slipping through the shadowed streets of the village, a hitokiri in search of a killer who also searched for him, yet the man refused to surface. He spent his days confined to the police station, sleeping only because he weakened body demanded it, and in trying to figure out his foe's next move. He rarely spoke unless spoken to first and ignored all else but his task. The other men in the station stayed away from him, somehow sensing the danger within the man's small frame even though they had no idea who he was. It was whispered that this man was the infamous Hitokiri Battousai but only a few of the men believed the rumor, after all the red-haired man looked to young and frail to be the legendary hitokiri.

Hideki knew that Himura was in his hitokiri/bodyguard mode, which meant that his world had narrowed to just the task at hand and the steps necessary to achieving his objective. He never spoke to anyone now and he went straight to the room assigned to him after his nightly work was done, always falling into a fitful sleep. Hideki wished there was something he could do but he had seen Himura act thusly during his bodyguard days and knew there was nothing he could do really. He also knew that Himura would not welcome the intrusion into what he considered his battle nor would he welcome the interruption in his concentration.

Kenshin was having flashbacks to the Bakumatsu, his nightly retinue to closely resembling that of his hitokiri days for his liking. He had no clear idea anymore of where he was, what he was doing, what day it was or even of who he was as the veil separating the past and present began to be pushed aside. This scared him because it meant he was falling to far into his past self and that was dangerous to the others around him. His waking and sleeping hours were beginning to blur into one nightmarish existence and the hitokiri's voice grew ever louder and stronger within his mind. His will to resist its urgings was rapidly deteriorating, and his body's strength was giving out as the fever he had suffered earlier began to return. Things around him began to became a surreal blend of past and present as his fever continued to climb.

Both the Battousai and Kenshin were frustrated by their lack of ability to find the killer. Normally, the battle experiences he had been through gave him an extra edge when it came to spotting threats but this time it didn't seem to be working. It was almost as if something was blocking his senses from his target. This, in addition to the violent nightmares he suffered during sleep, was causing the hitokiri's rage to build to new heights within him, only this rage was far colder and more volatile then he remembered it being.

Kenshin felt as if he were being slowly pulled apart by the two parts of himself as they struggled for control. In his heart, he wanted to return to the Hirayoshi farm and remain the peaceful rurouni, but in the darkness, while he patrolled the streets in search of the hitokiri that could not stop killing, his darker side called to him in a silky and seductive voice. Battousai promised him anything of he would just return to his former self and forget this nonsense about not killing. He reminded Kenshin of the power of fear he once held over his enemies and how that fear was what made him the strongest. The cold voice whispered through his mind incessantly, even in his sleep, and, as much as Kenshin tried to push it aside, it was rapidly becoming harder to do so as the weeks passed and as his fever continued to burn.

In order to keep what little sanity he had left, he repeated the vow he had made to Tomoe over and over in his mind, trying to still the dark, cold voice in his soul. He used that vow and the memory of her serene face to guide his weakening will in resisting the hitokiri's call. But even with this aid, he was uncertain how long he could hold out against the madness before it would send him spiraling back into the darkness of spirit, which had been his defense when he was known as the Hitokiri Battousai back in Kyoto.

"I have to stay in control. I cannot allow myself to return to that existence again. My will must be stronger that his."

So he continued to fight this inner battle, alone and in silence, praying that he would find the killer before he lost it and before his body gave out completely.

*

Two more weeks passed and of the killer there still was no sign. Kenshin was slipping ever so slowly back into his other self and now it was becoming apparent that he was losing the battle he had fought for the past year to win. The ray of light that had begun to grow within him was slowly fading, becoming smothered by a darkness of spirit so profound that it was blinding in its intensity. The will of the hitokiri was growing more powerful and his rage was overpowering Kenshin's normally gentler nature. Increasingly, Kenshin was becoming more and more unwilling and unable to put up more than a token resistance against this attack from within. The smell of blood was once more within his nostrils and its taste was on his tongue, even though he had yet to take a life. To late, Kenshin realized the truth. Someone was purposefully calling forth Battousai from deep inside his soul and was, even now, trying to twist that darker part of himself into someone he had not ever been; a killer who found joy in the killing.

This new Hitokiri Battousai he was becoming was far crueler and more ruthless then the original had ever been. His thoughts were more violent and his rage somehow colder then Kenshin's has ever been, even at the height of his existence as a hitokiri. Where the Battousai of the Bakumatsu had killed for a goal and to serve a purpose, this new one saw killing as a path to power and gloried in the deaths he had dealt in the past. This new, darker version of himself found joy in the mere thought of killing while the he had never enjoyed killing to begin with. Someone was trying to use him as a tool for mass destruction and chaos or they simply wanted to destroy him because he was a threat to them in some way.

"Either way, I will die unless I can break free," he thought, even as darker thoughts began to invade his mind.

"We meet again, Battousai," a cold voice said from the shadows of the alleyway Kenshin had just entered.

Battousai's nostrils flared and his eyes narrowed, as he smelled the scent of blood that blanketed the man hidden in the shadows. He looked carefully in the shadows of a nearby building and saw his adversary standing there with his arms folded. He searched his mind for a name to go with the familiar voice and after some moments found it.

"You are Kagarawa Akusura," he said matter-of-factly, his mouth set in a snarl as he remembered the man as the same one who had attacked Katsura on his way to the meeting between Satsuma and Choshu. "You were a hitokiri of some renowned in Kyoto and had claimed to be a samurai from Satsuma. But in reality you were a spy sent by the Bakufu to eliminate key figures within the Ishinshishi."

"Very good, Battousai. You remember me. I had not counted on that but no matter." Akusura laughed as he stepped from the shadows to face him. "But now that you have found me what will you do? Will you turn me in, try to avenge you fallen comrades from the past, or will you join me."

Battousai stared coldly at Akusura and remained silent, wondering what the man was up to.

"This Meiji government is weak and no one understands us anymore. These people who claim to be your friends do not understand you and turn from you when they learn your true identity. You are shunned and reviled because you were a hitokiri."

Battousai could not refute Akusura's claims but he still remained silent, his killing rage burning coldly in his amber eyes.

"Come with me. Together we will rule this land."

Kenshin could feel a part of himself wanting to answer Akusura and he took a step toward the man and then another. Kenshin screamed for Battousai to stop and, from somewhere, the rurouni found the will to resist the man's call.

"Never!" The word was as sharp as the edge of a katana and it cut through the spell Akusura was trying to weave to ensnare Kenshin's hitokiri soul. "They may fail to understand me but you have also failed in that department. Hitokiri Battousai was a ruthless and cold-blooded killer who slew without remorse or regret but Himura Kenshin, who shares this same body and soul, carries regret in his heart for all of my actions, for every death I caused. He is the one who seeks atonement for me, though I deserve only death. I will not allow you to destroy this man or to ruin our one chance for a peaceful life away from past regrets."

Battousai drew his sakabatou and his voice contained a hint of warmth, while his eyes became a bluish color as he allowed the rurouni to share space with him for a moment. "We challenge you to a contest of strength. If you win, you may kill us but if we win, you will be taken to the police to serve time for your many crimes."

Akusura laughed and looked closely at the blade. "A sakabatou? Come and fight me with your true strength. Flip your blade over."

"I refuse to do so. I will not kill again. I have sworn an oath that means more to me than even my life." The voice that spoke now was still angry but the cold edge to it had vanished, replaced with a tone of bitter sorrow.

Akusura's answer was to charge with a swift slash to the chest, which Kenshin easily avoided. He narrowed his eyes at his attacker and waited to see what the man would do, his sakabatou once more in its saya. They stood thus for some moments, neither one moving an inch or giving any signs away.

"Come," Battousai snarled impatiently, the hitokiri once more having control.

Akusura moved in one fluid motion, so fast that Battousai only barely registered the diagonal slash coming. The man's sword cut through his clothing but failed to find its target. Battousai glared at Akusura, before apparently disappearing from sight. Akusura's eyes darted around the area, hoping to catch a glimpse of him but he found nothing. Battousai stared down at him from the roof a nearby building, hatred and rage burning in his eyes, as he planned his next move. He scanned the area, trying to decide the best method of attack, wanting to end this quickly.

He leapt from the roof high into the air and hovered there for a moment before making his rapid and silent descent, his stance that of the Ryu Tsui Sen. To his great surprise, Akusura blocked it and made an attack of his own. His wakizashi sliced across Battousai's sword hand and his back as the later flipped in midair in an attempt to avoid the cut. Battousai landed in a crouch right in front of Akusura, his eyes glowing with venomous hatred, as his left hand gripped the deep cut on his right. The heady smell of blood was overpowering his reason. It didn't matter that the blood was his own; the only thing that mattered was the smell.

"You will regret that," he said in his coldest voice, which was now devoid of any other emotion. He got to his feet and took a step forward, death in his gaze and his Ki flaring. "Now you will learn why I was called the strongest and why I was feared by all."

Battousai charged Akusura, his hand on the hilt of his sakabatou, ready to unsheathe it at the last possible second. He aimed for the man's unprotected side, not caring whether the man lived or died and intent on cutting the man in two. The sakabatou connected with his side and Akusura went sprawling several feet from his original position. But, in the process of his attack, Battousai had left himself unguarded and Akusura's katana had cut him deeply across the chest.

He managed to remain standing, although his breath came in heavy gasps and the pain of his wounds was severe.

Battousai walked over to his foe and looked down where he laid, his eyes holding no pity or remorse, just glowing amber rage. He held his sakabatou gripped tightly in his right hand and that hand shook with fury as the urge to kill the man swept over him. The rurouni within fought the urge to slay the man with everything that he was. He would not allow himself to be controlled by that part of himself again. He wanted a chance to start over somewhere and he knew the only way to do that was to stop the hitokiri within him now. Kenshin also knew that, as much as Battousai grumbled about it, even he wanted to start over and make peace with his past.

The struggle between the two parts of himself lasted only few moments and Kenshin lowered his sakabatou, flipping the edged side back to its place. He looked down at Akusura again, pity and sorrow in his violet eyes.

"I have won and now you must come with me quietly to serve your time. That is the only way to atone for the crimes you have committed," he turned his back and began to walk away.

"Never!" Akusura growled and lunged at Kenshin's exposed back.

Kenshin felt the blade pierce him and then slice across his back and side as he pivoted to strike Akusura across the face with his sheathed sakabatou. Both combatants fell to the ground and Kenshin could hear the sounds of police whistles and running feet.

"Arrest that man. He is the one who had been murdering innocent people."

Kenshin smiled and moaned as his wounds spasm with pain. There was darkness on the edge of his vision and, when the next wave of pain moved over his body, he allowed it to carry him away into that darkness, knowing he had completed his mission and that the people of the village were safe now.