A/N—Warning, if you are a HP fan, DO NOT READ!!!!! I am not the biggest Harry lover in the world and I feel no guilt for what I do to him. By the way, this makes absolutely NO sense what so ever, not even to me… and I wrote it. All I know is it is about Draco. Thank you and enjoy.

Disclaimer—I do not own Harry Potter. It is the property of Warner Bros., Scholastic, and J.K. Rowling. The song belongs to… someone else. Don McLean originally wrote it, but this is more a parody of The Saga Begins by Weird Al Yankovich.

*        *        *        *        *

A long, long time ago (not really)

I can still remember

The day that I first met him

We were in his room alone

Toiling on a long project

For Transfiguration

But, when his hand touched mine it made me shiver

And the thought that was delivered

Should I go for it?

Or should I just ignore it?

I don't remember if I cried

I can't be sure 'cause I nearly died

But I know I heard the marching band

The day he touched my hand

-- long pause --

Chorus

O, my, my, this here Draco guy

Maybe blonde but he's not dumb

He's a really nice guy

He stood up for me and slapped his mum

Saying, "Stop it now! I've got a bomb!"

"Stop it now! I've got a bomb!"

Did you write the book of making out?

And why didn't God give Pansy a snout?

If she's such a dog?

And do you believe in the super bowl?

Can Draco save your mortal soul?

And, can you teach Harry how to dance at all?

Well you know that he's in love with me

'Cause you saw us dancing in the hall at 3

We both kicked off our shoes

Now maybe Potter will use them as clues

Potter's a lonely teenage loser nut

With a pink carnation and a really big butt

But, he knew that he was out of luck

The day he touched my hand

I started singing

Chorus

Now for ten years we've been on our own

And Potter's on the cover of Rolling Stone

About every month

And when he sang for the Queen of England

In a coat that he borrowed in New Zealand

And a voice that came from Don McLean

And while the Queen was looking 'round

Potter got up and stole her favorite crown

He tried to take it that night

But he never got in flight

'Cause the Queen had his broom shot down

And Potter fell all the way to the ground

And it made me remember again

The day he touched my hand

Potter was singing

Chorus

Nutter Butters and a rose cutter

Face behind a closed shutter

Potter's 8 miles high and falling fast

And when he hit the ground at last

The players tried for a forward pass

They ran him over and put him in a cast

And at half time Draco was hurting from laughter

All around the crowd was a disaster

We all got up to shout

"Potter, you eat sour crout!"

Then the players dragged him off the field

But Potter tried to refuse to yield

I remember what was revealed

The day he touched my hand

I was singing

Chorus

And then we were all in the same place

My mind was sort of lost in space

With Draco by my side, who needs me there?

So come on, Jack be nimble

Jack be quick

Potter's gone and sat on your candle stick

'Cause his fame is finally adding up

And as I watched him walk off to the asylum

My hands were clenched in fists triumph

No devil born in heaven

Could make a living in Cleveland

So I sat there hand in hand

With my boy who was in the band

And I told him he was here because

Draco touched my hand

He started singing

Chorus

I met a girl who sand the blues

And gave her some money for singing lessons

'Cause she was really bad

And I went down to the forest floor

Where I'd been with Draco years before

But the centaur made me leave

And in the streets the miserable singed

The lovers quarreled and the poets went on strike

Yet no silence was heard of

The steaks were all burned up

And the man that I admired most

Went to the asylum and killed Potter

The gave him the last bill for the water

The day he touched my hand

He was singing

Chorus(x2)

A/N—told you it made absolutely no sense. O well, R&R!!!