Chapter 5:

Tired. Exhausted. Hopeless. That was how Obi-Wan felt after many attempts, trying to contact Qui-Gon. Every time he tried to reach out, he met with an intense blanket of blackness. Obi-Wan tried to tear the blackness out, one by one, but each effort made him breathe in ragged breaths. Still he had pressed on, but the intense blackness never seemed to lighten. The process felt like he was digging sand out of the Acarian Ocean with only a small shovel. It was an endless task.

He was tired beyond comparison. He could even tangibly feel his life force draining away into the intense blackness that surrounded him. He was so tired.

It must have been hours or days that Obi-Wan found himself in this limbo- like place. He didn't know just how long it had been nor could he tell. Every minute every second in this place felt like an eternity. A few times he could have sworn he saw images of people he knew, places he had been to, but he wasn't sure if it was just all a hallucination.

Obi-Wan felt sleep pulling at him more than ever. At first he had tried to push it way and was successful most of the time, but as time went on, he was losing the self-confidence that he could pull it off. His whole body felt numb, probably from his lack of movement. Not that it would do him any good since he didn't have the energy to move anymore.

Obi-Wan lay there on his back, awaiting the inevitable fate.waiting for oblivion to claim him.

*************

Qui-Gon sat in a crumbled heap on a chair next to Obi-Wan's bed. How long had he been in that position? He didn't know and didn't care. His eyes were glued tightly on Obi-Wan's still form that was connected to several nutrient tubes.

It probably had been several hours since Qui-Gon ran breathlessly back to the Healers Ward to show An-Paj the note. As Qui-Gon had predicted, An-Paj threatened and called for people to pull Qui-Gon out.but all was in vain. Qui-Gon had struggled and fought back and in the end An-Paj had left Qui- Gon alone.

Qui-Gon now pulled his chair closer to Obi-Wan's bedside and held Obi-Wan's hand in his own.

Force, the hand felt so cold.

Qui-Gon rubbed his Padawan's hand ever so gently, hoping to pour warmth into it by his mere touch. Already, he could feel his eyes brimming with tears as he looked at Obi-Wan's serene-like face.

"Padawan, please come back to me. You can't leave me like this. I won't allow it do you hear me? I won't allow it!!!"

The tears now flowed freely down his haggard face. Qui-Gon pulled Obi- Wan's hand close to his cheeks and sobbed.

"There are so much you still need to do, to see. I still need to see you become a Jedi Knight. You will become a great Jedi Knight Obi-Wan."

Qui-Gon was now sobbing in earnest.

"For all these years.you've become more important to me than life itself. You've made this once bitter old man into someone new Obi-Wan. You've done so much for me.did I ever tell you that? You've healed a wound in me that I never thought could be healed after Xanatos' betrayal. I.I was a fool to reject you so many times, but.you were so stubborn." Qui-Gon chuckled lightly. "You demanded to be my Padawan no matter what. And.and now that you are.oh Force Obi-Wan, don't you dare give it all up. I.I won't allow it."

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//Master.I'm sorry. I tried.// Obi-Wan pleaded into the darkness that surrounded him, knowing just how painful it would be for Qui-Gon.

Obi-Wan really tried. He had tried for Force knows how long. But without any hints of improvement, it was getting difficult for him to continue on trying. All Obi-wan wanted to do was rest and let the darkness consume him.

As he was about to let darkness claim him, he saw a figure in the darkness. It was a small figure.a very familiar figure. He knew who it was but the name seemed to elude him somehow.

The figure was staring at him. Obi-Wan drained to see who it was and was shock when he finally realized it. It was Cerasi. Cerasi, his late- friend, someone he considered his first love. But what was she doing here?

"Cerasi!" Obi-Wan called out to her but the sound that came out was but a mere whisper. Obi-Wan was surprised at what he heard or what he didn't hear considering he had put all of his energy into calling her. It was then that he realized the toll of his waning energy.

Cerasi seemed to have heard him, or at least that was what Obi-Wan thought when she turned to face him.

//I really am must be dying// Obi-Wan said to himself, more of a statement than a question.

Cerasi began to walk towards his direction.

Obi-Wan tried to get up but his whole body was numb and no matter how hard the effort, he couldn't seem to move.

Cerasi was smiling at him with an affectionate glow that seemed to brighten his heart.

Obi-Wan was glad to see Cerasi again, even if it cemented the fact that he was dying.

Cerasi was still smiling at him as she walked closer to him. Suddenly, she stopped. Horror, fear, were written all over her face.

Alarmed, Obi-Wan surveyed the area around her and saw several other figures with blaster gun pointing at her. Instinctively, he knew what was happening. He was reliving Cerasi's death all over again.

"Cerasi, look out!" Obi-Wan tried with all his might to warn her just as he did a few years ago, but once again, what came out was but a mere whisper.

Cerasi didn't hear Obi-Wan. And before Obi-Wan could do anything more, he saw the blaster guns ignited on his friend.

"NO!!!!" Obi-Wan screamed but no sound came out. He tried to run to his friend but he couldn't move. He saw Cerasi's eyes enlarged in shock and pain as she slumped down to the ground.

"NO!!! .not again" Obi-Wan was now sobbing earnestly. He felt his soul being ripped apart and it was making it hard for him to breathe. "No Cerasi.no."

Though it had been several years since Cerasi's death, Obi-Wan had never forgot her. She was a part of him in life and even after death she remained a part of him. Witnessing her death again didn't bring him less pain; in fact, it hurt even more the second time around.

"Why?! Why?! Why?!" Obi-Wan tried to shout at no one in particular.

Obi-Wan laid there motionless with tears flowing freely from his face. He could feel the darkness trying to consume him, but he didn't care. He was hurting not only from exhaustion but from his very soul. Perhaps he had fear leaving Qui-Gon behind, or of death itself, but now Obi-Wan didn't care. He just wanted to stop the hurt that was clawing at his very soul. He just wanted to stop it, even if it meant letting go to the Force.

"Master!" Obi-Wan tried calling out to Qui-Gon for one last time.for one last good bye.

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Qui-Gon still continued to caress Obi-Wan's hand in his own hoping that in the next few seconds, Obi-Wan would wake up. He knew it was wishful thinking especially when An-Paj had confirmed what he dreaded most. An-Paj had confirmed the content of the note. There was no antidote and in a matter of days, Obi-Wan will die.

It was as simple as that, but it didn't mean Qui-Gon was going to accept it. Not until the last moment was at hand. And even then he would do everything he can to save Obi-Wan.

As Qui-Gon sat there, next to Obi-Wan, he reminisced all the wonderful times they'd had together. The long hours of meditation in the garden, Obi- Wan's futile attempt at cooking, their long sparring practice, Obi-Wan's ingenuity at surprising Qui-Gon with moves he made up.

A piercing sound woke Qui-Gon out of his reverie. It was a sound that he hated, dreaded, but it was loud and was so encompassing that no matter how hard Qui-Gon wanted to pretend that he didn't hear it.that it's not there.the sound still thrashed him back into reality, painful reality.

The small monitor that measured Obi-Wan's heartbeat showed a flat line.

"Oh Force no.not again! Please Obi-Wan.Don't leave me!" Qui-Gon screamed as he shook the still form of his Padawan.

Qui-Gon immediately slammed the panic button.

In a few seconds, several Healers rushed through the door. Qui-Gon stood there watching them shove him unceremoniously aside. He didn't argue, he didn't yell, he didn't do anything. He was too shock to do anything.

The scene before him seemed to flow in slow motion. He saw a Healer pull the crash cart nearby. He saw another already doing CPR on Obi-Wan. Someone yelled "clear".

Obi-Wan's limp body arched up in response.

Someone yelled "clear" again.

Then it was all muddled. Qui-Gon couldn't discern anything. His eyes were glued to the small monitor.

A flat line ran across the monitor.