Chapter 7:
A bright orange color invaded his eyes, making him squint to focus. Everything seemed to be enveloped in a cloud of fog as his vision slowly adapted itself. He tried to move his hands to rub his already watery eyes but his hand felt so numb. In fact, it didn't even move despite his hard effort. Slowly, he tried to calm his breathing, hoping to stretch out to the Force to help him move.
A second passed then two then three, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't feel the Force. He tried again, this time putting his heart and soul into it but the result was still the same.Nothing.
He could feel panic begin to seize him, making his breath short and shallow. Alarmed, he tried to call out to the one person he knew, the one person who could help him sort things out.
Master? Where are you? What's happening to me.why can't I feel the Force?! Master?
Silence.
He tried to probe out to the familiar bond that was filled with so much love and warmth.only to find nothing but a cold and deafening silence.
Panic seized him.
Perhaps it was adrenaline or fear, but in that succinct moment of panic, his once clouded vision immediately cleared. He scanned the unfamiliar room with a heavy heart, hoping to find something or someone who could tell him where he was. Oh Force he hoped he was out of that dreadful limbo-like place.
As if on cue, he heard a loud noise. He strained himself to the direction of it and saw the gentle face of a long hair, bearded man looking back at him with both worry and joy written on the man's haggard face.
At the sight of the man, his heart leapt for joy and all of his worries, fear, panic had swept aside, leaving only an immense wave of happiness.
"Master!" his voice croaked with emotion.
"Padawan!."
Both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan didn't say another word. They didn't need to, for in that moment of silence, their eyes had said it all.the love that they shared as Master and Padawan, but most of all.as Father and Son.had brought the once cold atmosphere of the Healers Ward into much livelier place.
*************
Several hours had passed since Obi-Wan finally came out of his coma-like state. A few Healers came in to check on his progress, but none of them mentioned a word about his condition. For the last few hours, Qui-Gon relayed the happenings of the last two days to Obi-Wan, telling him how worried everyone at the Temple was and of the many visits from Bant, Garen, and Reeft.
Obi-Wan listened intently, letting his Master ramble on and on. It was the first time he had seen the usually reticent Qui-Gon turned into the loquacious Qui-Gon. It amused him greatly since it was a side of Qui-Gon he had never seen. His Master still continued to amaze him everyday. Obi- Wan wanted the moment to last forever but a question still tugged at him.
"Master?.May.may I ask you something?" Obi-Wan began to say.
Qui-Gon suddenly felt a knot begin to form inside of him. He knew what Obi- Wan wanted to ask.the inevitable question.
"Yes my Padawan. You know you can ask me anything." Qui-Gon finally answered in a calm manner, hoping Obi-Wan wouldn't see through the fake façade.
"Yes Master.I..I just want to know.about" Obi-Wan stammered. "about my condition that is."
That was it.the inevitable question. Qui-Gon knew that Obi-Wan would want to know eventually, and he deserved to know the truth.but how could Qui-Gon tell the person he loved more than life itself that the condition was bleak and that he would die?! How can anyone tell that awful truth to a loved one?!
Qui-Gon searched his memory for the right words to say.
//You'd think that after years of diplomatic missions, I'd know how to.//Qui-Gon began to scold himself, but Obi-Wan interceded his thoughts.
"It's bad isn't it Master." Obi-Wan said quietly and calmly.
"No! Obi-Wan, it is not bad. Master Healer An-Paj and everyone at the lab are working very hard to."
"Master.you've never lied to me before, right?"
"Yes" Qui-Gon said meekly.
"Then please Master.tell me the truth."
With a heavy sigh and a heavy heart, Qui-Gon swallowed the lump that formed in his throat and began to inform his apprentice.
"Padawan, you've been poisoned by a rare toxin.it's..it's killing your midi- chlorian cells while secreting a toxin into your body. It also makes you hallucinate past memories."
"Oh.and there is no antidote." Obi-Wan said with acceptance.
Qui-Gon's mouth began to form the word 'No' but he couldn't bring himself to say it. His eyes were already brimming with tears as he watched his young padawan let out a small sigh of acceptance.
"No Obi-Wan.you must not lose hope. 'The future is always in motion' padawan. There may not be an antidote now but that doesn't mean there won't be one."
"Yes, Master" Obi-Wan said dutifully, not wanting to meet with Qui-Gon's gaze.
Qui-Gon wanted to yell at Obi-Wan to not lose hope like that and that there still was hope, but how could he do that when deep down in his heart Qui- Gon could already feel the tug of despair.
An awkward silence.
"Master?" Obi-Wan finally said. "I'm really tired, I want to sleep"
"Alright.rest now my Padawan. I'll be here when you wake up" Qui-Gon said as he sent some comforting waves, but he knew it was a useless thing since Obi-Wan's diminished midi-chlorian count would prevent Obi-Wan from feeling the effects of it.
Soon, Obi-Wan was fast asleep. Qui-Gon brushed through Obi-Wan's cropped ginger hair with affections as he found himself absorbed in the harmonious sound of Obi-Wan's gentle snore. It was the most beautiful sound to his ears and he hoped that it meant his apprentice wasn't reliving any painful memories. Qui-Gon wanted time to freeze this very moment. He didn't want to know what tomorrow would bring.he just wanted to enjoy the present.
A slight knock at the door roused Qui-Gon. He turned to find An-Paj at the door with a grim expression on his face.
"Qui-Gon, may I have a word with you outside?" An-Paj said in a serious tone.
"Yes, but I don't want to leave Obi-Wan"
"Alright...come" An-Paj motioned for Qui-Gon to follow him into the far back corner of the room.
"What is it An-Paj? Any developments on the antidote?"
"No, I'm afraid not Qui-Gon.and I have some bad news to tell you."
Qui-Gon braced himself inwardly, "Go ahead An-Paj"
"We've tried to break down the components of the toxin from Obi-Wan's blood sample, but as you know a virus is very difficult to discern, all of our processes have failed." An-Paj whispered
"But it still isn't hopeless right? I mean there still are things to be done."
"Yes there are still things to be done but I'm afraid Obi-Wan doesn't have that long." An-Paj said sadly.
"What do you mean?" Qui-Gon said a little too loud. Not wanting to wake Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon lowered his voice, "but I thought the new drug you've been giving him was helping."
"It was Qui-Gon, but the latest test results showed that the effects of the drug had already diminished greatly. Soon it won't have any effect at all."
"Are you saying that there is nothing left for us to do?"
"I'm afraid so Qui-Gon. Time is Obi-Wan's worse enemy now."
"I don't believe it An-Paj! I refuse to believe it. There must still be something that we haven't done .something!!"
".there.there is something" An-Paj faltered.
"What? What is it?!" Qui-Gon quickly grabbed An-Paj by the arms, trying to shake out the precious information that could help Obi-Wan.
An-Paj sighed, "Qui-Gon, listen to me.as a Healer it is my responsibility to tell you all of the possible treatments, but as a Healer and a friend, I hope you don't press me about it."
"An-Paj, I need to know. I don't care how strange or how hard the treatment is. If it could save Obi-Wan, I want it done no matter what. I can't lose him An-Paj.he's.he's." Qui-Gon almost broke down in sobs.
Seeing how shaken up Qui-Gon was, An-Paj had to acquiesce. "There is something, a treatment you can say, that we can do to prolong Obi-Wan's life until an antidote is formed, but it is a dangerous process with deadly consequences."
"What is it?"
"As you know, the virus is killing Obi-Wan's midi-chlorian cells while secreting a deadly toxin into his bloodstream. The drug that we've been giving Obi-Wan helps contain the effects of the toxin to a certain extent. That and the remaining unaffected midi-chlorians are the only reason Obi- Wan is still alive, but the drug is wearing off and his midi-chlorian count is diminishing at an alarming rate. The only way to prolong the toxin from destroying his major organs is to do a midi-chlorian transfusion."
"Is that possible?" Qui-Gon asked bewildered. He had heard of blood transfusions before but never midi-chlorian transfusions.
"It's not exactly so, at least not literally Qui-Gon. What the procedure entails is for someone with a strong bond to Obi-Wan to transfuse his life force into Obi-Wan's body to stimulate development of new midi-chlorian cells to fight the toxin, but such procedure will." An-Paj hesitated.
"Will what?"
"Will kill the person giving the life force."
"I'll do it." Qui-Gon said resolutely without any hesitance.
"I know you would Qui-Gon, but please listen to me. The procedure will at best give Obi-Wan more time, but there is no guarantee an antidote can be formed during that time. Secondly, it is still a hypothesis, we don't know if it will work, but we do know that it will kill you if you attempt it."
"I know the risks An-Paj and I still want to do it. Obi-Wan means the universe to me and I won't sit idly by waiting for a miracle when I can do something about it." Qui-Gon said with conviction.
"But have you thought about it Qui-Gon? If Obi-Wan does recover, how would he feel having known that he indirectly killed his Master? Sure Obi-Wan may survive physically, but you're sentencing his soul to an eternal guilt"
"He doesn't have to know An-Paj. Just say I was sent on a mission and was killed in the process."
"He'd never buy it Qui-Gon and you know it. Besides, a Jedi can't lie, especially not something of this significance."
".I know it will hurt him, but the pain will go away. And after all, as his Master, it is my choice in the matter about this procedure and I choose for it to be done An-Paj."
An-Paj started to say something but knew that once Qui-Gon had made up his mind, nothing could persuade him otherwise. "Then your decision it is, but you must inform the Council. I will not do anything until the Council approves Qui-Gon."
"Alright, I will inform them at once." With that Qui-Gon left the room, leaving An-Paj looking sadly after him.
An-Paj sat down next to Obi-Wan who was still sleeping peacefully. His heart was tearing at him having to tell Qui-Gon the option.knowing what Qui- Gon's decision would be beforehand. He knew that Obi-Wan meant everything to Qui-Gon and oh Force the boy was too young to die.
Immense guilt began to wash over An-Paj as he looked at Obi-Wan. He felt as though he had let his patient down. For the past few days, An-Paj didn't even sleep a wink as he tried researching through the database for possible antidotes and working with the lab technicians on possible drugs. He had done everything that was possible to be done, but he knew it wasn't enough.
The procedure that he had told Qui-Gon had been on his mind ever since day one, but he dared not mention it, hoping to find a better solution. But as the hours passed with no results, An-Paj knew the inevitable would have to come. Despite what other Healers have told An-Paj about keeping Qui-Gon away from Obi-Wan to ease the emotional attachment, An-Paj knew that the Master/Padawan bond between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan was not the simple teacher- student, but of the deeper love of Father/Son.even to the extent of two intertwining souls.
Sadly, An-Paj lightly brushed Obi-Wan's cropped hair then stood up to leave the room. He needed to go meditate because his heart was heavy with guilt and remorse. He knew that even if the Council agrees to the procedure and that an antidote can be made, he still had already condemned two people to death.Qui-Gon, physically, and Obi-Wan, emotionally.
The door closed quietly as An-Paj left for his quarters, leaving the room with a chilling air.
As soon as An-Paj had left the room, Obi-Wan opened his eyes, already brimming with tears.
A bright orange color invaded his eyes, making him squint to focus. Everything seemed to be enveloped in a cloud of fog as his vision slowly adapted itself. He tried to move his hands to rub his already watery eyes but his hand felt so numb. In fact, it didn't even move despite his hard effort. Slowly, he tried to calm his breathing, hoping to stretch out to the Force to help him move.
A second passed then two then three, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't feel the Force. He tried again, this time putting his heart and soul into it but the result was still the same.Nothing.
He could feel panic begin to seize him, making his breath short and shallow. Alarmed, he tried to call out to the one person he knew, the one person who could help him sort things out.
Master? Where are you? What's happening to me.why can't I feel the Force?! Master?
Silence.
He tried to probe out to the familiar bond that was filled with so much love and warmth.only to find nothing but a cold and deafening silence.
Panic seized him.
Perhaps it was adrenaline or fear, but in that succinct moment of panic, his once clouded vision immediately cleared. He scanned the unfamiliar room with a heavy heart, hoping to find something or someone who could tell him where he was. Oh Force he hoped he was out of that dreadful limbo-like place.
As if on cue, he heard a loud noise. He strained himself to the direction of it and saw the gentle face of a long hair, bearded man looking back at him with both worry and joy written on the man's haggard face.
At the sight of the man, his heart leapt for joy and all of his worries, fear, panic had swept aside, leaving only an immense wave of happiness.
"Master!" his voice croaked with emotion.
"Padawan!."
Both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan didn't say another word. They didn't need to, for in that moment of silence, their eyes had said it all.the love that they shared as Master and Padawan, but most of all.as Father and Son.had brought the once cold atmosphere of the Healers Ward into much livelier place.
*************
Several hours had passed since Obi-Wan finally came out of his coma-like state. A few Healers came in to check on his progress, but none of them mentioned a word about his condition. For the last few hours, Qui-Gon relayed the happenings of the last two days to Obi-Wan, telling him how worried everyone at the Temple was and of the many visits from Bant, Garen, and Reeft.
Obi-Wan listened intently, letting his Master ramble on and on. It was the first time he had seen the usually reticent Qui-Gon turned into the loquacious Qui-Gon. It amused him greatly since it was a side of Qui-Gon he had never seen. His Master still continued to amaze him everyday. Obi- Wan wanted the moment to last forever but a question still tugged at him.
"Master?.May.may I ask you something?" Obi-Wan began to say.
Qui-Gon suddenly felt a knot begin to form inside of him. He knew what Obi- Wan wanted to ask.the inevitable question.
"Yes my Padawan. You know you can ask me anything." Qui-Gon finally answered in a calm manner, hoping Obi-Wan wouldn't see through the fake façade.
"Yes Master.I..I just want to know.about" Obi-Wan stammered. "about my condition that is."
That was it.the inevitable question. Qui-Gon knew that Obi-Wan would want to know eventually, and he deserved to know the truth.but how could Qui-Gon tell the person he loved more than life itself that the condition was bleak and that he would die?! How can anyone tell that awful truth to a loved one?!
Qui-Gon searched his memory for the right words to say.
//You'd think that after years of diplomatic missions, I'd know how to.//Qui-Gon began to scold himself, but Obi-Wan interceded his thoughts.
"It's bad isn't it Master." Obi-Wan said quietly and calmly.
"No! Obi-Wan, it is not bad. Master Healer An-Paj and everyone at the lab are working very hard to."
"Master.you've never lied to me before, right?"
"Yes" Qui-Gon said meekly.
"Then please Master.tell me the truth."
With a heavy sigh and a heavy heart, Qui-Gon swallowed the lump that formed in his throat and began to inform his apprentice.
"Padawan, you've been poisoned by a rare toxin.it's..it's killing your midi- chlorian cells while secreting a toxin into your body. It also makes you hallucinate past memories."
"Oh.and there is no antidote." Obi-Wan said with acceptance.
Qui-Gon's mouth began to form the word 'No' but he couldn't bring himself to say it. His eyes were already brimming with tears as he watched his young padawan let out a small sigh of acceptance.
"No Obi-Wan.you must not lose hope. 'The future is always in motion' padawan. There may not be an antidote now but that doesn't mean there won't be one."
"Yes, Master" Obi-Wan said dutifully, not wanting to meet with Qui-Gon's gaze.
Qui-Gon wanted to yell at Obi-Wan to not lose hope like that and that there still was hope, but how could he do that when deep down in his heart Qui- Gon could already feel the tug of despair.
An awkward silence.
"Master?" Obi-Wan finally said. "I'm really tired, I want to sleep"
"Alright.rest now my Padawan. I'll be here when you wake up" Qui-Gon said as he sent some comforting waves, but he knew it was a useless thing since Obi-Wan's diminished midi-chlorian count would prevent Obi-Wan from feeling the effects of it.
Soon, Obi-Wan was fast asleep. Qui-Gon brushed through Obi-Wan's cropped ginger hair with affections as he found himself absorbed in the harmonious sound of Obi-Wan's gentle snore. It was the most beautiful sound to his ears and he hoped that it meant his apprentice wasn't reliving any painful memories. Qui-Gon wanted time to freeze this very moment. He didn't want to know what tomorrow would bring.he just wanted to enjoy the present.
A slight knock at the door roused Qui-Gon. He turned to find An-Paj at the door with a grim expression on his face.
"Qui-Gon, may I have a word with you outside?" An-Paj said in a serious tone.
"Yes, but I don't want to leave Obi-Wan"
"Alright...come" An-Paj motioned for Qui-Gon to follow him into the far back corner of the room.
"What is it An-Paj? Any developments on the antidote?"
"No, I'm afraid not Qui-Gon.and I have some bad news to tell you."
Qui-Gon braced himself inwardly, "Go ahead An-Paj"
"We've tried to break down the components of the toxin from Obi-Wan's blood sample, but as you know a virus is very difficult to discern, all of our processes have failed." An-Paj whispered
"But it still isn't hopeless right? I mean there still are things to be done."
"Yes there are still things to be done but I'm afraid Obi-Wan doesn't have that long." An-Paj said sadly.
"What do you mean?" Qui-Gon said a little too loud. Not wanting to wake Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon lowered his voice, "but I thought the new drug you've been giving him was helping."
"It was Qui-Gon, but the latest test results showed that the effects of the drug had already diminished greatly. Soon it won't have any effect at all."
"Are you saying that there is nothing left for us to do?"
"I'm afraid so Qui-Gon. Time is Obi-Wan's worse enemy now."
"I don't believe it An-Paj! I refuse to believe it. There must still be something that we haven't done .something!!"
".there.there is something" An-Paj faltered.
"What? What is it?!" Qui-Gon quickly grabbed An-Paj by the arms, trying to shake out the precious information that could help Obi-Wan.
An-Paj sighed, "Qui-Gon, listen to me.as a Healer it is my responsibility to tell you all of the possible treatments, but as a Healer and a friend, I hope you don't press me about it."
"An-Paj, I need to know. I don't care how strange or how hard the treatment is. If it could save Obi-Wan, I want it done no matter what. I can't lose him An-Paj.he's.he's." Qui-Gon almost broke down in sobs.
Seeing how shaken up Qui-Gon was, An-Paj had to acquiesce. "There is something, a treatment you can say, that we can do to prolong Obi-Wan's life until an antidote is formed, but it is a dangerous process with deadly consequences."
"What is it?"
"As you know, the virus is killing Obi-Wan's midi-chlorian cells while secreting a deadly toxin into his bloodstream. The drug that we've been giving Obi-Wan helps contain the effects of the toxin to a certain extent. That and the remaining unaffected midi-chlorians are the only reason Obi- Wan is still alive, but the drug is wearing off and his midi-chlorian count is diminishing at an alarming rate. The only way to prolong the toxin from destroying his major organs is to do a midi-chlorian transfusion."
"Is that possible?" Qui-Gon asked bewildered. He had heard of blood transfusions before but never midi-chlorian transfusions.
"It's not exactly so, at least not literally Qui-Gon. What the procedure entails is for someone with a strong bond to Obi-Wan to transfuse his life force into Obi-Wan's body to stimulate development of new midi-chlorian cells to fight the toxin, but such procedure will." An-Paj hesitated.
"Will what?"
"Will kill the person giving the life force."
"I'll do it." Qui-Gon said resolutely without any hesitance.
"I know you would Qui-Gon, but please listen to me. The procedure will at best give Obi-Wan more time, but there is no guarantee an antidote can be formed during that time. Secondly, it is still a hypothesis, we don't know if it will work, but we do know that it will kill you if you attempt it."
"I know the risks An-Paj and I still want to do it. Obi-Wan means the universe to me and I won't sit idly by waiting for a miracle when I can do something about it." Qui-Gon said with conviction.
"But have you thought about it Qui-Gon? If Obi-Wan does recover, how would he feel having known that he indirectly killed his Master? Sure Obi-Wan may survive physically, but you're sentencing his soul to an eternal guilt"
"He doesn't have to know An-Paj. Just say I was sent on a mission and was killed in the process."
"He'd never buy it Qui-Gon and you know it. Besides, a Jedi can't lie, especially not something of this significance."
".I know it will hurt him, but the pain will go away. And after all, as his Master, it is my choice in the matter about this procedure and I choose for it to be done An-Paj."
An-Paj started to say something but knew that once Qui-Gon had made up his mind, nothing could persuade him otherwise. "Then your decision it is, but you must inform the Council. I will not do anything until the Council approves Qui-Gon."
"Alright, I will inform them at once." With that Qui-Gon left the room, leaving An-Paj looking sadly after him.
An-Paj sat down next to Obi-Wan who was still sleeping peacefully. His heart was tearing at him having to tell Qui-Gon the option.knowing what Qui- Gon's decision would be beforehand. He knew that Obi-Wan meant everything to Qui-Gon and oh Force the boy was too young to die.
Immense guilt began to wash over An-Paj as he looked at Obi-Wan. He felt as though he had let his patient down. For the past few days, An-Paj didn't even sleep a wink as he tried researching through the database for possible antidotes and working with the lab technicians on possible drugs. He had done everything that was possible to be done, but he knew it wasn't enough.
The procedure that he had told Qui-Gon had been on his mind ever since day one, but he dared not mention it, hoping to find a better solution. But as the hours passed with no results, An-Paj knew the inevitable would have to come. Despite what other Healers have told An-Paj about keeping Qui-Gon away from Obi-Wan to ease the emotional attachment, An-Paj knew that the Master/Padawan bond between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan was not the simple teacher- student, but of the deeper love of Father/Son.even to the extent of two intertwining souls.
Sadly, An-Paj lightly brushed Obi-Wan's cropped hair then stood up to leave the room. He needed to go meditate because his heart was heavy with guilt and remorse. He knew that even if the Council agrees to the procedure and that an antidote can be made, he still had already condemned two people to death.Qui-Gon, physically, and Obi-Wan, emotionally.
The door closed quietly as An-Paj left for his quarters, leaving the room with a chilling air.
As soon as An-Paj had left the room, Obi-Wan opened his eyes, already brimming with tears.
