Ack! Don't hate me because it's hokey! Please! *cowers behind computer chair* No really, this is where everything starts to get a bit...umm...well, cheesy. ^_^;; (hopefully not as cheesy as some of the episodes in the series were, though...>_)

It actually sounded good at the time, and well...now...umm...yeah. Anyway, this is an extra long part because I needed to explain some stuff and not leave people wondering 'what the hell?' ... or at least not as many people. >_ I'll explain more in the next part, honest! (You know, like mission details. And just why *does* Aya know so much about the mission that Yohji and the others didn't? Makes you wonder, eh? ^_^;;)

And I mean no disrespect to God or any religious people out there; Schu's opinion on the matter of God and other religious matters does not reflect my own opinions. I also hope I didn't even have to say that, because I'm hoping that whoever is reading this fic is mature enough to understand the difference between fiction and reality. This fic is meant to entertain, not offend. Please keep that in mind as you read it.

*...* is normal thought,

//...// is Schuldig 'speaking' to Ken...this way you can tell the difference, ne? ^_^

~silvershadeus~

feedback, onegai! ^_^

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Weiß Kreuz related that would result in my being sued...I'm just borrowing the characters and such for a little while.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SNAFU - Part 5

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Considering their surroundings, Yohji was expecting the door to creak as it slowly opened inwards, adding to the horror movie atmosphere. What he got was the muted click and slide off a lock being undone, and a half-familiar face looking back at them, as the door was pulled open without so much as a squeak.

"It's you."

The words were spoken in an almost resentful tone, the young woman before them watching them with an angry scowl on her face. If it weren't for that, and the fact that she was wearing bloodstained robes, Yohji would have thought her pretty, in an unconventional way. Long blonde hair was pulled back into two thick braids that hung down her back, feathery tendrils of hair that fell across large brown eyes. As it was, Yohji found her unblinking countenance disturbing.

Aya, as to be expected, showed no outward signs of what he was thinking or feeling.

"You called us." He said, obviously expecting some kind of response from her.

Her eyes widened briefly before narrowing into angry slits, the scowl becoming more pronounced. Yohji was reminded of a former girlfriend that had looked like that right before she started yelling and throwing things at him.

"I do believe that you are mistaken."

Standing slightly behind and to the side of Aya, Yohji was able to catch the slight tightening of the skin around Aya's eyes, the way he squared his jaw... Aya was not a happy camper. Glancing back at the blonde-haired woman, Yohji tried to remember where he'd seen her before. He was sure he would have remembered anyone who could match Aya glare for glare like that.

"Perhaps you are the one who is mistaken."

Yohji glanced at Aya, then back at the woman. It was obvious that they were not going to get anywhere while they indulged themselves in a glaring contest.

"Look...as amusing as it is watching you two make eyes at each other, I for one would like to know what exactly we're doing here. And, by the way, if it's not too much trouble, could we maybe get out of the hallway?"

Ignoring the glares he received for his trouble, Yohji glared back. Although he didn't know what was behind the half-open door, he was certain it couldn't be as bad as the hallway. And at least the lighting was better.

"Is he with you?" The woman asked, eyes flitting dismissively over Yohji.

Aya nodded, shooting Yohji a look that clearly warned him to keep his big mouth shut if he didn't want a katana blade wedged between his ribs.

"Fine. You might as well come in then. They'll find this place sooner or later anyway."

Following Aya as the blonde woman held the door open; Yohji was surprised to see that the room was fairly large. At least the size of the entire first floor of the Koneko, with hallways leading off to other rooms deeper in the building. Looking around, Yohji thought the place looked eerily like the waiting room of a doctor's office...minus the requisite out of date magazines, of course.

Walking past them, the woman took a seat in a leather-upholstered chair facing them. Resting her arms on the elegantly carved armrests, she looked like nothing else so much as a displeased queen on her throne.

"You said that I called you? While I cannot say that you were lying, I can assure you that I was not the one who contacted you."

Wondering if he was the only one aware of the stench of blood in the air or the sickening splotches of crimson on the woman's clothing, Yohji watched Aya closely for his response. He needed something to ground him in reality at the moment, and Aya was as stable and reliable as Yohji could get. There were certain things about Aya Fujimiya that never changed, no matter what mood he was in, or what was happening around him.

"I pray that you forgive me, sister, but I was the one who called them. I felt that circumstances warranted it."

All eyes turned to the new speaker, Yohji's widening slightly. Another blonde stood just in the doorway leading to a back hallway, dressed identically to the woman seated before them, in dark gray robes, bloodstains included.

"Sister?" Yohji blurted, his gaze going from one blonde to the other.

"Yes. I am Hanako, and you have already met my older sister, Kei."

"Already met..."

Giving Yohji a look from the corner of his eye, Aya gave a small shake of his head.

"In the tunnels. She was the one performing the ceremony."

Yohji's eyes widened. So that's where he'd seen her face before. Right before everything had gone to hell. But then...didn't that mean that she was -

Seeing the sudden recognition and understanding in Yohji's eyes, Kei snorted rudely. Getting to her feet, she walked over to stand beside her sister.

"Yes...I was the one performing that damned ceremony...and the four of you were meant to stop it. Obviously, you failed."

"We didn't understand what we were up against. You didn't tell us Schwarz would be involved."

Raising a skeptical eyebrow at Aya's statement, Kei turned back to face him. Doubt was plain on her face.

"I see...and if you had known? Would you still have failed to protect your comrades in such a spectacular manner? You do realize what the ceremony was meant to do, do you not? You were told, were you not? Are you going to blame your failure on others, simply because you are incompetent?"

To Yohji's surprise, Aya had no answer for Kei's accusations. For that matter, neither did he. He was getting the sneaking suspicion that Aya knew far more about this mission than he'd been letting on. In fact, he doubted he would be too far wrong to say that Aya had been holding out on him. And maybe the others as well. The thought did not sit well with him.

"Aya?"

"You were given all the information that you needed. We were told that you would be able to handle yourselves. We were as much at risk as any of you, and yet you still failed to do your duty. You failed not only yourselves, but your teammates."

Yohji felt a sinking feeling in his gut as Aya visibly winced.

"You - "

"Sister! Enough, I beg you. They feel the loss of their comrades as a physical pain; you can see it in their eyes. Please, do not make things worse for them."

Breaking off mid-sentence, Kei looked into her sister's eyes and reluctantly subsided, though the angry look in her eyes remained. Smiling sadly, Hanako walked forward, reaching for Aya's hands.

He jerked backwards, nearly bumping into Yohji.

"We didn't come here for you to offer us your pity. You told me that you'd found him. Is he here?"

Hanako looked taken aback by Aya's tone of voice, but quickly regained her composure. Kei watched silently, dark eyes focused intently on Aya, as though waiting for something.

"Ye... Yes, his body is. But it has been badly wounded. Interrupting the ceremony as you did was dangerous...for all involved. We are lucky though, his body will recover, given enough time."

The bad feeling was back, and Yohji couldn't quite find it within himself to be surprised when the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. It wasn't so much what she'd said, but rather the phrasing she'd used.

"His body?"

Hanako turned apologetic brown eyes on Yohji, a sad smile on her face.

"The ceremony was successful, in a manner of speaking. The ultimate purpose for it was achieved, though the results were not as we had expected. But...perhaps that is a blessing in and of itself. No lives were lost this way, and there is still a chance that - "

"You said that there was a possibility that you could tell us if our friends were alive or not once you'd found him. Were you telling the truth?"

Blinking at Aya's tone of voice, Hanako cocked her head to the side, regarding him thoughtfully.

"As long as his mind is stable in its new setting, I should be able to determine that. But his body is still too weak. If I were to attempt something as dangerous as that, it would kill it. And any hope of finding your friends state of being, as well I'm afraid."

Wondering just when it was he'd inadvertently stepped in into the Twilight Zone; Yohji closed his eyes and counted slowly backwards from ten. Maybe when he opened his eyes the world would be back to making sense again. Or as much as it ever had.

Opening his eyes, he found Aya scowling at him, violet eyes narrowed in irritation. Hanako was watching him with a confused expression on her face, and Kei was smirking nastily at him. No, things had definitely taken a turn for the weird.

He was tempted to pinch himself to see if he was dreaming, but at the look in Aya's eyes, he stifled the impulse. Besides, as he well knew, only life could be as bizarre and confusing as that. His dreams tended to be much, much simpler.

"Aya...since I'm assuming whatever it is you're talking about has something to do with what you told me this morning, I'm going to assume that you're talking about Schuldig. But let me know if I'm wrong here, okay?"

Aya grunted noncommittally, inclining his head slightly in acknowledgement of Yohji's mental capacities.

"Okay then...so the bastard survived that explosion?"

Aya grunted again. "Apparently."

"So...that means that Ken and Omi probably survived too, since they were caught up in it along with him?"

Aya looked like he wanted to agree with Yohji's reasoning, but something in his eyes told Yohji that he couldn't. Not without definite proof. Seeing it, Yohji smiled. He understood what Aya couldn't say. Understood why he couldn't say it.

"So then why are we just standing around here for? Why don't we go back down into the tunnels and look for them?"

"Yohji...Tanaka's men scattered down there when we interrupted the ceremony. It's too dangerous to begin looking until we have a reference point to start from."

Aya sounded tired and worried, though Yohji doubted either Hanako or Kei heard it in his voice. It was something only someone who'd known Aya long enough would know to listen for.

"Okay then, how are we going to do that?"

Hanako shifted nervously, her eyes darting back to meet those of her sister.

"We...I can help you with that, but it will take some time."

"What do you mean by that?"

Sighing, Hanako toyed with the end of one long braid, unwilling to meet Yohji's eyes. It was clear that what she had to say was not an easy thing for her. Yohji smiled at her in what he hoped was a reassuring manner.

"Do...do you believe in magic?"

**********

It was silent for a long time inside Ken's head.

Schuldig? Did you hear -

//Yes, I heard what you said, Weiß. I may not have ears at the moment, but I did hear you!//

Sighing, Ken kept an eye on Omi as he conversed with the clearly upset German.

//Damn right I'm upset! If you'd stop rubbing it in my face that I don't have a body I think things between us would be going a hell of a lot better!//

Schuldig...look, I'm sorry, all right? It's just...how can you be so sure that you still have a body? I mean...

//I don't know I how, I just know.//

But...how?

Ken felt that odd fluttering sensation in his mind that was a mental equivalent to a sigh, and an odd pressure in his mind as though Schuldig was pacing.

//I am.//

What?

//Pacing. Or as close to it as I can get, anyway.//

Okay, but that doesn't explain how you know that -

Another frustrated sigh.

//How do you know you're alive? How do you know you're sentient? How do you know you have a soul? You just know, don't you? That's how I know my body is still in one piece.//

Frowning, Ken didn't see Omi edging away from him.

You believe people have souls? That's something I never thought I'd hear you say. It's a little...I don't know...religious I guess. I never thought of you that way.

//Just because I'm not on the side of truth and justice doesn't mean that I don't believe in God. The bastard has to exist; otherwise, there'd be no Devil. And I believe in the concept of souls, because mine's been damned since I took my first breath, but I'm sure you don't want to hear about that right now, do you? I know my body's intact because I can feel it. I'm still...'anchored' to it, for lack of a better word.//

'Anchored' to it? I don't -

//I'll explain it all later if you want, but for now, I'd keep a closer eye on the chibi if I were you. He looks like he's going to bolt any minute now.//

Swearing under his breath, Ken turned his attention back to Omi, who was still moving slowly away from him.

"Omi...wait. Let me explain, please? I know this whole thing is kind of...freaky...but there is an explanation for it."

"Ken-kun...I'm starting to remember a little bit about what happened, I think. Little bits and pieces...but..."

Ken's chest felt tight at the utter confusion in Omi's voice, coupled with fear. He knew Omi hated dark places. He knew Omi hated not remembering, because it brought back bad memories. He knew Omi hated -

//Yes, yes. The chibi hates a lot of things, I get it. That last part didn't really make any sense you know, but I guess I should expect that coming from you. Now talk to him before he scares himself worse.//

Ken never thought he'd have occasion to be grateful to Schuldig, but at that moment, he was.

//Yes, well...don't tell anyone, and we can call it even.//

Even? But -

//Talk to the chibi already, would you? You might as well tell him you're crazy, he probably thinks you are by now.//

"Omi...what do you remember? Exactly, I mean. It might make what I have to say easier."

Omi shifted his feet nervously, obviously unsure of what to do or say. Ken found he couldn't blame him, not in those circumstances at any rate. For all Omi knew, he could have had some nutty German assassin wandering around lose in his head. Go figure.

//Oh how very amusing, Weiß. You do have a sense of humor...I was beginning to wonder.//

Choosing to ignore Schuldig's sarcastic comment, Ken focused his attention on Omi, straining his eyes to see in the darkness surrounding them.

//That won't work, you know. Even I can barely see in this light.//

Wondering idly how Schuldig was able to see in the first place, Ken decided to set Omi at ease by moving into a less threatening position.

//Although I don't see how you could consider that a threatening stance, Weiß. You can barely stand, let alone chase after him.//

But he doesn't know that, does he? Ken shot back, carefully lowering himself until he was sitting in a cross-legged position facing Omi.

Omi had taken a wary step away from Ken as he'd moved, but stopped when he realized what he was doing. A tiny smile tugged at his lips at the maneuver. Ken wanted him to let his guard down. That was fine with him; he didn't think he was up to running that far anyway. And besides...it was Ken.

"Where did you want me to start, Ken-kun?"

//Try from the beginning and on from there?//

Shut up, Schuldig.

//Well where do you want him to start then? That makes as much sense as anything else, don't you think?//

Schuldig...

//Fine, fine, I'll shut up. Maybe I can see if you have any memories from when you were a baby stuffed away somewhere in here...those should be good for a laugh or two. It's amazing, what the subconscious remembers that the conscious mind isn't aware of, you know. Absolutely amazing.//

Not liking the sound of that in the least, Ken winced as he felt that strange little 'nudging' sensation in the back of his mind.

Schuldig!

//Hmmm...let's see...high school memories...nope. Nice haircut, by the way. Very chic.//

Blushing as the memory of his first day of high school, and that haircut his mother had insisted on him having, Ken's squeezed his eyes shut as he heard Schuldig laughing in his mind.

Schuldig!

//Primary school...interesting, but no. What's with the outfit, anyway, Weiß? You look like a little girl...how...precious.//

Schuldig, you fucking bastard! Stop that!

Still laughing, Schuldig gave Ken's mind a vicious little jab, and then he was gone. Back to that little corner that he'd claimed for himself, his laughter reverberating through Ken's head.

**********

It sounded like one of his pickup lines, and Yohji was hard pressed not to laugh out loud at the absurdity of it all. And then he looked over at Aya.

'Do you believe in magic?'

The smile on his face vanished as he saw Aya's expression. Tired, angry, and worst of all, at least from Yohji's point of view...resigned. As though he actually believed in this mumbo jumbo bullshit that the two crackpot sisters were -

"Yohji. She's serious."

It was like the final straw on the camel's back.

"Like hell! Aya, I can't believe that you of all people would believe that - "

"Think about it, Yohji. How else can you explain half of the things we've seen?"

Yohji stared dumbfounded at Aya. Aya, who seemed to be taking the fact that magic was a very real factor in the matter of their missing teammates as calmly as though he was discussing the weather. Or listening to someone discuss the weather...Yohji sincerely doubted Aya would waste the energy needed to have such a conversation.

Aya, who was listening to Hanako as the woman blathered on about the technical details involved in finding said teammates. Aya, the most grounded person Yohji knew. The one person he'd never thought would believe so easily in what these two harpies had to say. Aya...Aya who was looking at him expectantly, his eyes asking Yohji to just trust him, goddammit.

Aya, who had just made a frightening amount of sense in his usual succinct manner, as much Yohji would have liked to protest it..

"Well?"

"Aya, I think you and these women," Yohji began, gesturing sharply at Hanako and Kei, "are fucking nuts. But if they can help us find Ken and Omi...I guess I have no choice, now do I?"

Aya's expression didn't change, but Yohji saw the silent thanks in his eyes. Turning away from him, Yohji fixed Hanako with a particularly intent look, green eyes narrowed.

"Magic, huh? How does it work?"

Hanako blushed sheepishly, one hand going to her mouth.

"Um...I suppose that was a bit of an exaggeration on my part, really. It's not so much magic, as it is - "

"It's not magic. It's spiritual power. Power of the mind, and in turn of the body. Magic is just a convenient label for it. It makes dealing with the outsiders like yourselves so much easier when phrased that way. I don't know, nor do I care to know what is you claim to have seen in the past, but what my sister and I are talking about is far different."

Deciding that he really didn't like Hanako's older sister, Yohji refrained from glaring at her. It wouldn't be rewarding if she weren't affected by it.

"Okay, fine. How is whatever you're going to do supposed to work, then? I seem to have left my Spiritual Power for Dummies book at home. Stupid me."

Hiding a smile behind her hand, Hanako stole a glance at her sister before answering.

"It's really sort of complicated, actually. It might take a while to explain everything."

Sighing, Yohji glanced over at Aya, who just looked back, face blank.

"You said something about having to wait until Schuldig's body was stronger before you could try anything, didn't you?"

Kei, looking surprised that Yohji had even been paying attention at that point, gave him an appraising look. For his part, Yohji tried not to think about her eyes wandering over his body. The woman just plain gave him the creeps. It was something about her eyes. Judging by the look in Aya's eyes, he didn't much like her either. Of course, there was also the fact that Aya didn't really like people he didn't know, but...

"That's true. His body is too weak to be able to help us."

"Then wouldn't you say that we have plenty of time for you to explain what it is you're going to be doing to his body? If it wouldn't be lowering yourselves too far to explain such things to us mere mortals, that is."

"Very well. If you insist." Kei said coldly, striding over to reclaim her chair.

A moment later, Hanako took a seat in a chair beside her sister, while Yohji settled into a couch facing them. Aya remained standing, just to the side of the couch, hands clasped behind his back.

"Oh, I do. I really, really do." Yohji said, leaning forward. "I really do insist you explain this whole thing to me, because I just can't fucking see what the hell it has to do with anything right now. It's taking everything I have to keep from snapping. So if you would be so kind?"

"I...see. It begins like this..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bwhahahahahahahahahaha! Erm, I mean TBC...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(I also apologize for making my two OC's (and Yohji...>_) sound like a couple of pimps...it was
totally unintentional, really. All that talk about what to do with Schu's body and all, you know. >_;;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~