A/N Hi ya'll! This is a strange story about Harry reminiscing about his past on his (not so) sweet sixteenth birth day.

Disclaimer I own nothing so don't sue.

There are really only two things to worry about in life,

Whether you are well or you are sick

If you are well there is nothing to worry about

If you are sick you only have two things to worry about,

Whether you will get better or die

If you get better than there is nothing to worry about

If you die than there are only two things to worry about,

Whether you will go up or down

If you go up than there is nothing to worry about

If you go down than you'll be so busy shaking hands with old friends you won't have time to worry about anything!

Old Irish Proverb (cute isn't it?)

1 Sweet Sixteen

Ah, midnight the beginning of my birthday. My favorite time of year. Ah, wait there was that one time…

"So and what did the ugly lug do when he rescued you from those muggles?" Asked my best friend, Draco Malfoy.

I remembered what the ugly giant had said

"Would yer mind not ter mention that ter anyone at Hogwarts. I, er, not supposed ter do magic."

Oh well.

"…And then he tried to turn Dudley into a pig but all he could do was get a tail on his butt!"

I chuckled. Ah, Dumbuldore overheard and let's just say that Hagrid sort of lost his position as gamekeeper. Hmm…I wonder how he and the dementors are getting along. Oh and what about my sorting?

"Hmm…your folks would murder me if I put you in Slytherin, but that seems to be your only strength, being evil…" The hat whispered in my ear.

"And I'll rip you to shreads if you don't put me with Malfoy!" I screamed in my head.

"Whoa, chill out! SLYTHERIN!!" The hat shouted.

Ah, the good times. And then there was that time when I was petrifying all this stupid little mudbloods. That was pretty fun but it got boring after a while.

Oh my god! It's already 8 o'clock! Time to terrify the Dursleys. I walked downstairs. Dudley was waiting at the bottom of the stairs for me.

"Er, hi, Harry. I bought a gift for you. I hope you like it." Dudley said, pleadingly.

I shoved him out of the way.

"Out of the way Tubbo!"

Dudley began to cry.

"And where's my bacon Aunt Petunia?"