A Visit Down Under

SUMMARY: General Hammond thinks they have been through enough stress lately, so he's sending SG-1 on a holiday to his cousin's farm in Australia. (Sequel to The Time Ever After, and I suggest you read that first)

SPOILERS: Probably 100 Days, Window of Opp, Divide and Conquer, Entity, Point of View, Solitudes and of course for my fic that I wrote before this!

SEASON: Uh, no idea! Sometime after Entity. But I haven't actually seen Entity, so don't kill me if I stuff up details and stuff. I've only read the script!

RATING: G - for General Viewing, lol.

CATEGORY/IES: Romance/ Humour/ General (bit of Action with the cows)

CONTENT WARNINGS: None - maybe some violence between cows and fish. And there'll be one gunshot, maybe two…but that's it.

PAIRINGS: Jack/Sam. A tiny little bit of Daniel/Janet

DISCLAIMER: Hey! I just realised what that word actually means. It means that you DIS CLAIM something. That's funny. OH oh, now you all think I'm weird. I knew what it meant, I just didn't know what it stood for…oh yeah the Disclaimer. Um…well I don't own SG-1, SGC, Stargate SG-1, Stargate any of the Stargate characters. But I DO own Hammond's cousins' farm and his cousins. I own the cows and sheep, the fences, the houses, the caravan, the TV's the…OK you get the point!!

OK LETS START HEY??

CHAPTER ONE

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"Down Under!" Colonel Jack O'Neill said, stepping into the terminal at Melbourne Airport. "I've always wanted to come here."

"So why didn't you, sir?" Major Samantha Carter, his 2IC, asked.

"Because…I just didn't," Jack replied, he looked around. "Danny-boy! Where's the bags?"

A man with short brown hair and glasses, wearing shabby clothes walked towards them. He was reading a map of some kind. He looked up and squinted.

"You know what Jack? I have no idea," Dr Daniel Jackson replied.

A tall, bulky, man was standing on the other side of Jack. He had a fishing hat pulled over his forehead and he kept pushing it down as if he was afraid someone would see underneath. The truth was, he was afraid someone would see underneath. You see Teal'c wasn't from around here, or anywhere on Earth for that matter, Teal'c was from another planet.

"Ah, for crying out loud," he muttered, grabbing the shoulder of the nearest man. "Where's the luggage terminal?"

"Right over there," the man said, pointing towards a metallic door.

"Thanks…" Jack said, then he looked at the guy again. "…Mate."

Sam smiled, so did Daniel. Teal'c gave Jack a confused look.

"Mate? I do not understand…" Teal'c said.

"You will, buddy, just hang around Australia long enough and you'll understand a helluva lot more," Jack said, heading towards the luggage.

Teal'c followed closely behind Jack, but Sam hung back with Daniel. The two of them were like brother and sister, had been ever since they'd met. Only thing was that they got on better than normal siblings, and they weren't really related of course.

"You know I've always wanted to come to Australia, study some ancient Aboriginal artefacts or something," Daniel said, looking around. "But this place looks exactly like the US."

Sam smiled. "Well Australia is a lot like the US on the outside, but you drive a couple of hours inland and its totally different."

Daniel looked at her, confused. "How do you know that?"

"I did a project on Australia in third grade," Sam smiled.

"And you still remember that?" Daniel asked, with amazement.

"Well…actually…" Sam had a sheepish smile. "I pulled my old project box out from the cupboard the other day because I remember I had it. Thought it might have some good info on Australia. Turned out it didn't really say much, just lots of pictures."

Jack turned around. "You two might wanna hurry up or we'll miss our ride."

Sam looked over in his direction. He was standing with another man, one she'd never seen before. He was wearing a checked shirt and plain beige pants. He had a bit of a stomach around his waste, and he had large glasses sitting on his nose. He had messy grey hair. He smiled as Sam and Daniel met up with them.

"Hi, I'm Bruce," he said, holding out a hand, he had a thick Australian accent. "You must Samantha Carter and Daniel Jackson. George's told me a lot about you guys, seem to be some of his favourites."

"What exactly has he told you?" Sam asked, smiling.

"Nothing good," Bruce said, smiling.

"Well then I guess he hasn't left anything out!" Jack smiled. "Here's my bag."

He pulled a large black suitcase off the conveyer belt. Sam leaned over and pulled her brown bag off the conveyer belt as well. Teal'c had only brought a small suitcase and Daniel had brought two large ones.

"Danny-boy, shouldn't Carter be the one with all the suitcases? I mean she is the woman around here," he grinned.

"Thanks, sir," Sam replied.

The five of them made their way out of the airport towards the carpark. Sam noticed that they didn't seem to be near the city when they stepped outside. Actually it looked more like the country to her.

"Bruce, why isn't the airport anywhere near the city?" Sam asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.

"It is, only about a half hour drive," Bruce informed her.

"That's not that close," Sam commented.

"Well, we're going three hours away from the city," Bruce said. "That's the real country, bit of a different I'd say."

"How far away is the closest city?" Sam asked, throwing her bag into the back of the car.

"About eight hours on the freeway," Bruce said. "I dunno really, never been there."

"You've never been to another city?" Sam asked.

"Oh I been to Sydney and Adelaide for cattle and horse shows, but never been to Canberra. Boring little whole that place is," he said. "You wanna get in the car?"

"Oh yeah," Sam said, opening the door of the car.

The car was one of the ute's with the closed back. There was just enough room for all of them to squeeze into the car. Teal'c had taken the front seat, because he took up the most amount of space. Daniel had one window seat and Sam had the other, Jack was squashed in the middle.

"You don't have anything bigger do ya?" Jack asked, squirming uncomfortably.

"Nah, mate, sorry," Bruce said. "We have a van, but the engine don't work so good. Not the best for a three hour drive. We're hoping it'll be fixed by the time ya all go back to the USA. I could've brought the Mercedes, but that's even more squashy."

"Mercedes? On a farm?" Daniel asked.

"We need a nice car to go to shows and stuff in mate, all farmers need their Merc or BMW," Bruce informed him. "So have you folks eaten anything lately?"

"We had plane food," Jack said. "But what you really should ask is 'Have you eaten anything that has taste or substance in it?'"

Bruce laughed quietly. "OK I'll take ya to McDonald's just before the Westgate Bridge, then we'll go into town for dinner tonight."

"Town?" Jack repeated.

"Near the farm," Bruce explained to him. "It's about a twenty minute drive."

"Ah," Jack said.

They stopped off at McDonald's and then Bruce decided to take them over the Westgate Bridge. He said it wasn't that exciting, but he might as well show them some of Melbourne while they were in the area.

"Dammit," Bruce muttered.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked, craning her neck to see what the trouble in front of them was.

They'd been stuck on the bridge for the past ten minutes and they weren't even at the top yet.

"Road works," Bruce said, trying to turn into the right lane, but he was cut off by a motorcycle. "Bloody hell mate, you could've been killed!" he shouted out the window.

"Sorry mate, didn't see ya indicator," the bikie shouted back.

"It's OK mate," Bruce shouted back.

Daniel leaned over in front of Jack so Sam could hear him as well. "Now I know where they get the reputation for saying 'mate' from. They use it in every second sentence."

Sam smiled and leaned back in her seat. Within half an hour they were on their way again. The spent the next two and a half hours chatting and asking questions. When they finally turned off the freeway Sam decided that the airport wasn't in the country after all. All she could see for miles was farms and cattle, not even any houses.

"How much longer?" Jack asked, shifting in his seat again, squashing Sam closer to the door.

"Sir, move over," Sam said, pushing him away.

"Ow," Daniel exclaimed from the other side of the car.

"Five minutes," Bruce said, smiling. "Sorry bout the car space."

"Oh no its fine, we don't mind," Jack said sarcastically. "I mean its not that squashy in the backseat."

Sam smiled. Suddenly as they reached the top of a hill a house came into view. Actually three houses appeared, far apart, but close enough to be on the same property; as far as Sam could tell anyway.

"Here we are," Bruce said, turning into the driveway. "The farm."

"It doesn't have a name?" Daniel asked.

"Killington," Bruce replied. "But we just call in the farm."

"Ah," Daniel said.

Bruce stopped the car and Jack leaned over Sam and opened the door. "Get out, quickly!"

Sam smiled and stepped out of the car. Jack stepped out after her, stretching his arms out in a yawning position.

"Finally, fresh air and room," he said, looking around. "Lots of room."

"Talking about rooms, Sam you'll be staying in the caravan over there. And you three guys will be staying in one of the inside bedrooms," Bruce informed them, walking up the path towards the old, downtrodden house.

Teal'c subconsciously pulled the hat on his head further over his forehead. Suddenly Sam realised that maybe it wasn't going to be so easy to hide Teal'c's symbiont from Hammond's family. But she decided this wasn't the time to discuss that.

"Carter you need help taking your bag to your caravan?" Jack asked, the look in his eye telling her that he needed to discuss something with her.

"Not really sir, but you can come along anyway," she said.

Bruce nodded. "You two come this way."

Teal'c and Daniel followed Bruce towards the main house and Jack started towards the small caravan. Sam walked after him, looking around her. There were hills or mountains in the distance. They seemed to be at the top of a slope. Down the slope there was a dirt road, which lead to another house about a kilometre away. To her right there was a hay shed and behind that she could see paddocks full of cows. To her left was a wood shed and a chicken pen. Behind that there were more paddocks and more cows. Right in front of her was a paddock full of sheep.

"Carter," Jack said as he opened the door. "Ladies first."

"Thanks, sir," she said, stepping inside and putting her bags down.

The caravan was nice. To her right there was a kitchen bench and above that cupboards. In front of her was a small TV and to her left was another couch, around the small kitchen table and behind that there was a double bed with a small table on each side. All the curtains were held back by tie-backs.

"Nice," Jack said. "I bet you where I'm staying is a dump."

Sam smiled. "It won't be that bad."

"Better than the accommodation at the SGC?" Jack asked.

"How often do you use that?" Sam replied.

"More often than you think," Jack said.

"You wanted to talk to me about something?" Sam asked, changing the subject.

"Uh, you know the other day when we were at my house, with Luke and when Daniel walked in and I…sorry I didn't mean to do anything to make you feel uncomfortable," Jack spat out.

"It's OK," Sam said, turning away and feeling her cheeks turn bright red. "Uh, maybe we should go back up to the house now."

"OK," Jack said, turning to leave, without his usual 'ladies first'.

Sam followed silently, thinking about the wonderful kiss they'd shared at Jack's house only a few days earlier.