CHAPTER FIVE

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Sam spent the rest of the day being silent. All the way through dinner she was silent. Jack didn't even turn up for dinner. He'd gone out with the Moran's to do some more fishing, but in the real lake, with real fish. Daniel kept shooting her worried glances all the way through dinner. It was unusual for her to be so quiet, even when she was tired.

"Sam you OK?" he asked eventually.

"Fine," she said. "Just thinking."

"Surprise, surprise," Daniel muttered.

Normally Sam would've said something back. But her mind was too busy with other thoughts to think about a comeback for Daniel. She put her fork onto her plate and started playing around with her food. Anna looked across at her and then at Daniel in question. Daniel just shrugged. Sam saw it all out of the corner of her eye, but she didn't say anything. Her mind was elsewhere.

"Sorry I'm late," Jonathan said, walking into the kitchen. "Hey Charlotte."

"Hi," she said, leaning over and kissing him on the lips.

Sam felt a stab of pain in her heart. She looked up as Jack followed closely behind. She couldn't say or do anything like that. She looked back down at her plate and fiddle with her food again. Why did everything have to be so difficult?

Jack sat down next to her and started putting food on his plate. "You not hungry, Carter?"

Carter, she repeated to herself. He was back in that mode. He wasn't going to try anything anymore, especially not with everyone else around.

"No, sir, I'm fine," she replied.

Sir, she also repeated. I hate that word.

Jack shrugged and started eating his food, joining in Bruce and Jonathan's conversation about something. Sam didn't even know what they were talking about. The same thoughts kept running over and over in her mind. Actually it was more one word that kept repeating itself in her thoughts. Why? Always why?

But she couldn't think of an answer. It wasn't like a maths or physics problem. It wasn't even like trying to choose what to do in battle. In battle she always knew what to do. She didn't have to think about it, it came automatically. This kinda thing was also supposed to come automatically. The only thing was that what she would normally automatically do, she couldn't. Because of the regulations.

Oh god, I keep repeating myself, she thought. I'm going nuts. I'm going to go insane. I'm going to…

"Carter?" Jack asked.

"Yes, sir?" she replied, immediately.

He looked at her as if to say she'd answered too quickly. "Can you please pass the salt?"

"Yes, sir," she said.

She passed the salt and stood up. She gathered her plate and cutlery and took it to the sink. Then she wandered through the house. They'd been there for a few days and she hadn't even seen the whole house properly yet. She'd been too preoccupied.

She walked down the hallway and looked into the first room on her left. It was obviously Anna's room. There were posters hanging (or falling off) on the wall. Sam smiled, remembering when she'd been that age and everything had seemed to easy, until her mum had died. She sighed and turned to the opposite room, the one to her right.

It was the guest room. They one Daniel, Jack and Teal'c were sharing. There was a bunk and a single bed. Daniel and Teal'c were sharing the bunk and Jack had the single bed. She could tell because they all had their clothes lying everywhere.

She sighed and walked into the room, sitting down on Jack's bed. She pulled up one of his T-shirt's and hugged it. Maybe one day she could be the one to wash his clothes, do the ironing…

"Dream on Sam," she told herself. "It ain't gonna happen."

She looked around the room and leaned back against the wall on his bed. It was so nice to be on holidays, but why couldn't her holidays be less complicated?

Because you're Samantha Carter, she reminded herself.

Daniel rubbed his eyes and turned the corner into his bedroom. "Whoa!"

He stopped when he noticed Sam asleep in Jack's bed. He turned around to Jack and Teal'c who were walking up the hall towards him.

"Looks like someone's gonna have to steal Sam's bed tonight," Daniel said.

"Why would we do that DanielJackson?" Teal'c asked.

Jack looked into the room. "That would be why. For crying out loud, what's she doin' in there?"

"Sleeping," Daniel said.

"Ya think?" Jack replied.

He walked into the room and grabbed his nightclothes off his bed. He looked at Sam, smiling slightly.

She's so beautiful when she's asleep, he thought to himself. Just like when she's working hard on something in her lab.

He reached down and cupped her face in his hand. He kept gazing at her until a loud cough could be heard from the door. He jumped, having forgotten Teal'c and Daniel were there, and immediately walked out of the room.

"See ya in the morning," he said, making his way towards the caravan.

Ten minutes later he was ready to go to bed. He looked around the caravan. It was so nice and tidy. Very unlike the room that the guys were all sharing. He switched on the small TV and fiddled with the antennae for about five minutes.

"Ah, for crying out loud," he grunted, turning off the TV when he couldn't get any reception. "Never mind."

He crawled onto the bed and leaned over to switch the light off. But his eyes fell on the photo, now lying upright, on the beside table. He smiled, wishing it was his to keep. But he decided that Sam probably needed it more than he did. He'd had that life once before, it hadn't turned out that well, but he'd had it, he could remember it. Sam had never had that. She could only remember what she'd seen in movies, imagine things.

He leaned back in the bed and shut the light.

Goodnight, he thought to himself.

Sam opened her eyes to find Daniel and Teal'c standing near her bed, talking quietly.

"OH MY GOD!" Sam said, sitting up straight. "I fell asleep. Where's the Colonel?"

"He's sleeping in your caravan," Daniel said.

She jumped off the bed and ran out of the room. She ran all the way to the caravan and pulled open the door.

"Sorry, sir," she said.

She heard a groan and saw him sit up, turning on the light. "Carter, why don't you just go back to sleep? You woke me up."

"Sorry, sir," she replied. "I thought you'd rather sleep in your own bed."

"Oh, well I'd rather sleep in your bed anytime," he said sarcastically, winking.

She rolled her eyes. "Sir, do you mind if we just go back to our normal beds?"

"Sure thing Carter, whatever you want," he said, standing up and walking towards the door in his pyjamas.

She sat down on her bed as Jack opened the door. Suddenly a wave of dizziness washed over her and she suddenly had the urge to through up. Jack stopped.

"You OK Carter?" he asked.

"I don't feel so good all of a sudden, sir," she said.

He closed the door and walked back over to her. He sat down on the bed and put his arm around her. She wanted to pull away, but she couldn't, so she leaned against his shoulder. The time they had been Thera and Jonah, just two normal people, came back to her mind.

"I'll be OK," Sam said, suddenly realising that they were no longer Thera and Jonah, but Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill.

"I'll go," he said. "You sure you'll be OK?"

She nodded and crawled into her bed. Jack stood at the end of her bed for a minute and then walked around the edge, pulling the blanket up over her. She smiled a thank you and stood over her for a moment, watching. Then he switched off the light and walked towards the door.

"Sam," he said suddenly.

She sat up slightly. "Yes."

"I love you too," he said.

She smiled.

I love you too, the sentence repeated itself in her head.

She'd heard it many times before. From her old boyfriends. But it had never meant anything, not like it did now. Now he meant that he loved her, he wasn't just saying that because it was the right thing to say. And the other thing was, she loved him back. But they'd have to leave their relationship alone, at least for now.

It would happen someday, she knew it; just not then, not at that moment.

"I know," she whispered as he left the room. "You know and I know, and it'll happen on day."

One day, she repeated longingly. One day.

THE END

Sorry its so short, there MIGHT repeat MIGHT be a sequel in a few months, but you'll have ta wait!

Hope ya enjoyed!