Author: Christy Anderson
You can contact me at kittyunlimited@go.com.
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Paramount minus Ensign Christy Anderson and a few selected insignificant characters
Time's Chosen: Part 3
"So why don't we head down to the Holodeck and try out the new holo-novel I put together? It's about a television action hero in the early 1950s" Tom began to say.
"Don't you have forty some evasive moves to memorize before tomorrow?" Harry interrupted with a grin. Tom shook his head as if he knew what was coming.
I laughed. "The Captain will not be too happy if we meet the Borg and you get us assimilated because you cannot stay ahead of them."
Tom threw his hands up in dramatic despair. "We don't even know if they are out there! It has all been speculation, but ever since B'Elanna discovered that that blasted probe had stopped transmitting, everybody's been on edge. So now we go to briefings, and instead of ignoring me, the Captain decides to hand me new evasive maneuvers to memorize every time. I don't see why the Starfleet regulation maneuvers aren't good enough."
Harry patted his friend on the back. "Nice try, but it doesn't even cut close for an excuse," he teased. "Besides, you know as well as I do, that if a ship is assimilated in the Alpha Quadrant, Starfleet changes all encryption codes, all shield frequencies, all attack patterns, and all evasive maneuvers. And since we have no way of knowing that, it is better to just assume."
"You should get started," I advised as I took another bite of the Talaxian concoction in front of me. It sort of tasted like chewy jello, much different from yesterday's flavor of spoiled yams.
Tom made a face. "So what do you two have to do to prepare for the Borg anyway?"
Harry rolled his eyes. "Who do you think has to help Tuvok install extra security around Engineering, Sickbay, Cargo Bays 1 and 2, and the Bridge?" he asked rhetorically.
"And who do you think had to come up with all of those new evasive maneuvers and attack patterns?" I asked with an evil grin.
Tom dropped his fork. "You are the one responsible for torturing me?" he exclaimed astonishingly.
"Well it wasn't Santa Claus" I answered, "but you better get started. As the inventor, I can tell you one thing- those maneuvers are very difficult. Not one rotation matches regulation maneuvers, and compared to what you need to memorize for the Academy exam, this has to be the larger of the two evils."
Tom shook his head and took another bite of his spaghetti. "Great," he mumbled, settling down into melancholic silence.
"That just leaves us," Harry said unexpectedly.
"Hmm?" I asked, pulling out of my daze.
"You are off duty next, right Christy?"
A slight uncomfortable look spread over my face. "Of course," I began, "but"
"But what?" Harry rhetorically asked, skirting my objection. "I have a new holo-training program, along with a few unspent hours, and I would like for you to join me."
Tom almost spit out the coffee he was drinking. "For what, Harry? An exercise session?" he demanded. "After all these years, why the sudden urge to get in shape?"
Harry shot Tom a look of death. "It's not to get in shape. Remember that mission on Cellon?" Harry asked hotly.
An air of somberness descended on both of us- as if we could forget every casualty that came our way. "Ensign Lindsay Ballard's death" I whispered. "But that was a month ago, Harry, you cannot blame yourself for that."
Harry's face saddened as he drew in a deep breath, trying to resolve the matter. "Look, I created the program to teach us how to defend ourselves when our phasers don't work. We can learn archery"
"You wouldn't be able to make a bow and arrow fast enough," I pointed out realistically.
"Fencing!" exclaimed Tom excitedly.
"No swords," I reminded him playfully. "What about staffs?"
Tom nodded. "They are easily constructed," he pointed out.
Harry became more animated as the heated discussion flew on. "Staffs it is!" he shouted loud enough for everyone to hear. "Let's go!" he continued as he gallivanted towards the exit. Suddenly he spun around and pointed at Tom. "But not you. You have maneuvers to memorize."
I began to feel uncomfortable. "I don't think I should go either, Harry; I really do"
"Come on, Christy," Tom interrupted as he grabbed my arm. A shadow crossed over his eyes. "At least you will get to have fun."
I shook my head and put on a wry smile. "The Captain gave me an assignment I should really finish today," I lied.
Tom stared into my eyes and dropped his voice in consideration, "What assignment, Christy? You are a horrible liar." He paused for a moment as Harry came over. "Come on, Tre'kent left a week ago. As hard as it may seem, you have to get over it," he continued, "and the best way is to get out."
My face hardened as I pulled my arm back. Tears that I had pushed back threatened to spill, and raw emotions contorted my face. How could he say that? "I have to go," I squeaked, and ran out of the Mess Hall.
"You had to bring it up," I could hear Harry hiss as I ran out of the Mess Hall. I ran and I ran to the Turbo-lift and to the closed Astrometrics Lab on Deck 6, feeling as if they all were on my trail, chasing me. I needed air, and my mind needed to be occupied.
The dark Astrometrics Lab loomed before me down the hall. The Captain had shut it down five weeks ago declaring it a drain on power. Recently, it had become my goal to redesign it so that the lab would become more power efficient. Although I had begun on different thoughts of designs weeks ago, the real work of remodeling had started after Tre'kent had left, which entailed the inevitable breach in protocol- breaking and entering- and unauthorized repairs.
I opened the panel to the right of the doors with an adaptable phasor that I had attached to my belt. Hidden inside was a manual 'can opener' that was usually used to open jammed doors in the Jeffries tubes. I had taken a spare from Cargo Bay 2 yesterday and hid it inside the panel. Setting the opener aside, I carefully rewired the circuits for the sensors so that even Tuvok would not be able to detect the activity. I twisted the doors to Astrometrics open and set some of the other stuff that I had hidden behind the panel down inside.
"Computer," I commanded after I had reattached the panel outside, "mask Lieutenant Anderson's Comm badge signal. Log her new coordinates as 'Personal Quarters.' The computer beeped. I took in a deep breath. "Initiate Transport Anderson 4."
With a blue twinkling flash, four crude batteries appeared at the side of the room along with a mound made up of data PADDs. I quickly set into my work, overriding more circuits and bypassing relays so that any work that I would do could not be detected. I carefully hauled a homemade battery over to the side and delicately disconnected a gel pack, careful not to damage the precious resource. With my Engineering training, B'Elanna could not have stressed enough how important it was that these things lasted. Gradually I reconnected the pathways to the positive and negative ends of my homemade battery. Eight wires to go, and the battery, I hoped, would power the room for eight hours while I worked to reconfigure the sensors.
Sparks flew to the other side of the room as the fifth wire split. In pain I flew up from my work, disconnecting all the newly connected wires. "Curses!" I yelled as I looked at my slightly burned hand. I shook my head and leaned against the wall. I could replicate a dermal regenerator when I went back to my quarters. I looked at the battery and was disappointed when I realized that the all the wiring had to be redone.
Just then another set of white sparks flew from the center of the room, and the air became distinctly heavy. Jumping to my feet, I stared a familiar stranger in the face. The man was dressed in a white robe and, even though he had looked right at me, he turned back to the power dome in the center of the lab. Raising his hands above it, he slowly brought the dome sputtering to life.
With my heart pounding in my throat, I whipped out my triicorder. "Who are you?" I yelled when I realized that his lifesign could not be detected.
The stranger just ignored me. Like a natural response, I took a few steps back and hit my Comm badge. "Lieutenant Anderson to the Bridge. Intruder in Astrometrics; I repeat, intruder in the Astrometrics Lab."
"Lieutenant, what are you doing in there?" the Captain responded angrily.
Suddenly, with the dome at full power, the man spun around, his face hidden. Spookily, he raised his one arm towards me and shot out an energy bolt. In a flash, I dodged with only seconds to spare. The display panel behind me shattered as he threw two more bolts. Instantly I fell to my knees with weakness as the last one struck me.
Crumpled on the floor I saw the figure come near and then disappear. "Watch and learn," a voice whispered as I began to black out.
"Christy!" a voice shouted from far away as people began to struggle with the locked doors. "Christy!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Christy!" someone yelled, shaking my shoulders. "Wake up or you will be late!"
Sleepily I opened my eyes to find my head on a soft pillow. "Ohh" I groaned as I stretched. That energy bolt must have really worn me out I thought to myself. "Energy bolt! Voyager!" I exclaimed, bolting upright, suddenly realizing that my surroundings were no longer familiar.
"It's okay," a comforting voice answered, "you were only dreaming. Third nightmare you've had this week."
I realized that the voice belonged to Tre'kent. His face came into view as he kissed me on the cheek. "I'll make you breakfast," he offered cheerily. "After all, today's the day you may get your captaining assignment."
Where am I? I asked myself, looking at an unfamiliar room. Outwardly I chuckled. "Why am I asking myself such stupid questions?" I mumbled out loud. I lumbered off the bed while I struggled for answers. Stop! I yelled in vain at myself. It was as if I was not in control of my own body or my own thoughts. Watch and learn the words came back to me. Was this some sort of vision, dream?
"What day is it?" I finally found myself able to ask when I came into the Kitchen.
Tre'kent looked at me funny. "Stardate 78891.230" he answered.
I shrugged in frustration, too distraught to calculate the conversion myself. "No, what day is it?"
"May 27," he chimed, "The Captain's birthday are you going to go see her?"
"Janeway is an admiral now," I mechanically corrected harshly. "And no," I continued, "I hadn't thought about going to the hospital. It's too weird to even think about confronting her."
"After all she did?" he persisted.
"Yes!" I yelled. What am I saying?? I yelled then at myself. Was this some out-of-body experience?
Suddenly a baby started to cry. Tre'kent shot me a look. "You should really be more quiet now" But instead of finishing, he broke off and just shook his head in frustration. "Never mind, Christy, I'll get her."
Her? I asked myself, following him on his heels. Tre'kent stopped in a different room in front of a crib, picking up a small child. Tenderly he sang to her in hopes to stop her wails. Your daughter a voice revealed. Instinctually I moved forward to the infant and kissed her head. "Mother is sorry, Kaethe," I heard myself whisper. I picked up her tiny hand in mine. "What year is it?" I finally could ask as I rested my head against Tre'kent's, staring at the child, suddenly in control.
"The year is 2383," he answered with confusion, "Why?"
10 years later? How can I be 10 years in the future? I shook my head as I lifted my daughter's little hand. There was something gnawing at the back of my mind- I needed to look her hand in the light, one more time. How would she live her fated life without me? Why was she chosen to follow in my footsteps? Would she stray as much as I had? -- What were these questions? Where was the present? "It can't be," I continued, not sure if it was my frustrations or something else that caused me to say this.
Tre'kent raised his eyebrows and stared at me peculiarly. "Can't be what?"
What is this? I thought again as the doorbell rang. The sound snapped me back to reality. Something inside of me hardened, a determined will to go through with what I had planned and end the madness. "I'll get that, Tre'kent," I volunteered softly, kissing him goodbye on the cheek. "After all, I should be on my way."
Tre'kent instantly looked concerned. "What about breakfast?" he asked.
"I'll come home for lunch," I promised or rather lied as I ran to the door. Without thinking, I found myself pressing the button to exit. The door swung open to reveal my Father.
Father? I cried with unbelief. But instead, I felt every bone in my body stiffen. "How dare you come back here!" I found myself yelling as I blatantly pulled the door shut. "I could take you to court for breaking the restraining order!"
"BittePlease," my Father cried.
My eyes flashed angrily. "Speak English!" I yelled. "If you have forgotten, I gave up German a long time ago, specifically the moment I found out that you had betrayed me."
"Ich möchte nur mein Enkelkind sehen I only want to see my granddaughter."
I shook my head. "You're dangerous!" I yelled. "You altered my DNA when I was a little girl- what do you want to do with my daughter? I made it clear in court- the moment you made the decision to let that doctor experiment on me years ago, was the moment you relinquished any rights as my Father. You lied to me for how many years?! Go away- you have no privilege to be here!"
"Meine Tochter, hören bitte auf mich! Christy, daughter, please, listen to me! I am sorry for what happened in a million years I could not make my mistake up to you in any way. But what do I have to do to convince you that I have changed?" my Father shouted as he grabbed my arm.
"Nothing! Your right- there is nothing you can do! I could not even begin to forgive you in a million years!" I shouted.
My Father grasped my arm even tighter. "I let all of that go Christy from the time that you were 12- I called it off, I called it all off! Es ist nicht zu Ihrer Mutter und zu selbst angemessen It is not fair to have your Mother and I suffer"
I felt all sympathy slipping away as I saw the tears in his eyes. I snatched my arm away, sensing the eyes of Tre'kent through the window. "Leave now," I interrupted, "before we do something that we'll both regret." I caught the oncoming tears in my throat and I pulled away. "I have to go now," I said, heading out to the Transport station, leaving my Father behind.
Starfleet headquarters was only six minutes away, at the most. Strangely, I remembered walking to my office everyday for the past six years. Six years- hardly! This had to be some sort of vision! I could not explain the experience to myself, but it felt like watching someone live my life, and only able to break in now and then. I watched myself walk the way to work, and then turn around. I saw the tears falling down my face, and I felt the loss of control and the knife-like emotions that I had bottled up, now being poured out lavishly. Instead of heading directly to the office, I found myself ten minutes later at the hospital, trying to sort out the awkwardness of the argument, and knowing that I would be late for my meeting.
Why could I not gain control? What was going on? I remembered being in Astrometrics and the energy bolt, or had the stranger touched me? Right before I blacked out, I remembered the figure in front of me- he had touched me. I shook my head as I walked up to the Turbo-lift. "Deck 5," I commanded as it began to whirl. "What am I going to say to her?" I asked myself out loud. "Happy Birthday, that's it, just Happy Birthday."
I walked to Room 515, and rang the buzzer on the side of the door. "Enter," came Harry's voice from inside of the room. As the doors hissed open, I walked through them. What I saw hit me like an oncoming vehicle, and I was almost in control enough to gasp. They all looked so different, so old, as if they had already lived through a lifetime of trials and loss. The happiness I had once seen daily in their eyes was gone. Everyone in the room now wore a bleak expression of sorrow.
"Good morning!" I greeted the room uncomfortably. The Captain, who was sitting up in bed smiled.
"To what do we owe this great honor, Lieutenant?" she asked sarcastically.
I looked at the rapidly aging woman. Despite what had happened, she would always be Captain to me. She had earned that place of respect in my young heart, forever, no matter what would happen. "Happy Birthday!" I yelled, ignoring her previous comment. Why didn't I give her a hug? What was wrong with me?
I glanced around the room- Harry, the Doctor, Chakotay, and a bunch of bright neon balloons surrounded Janeway. "Its nice to see you, Christy," Harry began. "We do not see much of you these days"
"It is nice to see you too, Ensign Kim," I managed to return formally.
A strange look came over his face as if he was trying to assess the situation further than what seemed to be. "Captain," he corrected. "Remember? Captain Kim"
At that moment, I was able to gape, but the moment of control soon fled. I turned back to Janeway in confusion. "Did Tuvok come by to see you, Admiral?" I questioned.
Janeway looked even more perplexed than Harry. "Tuvok is on Deep Space Nine fighting off the Dominion. I suppose you didn't hear." Her words were measured, full of anger and hatred. "Opps, I almost forgot," she continued, "it was you who assigned him there."
Chakotay glanced up at me, ignoring the previous moment. "Why don't you sit for a while, and visit with us? You don't seem to be yourself today."
I managed to give a wry smile just like the one I gave to Tom and Harry a few minutes ago, I compared in my mind. It seemed as if I was about to repeat that lie all over again. I felt the familiar words on the tip of my tongue, but instead said something completely different. "I am sorry, but I cannot stay; I have a meeting with General Bullock, and I wanted to stop by at least. I really need to be on my way now, though."
The silence deepened threateningly. The mood in the air switched, and the hostility was open enough for all to be sensed. "What bothers you most, Christy?" The Captain asked icily before I made it out the door.
I turned around to face her. "Excuse me, ma'am?"
Her eyes widened with cynicism as she dramatized an expression of complete and venomous surprise. "I had no idea we were so formal, you and I So, Lieutenant Christy Anderson, what bothers you the most?" I stared blankly at her, holding my breath. "Is it my injury that bothers you so, or the little quarrel we had three years ago?"
I felt myself go cold. "This is not the time to discuss this matter," I challenged her seriously.
"My Birthday!" she exclaimed, "Why it is a perfectly marvelous time! After all, I am a paraplegic because of your error."
"It was a long time ago!" I yelled, feeling something give way inside myself.
"Had you been paying attention to your console, it would not have been," she pointed out underhandedly, trying to sow more seeds of guilt and shame.
"It was an accident!" I hollered, my temper seething, " I'm sorry that you have become a broken old woman who has nothing better to do but feel sorry for herself. If you think that I will feel guiltily forever indebted to you for your protective legal services in court to prosecute the doctors that performed experiments on me or for the injury that you sustained while under my watch at the science station, you are seriously mistaken!"
The Captain looked pleasantly surprised. "You must be careful not to lose that temper in public, or you may end up on the insanity floor above me, young fledgling. I must admit I enjoy to see you struggle so, flying on your own now."
I scowled as I turned to leave. "Happy Birthday, and goodbye, Admiral Janeway may all your birthday wishes come true." The words, forced as they were, had been packed with hate and distaste.
I raced out of the room, but it was too late. Even as I ran down the hall to the Turbo-lifts, five seconds later, a strong grasp clenched my arm. "How dare you come here to upset her!" Chakotay's voice rebuked.
"Did you see her in there? She asked for it," I hissed.
"It's her birthday!" he returned, there was more than innocent concern and indignation in his eyes "And after all that she did for you"
"It's not my fault that she has to be so bitter to everyone but herself!" I interrupted.
"You could have put on a happy face and smiled and cared for someone other than yourself for once in your life," he suggested angrily, clearly upset that I had spoken to her so. "You know what she has suffered, and yet you insist on making her life miserable! You are not the only one who has been cheated in life of all they ever loved or hoped for"
"How dare you make that accusation, Commander!" I yelled with hurt in my eyes. I did not want to say these mean things. What was so wrong? What had happened to turn us all against each other?
His eyes zeroed in on me, as if he had for the first time sensed that something was terribly awry. "I retired a long time ago from Starfleet in case you forgot" he whispered harshly. "You seem to have forgotten a great deal today."
Harry came out into the hall just in time to see what all the arguing was about. But the moment of possible epiphany was lost. "She cares about you the most, now," Chakotay continued, not at all phased by Harry's appearance in the corridor. "You were her hope. It was in you that she buried all of her training and wisdom. She waits and waits for you to visit and when you do, you crush her spirits! It was bad enough she lost Seven to the pursuits of Starfleet scientists."
"Who's Seven?" I yelled back at him in total confusion.
An angry look passed over his face. "Don't even try it," he challenged.
"You're right! I don't know why I even try!" I admitted, "Especially since every time that I do come out here, she brings the old arguments up again."
"On Voyager she gave you her best- attention and freedom to pursue your goals. When we arrived back at Earth, she helped you prosecute the doctors that altered your DNA. Is this how you repay her?!"
The Doctor burst out of the room, his eyes livid with resentment. "Honestly!" he yelled. "Take this argument somewhere else. You both are making things worse."
"That's not necessary, Doctor," I murmured. "I have to go."
When I arrived at my office, it was thirty minutes passed the time that I should have been at the briefing. Like I expected, an active file blinked on the main display. I hit the button to play it. Admiral Bullock's face came over the screen. "Lieutenant Anderson- you missed our meeting this morning at 07:00 hours. Your absence was duly noted. I have called to inform you that the board has decided to pass over your request to captain the third subsequent mission to the Delta Quadrant. However, we are quite pleased with your work as the Director of"
In disgust, I shut off the display. What was that all about? I asked myself as pulled out a phaser. I looked at it in disgust too. That position was the last straw, the last tie to keep me from my decision. You have pushed away everyone. Your heart has forgotten how to love, the voice now boomed. How true how true! I thought. It was as if I was at the end of a very long chain of dominoes, watching the effect of my mistakes, now tumbling everything around me at an alarming rate.
Tre'kent would be all right without me- our marriage had gone so wrong. It was even more wrong to chain him to a life of bitterness. I pushed him so far away everyday that his affections meant little to me- I wasn't worthy to be loved. Now the Captain and the crew- I saw how they all had been affected by me, even the youngest. I thought about the meeting that I had had with Naomi the past day. I remembered her mother's death too from years ago; we had gotten to the caves too late. Voyager had been too late to save her, and all because of me. I had been too distracted with other things to find Samantha in time. Naomi lived with Neelix now; I had heard that her own father had gone insane during the years that Voyager was gone. She had become an orphan with a troubled past. Even the Captain and Chakotay were far better off without me to argue with. Every time that I made an effort, I only added to their pain. I had been Janeway's hope, even Chakotay had realized it, and I had disappointed her when I had decided to draw away from everyone that I had known on Voyager. She did not care that I had decided to send Tuvok off to fight the Dominion. I had hurt everyone that I had cherished in life. But despite Janeway's feelings, Tom and B'Elanna had refused to see me the moment after I had initialed the reassignment of Tuvok. Why had I done it? What was I talking about? Why had my life gone so wrong? And my Father pain came over my eyes as I realized how much I had loved him at one time.
Had loved? I asked myself with rising panic. I looked at the phaser. Your choices, your death, a voice boomed. This will be repeated if you do not learn. I understood the circle now- if I ended my life, the circle would be incomplete-- the magic of time would find a new end, and a new beginning. What was I talking about!? I yelled in futility at myself as I slowly raised the phaser. I gulped- so this was good-bye.
Christy! Tre'kent's voice shouted.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Christy?" the Captain asked me as I came to. "Are you all right?"
To be continued
