Author: Christy Anderson

You can contact me at kittyunlimited@go.com.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Paramount minus Ensign Christy Anderson and a few selected insignificant characters.

* Added Disclaimer: The story of Peter Pan was written by James M. Barrie (1860 - 1937).

Author's Note: Okay, take it back, this was my favorite part to write! I have never written much about Christy's family, except for her father and Kenneth, but... they exist. I think this mirrors the fact that each Voyager crew member discovered when going home- it won't be quite as they remember it.

I can't help but breathe a sigh of relief as I finish typing this up This is the end, for now. There is only one more part to the 'Night' series, and then I'll move on to write something else. I'll try to put on enough speed to finish this up before the end of May, hopefully. I really hope everyone has enjoyed reading this as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Always remember, that life is precious and it is too short to waste- God Bless. Bis folgende Zeit Until next time, Christy

Time's Chosen (Gewählt bis Zeit): Part 7

The cool air from the life support systems circulated down to blow against my face. I fingered the end of the polished staff in my hands; Tom had replicated a beauty. Learning to use one wasn't as hard as I thought, either. B'Elanna had no doubt been the best out of all of us, and I rubbed my shoulder on the spot where she had come down upon me. Thank goodness the holodeck safeties were on- I wouldn't have any more than a light bruise instead of a broken collarbone.

"I thought you were leaving," Tom said as he reentered the Holodeck. He, Harry, and B'Elanna had left a few minutes ago for dinner and other engagements.

"Must have zoned out," I admitted softly.

Tom pulled up a stool from the corner of the Medieval Salle. "Lot on your mind?" he asked casually.

"Too much to chew," I again admitted.

Tom waited to see if I was going to say anymore. "Want to talk about it?"

I looked up at him in earnest. "If you could make one wish, what would wish for?" I asked quietly, truly wanting his advice.

Tom shrugged and put friendly his arm over my shoulder. "That's a tough one" he mumbled, "but as old as dirt. I suppose it would depend on the situation." I raised my eyebrows thoughtfully, trying to follow where he was going. Tom made a wry expression as he thought. "Is the future certain?" he inquired.

"Huh?"

The look of puzzlement on my face caused him to beam one of his Paris Charm' smiles. "I mean, at the time that I am making this wish, is my future certain Am I in any peril of death? Do I have a deadly disease? Do I still have what is important to me in my life? Am I starving and destitute? Am I making a living? Have I lost the will to live?"

I thought for a moment. "The future is somewhat certain, but you've lost the one you love."

Tom nodded thoughtfully. "Am I heartbroken?"

"Of course," I answered honestly.

He continued to ruminate over the information. "Am I happy?"

"That they're gone?" I asked in shock. "You're heartbroken!"

Patiently Tom shook his head. "No, am I happy with life?"

I held my breath. Was I happy with life? It seemed to be a pivotal question. Was I happy not recently. I had all but fallen to pieces in recent times. Not just because of Tre'kent, either- I had really lost it with my genetics. "Not at the moment," I resolved finally. "You were betrayed by someone whom you loved and whom you thought you knew."

In sympathy, Tom clicked his tongue. "Tsk, tsk, tsk then I really am not happy," he remarked, his voice comforting and soothing. "Is there something that would make me happy?"

I shrugged. "Possibly"

Tom nodded. "More than likely, I would wish for that very thing." He gave me a hug and stood up. "You have a great deal of thinking to do, Christy." It was my turn to nod. I had no desire to use my voice, because I feared that it would crack and betray me. "Is it okay if I leave?" he asked with concern.

I nodded again. "Thanks," I squeaked.

"Anytime you know where to find me if you want to talk some more," came the words as he left the Holodeck for the second time.

For a while I sat there. What would make me happy? What would take away all the hurt? As I gulped, I decided to take a logical approach. Where was the hurt coming from? This was a question that should be answered first. But there was no doubt in my mind that the hurt streamed from the open wound my father had delivered. He had betrayed me, and what I couldn't understand was why. If only I could ask him. Why? "Why?" I whispered.

"Perhaps you should ask that to the person who has the answer," a voice speculated. I looked up to see Ensign Wildman- I hadn't even heard her come in. With joy, I flew from my seat and hugged her; it had been so long since either of us had seen each other.

Samantha gently steered me back to my seat. "I'm glad to see you too, but I can't stay long."

I tried to clear my head and find something to say; there were so many things that wanted to get out first. "I'm sorry, I meant to come talk with you more often, but I wasn't feeling like myself, and when Tre'kent went, I just went nuts, and I wanted to be left alone, and I was being truly horrible, but I didn't realize"

Samantha put her hand up to stop my rambling. "I don't want an apology, Christy. I just want to know if you're all right."

I went and gave her a hug again, tears spilling from my eyes. What had I done to deserve a friend like her? She always seemed to understand and be here for me all at the same time. "Thank you," I whispered, letting her go reluctantly. "I'll be fine now."

Samantha nodded with some relief. "Naomi and I were worried."

At the mention of Naomi's name, I smiled. "Is she all right?" I asked shakily.

"Getting bigger everyday," she noted lightly. "Whatever is the matter?" she exclaimed with some alarm as a shadow passed over my face.

"If you had a burning question that only one person could answer, would you ask them?"

In all fairness, Samantha gave the question some thought. "Yes," she confirmed finally. "If it mattered that much, I would- no matter what obstacles I had to cross."

"And what if," I added silently, "what if you weren't sure that you were ready to hear that answer- would you still ask if you had a golden opportunity."

Standing up slowly, Samantha shook her head. "That is something each must ask himself. If you are not ready, then nothing I say, or nothing anyone else says, can change that. But if you are, you have the opportunity to put some of your troubles at rest."

"How do you know if you are ready?" I persisted.

My friend shrugged. "Ich weiß nicht I know not. Dieses ist eine Frage, die jedes für entdecken muß This is a question that each must discover for himself." She began to walk towards the door, just as Tom had done. "You need to ask yourself, and listen to your heart. No one can answer the questions you have, but the one who holds the answer. Think about that."

The doors hissed shut behind her. No one but my Father had the answers, I grudgingly admitted. Was I ready to hear them?— I had no idea. Samantha had seemed to think that it was a matter of listening to my heart. With a sense of desperateness, I closed my eyes, and listened like I had with Peter. I crept slowly through my mind, down my neck, and into my heart. I slinked through the darkness and found the light. Well, Christy, I thought, am I ready?

Out of the blue, a thought flew into my mind. Where had the idea of returning to earth briefly come from? Myself I had thought the idea up I was ready to return home and confront my family

The gravel crunched beneath my feet as the white light faded. "I'll be back for you later," came Peter's voice from out of nowhere. In the time it took for my eyes to adjust, I confirmed that I was right where I wanted to be, on the path to the Lab.

A faint sense of alarm rose in my throat when I saw that the bench I had often rested on in this grove was missing, its cement foundation strangely bare. Even the path I stood on was overgrowing a tad with weeds. I shook it off; my Father probably hadn't the strength anymore to properly maintain it, that's all.

All sense of calm was lost, however, when I saw the Lab. Dust and dirt covered the windows with a thick coat of grime, and the place looked as if it had been deserted for an eternity. Distressed, I raced to the door to find it locked. Naturally I picked up the doormat and reached for the key— only it wasn't there.

Ungerade odd, that particular key never left its place under the doormat. I backed up, standing on my tiptoes to reach the spare in the gutter. All I felt was dirt and rotting leaves. I went for the spare under the flowerpot, now only full of a variety of weeds, but nothing was there as well. There was only one more spare key that I knew of; it was the key I had buried many years ago in case of an extreme emergency. No one, except myself, knew where that key was. My heart pounding in my throat, I backtracked to the flowerbeds, in front of the lab. It had been under the forth tulip in the last row, but there were no flowers anymore. They were long dead. I dug with a sense of urgency in the spot I thought might be it. With mud spewing to all sides, I continued to dig until my hands touched the cold metal.

I let out my breath. Surely there was an explanation for all of this. When I got into the lab, I was sure that I would find things as they once were. Perhaps in the time I had been gone, we might have been robbed, and, for security, everyone had his or her own key now.

I shoved the key in the lock, and it turned with a high pitched grinding sound. Every millimeter of the way the lock complained, as if it hadn't been used in a long time. The sight inside only served to reinforce that impression. Dust covered every surface; the lab tables were free of every item, except in the corner that had been mine. The furniture to the side was covered with white sheets, although there were pieces missing. My Father's chair was no longer there, but my couch and the table I had often used were. And the old telescope- it still stood in front of the filthy window as if it had been left to rust.

I moved to the lab tables; all the computers and machines were gone. I flung open every cabinet, every drawer. They were all empty and covered with inches of dust and cobwebs. Kenneth's station and my father's were no more. There wasn't a sign that they had even existed left. At the end of the lab table at my station, however, the story changed. Papers were spewed everywhere, and the computer was there. I reached out a shaky hand and picked up the papers, fearing the worst. The Photosynthesis of Stars the title read, by Christy Anderson- it was the project I had been working on before I left. I flipped the microscope light on and peered down to see an old slide of chlorophyll, just like I had left it. The computer, startlingly, was still on, and I placed my hand on the scanner to activate the screen. The machine read my handprint and sputtered the display to life- my experiment data and logs flashed on the screens. This was just like the day I left.

Unnerved, I rushed to the closet, unsure of what I would find anymore. The scene was not much less bizarre. Boxes crowded the floor, all labeled: CHRISTY. I grabbed one out and opened it, documents spilling out, my scientific publishings. Another box held data PADDs, probably ones I had left scattered around at home and at the lab. Some boxes held clothing, and others held various memorabilia of mine: jewelry, books, knickknacks, plaques, awards, my lab equipment, and pictures. These were my things, or things that related to me, all jammed in a closet? It didn't make sense; you would think I had died.

To the side, a golden frame caught my eye. I almost cried when I saw the picture it contained. Kenneth, my Father, and I sat side-by-side smiling carefree. I kept the picture in my hands and shut the door, wishing dearly that I could shut those mental pictures inside with the boxes. There were no answers here in the lab, only questions. I had to go home to see what the matter was. Determinedly, I picked up the telescope as well, uncertain of how my family had rationalized the decision to leave such a precious heirloom behind.

As I exited out the side door, I saw the first sign of life- my cat's food bowl was filled with food and water. I set my armful aside and squatted low to the ground. Hoping against all hope, I began to whistle softly. Within five minutes, a black cat padded into view. He approached me carefully, sniffing around, unsure if I was to be trusted. "Nacht Night," I called kindly. The cat, now in recognition, bounded up towards me, purring softly against my legs. I picked the black fur bundle up and held him to my chest. "You're alive," I whispered thankfully. "Oh, Nacht," I exclaimed quietly, "who is feeding you?"

It seemed as if my family had all but boarded up the doors to the lab. Despite my desire otherwise, no one had been here in years. A sudden explanation sprung into my head. Perhaps Fr. Flannigan had come to hear of this and was feeding Nacht now. With Fr. Flannigan in mind, I thought about the chapel, realizing how much I wanted to see it, if just for a moment.

My feet led me down the five miles of familiar path though the small forest. I had walked this way so many a time with Kenneth, but today was much different. The little chapel came into view, and I released a breath of relief as I realized that it looked just the same. Even the bench was still in the courtyard. A smile crept over my face, and tears were on the brink, when I realized that this was Earth, not the holodeck. The chapel was really here in front of me. Not wanting to waste anymore time, I reached out a shaking hand to open the door. The air inside was cool, and smelt still of faint incense. The sun streamed in on the east side windows, and I sank down in a pew to the right of the aisle after I genuflected. It was still here, just like old times.

With sadness, I bowed my head and prayed, remaining silent for many long minutes. The lab every time I thought of the lab, my hands started shaking it was so hauntingly different. Where had everyone gone? Did we still live in the white house twenty miles away? How would I find them in just one day if they had moved?

The sound of shuffling feat behind me startled me from my train of thought, and involuntarily, I started to my feet. I turned around to see who the visitor was; perhaps it would be someone who knew what had become of my family. But I was not prepared to see who stood at the end of the aisle- Kenneth.

The vision of friendliness flinched at the sight of me and stood as still as stone, eyes wide as saucers. Suddenly a smile came over his face and he bounded up towards me. Taking me in his arms affectionately, he swung me around, and very firmly pulled me close, kissing me passionately on the lips.

Shocked, I freed my right hand and slapped him across the face. "How dare you!" I yelled.

Kenneth backed up, as stunned as I was. "Chris," he addressed, "you're not a vision? Is it really you? Oh my gosh!!!" He rushed forward and swung me around again, hugging me in a vice like grip. He planted light kisses on both my cheeks, tears of happiness streaming down his face. "I'm sorry- I thought thought that you were a vision I've wanted to do that since forever It's really you, and you're not going to disappear" But suddenly his countenance changed. He grabbed my arms angrily and started shaking me voraciously. "How could you??! How could you do that to your family? Whatever possessed you to run away for three years? That was an incredibly selfish decision! How could you not even send word that you were okay? Do you have any idea how much pain you've caused?"

Scared, I pulled away from Kenneth. "I didn't run away!" I shouted furiously. "I have been stuck on Voyager— I couldn't come back until now."

His expression changed rapidly from one of pain to one of disbelief. "That's sacrilegious, Chris! How could you insinuate such a thing? The U.S.S. Voyager has been declared lost now for a year. You know that Tom Paris was on that ship. If only Admiral Paris could hear you, he would Out of all the petty excuses to come up with! I cannot believe that you would be that heartless!"

My temper was seething. "I am not making up excuses! Kenneth, Voyager isn't lost! We're in the Delta Quadrant! I got put there accidentally! There wasn't enough time to get back!"

Kenneth only shook his head. "And to think that your Father thought you were kidnapped You merely ran away! Have you no shame?"

"Bin ich überhaupt zu Ihnen gelegen? Have I ever lied to you?"

Kenneth stopped ranting and stared at me. "Three years ago I would have said no, but now I just don't know, Chris, I don't."

I bit my lip to keep from crying. "Sie müssen mir glauben... Ich kam nach Hause für einen Tag, aber ich muß zurück gehen You have to believe me I came home, but I have to go back."

"Back?" he asked.

"It's only a temporary trip The technology I used to get here can't keep me here permanently. I have to be taken back to the Delta Quadrant."

Kenneth sighed, knowing in his heart that I was telling the truth. "You're here and I shouldn't care," he said hugging me enthusiastically, "I wouldn't care if you spent the last three years in a Klingon monastery you're back at least!"

I smiled and hugged him back, happy just to see my friend again. "What happened to the lab?" I whispered quietly in his ears.

A change came over Kenneth's face, and the spark of happiness went out. "Your Father closed it a month after you disappeared he dumped all of your stuff in the closet. I've been going back three times a week to feed Nacht."

I laughed. "Thanks, Kenneth, I'm sure he appreciates it Ist meine Vater vertiefung? Is my Father well?"

My friend's face fell again. A look of pain flashed across his eyes. "Oh, Chris," he muttered, "your Father he's well, but your Mother I'm afraid"

His voice cut off. Pain began to seize my heart. Realization hit me like a brick- since I was twelve she had always been sickly, but she had always been all right, my mother was always going to be all right, she was going to get well one day. "She's she Is she all right, I mean, of course she's all right, right?"

Kenneth shook his head. "I'm sorry I have to be the one to tell you this."

At that moment, I could have gagged. "When did it happen?" I asked, pain flooding my vision. She had always been all right, why, why?

"She died last year in February."

Anguished sobs came up from my throat. I grabbed onto Kenneth for support and cried into his Starfleet jacket. This wasn't the time to cry, though. Getting a hold of myself, I pulled back and wiped my watering eyes with the end of my sleeve, finally taking a good look at my friend. He was wearing a more modern Starfleet cadet uniform he was probably half-way through his years at the Academy. "I want to go home now," I whispered softly. Kenneth only nodded, picked up the telescope besides me, and helped me out.

Three hours later, I stood in my own kitchen, my Father across the table. He hadn't even asked where I had been for the past three years. And he took the statement at face value when I said that I had to go back. Neither one of us had yet approached the subject that was still aching in our souls. "Lieutenant?" he laughed. "I always knew my daughter would get into Starfleet. Look at you, now, I'm so proud."

Kenneth raised his eyebrows from where he sat next to my Father. "It's not fair," he pouted, "You've always accomplished everything ahead of me. I still have two more years to go before I graduate."

I smiled wickedly. "Guess it proves who's smarter"

From five feet away, Kenneth swung at me. "No need to be snobbish."

In pity, I put a contrite look on my face. "Ich entschuldige I apologize," I swooned effortlessly.

The table burst into laughter. "Es ist wohl, daß ich Sie Haus wieder habe. Es hat viel Gelächter hier nicht seit Ihnen nach links gegeben It is well that I have you home again. There has not been much laughter here since you left."

We went on, recounting old times, catching up on news. I told my Father about Voyager, and he asked no questions, despite how ridiculous it sounded. I cooked lunch and finally supper, and all the while realizing how empty the house felt without my Mother. Father said it had been a peaceful going, no pain at all. He even told me that in her last moments she had sworn that someone had told her I was to come home again from far away. We cried together about that, letting go of the pain- my Father had held it in for so long, afraid to grieve while I was away. Kenneth, in the mean time, had taken good care of my Father. His sister had graduated from highschool, and she had gone on to college, living now with an aunt of hers. My brothers were called from their work on Jupiter Station, and they arrived home in time for supper. We all laughed, and we cried, and I realized that going home was probably the best choice I could have made. It felt so good to see them all again. Three years was by far the longest time I had been away from my family, but there was bound to be a longer time before I could return again.

Finally around eight o clock, I asked the three of them, William, Karl, and Kenneth, to leave the room for a moment. The air, which had been so full of laughter, fell ominously silent, as they each excused themselves to go to the living room. My Father's gaze fell to the floor, unfocused, staring out into space, not really seeing at all. "Dich wissen You know," he said quietly. "Ich kann den viel erklären I can tell that much."

Something within my heart snapped. He hadn't denied it. "Er hängt nach ab, mit was Dich befassen. Meine Genetik? Dich haben Recht; Ich weiß It depends upon what you are talking about. My genetics? You are right; I do know."

Shame covered his face like a mask. "Ich kann für dieses, meine Tochter nur entschuldigen. Ich war falsch I can only apologize for that, my Daughter. I was wrong."

"Warum? Why?"

My Father swallowed, there were tears in the back of his eyes, tears that he was trying to choke down. "Es war Unrecht, meine Tochter. Ich dachte nur an das Schützen. Aber ich war das Unrecht, sehr falsch. Diese drei Jahre dachten I, daß Sie durch sie kidnapped. Ich holte dieses Wissen vor dem Rat, und sie lachten an mir. Ich kann nicht sogar vorstellen, wie Sie fühlen müssen. Ich bin traurig It was wrong, my Daughter. I only thought about protecting myself. But I was wrong, very wrong. These three years I thought you were kidnapped by them. I brought that knowledge in front of the Council, and they laughed at me. I cannot even imagine how you must feel. I am sorry."

It was no miracle answer- in fact, it was all that I had expected, but it had come from him. There was a broken and tormented man sitting in front of me. His apology was more than enough. It could never make up for what he had caused me, but it was enough to begin the process of healing. I rushed over and hugged him. As our chorus of sobs and tears became louder, the three in the other room came in suddenly and joined us in a moment of sheer reflection. We stood there around my Father, just hugging each other. For my broken family this was enough.

At 22:00 hours, Peter came back for me in a flash of light. The others in the kitchen backed up, clearly surprised. Like a phantom, I sauntered over to his side and disappeared, wordlessly and unwillingly.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The Bridge was awfully quiet when I walked on it the next day. Most of the senior staff had taken their positions already. The Captain was silently sipping her mug of black coffee. Chakotay sat next to her in his chair, reading crew reports. Tom was at the helm, his fingers flying noiselessly over the controls. Harry stood at the Ops Station, staring intently at the displays. Even Tuvok had himself engrossed in altering security. No one even looked up when I walked on the Bridge, five minutes late, and carefully took the Science Station. I began the work for today, setting up sensor sweeps and sending the data down to Stellar Cartography.

The silence only grew more profound, and at the point where I almost couldn't take it anymore, a strange gust of air blew through the Bridge. People looked up surprised and scanned the room. The air was blowing around the room recklessly and strongly, and all we could do was merely look around.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, a voice boomed. The scent of Enkarrian roses filled the air, and the aroma was so pungent, it inflamed my senses. I suddenly knew that the message was from Peter, that somehow this was his goodbye. He would now be an invisible presence in my life. I also knew that the roses he had given me were no longer in my room, but instead were back in their proper place, withered away. He had finally excepted that while life ended, the end didn't really matter as long as it was spent fully.

I couldn't have been anymore surprised when the sound of a downpour filled our ears. It sounded like something of incredible weight was scraping against the hull of the ship.

Janeway no longer waited to spring into action. "Lieutenant Tuvok, what is that sound?" she demanded, her phasor in her hand.

Tuvok stoically looked puzzled. "Thousands of molecules are passing right through our shields at an alarming rate."

Harry flew over his controls. "The molecules- they're appearing from nowhere! They are just appearing and disappearing- I don't understand it."

The scent of a spring rain floated on the air. Somehow I already knew what to expect, and I scanned a small sample of the molecules, crying shamelessly. This was what I had told him; Peter was giving me back what I missed the most. "It's H2O, Captain," I answered hollowly when the results came back. "It's raining, Captain," I breathlessly observed as the downpour miraculously came down into the bridge, drenching all of us. "It's raining, Captain."

Das Ende The End