I sat in the carriage while it silently carried my to the castle. Hogwarts. I tried to swallow the knot in my throat, but with every attempt, the knot seemed to expand in size.

I wrung my hands together, a nervous habit I had developed over the years of having to deal with losing a parent. In my case, both my parents. I looked out the window to see Hogwarts rapidly approaching. I didn't want to go back to Hogwarts, the root of all my unhappy memories.

My parents died here. In the potions room. They were speaking with my uncle, who was telling them about some secret potion bullshit. The most important thing I learned at Hogwarts was to never trust my uncle.

If it weren't for his letter beckoning them to meet him at Hogwarts immediately, they'd still be alive. Oh, it was a shock to me as I was walking to Transfiguration to see them standing outside a door. They told me they were here to speak with my uncle and they'll visit me later. The last thing they ever told me was they'd see me soon.

They lied.

I hate my uncle. I hate my uncle. I hate my uncle. I hate my uncle. I hate my uncle. I hate my uncle. I hate my uncle! I'll say it a million times but not to his face. He'd surely poison me for that. It's his fault I have to stay with him.

It sure took the Ministry a while to find me. I was already out of Hogwarts when the Minister of Magic himself came knocking at my door himself! I ran, but they caught me. They took me into my room and locked the door. He told me my parents were dead (like I didn't already know). He said I had to go into the custody of my Uncle.

I hate Cornelius Fudge. I hate Cornelius Fudge. I hate Cornelius Fudge. I hate Cornelius Fudge. I hate Cornelius Fudge. I hate Cornelius Fudge. I hate Cornelius Fudge! And I hate my uncle.

He hates me. To him, I'm a mere nuisance that demands his time, money and attention. He hates me. I believe he hates Cornelius Fudge as well. Something we have in common. Damn. It's the only thing we have in common. That and our hair. Black. Boring ugly black hair. I tried dyeing it blonde with a charm during my fifth year, but that turned my hair vomit green. I haven't dared to try that charm again since then.

As the carriage drew nearer to the castle, I had thoughts of jumping out and running. But for some reason I remained in my seat. I wanted to scream. To run. To do something besides sitting here. Why should I be forced to sit in the very same place my parents were killed day after day alongside my uncle, of all people? I'm sure he hates this just as much as I do.

When the carriage stopped, I didn't dare move. I didn't want to leave the sanctuary of this carriage and enter the place that nearly drives me insane with the mere thought of it! So I stayed in my seat.

The door was opened by a tall boy dressed in Hogwarts robes with a badge reading 'Prefect' on his chest. "Excuse me, Miss." He said, seeming rather annoyed. "Go join the rest of the students and don't dawdle!" A student! He thought I was a student!

"Excuse me, Sir." I mocked him, trying to keep myself from shouting with rage. "But I did realize that and I am not a student. I am a student teacher here and I believe I should be treated with a bit more respect." I slowly climbed out of the carriage on my shaking legs and slammed the door behind me. The prefect scowled at me and stalked off to another carriage. "Brat." I muttered.

There it was. Hogwarts. It loomed in front of me, beckoning me to come inside. 'Come in and see your parents' death place.' It said. 'Come in to spend the year with your uncle.' 'Come in to hell.'

I turned away from it and started walking away quickly. "The castle's that way, miss." The prefect from before said to me with a laugh in his voice. I ignored him. I walked past the carriages and wanted to run. But something stopped me dead in my tracks. "Go to Hogwarts." A voice arose in the back of my head. "Go back. Your uncle will be upset. Poison.Poison!"

I sank to my knees and screamed, covering my face with my hands. I was going insane! I had to get out of here! I had to see my parents again! I never even said goodbye.

Slowly and reluctantly, I rose to my feet, stumbling as I turned to face my fears. Hogwarts. I didn't feel my feet moving. They carried me as far as the great doors of Hogwarts and then stopped. I craned my neck to look up at the massive building.

Hogwarts.

I can do this.

Just go inside.

Run! Run away!

Go inside!

Run away!!

GO INSIDE!

Slower than a snail, I pushed open one of the great doors and put one foot on the hard ground of Hogwarts.

Hogwarts.

I did it.

I am inside.

I am afraid.

I am worried.

I am Yelena Snape.