Disclaimer: RayEarth is not mine.  Please don't sue.

He had seen many things in the void of sleep, many births and deaths, many joys and heartbreaks.  There had been times that the Earth world shown clearly before him, a beautiful blue star that brought comfort and companionship.  He could see Autozam at times too, his own home farther away than ever before, but somehow with him always.  It was easy to tell he was not there, for the aura of Cepherio, his own final resting place, could block out everything else at times.

            But it had been clear that day, when the Blue Magic Knight pulsed through the space between worlds, coming to Cepherio and then never leaving.  It had been only a few Earth days, yet months in the world where one's will was reality.  He could tell she meant to stay, for there were rumblings among the Rune Gods.  Celes was happy, which told him that Umi was happy to. 

            It was a surprise then to have seen a single, slender whisper of red light penetrate that gray mist which more often than not could surround him as it did his heart.  Like a butterfly bounced and swayed by unseen winds, it had been beyond his reach, out of calling range by his heart.  He knew she hadn't returned to Cepherio yet, their connection being what it was he would have felt her, but just to see that shimmer of her was devastating.

            She'd gone past him to RayEarth, the Rune God of her destiny.  That mighty presence, a force that was both his defeat and savior, had been a constant comfort, always letting him know when she approached.  Letting him see her from time to time on Earth, entering through her dreams and standing to the side even while she was within reach.  But always, like the thread of her being calling to Cepherio, she disappeared.

            This time though Celes had come also, had merged with her and calmed the anxiety that tainted the connection.  Together the two divine beings had corrected the fear in her, had shown her why her friend had come to their world, and finally had sent her back.  Again, he'd stayed to the side.

            There were times of late though that he could feel Umi's presence beside him.  She talked with him at times; slurred tones that made no sense yet soothed him nonetheless.  All throughout his sleep, Guru Clef had come into his mind, but now there was happiness in the older man that sunk him deeper into the illness that at first he had been overcoming.  He kept it hidden for all but himself and the Rune Gods, but they could offer little help.  He knew what could change it all but she was beyond him.

********

Lantis visited the room less and less, but not because he had an aversion to seeing his friend.  It was because looking at Eagle reminded him of Hikaru.  She had fought so hard to keep him alive, to bring him back from the road to the Pillar which only one was supposed to survive, and now it seemed as though he was wasting away. 

            At first, when the Knights had first left, little seemed to change.  They all knew the girls belonged on the other world, they all knew that visits would be few and far between because of the way time passed, and they knew that it might be months before the Pillar and her friends would return.  But years had passed. 

Upon Umi's return a great cheer chorused throughout Cepherio and Lantis had returned almost immediately, hoping Hikaru too had come.  But it was for naught, for the Blue Magic Knight was the only one, and her reason had very little to do with just friendships.  She had come back for Clef, to finally declare and take hold of the love she held for the 700 year-old mage. 

It had been a frantic and busy few weeks since then, the preparations for their joining having begun almost instantly, but Lantis still held back from the festivities.  Umi said her friends would know, her absence noticed quickly, and that then they would come.  She had no intentions of returning to Earth but rather staying with Clef.  She knew Hikaru was aware that she was safe, Celes having come to her with that bit of information, but the Rune God had not divulged any knowledge as to when the Pillar and Green Magic Knight would come.  It was driving him crazy waiting.

At the doors to Eagle's room, Lantis ran a hand through his hair before entering.  It was an old habit from when he'd lived here with Zogato and probably signified deep down that he had a confession to make.  Clef had told him once that Eagle could still hear them, their words were not falling on deaf ears, but it was only Hikaru that could reach him.  The bond they shared was stronger than that even of twins, for it was a powerful mixture of heart and soul, the two things that had qualified them to become the Pillar.

Afternoon light twinkled in through skylights and patterned the floor in wild stripes.  Eagle lay on a bed set in almost the exact center of the room.  His features, like all the other times Lantis had come, were relaxed, the rise and fall of his chest almost unperceivable.  The image was one of such peace, the Magic Swordsman sighed before he could stop himself.

"Well, Eagle," he began, taking a seat near the side of the bed and addressing the man as though it was any other conversation on any other day.  "Umi has returned and she says that Hikaru will also at some point.  I am beginning to wonder if that'll happen or not, though Umi did mention that Celes told her Hikaru knew where she was.  It's strange that she came by herself though . . ."

He drifted off into thought and only came back to himself when a creak at the door proved to be Clef entering the room.

"Oh.  I apologize for interrupting, Lantis," the mage said, obviously surprised to find someone else with Eagle.  "I will return later," and he would have left if Lantis hadn't called out otherwise.

"It is fine, Guru.  I was only telling him about Umi's return."

The mage smiled wistfully at mention of his love, but kept his mind from wondering too far in that direction.  "I imagine he already knows, Lantis.  His soul resides in that dimension where the Rune Gods are.  They can see all the worlds from there and any Knight traveling to Cepherio would appear quite vividly through that realm."

Lantis nodded, turning to look at Eagle again.  "So you were hold out on me, huh?" he said to the sleeping form, a slight smile catching at the irony of it.  Eagle had withheld so much about himself, his illness least of all, and Lantis could only wonder at how deep his friend's secrets ran.

"He will likely know before the rest of us when Hikaru and Fuu come," Clef said as he same to stand at the foot of the bed.  "I have not seen anything though that would signify the coming of the Magic Knights.  RayEarth and Windam are still silent to me about it all."

He brought another chair up next to Eagle's bed and settled to begin his work with the young commander from Autozam.  Though Clef would never admit it to Lantis, or any of the others, Eagle was worsening daily.  Since the time of Umi's arrive he had begun to make less progress towards full recovery and then, as if dealt a blow that he could not handle, the young man's condition had plummeted down past even the severity of when'd he had first fallen in sleep.  His mental energies were almost nonexistent and the extent of damage done daily was almost too much for even Clef to correct.  Eagle was giving up, it appeared, and having that knowledge living inside him was tearing Clef apart as well.

Lantis chatted lightly to Eagle the entire time Clef was meditating.  The Guru was skilled enough that he didn't have to touch Eagle to make a connection, and the day's session passed quickly.  Lantis could see a little more color in Eagle's features afterwards, and it was enough to lessen his anxiety about his friend's lengthy illness and sleep.  He would pull though, Lantis thought as he left the room.  That was one thing Eagle was good at doing.

********


They were gone.  He was alone again.  The Master Mage of Cepherio had left him feeling whole again, but it would only last until that evening, then the despair would be back.  He could already feel it eating away at the shield Clef had erected around his mind, a barrier to protect him from himself.

            He wondered how much longer it would go on.  Would he be alive still when Hikaru came, if she did, or would he have drifted away from his body and joined the other spirits that came but always continued on from this void?  It was weakening Clef's shield to think about so he turned away, focusing on the beautiful blue world he could once again see.

            She was down there, living her life while he struggled.  There was no malice in him towards her, just regret that such an exquisite person had come into his life, and like a fool he'd let her pass him by.  Had he held on to her, maybe this would never have happened.  Maybe he would have been able to live and be happy instead of falling deeper and deeper into this hell. 

He would have lost Autozam though, and Zazu, and Geo, and all the other people who had looked up to him to find a solution to their dilemma.  On the days when he could see his home, he would be seeing his failure and selfishness rather than the thriving world that it had become.  He'd sacrificed to save them and this was just part of that.

Soon it would end.

---&---&---&---&---&---

Author's Note:

A little depressing and still sort of vague as to whom I've decided on for the male leading role, but that's still to come.  Let me know what you think and I'll write some more soon.  I posted another chapter to Umi and Clef's, The Way Things Were: Citrus Redux, for your reading pleasures.  Okay, have to study for a while.

Cheers,

Rymsie

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