Disclaimer: My usual, F*%$ OFF YOU COPYRIGHTS PPL, I DONT OWN ANYTHING!! thingy.
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Terranigma creations presents...
Rem's Game chapter 2: Yiddish Hamsters
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Vash sneezed abruptly before turning the page to his diary. He remembered how he got to know those insurance girls: Milly and Meryl.
Day1 (After meeting insurance girls): Another uneventful day, all that happened was the usual town being destroyed bit. It always gets blamed on me for some odd reason. I told them I didn't destroy that town, but who are you going to believe, a most wanted super criminal, or a rookie bounty hunter. Apparently my testimony wasn't that convincing, so I just left and journeyed onward. I saw a wanted ad when passing by a town. The ad said, Looking for a bodyguard who is strong as Vash the Stampede. Well who would be as strong as Vash himself, so I replied to the ad. The guy was really weird, I just came up to the door and he already knew I was Vash.
Day 4:A few days passed; I really am having fun at the mansion; lots of hiding places to fire my tranquilizer gun at the old man. He always knocks out, them I always tie him to the roof. He asks me how he gets there, but I just reply it was those assasins. He doesn't seem to belive me; his reason is that assasins don't ususally draw pentagrams on their victim's chests with goats blood. Hey ANYONE can use goats blood, and the pentagram was a very popular symbol back in the day. I need some more entertainment if I'm going to stay here any longer.
Day 5: Yep, I decided to stay a while longer. It isn't because a extreamly pretty girl named Marriana arrived, it's just that I feel that I have a responsibility to honor my contract (yeah right, oops, did I write that? Where is my eraser?!)
Day 6: Some people knocked on the door today, and it so happened to be those insurance girls. It really is a coincidense I saw them again, because usually after I meet people they end up in mental hospitals, i wonder why? They talked to my boss about the assasins and other boring things. Then he introduced them to Marianna, thats when I put on my serious face. The shorter one took my boos into the back room to talk about silly things like: He's not Vash the Stampede, he's just some tall, big, stupid, brush headed fool who can't tell the difference between a gunshot wound and a stab wound. I was insulted, a gunshot wound usually has a spiral pattern in the inside and a smaller exit spot (because of the lost velocity) and a stab is usually in the form of a slit, unless you twist the blade, that makes it more painful. She told him that she and her friend would stay as free body guards. Later that night I just wondered about and saw them working in the kitchen. I decided to ask about the status of dinner. The short one called me a penis wrinkle, I'm not really sure if that was a complement or not. The tall one said that the shorter one was having her period. I'm not really sure what a period was, but I heard it involved blood, so I asked if I could watch. The short one turned really red and was waving a kitchen knife at me, heh heh, good ol' memories of Rem and her games with knives. The tall one told me to go or I would get fired for not looking out for the assasin. so I went. I walked by to hear that water was running in Marriana's room. That could mean two things: 1. that she was taking a shower; or 2. an assasin was drowning her, even though there was no sound of struggle. Not to take anychances, I decided to check it out. From the door would be too conspicuous, so I decided to lower myself useing a rope to the window. I found no one there, it kinda made me depressed that there was no action anywhere, assassin action that it (you pervert). The rest is just really boring stuff: wrestling with the short insurance girl, she's really strong, and finding and underground passage. I thought it was just another Sacrificial pit, but to my surprise my boss and Marriana were playing Rem's game! I decided to jump in and show them how it was done. I'm sorry, but my boss really sucked at this game, he never could hit me! So i did a little of my work, he overreacted and blew up his water supply. What a sore loser! The towns people got their water, and I had won another round at Rem's game. I left, not trying to start things up with Marianna, she said shed arrest me if I was Vash. I was excited when she said something about handcuffs, but the jail cell thing sounded incredibly boring.
Day 17: The past few days were interesting. Just the usual: having a drunk guy fix my gun so I could save the town, defeating a corrupt sherif from destroying the town type of situations; a walk in the park. The town I was in knew I was Vash, so they tried to kill me. It was a Rem game FFA! Reminds me of Rem's version of hide and seek, only no acid or homing missiles (those hurt). This Nebraska guy tried to kill me for the reward on my head. When the dust cleared from the impact of his fist, I decided to make an entrance; something I like to call badass time. He was a very bad shot, he accidentally shot his hand in the direction of the innocent bystanders. I decided to see how strong his hand was. I shot it 5 times and he started to cry like a baby! No threshold for pain what-so-ever! He goes in the category Rem liked to call Since I wasn't very hungry I just shot his arm. That was a best game I've had in day, it makes me wanna make LOVE AND PEACE!
Day 19: Someone from my past showed up, even though I didn't know it at first. She was a real woman! I mean that she was very intelligent, it had nothing to do with her physical attributes of course. She and I switched rooms for some odd reason, maybe she wants to smell the manly musk I left in the room, or maybe it was the fact that there was a homicidal maniac in her room...besides me. This guy out of nowhere leaped at me with these blade things. Blades are very efficient at hurting a person without showing visible wounds, I learned that from Rem's with Knives. I broke his blades by shooting at it, not very strong material at all! I decided to show him my favorite part of the game that I like to call He chickened out and ran. Hmff, what a wuss. He accidentally left his grenade behind, I tried to give it back to him, but since it was activated I really had no choice in the matter. The next day I went to the plant to see how things were going. The plant had a malfunction so I went to investigate. That same guy was there! I defeated him (like there was any doubt in my mind), and found out that that cute girl was out to get me! It was for a good reason though, she was mad about destroying July town. Who wouldn't you could see the damage from miles away! Rem would've been so disappointed if she knew that disaster was my handy work. It was a dark spot in my history. She tried to self destruct the plant, but I just talked to old Bob not to by saying self destruction was so 100 years ago (plants are very conscientious about fashion). After I settled that little problem, she held me at gunpoint wanting to kill me. I told her that I didn't die because the explosion would destroy the town. If I let the own be destroyed I might as well hang a BIG sign saying: VASH THE STAMPEDE SUCKS AT REM'S GAME!! I told her she would be just like me. She started to cry for some reason, I guess those were tears of joy, for the fact that I am the best player (Rem's game that is you pervert) in the universe! I decided to leave the town though, my work was done again. Milly and Meryl finally know me as Vash, and I played an excellent game as well. I left by train to seek new games to play, Rem style of course.
Author's note: SORRY SORRY FOR THE DELAY. I was so busy these last few weeks so I didn't get any time to write. Busy with school and Diablo II, Damn frickn' digital crack! Ahem anyway I would love to hear feedback, and please no flames, I have no time for that.
And by the way, if you haven't noticed Everyone in this story is OOC.
