Chapter 5
"An Angel?" Buffy repeated.
"That's what I think. All the signs point to it. The spell to bring you back was never finished and the powers that be did the best they could to finish it. That might account for your problems with Spike, how you felt incomplete, and his absence of a soul filled yours?" Buffy flushed with the poor explanation she had given Tara. "It also accounts for your ability to be so strong and not get hurt."
"And this is bad because…"
"It means you aren't real Buffy. And you can't finish living and dying until you are real."
"So Gepeto, how do I become a real boy? I've done as many 'real' things as I could. If I'm an Angel wouldn't it be like the frog prince and poof a kiss or let's get real, sleeping with him, would make me real? Christ I even told him I loved him!"
"But do you?"
"I-I think so. I thought so." Buffy's brows knitted in frustration.
"Don't worry. We'll work through this." Tara said comfortingly.
"It's funny, how now that you're not Willow's girlfriend your more of a friend." Tara's head sank.
"I'm sorry. Open mouth insert foot. I just mean, I'm grateful."
"I know. Kindred spirits aren't we?" Tara gave her a small grin. "You should probably go back to your house, and Dawn. It's getting late.
"You're ok."
"Fine." Buffy left and Tara sat, pouring over her books. There was something she didn't tell Buffy. An Angel on earth comes with a limited price tag. There had to be a way to fix it, because as much as Tara hoped Buffy would truly love Spike, part of her was all pessimist.
Buffy was getting a headache processing the information. She thought of the time a few weeks back in the studio battling Joe. He had taken something from her and in turn it had destroyed him. But maybe she had mistaken it for a love for Spike. Maybe it was something else, the glimpse of her soul, he tried to extract, the fragments of an angel reflected back on her.
"Oh I need Tylenol." Buffy moaned, stopping in midthought. She knew something had happened in LA, something big, but not big enough. It had started the ball rolling in the right direction and she had to finish the game, or something like that.
She found the container of ice cream in the freezer and pulled it close as she sank down to a seat at the table. After a few careless mouthfuls were downed she looked at the label. "Tin Roof Sundae." She said with a grin. "Now where's stock boy when you need him?"