Chapter Twelve

Lina looked to the stairs and then to Zelgadiss. The sun was begging to go down and she had just finished listing to Zel explain to her why they were there. The two were sitting in the dim light of the setting sun, the overstuffed sofa becoming uncomfortable to Lina now that she had heard the story "I can't believe it," she waited with baited breath praying he'd tell her he was lying.

"Well believe it, it's true," Zel studied her features carefully. Her face looked pale, as though some marble statue that would shatter if he dare touch.

"Well," Lina walked to the kitchen and picked disappeared from site.

Zelgadiss rose and followed the redhead onto the tile floor.

"Mom?-Yeah-Look, I'm spending the night at K-chan's k'?-Thanx-Love you too-bye," Lina handed the phone to Zel.

Zel looked at the phone and shrugged "Already called,"

Lina smiled and put the cordless phone back in its charger "Sylphiel! I'm staying over! Hope you don't mind!"

Sylphiel made a sound similar to that of a dieing goat "Miss Lina!"

"Sorry!" Lina said although the word didn't hold much meaning as she spoke it and looked out the window. The sun was definatly setting. Lina allowed her fingertips to play upon the glass pain, tracing the lines of the sunset. It was perfect now. That moment when you can look directly into sky, into the sun's rays and not have to shield your eyes.

Zelgadiss saw its perfection with clarity. He had a perfect understanding of its beauty, reflected in the eyes of Lina. The pinks and oranges dancing across her face. She was-

"Zel?"

"UAH!" Don't stare at her! You idiot! Don't stare at her!

Lina smiled in amusement as Zel stumbled at the sound of her voice. Brushing past Zel she swung onto the overstuffed sofa grabbed the remote. She turned on the television and pressed the buttons. Nothing was on. She kept changing channels.

"Wait!" Zel shouted leaning forward in surprise.

"Huh?" Lina started to flip back.

"There!"

Up one channel "The news?" Lina suddenly saw what he had been looking at. It was a weather forecast.

"Tonight we can expect low temperatures," the weatherman said "Possibly even below zero," something white drifted across the screen "And oddly enough there's a good chance of snow!" He sounded surprised. After all it wasn't the right time for snow...actually they never really got snow even when they were supposed to...

"Wow," Lina breathed and then tugged on Zel's sleeve as though he hadn't heard.

"That's...odd...," Zel looked again to the window. The sun had almost completely vanished from the sky.

Lina clapped her hands in a sudden burst of happiness...of course this happiness was not long..."I'll get it," Lina rose and went to the door. With several flicks of her wrist she had unlocked it and swung the door open "Filia?! How'd you get here,"

"I checked my caller id,"

"I did that?" Filia gripped the arm of the sofa. No she felt truly horrible. She had never meant to... If she had only known...

"I don't think it was only you..." Zel said.

Lina's eyes cut into Filia "But don't get us wrong a big portion of that is still your fault,"

Zel folded his arms over his chest "True,"

Sylphiel began to climb down the stairs her hand trailing along the banister "Mr. Zelgadiss, Miss. Lina? I was wondering what do you two want-" Sylphiel's words trailed off as she saw Filia.

"Sylphiel I-" the last thing Filia saw was a fist flying at her face.

"Sylphiel!" Zel scolded.

"What you got to do it once. Why can't I have my turn?"

Xelloss closed his eyes and exhaled. He hated them for this. Testing his bindings he jerked his legs. No luck. Another jerk. Still no luck. "Ah!" Xelloss opened his eyes and pulled his hands forward with great force. His bonds loosened.

Filia awoke on the floor. It was dark when she awoke. She could see hardly anything. Quietly she rose. Lina's form was curled up on the sofa. Her hair spread out on two white pillows and a green comforter lay over her body. Beside the sofa, right below Lina lay Zelgadiss. His head rested on pillows as Lina had and over him a sofa throw-over. Filia looked up the stairs. She had to see for herself that Xelloss was alright. Slowly she climbed the stairs almost falling once, then regaining her balance quickly. Using her hands against the carpeting of the stairs she at last got to the top. Sighing she rested a hand against the wall once done climbing and allowed it to trail along. She almost tripped over Slyphiel. Sylphiel was asleep within the doorway of a room, no doubt Xelloss's. She herself had several pillows and a goosedown comforter. Her breathing was so soft it was no wonder Filia hadn't noticed her. Filia saw the outline of a bed in the back of the room. Taking a step forward she realized she'd have no luck without the lights on "Uh," gently Filia moved the raven haired teen from the doorway and gently tucked the blanket back to her chin. Slowly she closed the door and turned on the light. Filia sighed as the light blinded her and heard another moan to match her own from the bed. It took a few moments for Filia's eyes to adjust "Xelloss?" Cautiously and neverously she crept forward and in seconds had kneeled beside the bed. She saw him. His features were calm and still, his face emotionless and his breathing steady "Xelloss?" She whispered again and this time his eyes opened and she let out a soft cry as she saw his dead eyes. She looked away "No," She forced herself to face him and open her eyes meeting his own. He looked at her indifferently but Filia studied still. As much as she tried she couldn't find any humanity and as much as she wanted to say that it wasn't true it was. She couldn't bare it any longer "It was my fault wasn't it? It was," Filia paused then stood and began to walk away.

"No," there was a long pause.

Filia looked stunned towards the bed. Xelloss's breathing had sped a little but his eyes were now closed. His voice had been so seemed so light and alien to Filia. It hadn't sounded like Xelloss at all. Quickly she went to his bedside once more "Then why?" She asked kneeling once more and folding her hands in her lap.

Xelloss took a long while to answer "Do you know that feeling, when you're in the dark, when you feel cold and alone? When you make maybe the most painful realization that you'll ever make and it just...hurts...?"

Filia didn't know what to say "I-no-I don't-"

"Heh," Xelloss smiled sadly "Then I can't explain it...but...lately that's the only feeling I've felt. You were right no one could love someone like me,"

"No-," Filia felt a stabbing pain in her heart "I didn't-"

"No, you were right. It's to the point where I would take my own life if I could but...I'm too much of a coward....," Xelloss smiled again "It figures. All I can do now is not care. No one else would care if I was gone,"

"That's not true!" Filia leaned forward with a burst of speed "You're parents! They would care,"

"My mother," Xelloss corrected "and no she you wouldn't care. She's never cared about anything before. At least she's never cared about me,"

"Xelloss people would care!" Filia was standing now.

"Who?" Xelloss's voice was flat.

"I don-no-someone would care Xelloss! There would be someone who would care! I would care!"

Xelloss's eyes snapped open in surprise and he looked at Filia startled.

Filia saw it then. Humanity. She saw sadness in his eyes and she began to cry "Xelloss I'm so sorry!" Filia collapsed onto him, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her head in his chest. Her tears spilled onto his shirt and her shoulders shook and she wept.

"Filia," Xelloss's voice was even softer than before.

"I'm sorry," Filia apologized for an apology. Sitting back she bowed her head and stayed still where she sat in the middle of the bed.

Xelloss looked at her and pulling on his hands for what must have been the hundredth time that night but this time pulled free. His hands still bound together but unfastened from the bedframe Xelloss moved them his arms back over his head and into his lap. Now he easily freed himself from the rest of his bindings. Slowly he rose to his knees and moved beside her. She was still crying, her face was contorted in sadness and Xelloss couldn't stand the fact that he had done this. Despite all she had done to him he still couldn't bear in that this was because of him, she was crying for him "No," he said softly brushing her tears away, gently running a hand over her cheek.

Filia raised her eyes just a bit but seeing what he was doing shook her head and pulled away. She didn't deserve his sympathy "Xelloss I'm sorry. I knew what I was saying and it's my fault you-"

Xelloss felt a sob in his throat and tried not to cry.

"I never meant to-"

This time it was Xelloss who collapsed laying his head on Filia's shoulder, crying as she had and still was.

"-hurt you," she finished softly, raising her hands, resting one on his left shoulder blade and stroking his hair with the other. Closing her eyes momentarily and then opening them Filia laid her cheek so that it rested gently against the top of his head. Her tears weren't as strong now but Xelloss was crying harder than ever "Shh," she breathed trying to calm him "Shh," she spoke to him as though he were a child, still running her fingers through his violet hair "I meant it you know," Filia said as though realizing it herself for the first time "I would care if you died," Filia's voice broke as she spoke as another sob came "I know I've never even been remotely kind to you. I've said things that I shouldn't have. I've said things that should never be said to anyone and yet I said them to you. But...," Filia stopped moving and looked to a point in the wall "...but really If I ever lost you..." Filia tightened her grasp on him as though she might truly loose him just by suggesting it "...I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you," Filia's eyes widened in realization.

Xelloss pulled away and looked at her his tears beginning to die away. He still looked surprised and now watched her wide eyes in wonder.

Filia looked at him and looked over everyone one of his features as though only really seeing him for the first time. She knew it now. Slowly Filia extended her right hand and placed it to the side of his face.

Xelloss closed his eyes at her touch and felt her raise her hand and outline the shape of his face with the same hand. Xelloss opened his eyes and raised his bound hands to her hand, holding it where it was.

Filia smiled as the tears came now only this smile was one of joy "I-I-"

Xelloss took a breath in as he realized the same thing "I love you,"

Filia couldn't say anything, she couldn't even finish the sentence herself, all she could do was cry and laugh and then she leaned forward and without realization so did Xelloss. Their hands tensed on the sheets of the bed and then their lips met. Almost immediately they both pulled back though only a bit. Each looked at the other and then Filia was able to speak "I love you,"

It was Xelloss who smiled this time and then they both rushed into another kiss. This one more passionate, Filia's hands weaving around his back and then back hastily to untie his hands without ending the best kiss of her entire life. Xelloss wrapped his arms around her as her own arms returned to where they had been. A glow seemed to emanate from them and from their kiss. Filling the room as if by magic. As if the glow itself was somehow magic. The glow was blinding, even with their eyes closed as the had been they should have been able to see it. They were already blinded. Not by lust but love. The glow brightened even more extinguishing the overhead light and then dimmed slightly so that they were the only things illuminated by its glow. Filia pulled her hands from his back and placed them on his arms, slowly she guided them down her torso and resting on his hands on her hips. Gently she removed her hands from his and placed them on his shoulders leaning onto one side so that she moved in front of him and he behind her facing each other all the while and stopping when on the side the other had been. Slowly Xelloss leaned back. Filia laid her body on his moving with him. Xelloss came to a stop on the pillows and Filia with him. Then both ended the kiss. The glow began to dim and neither said a word. They lay in silence Filia matching her breathing with his and their hearts beating as one. The glow brightened only a little more not blinding in the least and brought the blanket over the two, then it dimmed. In seconds the light was reduced into two tiny spears. Slowly the light spiraled downwards until resting then disappearing into Filia and Xelloss, the two fell asleep in each other's arms.