A/N: Alright some of you thought the last chap was the end but pfft, ppl like you and me we need closure, eh? No assuming is gonna do the trick. If this chap is a little weird, I just finished reading Galax-Arena by Gillian Anderson and holy hell that book creeps me out. And yet I continue to read it...anyone out there read it? If ya do ya kno what I'm talking about. On with the story!! :)
~Chapter 9~
Zell walked into the room and his heart sunk. He felt it fall through his chest and make its way down, slithering through his body as if propelled by some hidden weight. The stupid thing was that he had suspected it would turn out this way, he had known it with every fiber of his being and he had denied it. [Almost really doesn't count.] Bitter, and suddenly assaulted with a pure and piercing coldness, he took one last glance at the blonde beauty curled up on Seifer's chest. Sighing, he turned and left. He felt overcome by the irony. His temper, a great weapon in battle, had lost him the only one he had ever loved. He wondered vaguely if they would notice his disappearance, engaged in their loving embraces and comforting togetherness. Scoffing at his own stupidity, he wandered seemingly aimlessly, unsure of his destination, unsure how to get there. When and if he made it back to Garden he would be forced to pretend he cared more about hot dogs than her. More about fighting than her. More about missions and curfews and Garden than her. And he found the thought of pretending he cared more about those things, of perhaps having to feign an uncaring facade if Seifer and Quistis came back, ignoring their existence as a couple meaning anything more than a drop in the bucket to him, all that was just too much.
He was too weak. He could never stand that. He noticed he had made it down to the docks now. Zell looked at the water and thought of Quistis's eyes. He saw the sun and saw her golden hair. And he knew he would never be able to pretend. Zell did not pretend, he was brutally honest and sometimes just brutal but he could not hide behind falseness. It seemed fitting then that he should end it the way he had begun it. Drowning in those eyes...
~*~
In the hospital room, Quistis's eyes flew open. Something was wrong that she could not place. Everything should be so right. She was with Seifer, he was okay, and the sun was shining. It nagged her, deep in the dark recesses of her mind, that something was out of place. Rising, she went out to the waiting room and glanced around furtively. ~Hmm...No Zell~ She asked a passing nurse if she had seen a short blonde man leave the hospital earlier. She replied that yes, she had, and it looked as though he were headed toward the dock. She was quite willing to engage Quistis in a conversation about how she supposed he was off to find work, but she politely dodged her and re-entered Seifer's room. Shaking him gently, she smiled down at him with the aura of an angel.
"Seifer..." He grumbled at her, lost in his sleepy world where she was only a hazy spirit.
"Mmm..." She poked him hard, right between the eyes, all pretense of having patience with him gone. "Ow...mmm...what?!"
"I'm gonna go find Zell, okay? I'll be back soon." Scowling at her, he made a poorly aimed grab for her arm, still foggy from sleep.
"Let Zell find himself," he yawned. Quistis smiled and shook her head. The feeling had upped its ante, and she knew she needed to find him. Dropping Seifer a quick peck on the lips, she made her exit.
~*~
Quistis walked hurriedly through the streets, down to the docks. She didn't try to appear casual and she didn't try to repress the growing lump in her stomach. It felt like the whole universe had slipped out of sync, one cog had malfunctioned and the whole machine was going down in ruin.
When she reached the docks, there was no sign of the martial artist. She walked out to the very end of one of the piers to get a better look. She could see every pier, every building, every sailor and dockhand, but no Zell. Despairing, she glanced down at the water when something caught her eye. A flash of something that was definitely not a fish. As she gazed downward, she made out the dark outline of a person. Of Zell.
She threw herself in the water, seized his arm, and pulled him to the surface. He was deadweight, and it took her a long time and a lot of swallowed water to haul him onto the pier. He had picked one of the lesser-frequented areas of the dock; there was no one to assist her that was within earshot.
Staring at his prone form as if pleading with him to wake up, she pressed her head to his chest. She heard nothing. Desperate for him to breathe she held sunglasses in front of his nose. She saw no fog. Performing CPR, rising to the occasion like the SeeD she had been trained to be, she went through the motions of reviving him. She saw nothing for her efforts. Casting every cure spell she had picked up from the hospital in case of another emergency, she still heard not a heart, felt not a breath.
It was then that she noticed what he had clutched in his hand, his fingers unrelaxed around the object, rigid with fear of letting go. It was the peach vest Quistis had thrown out her first day in FH.
Happy, bubbly Quince evaporated as if she were but another chunk of ice in a hot fire. Quistis, and only Quistis, shattered to pieces as she broke down and sobbed for her dead friend. She cried until the tears simply would not come. She cried until she felt hollow and empty and worthless. She cursed herself for not being there sooner. She screamed at Zell for doing this to himself. Most of all she cursed Hyne for allowing this to happen. Either way, she was left with a hollow bubble in her throat, her thin reign on calm pulled to its extent. If onlies would not bring Zell back. She was finished with crying, she had done all she could for that day. So she went into her second reserve. She screamed. In a raw, strangled, inhuman cry that voiced every feeling that words failed to describe, she succeeded in drawing a crowd.
Finally, someone whom Quistis did not recognize took Zell's body away. She tried to voice her hysteria into rational, coherent sentences. She made an attempt to tell them they couldn't take him, not now. All that escaped her lips were the ravings of a mad woman. She followed the police to the station obediently, sat down covered in a warm blanket, and drank the coffee she was given. Quistis went through the motions of living but felt none of it in those first few hours. Gazing at the floor, memories ran through her head. Zell at the orphanage, what little she could piece together. Most of the memories centered around Zell as he was...had been...in the present. She saw him grinning at the SeeD graduation ball and fighting for hot dogs at lunch. In her mind she saw him challenge Seifer to a fight after being called a Chickenwuss, the look in his eyes when he had punched him the other day. It amazed her how in hindsight, she could see clearly what that look had meant, but in the strained atmosphere of the day his emotions had escaped her. She shook her head slowly, as if still unable to comprehend it. He had been jealous. Jealous of her being with Seifer. She couldn't believe she hadn't guessed from his action if not from his expression.
Staring at the ground, the only thing that registered in her mind was a vague sort of surprise that the floor had suddenly turned gray. She followed the gray 'floor' upward into Seifer's anxious face.
Throwing herself in his arms, she started to cry again. She didn't care how he had gotten there, or why. All that mattered was his presence.
They stood like that for a long time, Quistis crying, and Seifer's face etched in a mixture of pain and confusion. They only broke apart when the police officer entered.
Criminey! I killed Zell! O.o;; Did that come out of left field or what? When the author doesn't see it coming, you know there's something wrong...
~Chapter 9~
Zell walked into the room and his heart sunk. He felt it fall through his chest and make its way down, slithering through his body as if propelled by some hidden weight. The stupid thing was that he had suspected it would turn out this way, he had known it with every fiber of his being and he had denied it. [Almost really doesn't count.] Bitter, and suddenly assaulted with a pure and piercing coldness, he took one last glance at the blonde beauty curled up on Seifer's chest. Sighing, he turned and left. He felt overcome by the irony. His temper, a great weapon in battle, had lost him the only one he had ever loved. He wondered vaguely if they would notice his disappearance, engaged in their loving embraces and comforting togetherness. Scoffing at his own stupidity, he wandered seemingly aimlessly, unsure of his destination, unsure how to get there. When and if he made it back to Garden he would be forced to pretend he cared more about hot dogs than her. More about fighting than her. More about missions and curfews and Garden than her. And he found the thought of pretending he cared more about those things, of perhaps having to feign an uncaring facade if Seifer and Quistis came back, ignoring their existence as a couple meaning anything more than a drop in the bucket to him, all that was just too much.
He was too weak. He could never stand that. He noticed he had made it down to the docks now. Zell looked at the water and thought of Quistis's eyes. He saw the sun and saw her golden hair. And he knew he would never be able to pretend. Zell did not pretend, he was brutally honest and sometimes just brutal but he could not hide behind falseness. It seemed fitting then that he should end it the way he had begun it. Drowning in those eyes...
~*~
In the hospital room, Quistis's eyes flew open. Something was wrong that she could not place. Everything should be so right. She was with Seifer, he was okay, and the sun was shining. It nagged her, deep in the dark recesses of her mind, that something was out of place. Rising, she went out to the waiting room and glanced around furtively. ~Hmm...No Zell~ She asked a passing nurse if she had seen a short blonde man leave the hospital earlier. She replied that yes, she had, and it looked as though he were headed toward the dock. She was quite willing to engage Quistis in a conversation about how she supposed he was off to find work, but she politely dodged her and re-entered Seifer's room. Shaking him gently, she smiled down at him with the aura of an angel.
"Seifer..." He grumbled at her, lost in his sleepy world where she was only a hazy spirit.
"Mmm..." She poked him hard, right between the eyes, all pretense of having patience with him gone. "Ow...mmm...what?!"
"I'm gonna go find Zell, okay? I'll be back soon." Scowling at her, he made a poorly aimed grab for her arm, still foggy from sleep.
"Let Zell find himself," he yawned. Quistis smiled and shook her head. The feeling had upped its ante, and she knew she needed to find him. Dropping Seifer a quick peck on the lips, she made her exit.
~*~
Quistis walked hurriedly through the streets, down to the docks. She didn't try to appear casual and she didn't try to repress the growing lump in her stomach. It felt like the whole universe had slipped out of sync, one cog had malfunctioned and the whole machine was going down in ruin.
When she reached the docks, there was no sign of the martial artist. She walked out to the very end of one of the piers to get a better look. She could see every pier, every building, every sailor and dockhand, but no Zell. Despairing, she glanced down at the water when something caught her eye. A flash of something that was definitely not a fish. As she gazed downward, she made out the dark outline of a person. Of Zell.
She threw herself in the water, seized his arm, and pulled him to the surface. He was deadweight, and it took her a long time and a lot of swallowed water to haul him onto the pier. He had picked one of the lesser-frequented areas of the dock; there was no one to assist her that was within earshot.
Staring at his prone form as if pleading with him to wake up, she pressed her head to his chest. She heard nothing. Desperate for him to breathe she held sunglasses in front of his nose. She saw no fog. Performing CPR, rising to the occasion like the SeeD she had been trained to be, she went through the motions of reviving him. She saw nothing for her efforts. Casting every cure spell she had picked up from the hospital in case of another emergency, she still heard not a heart, felt not a breath.
It was then that she noticed what he had clutched in his hand, his fingers unrelaxed around the object, rigid with fear of letting go. It was the peach vest Quistis had thrown out her first day in FH.
Happy, bubbly Quince evaporated as if she were but another chunk of ice in a hot fire. Quistis, and only Quistis, shattered to pieces as she broke down and sobbed for her dead friend. She cried until the tears simply would not come. She cried until she felt hollow and empty and worthless. She cursed herself for not being there sooner. She screamed at Zell for doing this to himself. Most of all she cursed Hyne for allowing this to happen. Either way, she was left with a hollow bubble in her throat, her thin reign on calm pulled to its extent. If onlies would not bring Zell back. She was finished with crying, she had done all she could for that day. So she went into her second reserve. She screamed. In a raw, strangled, inhuman cry that voiced every feeling that words failed to describe, she succeeded in drawing a crowd.
Finally, someone whom Quistis did not recognize took Zell's body away. She tried to voice her hysteria into rational, coherent sentences. She made an attempt to tell them they couldn't take him, not now. All that escaped her lips were the ravings of a mad woman. She followed the police to the station obediently, sat down covered in a warm blanket, and drank the coffee she was given. Quistis went through the motions of living but felt none of it in those first few hours. Gazing at the floor, memories ran through her head. Zell at the orphanage, what little she could piece together. Most of the memories centered around Zell as he was...had been...in the present. She saw him grinning at the SeeD graduation ball and fighting for hot dogs at lunch. In her mind she saw him challenge Seifer to a fight after being called a Chickenwuss, the look in his eyes when he had punched him the other day. It amazed her how in hindsight, she could see clearly what that look had meant, but in the strained atmosphere of the day his emotions had escaped her. She shook her head slowly, as if still unable to comprehend it. He had been jealous. Jealous of her being with Seifer. She couldn't believe she hadn't guessed from his action if not from his expression.
Staring at the ground, the only thing that registered in her mind was a vague sort of surprise that the floor had suddenly turned gray. She followed the gray 'floor' upward into Seifer's anxious face.
Throwing herself in his arms, she started to cry again. She didn't care how he had gotten there, or why. All that mattered was his presence.
They stood like that for a long time, Quistis crying, and Seifer's face etched in a mixture of pain and confusion. They only broke apart when the police officer entered.
Criminey! I killed Zell! O.o;; Did that come out of left field or what? When the author doesn't see it coming, you know there's something wrong...
