Warnings: shonen-ai, OOC, attempted humor, Kenshin trademarked line stealing, pointless Dragonball references
Disclaimer: Most things belong to Clamp, Hello Kitty belongs to Sanrio
Apologies to: Neil Gaiman, Nobuhiro Watsuki, Akira Toriyama and Helen Fielding
X: CHIBIFICATION
by Beth renfri@astercity.net
An hour later, the assembled chibi Dragons were lounging around the City Hall's basement, debating over the next course of action. Yuzuriha and Satsuki were stuffing themselves with the just-delivered ice-cream, with the computer girl deliberating out loud the compared evilness level of the Dark Kamui and Bill Gates. The former gave up on chasing Kamui around and was watching Death, who'd enlisted Kakyou's help in trying to contact her brother Dream.
Meanwhile, Kamui had taken refuge beside Subaru, but was now regretting the decision. They sat in an armchair that could host one full-sized person or two chibis, but with the Sakurazukamori on Kamui's other side it was feeling kind of cramped. Kamui leaned forward and stared morosely at the floor, pointedly ignoring the things Seishirou was whispering in his prey's ear. And trying not to blush too much.
"Alright then," Yuuto said. "Does anybody know what Sanrio's been doing lately?"
"Wait a minute," Seiichiro said. "I remember I got an assignment to write about their newest line of merchandise -- new alarm clocks."
"They suck," Kamui said. "I got one from Keiichi."
"Who's Keiichi?" Fuuma asked. "Someone I should know about?" His eyes glinted in a particularly evil way.
"You're the one to talk," Kusanagi noted. "You got one from the Sakurazukamori yourself."
Subaru turned to Seishirou and glared.
"Uh, Subaru-kun..." The assassin scooted back in the seat. "I can explain-"
He didn't get a chance to. Before he could say another word, the Sumeragi hit him over the head with a large mallet.
Seishirou fell down from the chair with a large bump on the head and swirls in his eyes. "Oroooo..." he moaned.
The others chose not to comment.
"Wait a minute," Sorata said. "Both leaders of the Dragons have Hello Kitty alarm clocks? When did you get them?"
"Yesterday," Kamui said.
"Same here," Fuuma added. He threw a long look at the Sakurazukamori. "Just before we..."
Kamui grabbed at Subaru's mallet and hit his twin star right in the middle of the broom haircut.
"Can you bring them here?" Arashi asked, pointedly ignoring Fuuma's outraged squeak. "I might be able to sense something."
--- * ---
Surprisingly, Kamui's trip (via rooftops) to Clamp Campus took exactly the same amount of time as Fuuma's dig through the mess that passed as his bedroom. It might have been because the latter's eyes kept swirling. Anyway, once the clocks were put side-by-side in the middle of the floor, they looked totally identical. Both were figures of Hello Kitty, about five inches tall, with the face of the clock built into the torso. Everybody moved away from them, just in case.
"Can you feel anything, Miss?" Sorata asked eagerly. "Or maybe a kiss can help you concentrate...?"
Arashi eyed the Sumeragi's mallet with longing, but the onmyouji shook his head. *Chi no Ryu only,* he mouthed.
She sighed and looked at the cute alarm clocks through the circle of her hands.
"They're practically emanating cuteness!" she gasped. "I've never seen influence so strong... it's like they've concentrated the cute factor of the entire Hello Kitty merchandise in two objects!"
"So there we have it," Seiichiro intoned solemnly. "The two clocks connected with the bond between Kamui and /Kamui/ as a conduit. But the emanation started a chain reaction... turning all those whose Destiny was Foreordained into chibis."
"Why are you doing the recap?" Yuuto asked.
"I'm the most scholarly type."
"What do we do now??" Karen wailed. "I don't want to spend the rest of my life tending to clients with a Lolita complex!!"
"What's a Lolita complex?" Nataku asked.
"It's what Kusanagi and Yuuto have," Seiichiro explained eagerly.
"I wonder what they'd say about Seishirou-san," Subaru muttered.
"That's shotacon," Arashi said absent-mindedly.
Everybody sweatdropped.
Death clapped her little hands. She drew a deep breath.
"EEEEENOOOOUGH!!!!!"
The assembled Seals and Dragons froze.
"Now, that's better, isn't it?" Death grinned.
"I've got an idea," Seishirou offered.
"Go ahead."
The Sakurazukamori grinned. He raised a hand and summoned his shikigami, then sent it flying at the clocks. It tore through the air, shrieking, its sharp talons glinting in the dim light. It struck with a loud bang, bathing the room in white light.
The floor tiles shattered, but the Hello Kitty figures remained untouched. Seishirou fell over.
The Dragons stood motionless for a while, then Kamui shrugged.
"I can try something I've seen in a movie," he said.
"Can't hurt," Kusanagi muttered.
"Just don't blow the place up," Yuuto admonished.
"I'll try," Kamui promised. Under his breath he muttered something that sounded like "If it worked for Goku..."
He planted his feet firmly on the ground, then put his hands at his right hip, palms at right angles to each other. "Kaa... meh...."
White energy started to gather between his hands in a ball.
Yuzuriha leaned over to Satsuki and whispered, "Is he doing what I think he's doing?"
"I'm afraid so," Satsuki whispered back.
"Ha... meh..." Kamui called. The ball crackled with energy.
With lightning-quick speed the Seal put his hands forward with the last syllable of the spell. "HA!"
The energy shot towards the clocks and-
-impacted.
When the smoke cleared, the center of the room was a large crater, filled halfway with battered Hello Kitty dolls. There was no sign left of the clocks.
And everybody was back to normal size.
"Yatta!!!" Sorata yelled. "I've got my handsome looks back!"
Death sighed with relief. "It was fun guys, but gotta run!" She disappeared.
"We should find out who made those clocks and got them to Kamui and Fuuma," Arashi said.
"Why?" Fuuma asked. "It's over, and that's what's important." He turned to Seishirou. "How about..."
But the Sakurazukamori was busy stalking his prey. "You promised, Subaru-kun," he purred.
"Eep." The Sumeragi was evidently having second thoughts. "You said just ice-cream," he reminded weakly.
"I didn't say where..."
Appropriately romantic music floated in the air, and sparkly pink lights surrounded the two as Seishirou took Subaru's hand.
"Let me take you away from all this," he said solemnly.
They disappeared in a swirl of sakura petals.
Fuuma drooped. "*I* wanted to go with him for ice-cream..."
"He's a pervert two-faced bastard anyway," Kamui noted. "You don't need him."
"You're right," Fuuma grinned. "Not when I can have a delightful young thing like yourself for company..."
Kamui started to say something about his heart belonging to Subaru, then thought better of it. "You're paying," he said instead.
--- * ---
Some minutes later Sorata looked around the room. Satsuki was explaining dynamic html to Yuzuriha, pulling up examples on Beast's screen. Nataku was deep in conversation with Arashi and Karen, apparently about "women stuff". The name "Bridget Jones" drifted to him, and he could see books being exchanged. Kusanagi, Yuuto and Seiichiro had already left, trying to salvage as much as possible from the working day.
He did the only thing left to salvage his honor as a Seal and the Star of Koya. He stretched out and fell asleep next to Kakyou.
--- * ---
A month from that fateful day, a figure stood in front of the dreamgazer below the Diet Building. It reached for Hinoto's hand and together they looked at the present.
In a room at Clamp Campus, Kamui attempted to study. This was rather hindered by Sorata being ecstatic about his upcoming cinema date with Arashi (to see something called "Bridget Jones's Diary") and Fuuma playing with his hair.
In an apartment in the suburbs, Seiichiro played with his daughter while his wife made dinner.
In an ice-cream parlor, Kusanagi and Yuuto gazed dreamily at their girlfriends pigging out on sundaes. Yuzuriha was wearing a Linux t-shirt.
In a darkened cinema Nataku looked with rapt attention at the adventures of Snow White and trembled when the Evil Queen came on screen. Karen smiled indulgently at the bioroid; she'd always wanted a child of her own.
Finally, the view changed to an apartment in Shinjuku. Two figures lounged on the balcony.
"Seishirou-san, you still haven't told me what you said to the waitress in New Orleans. She gave me the weirdest look."
"Subaru-kun?"
"Yes?"
"Shut up."
"Make me."
"Like this?"
"Mmmmm..."
Hinoto dropped the vision, blushing slightly. She turned her head to her visitor.
//You did it. The future has been changed. I no longer dream my dream.//
He smiled. "I knew that being chibi for a while would let them get all this off their chests."
//I suppose you will sell Sanrio now?//
"I don't think so. Akira's having way too much fun designing new merchandise." Nokoru laughed. "His latest idea are Chi no Ryu UFO Catcher dolls. Still.."
He snapped open a fan.
It read, "THE END"
Beth: *phew* now that's over with...
Hello Kitty clock: Tratatatata!!! Good morning!!!!
Beth: NOOOoooOOOOooo!!!!! *turns chibi* Here we go again...
Disclaimer: Most things belong to Clamp, Hello Kitty belongs to Sanrio
Apologies to: Neil Gaiman, Nobuhiro Watsuki, Akira Toriyama and Helen Fielding
X: CHIBIFICATION
by Beth renfri@astercity.net
An hour later, the assembled chibi Dragons were lounging around the City Hall's basement, debating over the next course of action. Yuzuriha and Satsuki were stuffing themselves with the just-delivered ice-cream, with the computer girl deliberating out loud the compared evilness level of the Dark Kamui and Bill Gates. The former gave up on chasing Kamui around and was watching Death, who'd enlisted Kakyou's help in trying to contact her brother Dream.
Meanwhile, Kamui had taken refuge beside Subaru, but was now regretting the decision. They sat in an armchair that could host one full-sized person or two chibis, but with the Sakurazukamori on Kamui's other side it was feeling kind of cramped. Kamui leaned forward and stared morosely at the floor, pointedly ignoring the things Seishirou was whispering in his prey's ear. And trying not to blush too much.
"Alright then," Yuuto said. "Does anybody know what Sanrio's been doing lately?"
"Wait a minute," Seiichiro said. "I remember I got an assignment to write about their newest line of merchandise -- new alarm clocks."
"They suck," Kamui said. "I got one from Keiichi."
"Who's Keiichi?" Fuuma asked. "Someone I should know about?" His eyes glinted in a particularly evil way.
"You're the one to talk," Kusanagi noted. "You got one from the Sakurazukamori yourself."
Subaru turned to Seishirou and glared.
"Uh, Subaru-kun..." The assassin scooted back in the seat. "I can explain-"
He didn't get a chance to. Before he could say another word, the Sumeragi hit him over the head with a large mallet.
Seishirou fell down from the chair with a large bump on the head and swirls in his eyes. "Oroooo..." he moaned.
The others chose not to comment.
"Wait a minute," Sorata said. "Both leaders of the Dragons have Hello Kitty alarm clocks? When did you get them?"
"Yesterday," Kamui said.
"Same here," Fuuma added. He threw a long look at the Sakurazukamori. "Just before we..."
Kamui grabbed at Subaru's mallet and hit his twin star right in the middle of the broom haircut.
"Can you bring them here?" Arashi asked, pointedly ignoring Fuuma's outraged squeak. "I might be able to sense something."
--- * ---
Surprisingly, Kamui's trip (via rooftops) to Clamp Campus took exactly the same amount of time as Fuuma's dig through the mess that passed as his bedroom. It might have been because the latter's eyes kept swirling. Anyway, once the clocks were put side-by-side in the middle of the floor, they looked totally identical. Both were figures of Hello Kitty, about five inches tall, with the face of the clock built into the torso. Everybody moved away from them, just in case.
"Can you feel anything, Miss?" Sorata asked eagerly. "Or maybe a kiss can help you concentrate...?"
Arashi eyed the Sumeragi's mallet with longing, but the onmyouji shook his head. *Chi no Ryu only,* he mouthed.
She sighed and looked at the cute alarm clocks through the circle of her hands.
"They're practically emanating cuteness!" she gasped. "I've never seen influence so strong... it's like they've concentrated the cute factor of the entire Hello Kitty merchandise in two objects!"
"So there we have it," Seiichiro intoned solemnly. "The two clocks connected with the bond between Kamui and /Kamui/ as a conduit. But the emanation started a chain reaction... turning all those whose Destiny was Foreordained into chibis."
"Why are you doing the recap?" Yuuto asked.
"I'm the most scholarly type."
"What do we do now??" Karen wailed. "I don't want to spend the rest of my life tending to clients with a Lolita complex!!"
"What's a Lolita complex?" Nataku asked.
"It's what Kusanagi and Yuuto have," Seiichiro explained eagerly.
"I wonder what they'd say about Seishirou-san," Subaru muttered.
"That's shotacon," Arashi said absent-mindedly.
Everybody sweatdropped.
Death clapped her little hands. She drew a deep breath.
"EEEEENOOOOUGH!!!!!"
The assembled Seals and Dragons froze.
"Now, that's better, isn't it?" Death grinned.
"I've got an idea," Seishirou offered.
"Go ahead."
The Sakurazukamori grinned. He raised a hand and summoned his shikigami, then sent it flying at the clocks. It tore through the air, shrieking, its sharp talons glinting in the dim light. It struck with a loud bang, bathing the room in white light.
The floor tiles shattered, but the Hello Kitty figures remained untouched. Seishirou fell over.
The Dragons stood motionless for a while, then Kamui shrugged.
"I can try something I've seen in a movie," he said.
"Can't hurt," Kusanagi muttered.
"Just don't blow the place up," Yuuto admonished.
"I'll try," Kamui promised. Under his breath he muttered something that sounded like "If it worked for Goku..."
He planted his feet firmly on the ground, then put his hands at his right hip, palms at right angles to each other. "Kaa... meh...."
White energy started to gather between his hands in a ball.
Yuzuriha leaned over to Satsuki and whispered, "Is he doing what I think he's doing?"
"I'm afraid so," Satsuki whispered back.
"Ha... meh..." Kamui called. The ball crackled with energy.
With lightning-quick speed the Seal put his hands forward with the last syllable of the spell. "HA!"
The energy shot towards the clocks and-
-impacted.
When the smoke cleared, the center of the room was a large crater, filled halfway with battered Hello Kitty dolls. There was no sign left of the clocks.
And everybody was back to normal size.
"Yatta!!!" Sorata yelled. "I've got my handsome looks back!"
Death sighed with relief. "It was fun guys, but gotta run!" She disappeared.
"We should find out who made those clocks and got them to Kamui and Fuuma," Arashi said.
"Why?" Fuuma asked. "It's over, and that's what's important." He turned to Seishirou. "How about..."
But the Sakurazukamori was busy stalking his prey. "You promised, Subaru-kun," he purred.
"Eep." The Sumeragi was evidently having second thoughts. "You said just ice-cream," he reminded weakly.
"I didn't say where..."
Appropriately romantic music floated in the air, and sparkly pink lights surrounded the two as Seishirou took Subaru's hand.
"Let me take you away from all this," he said solemnly.
They disappeared in a swirl of sakura petals.
Fuuma drooped. "*I* wanted to go with him for ice-cream..."
"He's a pervert two-faced bastard anyway," Kamui noted. "You don't need him."
"You're right," Fuuma grinned. "Not when I can have a delightful young thing like yourself for company..."
Kamui started to say something about his heart belonging to Subaru, then thought better of it. "You're paying," he said instead.
--- * ---
Some minutes later Sorata looked around the room. Satsuki was explaining dynamic html to Yuzuriha, pulling up examples on Beast's screen. Nataku was deep in conversation with Arashi and Karen, apparently about "women stuff". The name "Bridget Jones" drifted to him, and he could see books being exchanged. Kusanagi, Yuuto and Seiichiro had already left, trying to salvage as much as possible from the working day.
He did the only thing left to salvage his honor as a Seal and the Star of Koya. He stretched out and fell asleep next to Kakyou.
--- * ---
A month from that fateful day, a figure stood in front of the dreamgazer below the Diet Building. It reached for Hinoto's hand and together they looked at the present.
In a room at Clamp Campus, Kamui attempted to study. This was rather hindered by Sorata being ecstatic about his upcoming cinema date with Arashi (to see something called "Bridget Jones's Diary") and Fuuma playing with his hair.
In an apartment in the suburbs, Seiichiro played with his daughter while his wife made dinner.
In an ice-cream parlor, Kusanagi and Yuuto gazed dreamily at their girlfriends pigging out on sundaes. Yuzuriha was wearing a Linux t-shirt.
In a darkened cinema Nataku looked with rapt attention at the adventures of Snow White and trembled when the Evil Queen came on screen. Karen smiled indulgently at the bioroid; she'd always wanted a child of her own.
Finally, the view changed to an apartment in Shinjuku. Two figures lounged on the balcony.
"Seishirou-san, you still haven't told me what you said to the waitress in New Orleans. She gave me the weirdest look."
"Subaru-kun?"
"Yes?"
"Shut up."
"Make me."
"Like this?"
"Mmmmm..."
Hinoto dropped the vision, blushing slightly. She turned her head to her visitor.
//You did it. The future has been changed. I no longer dream my dream.//
He smiled. "I knew that being chibi for a while would let them get all this off their chests."
//I suppose you will sell Sanrio now?//
"I don't think so. Akira's having way too much fun designing new merchandise." Nokoru laughed. "His latest idea are Chi no Ryu UFO Catcher dolls. Still.."
He snapped open a fan.
It read, "THE END"
Beth: *phew* now that's over with...
Hello Kitty clock: Tratatatata!!! Good morning!!!!
Beth: NOOOoooOOOOooo!!!!! *turns chibi* Here we go again...
