Broken Criminal
By: Jessica R Vance
A/N: Thanks SO SO much to Becky for helping me see Macavity in this light! You're the best, Bec! ::blows kisses::
-----
She woke dazedly, her crystalline blue eyes confused. "Good morning, jewel," I purred. She looked around, taking in her surroundings, and her eyes met mine.
"You..." she moaned, turning away.
"Yes, my darling. All your warnings to the others were for naught, weren't they? It was you I wanted all along," I traced her jawline gently.
"Munkustrap will..." she murmured, trying to completely awaken herself.
"Will what? Come for you?" I laughed softly, "A beautiful dream, though it will never be realized. By the time your precious *Munkustrap*," I sneered his name, "realizes you are gone, you and I will be far away... like we always should have been."
Tears were running down her cheeks. "Shhhhhh," I tried to silence her, "It won't be as bad as you think, love... it won't..." But she wouldn't listen to me.
"Son of a bitch," she hissed at me, "Why can't you just leave me alone!?"
Her words ignited an old fire hidden deep inside me. "You think I enjoy kidnapping you!? I'd much rather have you come to me of your own free will. But I don't suppose you'd believe that, would you? Is it so hard to believe that I might actually love you?"
She was silent. Then, "... If you loved me, you'd want me to be happy."
"Ha! Another fairy tale. It's all very well and good to believe that, but the truth of it is, love is greedy. Selfish. It's nice to think that if you love someone, you're all for them, that you want only the best for them. But face the facts. If you love someone, you want them. No matter what." I scratched at the dirt roughly, "No matter what it takes."
Her maddening silence resumed. We stayed there for a long time, she, too weak to move, and I, waiting for her to try to escape. Just like last time.
"What did you do with Munkustrap?" she asked, her voice quivering.
I sighed. "My dear... you, you always assume! I did nothing with him. He's fast asleep, dreaming of you, no doubt. It's very late. They're all sleeping. None of them know you're gone. At least, not yet."
She sobbed. I could tell she was speaking to me, insulting me, but I only caught a few words. "You... beast..."
"A beast? ME!? You want to talk about beasts, my precious Demeter, I'll talk about beasts with you. Let's discuss your current mate, shall we? What kind of beast does it take to steal a queen away from the tom she's with, simply because of his own lust!? The worst kind of beast, my lovely, is a jealous one."
"Oh, and I suppose you aren't jealous at all? That's why you've stolen me away here? You're doing the very thing you're accusing Munkustrap of!" she cried. The words hit me like a blow.
"I HAD YOU FIRST!"
The silence was deafening. Her eyes and face were soaked from the tears she was trying to hold in. I realized that in my rage I had risen, and was standing over her like a murderer. I fell to my knees.
"Demeter," I said, feeling tears in my own voice, "I'm sorry. I really am." I backed away from her. "I... I do love you. I truly do. You were mine, and I needed you, I still do. But... I'm afraid..." I choked a little, "I'm afraid that... you're right. I am a beast." I sighed defeatedly. "And... I'll probably regret what I'm about to do for the rest of my life." Fear rang through her eyes. "No! No, I'm not going to hurt you. For once..." I stared at the ground, "For once, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm... I'm going to let you go." I closed my eyes, waiting for her to contradict me, to not believe me. She never believed me.
"Macavity." She spoke my name for the first time that night. I opened my eyes and gazed at her exquisite face. She was so achingly beautiful.
"My love?"
She sat up and cast her eyes downward. "I'm sorry."
My eyes widened. "Sorry? For what, cherub?"
"I'm sorry that I can't love you."
I nearly cried out.
"I almost want to believe that you love me. I really do. But... I don't think you understand love." Anger glinted in my eyes and she held up a hand to stop my rage. "I believe that you feel it, and that you know *of* it, but... you just can't keep it. You're really a good person, Macavity, deep down inside. Everyone has demons to work out. And I wish that I could love you and that I could help you do that, but I just can't. I love Munkustrap."
I felt a knife ripping through my heart. "Demi..."
"Shhh," she silenced me by putting a finger to my lips. I grabbed her hand, never wanting to let go of her. "You'll live, Macavity," she said softly, slowly drawing her hand away, "You'll live." She leaned forward and slowly kissed me, a long, sad kiss, more from pity than love. I sobbed. "Goodbye."
I fell to the ground, cries ripping through me. I felt her steal away into the night, and I knew that I'd never see her again.
~Fin~
By: Jessica R Vance
A/N: Thanks SO SO much to Becky for helping me see Macavity in this light! You're the best, Bec! ::blows kisses::
-----
She woke dazedly, her crystalline blue eyes confused. "Good morning, jewel," I purred. She looked around, taking in her surroundings, and her eyes met mine.
"You..." she moaned, turning away.
"Yes, my darling. All your warnings to the others were for naught, weren't they? It was you I wanted all along," I traced her jawline gently.
"Munkustrap will..." she murmured, trying to completely awaken herself.
"Will what? Come for you?" I laughed softly, "A beautiful dream, though it will never be realized. By the time your precious *Munkustrap*," I sneered his name, "realizes you are gone, you and I will be far away... like we always should have been."
Tears were running down her cheeks. "Shhhhhh," I tried to silence her, "It won't be as bad as you think, love... it won't..." But she wouldn't listen to me.
"Son of a bitch," she hissed at me, "Why can't you just leave me alone!?"
Her words ignited an old fire hidden deep inside me. "You think I enjoy kidnapping you!? I'd much rather have you come to me of your own free will. But I don't suppose you'd believe that, would you? Is it so hard to believe that I might actually love you?"
She was silent. Then, "... If you loved me, you'd want me to be happy."
"Ha! Another fairy tale. It's all very well and good to believe that, but the truth of it is, love is greedy. Selfish. It's nice to think that if you love someone, you're all for them, that you want only the best for them. But face the facts. If you love someone, you want them. No matter what." I scratched at the dirt roughly, "No matter what it takes."
Her maddening silence resumed. We stayed there for a long time, she, too weak to move, and I, waiting for her to try to escape. Just like last time.
"What did you do with Munkustrap?" she asked, her voice quivering.
I sighed. "My dear... you, you always assume! I did nothing with him. He's fast asleep, dreaming of you, no doubt. It's very late. They're all sleeping. None of them know you're gone. At least, not yet."
She sobbed. I could tell she was speaking to me, insulting me, but I only caught a few words. "You... beast..."
"A beast? ME!? You want to talk about beasts, my precious Demeter, I'll talk about beasts with you. Let's discuss your current mate, shall we? What kind of beast does it take to steal a queen away from the tom she's with, simply because of his own lust!? The worst kind of beast, my lovely, is a jealous one."
"Oh, and I suppose you aren't jealous at all? That's why you've stolen me away here? You're doing the very thing you're accusing Munkustrap of!" she cried. The words hit me like a blow.
"I HAD YOU FIRST!"
The silence was deafening. Her eyes and face were soaked from the tears she was trying to hold in. I realized that in my rage I had risen, and was standing over her like a murderer. I fell to my knees.
"Demeter," I said, feeling tears in my own voice, "I'm sorry. I really am." I backed away from her. "I... I do love you. I truly do. You were mine, and I needed you, I still do. But... I'm afraid..." I choked a little, "I'm afraid that... you're right. I am a beast." I sighed defeatedly. "And... I'll probably regret what I'm about to do for the rest of my life." Fear rang through her eyes. "No! No, I'm not going to hurt you. For once..." I stared at the ground, "For once, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm... I'm going to let you go." I closed my eyes, waiting for her to contradict me, to not believe me. She never believed me.
"Macavity." She spoke my name for the first time that night. I opened my eyes and gazed at her exquisite face. She was so achingly beautiful.
"My love?"
She sat up and cast her eyes downward. "I'm sorry."
My eyes widened. "Sorry? For what, cherub?"
"I'm sorry that I can't love you."
I nearly cried out.
"I almost want to believe that you love me. I really do. But... I don't think you understand love." Anger glinted in my eyes and she held up a hand to stop my rage. "I believe that you feel it, and that you know *of* it, but... you just can't keep it. You're really a good person, Macavity, deep down inside. Everyone has demons to work out. And I wish that I could love you and that I could help you do that, but I just can't. I love Munkustrap."
I felt a knife ripping through my heart. "Demi..."
"Shhh," she silenced me by putting a finger to my lips. I grabbed her hand, never wanting to let go of her. "You'll live, Macavity," she said softly, slowly drawing her hand away, "You'll live." She leaned forward and slowly kissed me, a long, sad kiss, more from pity than love. I sobbed. "Goodbye."
I fell to the ground, cries ripping through me. I felt her steal away into the night, and I knew that I'd never see her again.
~Fin~
