Chapter Seven: Can You See My Heart?

Schuldich froze as Schatten withdrew from his mind. The words flew through him, turned his blood cold, echoing in his soul. They had been Ran's words.... Ran's thoughts....
"Until I met Ran," Schatten whispered, drawing back from Schuldich and crossing his arms, "I never thought I'd hear an angel say that he feels as if he isn't good enough to be loved by a whore."
For a moment, Schuldich stared at him, a numb feeling coursing through his veins and he heard those words come from his own lips. Now, at this time, it didn't matter if it was his double's mind or not.... That was himself, speaking. Those were his own eyes, looking at him with such hatred. For once, he was clueless as to how to react. Finally, however, he managed to burst out, "I was born a fucking tramp. Do you think those habits are easy to break...?" He turned away, trembling as his eyes began to sting, slowly becoming moist- something that hadn't happened in quite a long time. "I'm trying, trying hard, to do everything I can for him. Everything...."
"Well, you should try harder," Schatten growled, his cold eyes fixed on his reflection. "Maybe you should just stop and think for a moment. Maybe you should just-" He stopped short, eyes narrowing slightly. A sound.... Soft, quiet, barely audible in this odd place between the realities. But, he could hear it.... A voice, calling out his name.
"Schatten.... Schatten, are you awake?" It was Yukito's voice, calling out to him.... Sighing, he cursed under his breath. Not now....
"What the hell is that?" Schuldich muttered, looking upwards toward the 'sky'. "It sounds like Nagi-"
"It's Yuki," Schatten snapped, glaring at him. "And I really must be going. After all, there's no reason for me to be here wasting my time with you, is there?" Taking a breath, he glanced away, ignoring the look that Schuldich shot at him. "Take care of Ran," he muttered. "Wake him up in here before you wake him in your world. And don't forget what he said. Don't -ever- forget what he said...." Without another word, he closed his eyes and disappeared from Ran's mind, leaving behind his sleeping lover and a very frustrated, very angry telepath.

The night was cold, though he was in the arms of another. Through the window, the moon shone, its honey-pale light kissing the faces of the couple who lay upon the bed in a room with locked doors... Doors which really needn't be locked, because any attacker would find himself in quite a trap upon entering....
Slowly, carefully, Schuldich withdrew from Ran's mind, cringing as the strain on his own mind hit him. He felt as if he had his head in a vice.... Shifting, he uttered a soft groan, closing his eyes and burying his face in his soft pillow. Damn it, he thought. Damn it all to hell....
Slowly, as the pain dulled to a slow throbbing, he opened his eyes and gazed at the redhead beside him. Amethyst eyes shut tight and a soft smile on his face, Ran looked so peaceful that it was rather difficult to believe that any of the things that had happened while he had been sleeping had actually taken place. Gently, carefully, Schuldich reached out to brush a strand of silken, blood-coloured hair from his lover's cheek, blinking quickly as he felt his eyes begin to sting, hot tears welling up in them. "Not good enough," he whispered, his voice holding something of an intense sadness. "I'll never be good enough for you, love...."
Quickly, he pulled back his hand as his lover stirred. He closed his eyes and feigned sleep, forcing his breathing to become slow and even. He could feel Ran shifting about, waking....
//Schatten?// his lover murmured mentally as his mind made its way back from the dream world. //Schatten, where are you...?//
"Shh, liebe," Schuldich found himself murmuring as he slipped his arms around Ran, his voice soft and soothing. "I'm here...." As the redhead shifted close to him, burying his face in his long mane, Schuldich found himself sighing and cursing Schatten. If there was any way, he wished he could kill his double.... Wished for it, but knew that he would never go through with it. Never.... For Ran. For Ran.... The angel that he wasn't good enough for. The angel that he only held because of the shadow-lover which had invaded their lives and brought them together....
"I love you, Schatten," Ran whispered, lingering on the edge of sleep. "Love you...."
Those whispered words ripped at the telepath's heart, tearing it in two.... "Nien, liebe," he breathed as, slowly, the tears he had been holding back began to roll down his cheeks. He could only thank whichever god was watching over them right now that Ran wasn't awake to see him.... "I'm not Schatten. I'm Schuldich..."
"...Schuldich...," Ran murmured, his lips barely moving as he said his lover's name. "Schuldich...."
"Yes, sweet. Schuldich...," murmured the telepath. "Forever guilty.... That's what I am."