Standard disclaimer: I don't own Squall and co. and never will. Enjoy!

Squall stepped out of the Ragnarok, far behind Zell who was hurrying to the Garden as fast he could while carrying Rinoa. Right beside Zell was Selphie who was equally if not more anxious than Zell. Already there were SeeDs approaching the Ragnarok, asking a hundred and one questions. But Squall saw no sign of Quistis anywhere. "Where could she be?" He wondered in an abstract fashion. Behind him, Irvine was busy untying the two pilots and delivering them into the care of the SeeD cadets. They were deeply offended to say the least.

Walking slowly towards the Garden, Squall felt his fingers freezing again. Strange how his fingers never stayed warm, even underneath his leather gloves, it was always so icy cold. "Whatever. . ." he brushed away his discomfort. Shifting his LionHeart a bit more so that it rested comfortably on his hip, he started walking woodenly towards the Garden, which was parked outside Balamb. A few moments later, Squall heard soft footsteps behind him. Without turning around, Squall knew that it was Quistis.

"Squall, catch." Quistis whispered as she threw Griever into the air in his direction. Turning around, Squall caught the ring in one single fluid move. His eyes were flat. Barely flicking a glance at the ring in his palm, Squall looked at Quistis, his eyes boring holes into her. Quistis smiled sadly; she had finally realized the truth: she can never make him smile.

"Squall, the question you asked me last night. . .it was never meant for me." Quistis choked out that sentence before she broke into a run towards the Garden. Quistis ran past him, her long golden locks flying behind her, eyes shining with unshed tears but Squall's eyes were emotionless. He just stood there watching her disappear through the Garden gates before resuming his journey. Strange, he felt nothing more than a pang of guilt. Guilt for making her goes through all this. Shaking his head briefly, Squall continued walking again. He felt.. . numb, comfortingly numb.

From behind, he felt Irvine catching up with him, but he stoically ignored Irvine's presence. Without much difficulty, Irvine was soon walking side by side with Squall in silence until Irvine decided to break it.

"Quisty is strong, Squall. Don'tcha worry about her." Irvine reassured Squall, glancing at his stone set features and dead grayish-blue eyes. Comfortingly, Irvine placed a hand on Squall's stiff shoulder.

Without missing a single pace, Squall brushed Irvine's hand away and said, "Whatever." Irvine just watched Squall's back for a while before letting out a sigh and resuming his own pace. From afar, they saw Nida running towards them but both of them ignored Nida's presence until he screeched to a brake right in front of them.

"Commander Leonhart, Headmistress Xu demands to know what is going on here! She wants someone up in her office now!" Nida ordered in between gulps of fresh air. Frowning, Squall felt reluctant to go to Xu's office. Hell, he did not even know what he wanted to do now, or what he wanted to believe in. Neither had he any idea on what he should feel now.

As if sensing his dilemma, Irvine offered to go instead and ran towards the Garden leaving Nida and Squall alone. Clearing his throat delicately, Nida finally asked the one question that he was dying to say out. "Squall, where's Quistis?"

Coldly, Squall showed him the ring in his icy palm. Seeing it, Nida realized the meaning of the gesture and without missing a beat, he also started running towards the Garden, or more precisely, towards the Instructor's Dormitories.

==

Chapter 14

Quistis ran all the way to her room, ignoring everybody who was staring openly at her plight. It had seemed as if she had to run though several extra hallways before she could reach the sanctuary of her own room. Quistis held back her tears as tightly as she could, but it was threatening to fall. Finally, she reached her own room, rushed into it and locked the door. Leaning against the metal door, Quistis finally let her guard down and tears started streaming down her cheeks. Sliding down to the floor, Quistis brought her legs up and tucked her knees under her chin. Sobbing Quistis cried. It had been a long time since the last time she had cried and she had forgotten how good it feels to do so. Sobbing harshly, Quistis let out all her pain in the form tears. She did not know how long she sat there and cry, all she knew was that she had cried. She cried for a love that was never meant for her, cried for a love that she had wished to be hers, cried for all that could never be. Quistis cried.

As her tears started to slow down, she felt a weight leaning against the door from the other side. Someone was also sitting down on the floor and somehow, that pressure she felt from her side of her door was very comforting. She was not alone.

"Quistis. . .are you all right?" She heard Nida's voice from the other side; so it was he. Quistis smiled weakly.

"I'm fine." She tried to sound strong but her voice came out hoarse and rough. Immediately, she started bursting out into tears once more. Hearing her crying made Nida's heart ache. Hyne, how he wanted to bring Quistis into his arms and comfort her. Shaking his head, Nida forced himself to own up to reality: she does not love him.

"No, I was not fine. Who am I lying to?" Quistis thought sadly, one half of her own mind laughing at her pathetic behaviour. Half laughing, half sobbing, Quistis asked Nida a familiar question, "Nida, am I alone again? Just when I thought. . ."

"No! Quistis, you are never alone." Nida's voice was firm and steely; hearing that made Quistis felt comforted. "You will never be alone; you still have your friends. Irvine, Zell, Selphie and . . .me. . . .I will always be here for you. Always." Nida promised, his voice getting softer towards the end, but despite the decreasing volume, Quistis thought that she heard another deeper emotion beneath those words. "Could it be?" Quistis mind raced with that thought.

Frantically, she got up and scrabbled at the door lock. But when Quistis had finally opened the door, Nida had already left; there was only a white handkerchief on the floor, folded neatly and trimmed at the edges with blue threads. Trembling, Quistis picked it the handkerchief and held it in the palm of her hand.

==

"Squall, I'm afraid she's dying. Rinoa is all right, but she has no will to live. . . She is forcing her own body to stop functioning. She is dying." Dr. Kadowaki's words had imprinted itself in his mind, replaying over and over again like a broken recorder. Leaning against the door, Squall saw Rinoa lying so still on the bed. All around her were those long nasty tubes invading her body, giving her the nourishment she need and bringing away the toxic wastes her body was producing. She looked so tiny, so vulnerable in that ugly hospital gown. Squall remembered how much she hated wearing those gowns.

Without realizing what he was doing, Squall had started walking out of the infirmary and towards his room. Outside the infirmary, Angelo watched him pass by without a shred of interest. Selphie saw him leave the Infirmary and had wanted to bring him back, but Zell stopped her. Watching his back, Selphie cried and wished that Irvine was with her right now. Breaking down, Selphie hugged Zell who was also close to tears. All the while Squall kept on walking in a daze further and further away from the Infirmary.

When he reached his room, Squall dropped his LionHeart onto the floor carelessly. Kneeling beside his bed, he started dragging out a metal box from underneath his bed. Inside it were Rinoa's favourite possessions. He had kept her stuff inside it when she left, but he had never opened it at all; it was too painful.

Flipping back the cover, Squall took note of the female SeeD uniform inside, the pajamas with bears printed all over it, the teddy bear and even her toothbrush. After Ultimecia's defeat and their return to the Garden, Rinoa slept in the company of nightmares. Almost every night, she would creep out of her bed and together with Angelo travel to his room. Shivering in fright, she would crawl into his bed and into his hug until all her fears melted away. Together, they will sleep side by side almost every night with Angelo lying on the floor beside his bed. At first, Squall was not used to someone sharing his bed space but over time, her presence comforted him and they will fall asleep in each other's embrace. They had to be careful though for the Garden had strict rules about room-hopping and being caught will mean some nasty punishment. But, after some time, it became a second habit to be near one and another until the day when Rinoa became a SeeD and time became a cruel master.

Squall remembered that Rinoa always sleep on her side always and after some time, even Squall started sleeping in that position. There were so many memories in this room. Smiling softly, Squall remembered the times he had to wake Rinoa up early. It was a hard mission since Rinoa loves to sleep.

"Rinoa, get up. It's 7 o'clock already." The alarm had rung twice and Squall had shut it off, feeling half awake. As always, he had to climb past Rinoa's sleeping form to reach the toilet since he sleeps in the inside and Rinoa sleep at the outside of the bed. By the time Squall was ready, Rinoa was still asleep. No amount of cajoling could wake up her up until Squall reminded her that if she was late for training, she would have to run 5 extra rounds around the Garden. Threatening her was definitely more effective than setting 3 alarm clocks. But now. . . will she even respond to that?

Brokenly, Squall took Rinoa's favourite set of pajamas in his hand and started heading back to the infirmary. Hesitantly he went up to Dr Kadowaki and handed her the pajamas. "Dr Kadowaki, could you help her change? She. . .Rinoa hates hospital gown." Squall's voice was detached and cold but even so his gesture touched Dr Kadowaki's heart. Numbly, she agreed and disappeared into Rinoa's ward.

"Squall. . .Rinoa's going to be all right, right?" Selphie's tiny voice floated out from behind Squall.

Turning around slowly, Squall just stared at Selphie before replying. His gaze was so cold, so distant. ". . .I don't know Selphie" the helplessness in those words touched Selphie's heart. Impulsively, Selphie went over and gave Squall a hug. To Selphie's greater surprise he accepted it humbly and did not push her away. They stood there like this for some time each grateful for the other's support. . .

==

The intercom rang again, this time another emergency had appeared. The herd of Ruby Dragon and Blue Dragons that flew away from the Island Closest to Hell had reappeared in the continent of Galbadia and was attacking Deling, tarbia, Dollet, Timber and Winhill. Galbadia Garden had asked for reinforcement to exterminate the monsters and Xu had no other choice to but to do so least the monsters attack Balamb next.

Quistis, Zell, Selphie, Squall, Nida and Irvine stood neatly in front of Xu's desk in her office as Xu explained the nature of the mission. Finally exhausting all crucial details, Xu turned away from the large electronic board where all the details were displayed to look at the six of them.

"Well, are there any questions? If not you are all to meet at the front gate in 1700 hours, in roughly 15 minutes time. I will. . ." Xu had not even finished her sentence when Squall cut in.

"No." Everyone turned to look at him as if Squall had suddenly sprouted two feelers on top of his head. Squall? Refusing a mission? It was unheard of.

"No." Squall repeated himself again, this time with more force. Immediately, Xu asked him why. "Squall, we need you. You are the strongest fighter around." She reasoned with him.

Walking up to the big oak desk, Squall stared at Xu before answering her. "Xu, you don't need me. . . . I'm not the strongest fighter, I never was. Zell and Irvine are stronger. Quistis, Nida and Selphie are faster, more agile.. . . No one is indispensable, not even me Xu."

Shocked Xu took a step back and watched dumbly like the rest of them in the room, as Squall walked out of her office without even looking back. As Squall crossed the room, he only knew one thing: Rinoa needs him more than Xu does.

Sadly, Quistis watched his retreating back. How many times had it been that she saw only his back, not his face? "Too many times." Quistis felt amused. Lowering her head, she caught Nida's gaze and almost instinctively, she turned her eyes away. Inside her breast pocket, she could feel the white handkerchief. It was warm.





p.s: yes, yes people, I'll try and wake Rinoa up soon.. Hang on ok?? So how do you all like it so far??