Chapter 2

Zell put on his jacket, feeling that weight on his chest already, event though it was only 6.30 am. He headed towards the cafeteria to eat his traditional hotdogs (a tradition he didn't despise) for breakfast. When he entered the cafeteria, his eyes searched after the long, light brown hair belonging to Tionna. She had promised to meet him here, but she had to be late.

He frowned and sighed painfully when he passed an over decorated tree. Why couldn't they just delete all signs of Christmas? Why did they have to decorate the entire Garden?

He received his hotdogs and went to sit down. He glanced at everyone around him, hating them for their happiness. He began wondering why he hadn't just ended everything? Why he hadn't he just "accidentally" been attacked by a T-rexuar? He was good at accidents.

Suddenly he felt someone throw their arms around his neck from behind, and the hotdog he held in his hand fell in his lap.

" Morning Zell! How are you?" Without waiting for his answer or permission to sit down, Tionna positioned herself in front of Zell and pulled a notebook from her bag.

" Honey, I need your help tonight, you free?"
He shrugged.

" I guess. What do you need help with?"

" Good, meet me at home around 15.30, Ok?" she said without answering his question. He nodded and knew that he probably was in for a boring job.

" I have to go and do some shopping. Don't forget to meet me, alright?"

" 'Course not!" She gave him a smile, arose, notebook still in her hand and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

" Later Blondie."

She hurried out, leaving Zell at the table, suddenly aware of the now cold hotdog in his lap. He put in on the plate and looked at it for a while. Then he shook his head. He wasn't THAT hungry.

Tionna put a big bag of chips in her cart and continued to cruise between the shelves. She had her grocery list in her hand and headed towards the sodas when she ran her cart into someone else's.

" Oh, sorry", she said and was about to leave when someone said her name.
" Mrs Claine, I didn't see you."

The older woman smiled weakly.

" Don't worry, no harm done."
Tionna smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. There was something wrong with Mrs Claine, she looked sick. She had seen it before, with Zell.

" What are you shopping for?"

" A Christmas party. I'm inviting some friends over while my parents are out of town."
Mrs Claine nodded.

" Allie loved Christmas parties."

A long silence followed and Tionna began to feel uncomfortable because she didn't have anything to say.

" Are you here with Zell?"
There was a large amount of hope in her voice.

" No, I'm sorry. I'm here alone."

It was obvious she was disappointed.

" Oh, I see. Well, when you see him, could you tell him I would like to see him?"

Tionna nodded, wondering why she always got the though assignments.

" Sure."
Mrs Claine nodded thankfully and pulled her cart out of the way for Tionna, who hurried away.

" That woman is freaking me out sometimes", she thought and continued her shopping.

When she got home, Zell was sitting on her doorstep and stood up when she walked up to him.

" Hi there, Sweetie, you're early. It's not even three yet."

He smiled, something unusual for him, and nodded towards the bags she was carrying.

" You need help with those?"
" Ah, you're an angel. I thought I'd break my back walking over here."

Zell took two of the bags and Tionna put the remaining one on the ground, while she tried to find the key in one of her pockets.

" What's all this for?"

She didn't look at him when she answered, trying to get the key into the lock.

" It's for the Christmas party I'm gonna have tomorrow."

" Tomorrow?" There was hesitation in his voice and Tionna knew exactly what he was thinking. Tomorrow was the anniversary of Allies death.

" Yes. That's what you're gonna help me with."

She glanced at Zell who bit his lip, staring into nothing.

" You coming?"
He looked up, confused, then noticed that the door was opened, nodded and walked in.

There was no Christmas tree in the house for which Zell was grateful, but there was tiny things that belonged to Christmas. He sighed but decided to suck I up for Tionnas sake. He put the bags he was holding down on the counter and faced Tionna.

" When did you decide to have a Christmas party?"

" Why? I can't?"
" ' Course you can, it's just you never mentioned anything." He felt disappointed for some reason.

" I know how you feel about Christmas and that you loathe the idea of celebrating it, so I guessed you didn't wanna hear about it."
Tionna was always straight forward, knowing him sometimes too well. She never stepped on any toes, though, or made him feel uncomfortable. And she was always right.

She gave him a teasing smile, causing him to smile back.

" So, can I count on your strong arms in the task of preparing this house for the best Christmas party of all times?"
Damn, that girl sure could make him feel better.

" You bet."
She started to unpack the bags, and he helped. He held up a bag of pipe-cleaners.

" What do you need these for? No one you knows smoke a pipe."

" I'm gonna make reindeers out of them."
" But Ti, they're green. There are no green reindeers."
She frowned an glared at him.

" Don't get technical with me, mister. There are no scientific evidence that there doesn't exist green reindeers. Maybe they're just shy. I know I'd be if I were green and a reindeer. Besides, the store only had green pipe-cleaners…"
Zell laughed out loud, although he tried to hold it back. Tionna looked at him, a broad smile on her face. They continued to unpack and when everything was lying on the counter, Tionna turned towards Zell and held his hands.
" It's nice to hear you laugh again. Please, keep it up."
He hadn't realized it until now, but he had been standing in a kitchen, so full of Christmas it would have hurt, without thinking about Allie since he had entered the house. It scared him a little, thinking he was about to forget her.

" You need to move on, honey." Tionna answered his thoughts. " You can't go on like this."
She knew she was right, as usual, and to tell the truth, he was on the verge of doing exactly that. But he was balancing on a thin line, his future depending on in which direction he fell. The only thing he needed to fall right, was to find a way to forgive himself. But how? How do you forgive yourself for killing someone you love?