Note: Okay, here's some more ... still needs going over, and I'll probably repost the smaller chapters as one big file in html as soon as I'm done with the whole story, but meanwhile ... enjoy! (I hope!)


Letters: Preparing for the Inevitable


On the drive home, Tommy was still silent, and Jason wisely kept his attention on the road. However, he held his best friend back just before he could disappear into his room.

"What's up, Tommy?" he asked quietly, knowing full well what the other had to be thinking about.

It was on the tip of Tommy's tongue to reply with a flip 'nothing', but a glance at Jason told him two things - one, Jason was honestly concerned and interested and two, he wouldn't let him get away with it. Not this time. Sighing, he walked into their shared living room, coming to stand at the window overlooking the dark street outside. Tommy could feel the tension in his back muscles, but all his discipline couldn't make him relax. Grateful that Jason only sat in his favorite chair, giving him time to find the words he knew needed to be said, he gathered his thoughts with an effort.

"I ... I don't know if I'm ready to face Kim again. I thought I was, but ..." his voice, uncharacteristically hoarse, trailed off as Tommy fought down the old hurt.

"What do you mean?" Jason wondered, still using a subdued tone to fit the mood. "You saw her after Muranthias ..."

"Yes, but we never really talked, y'know? Things were so hectic then, what with the tournament, Justin, adjusting to new Powers ... I mean, Kim sort of told me she needed to talk to me, but there was Kat to consider ... I didn't want to hurt her, I was so damned busy all the time, with racing and stuff, then Kim had to return to Florida ..."

"What you're saying is, you chickened out of confronting her."

Tommy spared a quick look for Jason. "No ... no, it was just ... the time never seemed quite right, there were always other people around ... Kim didn't seem too wild about it, anyway ..."

Jason huffed exasperatedly. "As I said, you chickened out." Before Tommy could object further, he raised a hand to stall him. "Tommy, stop lying to yourself. You know you did. Both of you, really."

The tall young man tensed even further, then deflated suddenly, almost like a balloon which had been pricked. His shoulders slumped, and slowly he sank down on the couch opposite Jason's armchair. It took a few minutes, but finally, he nodded almost imperceptibly.

"Yeah, I ... I guess I did."

"About time you admitted it, Bro," Jason commented softly. *At last! Maybe now we're finally getting somewhere!* He got up, collected two beers from the kitchen and wordlessly handed one to Tommy. They didn't indulge often, but this was one situation that demanded something stronger than juice or soda. "Do you know why you never tried to get an answer from Kim? You gotta admit, even if she had found somebody else - and you know it happens, sometimes - it wasn't like her to send you a 'Dear John' letter. Calling you, or even coming home to tell you in person would've been much more her style. The girl writing that letter was not the Kim I've known since Junior High."

Tommy just shook his head, feeling as lost and confused as he'd done that long-ago day when a few words had shattered his world.

"I dunno. I don't know," he repeated, sounding completely bewildered. Jason's heart went out to his best friend, and he reached over to pat his knee comfortingly.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, but Tommy didn't hear him. Now that the dam was broken, the words just seemed to pour out of him - unstoppable as the tide.

"Why, Jase? Why did she do it? I just don't get it, even after this long." The brown eyes were troubled, clouded, as years of wondering came to a head. "I thought she loved me - she's always told me so. There was no warning, nothing ... in the last letter I'd sent her, I practically proposed to Kim, and first she left me hanging for over a week, then she breaks up with me with no rhyme or reason! In a fucking letter!" Tommy's voice rose as he relived the day his world collapsed, his uncharacteristic use of swear words a clear indication of his mental turmoil. "Why? Goddammit, WHY?!?"

*We should've had this conversation years ago,* Jason couldn't help thinking. *If I'd only been home then - or forced the issue sooner!* He sighed, wishing he had an answer for his friend, but he was no closer to an explanation that made any sense now than he had been then. "I don't know, Tom. I wish I did, but I don't. None of us do. We only know that ever since, Kim has ... changed, somehow. I noticed it when we went on that diving expedition and wanted to get her to talk, but you know how that turned out." Jason grinned fleetingly, his expression wry. "Trini commented on it, too, after they'd met in Geneva, but she's as much in the dark as everybody, including you."

Tommy laughed without humor. "Yeah, that helps a lot. Not!" Seeing the look on Jason's face, he sighed, took a long swig of his beer and closed his eyes wearily. "Sorry. That was uncalled for. I know you'd help me if you could." Losing himself in his thoughts for a while, Tommy was grateful for Jason's silence - it gave him support without demanding anything except he be honest with his friend ... and himself. At last, he started talking, almost as if to himself.

"You know ... we were always so close, right from the start. Kim and I ... even before we were Rangers together. That first day at school, I took one look at her and knew that Kim was IT. The girl I'd been dreaming of all my life. All the time I was under Rita's spell, what hurt the most was that I was being so mean to her. At some level, it disturbed me even when I was evil. Then, when you destroyed the Sword of Darkness ... to know that I almost made her cry ... it ate me up."

"But she forgave you. We all did - it wasn't your fault. You weren't yourself!"

"Yeah, but still ... it's one of the things I regret most. Next to hurting all those people, and to almost killing you." The two shared a long look of understanding. That was an issue they'd resolved long ago, and in a strange way, it had made their friendship even closer. "Then there was that time when we were both running for school president and Rita put us under a spell again ... although, looking back it was more funny than anything else." Tommy grinned at the memory. "I can't believe how childish we were!"

"I can," Jason smirked. "Billy and Rocky told me. Man, I wish I'd been here to see you painting a mustache on Kim's picture!" When Tommy blushed guiltily, Jason couldn't help laughing. It was infectious enough to make Tommy join him, and it cleared the rather gloomy atmosphere considerably. However, soon enough both young men sobered again.

"So, are you gonna talk with Kim when you see her?" Jason prodded. "'Cause if you don't, I might just have to lock you into a room together until you do."

"Yeah, that'll go over real well with Kim," Tommy snorted. "I may have to kill you if you try."

"You and what army?" the one-time Gold Ranger queried drily. "Will you do it?" The last was more a command than a question.

"I guess I'll have to, won't I?" his best friend mumbled, sounding about as eager as if he'd just been volunteered for several root canals.

"You sure do, Bro. At least if you both want closure, one way or another."

"Is that possible? Even after all this time?"

"I think so."

Tommy heaved a heavy sigh. "Problem is, how do I get Kimberly to talk to me? Will she even want to?"

The look he got in reply said 'Don't be an idiot' as clearly as if Jason had spoken aloud, and Tommy felt his cheeks grow hot.

"Uh, stupid question?"

"Very stupid."

Jason let that sink in for a moment, then gave Tommy an encouraging smile as both got up and made their way to their respective bedrooms. Just before they parted, he clapped the other on the shoulder. "If you can't make her, come to me. We'll all help you. Between Trini and myself, I'm sure we can set things up so you guys get a chance to talk. Okay?"

"More than. Thanks, Bro," Tommy smiled back, not quite as convincingly as he wished. While he knew that Jason was right, he couldn't help feeling torn. *What if she wants me to forget and forgive? Can I do that? Do I even want to?* Saying a quiet 'good night' to Jason, Tommy stepped into his room and closed the door behind him. Getting ready for bed, his thoughts were in a turmoil as much as they'd been the day he'd received Kimberly's letter. *I might have no other choice. Because if I'm as honest with myself as Jase -and Kat, for that matter - insist I should be, I've gotta admit that deep down, I still have feelings for Kim. The million-dollar question is ... what KIND of feelings?*

It was a question that would haunt his dreams for quite a few nights to come.

~*~

The festivities at Angel Grove High had been going on all day, with guided tours around the school, watching performances of the various clubs, listening to the speeches from the new principal, the mayor and several others. By now, it was evening, and there was a big dance scheduled at the gym. Tommy drove up with Kat, who looked elegant and quite lovely in her coral pink sheath dress. Kat was supposed to have come with Tanya, but the former Yellow Ranger had had to cancel at the last minute and would join the group later. It had been the most natural thing for Kat to call up her former boyfriend to ask for a ride, and Tommy had agreed without a second thought.

There had been but a moment's awkwardness between them as Kat and Tommy met face to face for the first time since his visit to London, but their friendship and the deep affection they still shared took care of that almost immediately, and they'd greeted each other with genuine smiles and a warm hug. Now it was as if they'd met only weeks instead of two years ago.

As Tommy found a parking space and maneuvered his car into position, Kat looked at him sideways. When he shut down the engine and turned towards her with a smile, she returned it easily enough, but made no move to get out. He raised a questioning eyebrow, and she chuckled slightly. Then, Kat laid slender fingers on his forearm.

"Are you okay, Tommy?" she asked softly.

"Sure I am," he answered blithely. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Tommy."

The dancer just gazed at him, her blue eyes serious yet warm. Tommy held the look for a heartbeat, then lowered his own eyes and sighed.

"Sorry." When Kat made no further sound, waiting patiently, he leaned back against the door. "I ... I think I am," he admitted finally. He knew what Katherine was getting at. Kimberly hadn't been able to get an earlier flight from Florida, but everyone knew she'd be joining the friends tonight. "It's gonna be hard to see Kim again after all this time ..."

"...and after everything that's happened," Kat interjected quietly. She'd always suspected that Tommy was carrying a torch for Kimberly deep down, even before they had broken up in London, and this only confirmed it. It hurt a little, but she cared enough about both her friends to ignore the small pang.

"Yeah." He swallowed. "But I think it's time I faced her. In more ways than the obvious."

His pretty companion breathed a silent sigh of relief. "I was hoping you'd realize that," she murmured. "There's still too much unresolved between you."

"Does everyone think that?"

"Pretty much. The only ones too blind to see it were Kim and you, it seems."

Tommy shook his head, halfway between amusement and exasperation. This was just too weird, talking about Kim like this with the woman he'd dated for years.

"Well, let's get it over with, then," he said, and made as if to open the car's door. Before he could pull the handle all the way to release the lock, though, Kat's next words held him back.

"Tommy ... if there's anything I can do to help you, you'll let me know, won't you? And I do mean anything," she murmured earnestly.

"You're saying that?" he wondered, genuinely astonished at Kat's generosity of spirit.

"Of course. You know I love you. Maybe no longer as a ... well, as a lover," she blushed prettily, "but as a friend. You need to put this business with Kim behind you once and for all - one way or another. And for that, you need to talk with her. We all want to know why she broke up with you like that. If you get the chance to find your answers, I'm behind you all the way. Besides, if it wasn't me, I think Jason would be more than willing to step in." Kat's smile bordered on the impish as she said that; there was no need for Tommy to know that his friends were actively conspiring behind his back to make him do what needed to be done.

His tone showed that Tommy maybe wasn't quite as unobservant as they thought he'd be.

"Between the two of you, do I have a choice?" he asked drily, making Kat laugh.

"Not a chance."

Giving in with what grace he could muster, he got out and wandered around, to politely open the door for Kat. When she slipped out and stood before him, smoothing her dress and hair, Tommy couldn't help giving in to a sudden impulse. He hugged Kat, hard, and brushed a friendly kiss across her lips.

"You're the best," he said huskily.

Katherine accepted the compliment with an easy, gratified smile and touched his cheek. "Thanks. I know," she answered with a small grin. Then, the moment passed and they stepped apart again. Reaching for Tommy's arm, the blonde nodded towards the building at the end of the parking lot.

"They're waiting for us in there. So, come on! I'm dying to meet Trini and Zack at last!"

"All right." With a long-suffering sigh that evoked mock-heartless laughter from Kat, he ushered the former Pink Ranger into the festively-decorated gym.

~*~


To be continued ...