Note: Some more to tantalize you. ( Yes, I know I'm evil. But rest assured,
this IS still going somewhere. Soon, too .Thanks again for all the nice
comments on the previous installment! DB
Letters 2: Disclosures
Tanya to Trini
" . Trini, I can't tell you how much I appreciate you guys throwing a bridal shower for me; and I'm truly glad that we'll be getting to know each other some more. You've been so helpful about everything to do with traditions and stuff! Thank you! Anyway, as Adam and I will be moving into a bigger place right after the wedding, my folks have offered to host the shower at their home; I hope you all won't mind my mom being there, too. I've told her so much about all of you, she's dying to meet you. ."
"Welcome," Mrs. Sloane called as the four female ex-Rangers climbed out of Kim's car in the wide driveway. The girls greeted her and Tanya, then started unloading a number of mysterious packages from the trunk that made Tanya's eyes widen with curiosity.
"Are those for me?" she asked.
"No, for the Salvation Army," Kat quipped. "We always gift-wrap our donations. Of course they're for you, silly."
"Ooh . let me see!" Eagerly, Tanya reached for a flat box tied with a big, shiny yellow bow.
"Later, Tanya," Mrs. Sloane recalled her excited daughter to her duties as hostess/guest of honor with a smile that was both indulgent and slightly reproachful. "You're worse than you used to be at age five on Christmas morning!"
"You mean she's changed since then?" Aisha deadpanned. Tanya pouted as her mother pretended to consider the question, then slowly shook her head no, and the six women burst out laughing, creating an instant camaraderie that transcended age. It was easy to see for the others from where Tanya had inherited both her down-to-earth ways and her charm. Mrs. Sloane led the way into the cool foyer.
"Let's see if my scientific training lets me get all your names right. Katherine I already know, of course," she winked at the blonde Australian, "Aisha is pretty obvious - how is Ashala, Dear? You must tell me everything about her and the village if we have a minute! Tanya's told me that Trini is the nice Asian who knows all about Buddhist weddings, so that means you must be Kimberly the gymnast," she concluded, grinning down on a delighted Kim.
"That's right, Mrs. Sloane," the petite brunette laughed, liking the humor. "Brilliant deduction!"
"Oh, call me Ella," the older woman offered to all, ushering the girls through a spacious living area onto the sunny terrace, where refreshments and canapés had been set out under a large umbrella. "What?" she twinkled innocently, as she noticed Aisha's incredulous look.
"I'm sorry, but . but you don't really look like an Ella to me," the dark-skinned girl said apologetically. "No offense!"
"None taken," Ella Sloane chuckled. "You're hardly the first to think that."
"Mom's full name is Eleanor," Tanya stage-whispered with a grin, dodging her mother's half-hearted swat expertly. "Named after Eleanor Roosevelt. Only, she's always hated the name . but loves jazz, and especially Ella Fitzgerald's music, so ."
"Names can be awful," Trini nodded, instantly at ease under the friendly banter. She gently slapped Tanya's hands away from a gaily-wrapped package and put it under her chair for later. "You have NO idea how often I've been asked what my full name is; everybody always assumes that 'Trini' is an abbreviation of something. Like Katrina."
"You think it's easier with a name like mine?" Kat commented with a long- suffering sigh. "Katherine has to be the one name with more variations than any other. Well, maybe Elizabeth comes close, but ..." She shrugged. "There's Katy, Kathy, Kathleen, Kaitlin ..."
"Not to mention the really cutesy ones, like Kitty," Kimberly smirked, knowing how much Kat hated that particular diminutive.
"Don't remind me," the blonde shuddered dramatically. "Kat was definitely the lesser evil. Of course, now I have to put up with all the cat jokes ."
"Well, we could always go back to calling you PC," Kim suggested straight- faced, only to squeal in pretend fright when Kat growled menacingly and took a swipe at her with her hands shaped into claws.
"Mwrrroooooaaaarrrrrrrrrr!"
"HELP!"
"Tough luck, Kim; you're all on your own against the Pink Panther," Aisha snickered, then nearly fell off her chair when Kat turned towards her with a mock-ferocious scowl. "Um . maybe not. Anybody got some catnip?"
"Try this," Tanya wheezed, nearly doubled over with laughter as she passed around a tray with filled champagne flutes. "I've heard say it soothes even the most savage of beasts!"
"Who're you calling a beast?!?"
Tanya's answer was lost as Ella Sloane went back to the kitchen for some cheese puffs; she shook her head in silent amusement. *These girls! Grown, successful women each, and yet as silly as high school sophomores! Me likes!* No wonder Tanya had been so insistent to have her friends at the wedding, even though Kat and Kimberly would be sticking out like sore thumbs among all the Parks, Kims, Sloanes and Henrys. *Well, there's no helping it. Besides, with Adam's friends also there, they won't be the only Caucasians present. And it doesn't really matter, anyway.* If there was one thing Adam and Tanya's family had in common, it was the lack of racial prejudice. It made for a very pleasant foundation on which to build a closer relationship; Ella was very much looking forward to discussing various Korean historical sites with Adam's great aunt Midori.
~*~
There was much laughter and plain girlish silliness as the women consumed the delicious food and sipped their drinks; they'd switched to non- alcoholic punch after that first glass of champagne because they didn't need anything else to enjoy themselves. The girls could reminisce to their hearts' content as Mrs. Sloane knew about their former 'day jobs', and she enjoyed the funny memories related by the longer-serving Rangers as much as Tanya.
At one point, she looked at the younger women admiringly. "You know . ever since Tanya rescued us from Mysterio Island and revealed her identity to us, I've admired what you all did, but to get to know you like this . it's truly been an experience. Let me say just this once that I'm very glad my daughter has found friends like you. I've always wanted that for her, and it's a privilege to see how much you all like each other."
There were a few pleased yet embarrassed smiles, but then Kat spoke up.
"Thank you. But if there ever was a privilege, it was really ours; I don't know if I'd be the person I've become if it hadn't been for meeting the gang and getting chosen to be a Ranger." Aisha and Tanya nodded; they, too had once joined the team as newcomers. Kimberly and Trini exchanged a look.
"Don't make us into anything more than we were," the slender Asian said thoughtfully. "Sure, Kim and I were friends, but I don't know that we would have grown this close without Zordon. Before ."
"Before, we were typical teenage girls; concerned about boys, clothes, being popular . well, Trini also cared about her schoolwork," Kimberly grinned. "I was . kinda shallow. Doing, like, the Valley Girl stuff?" she drawled in an imitation of her former ways, making the others smile. "I had to grow out of that fast enough, and let me tell you, I don't regret it. Not for a second."
"None of us do," Aisha concurred. "I mean, I liked hanging out with Rocky and Adam, being one of the guys and everything, but I've learned so much through becoming a Ranger - I feel as if I've really changed into a better person."
"Which is something not many people can say of themselves, especially at such a relatively young age," Ella said. Once again, she marvelled at the quirks of fate that had led Tanya to Angel Grove and her friends. She felt that no matter what, her daughter would always have someone to count on. It made her own life as an anthropologist - which often meant going on expeditions into remote, and sometimes dangerous, areas - that much easier, knowing that Tanya wouldn't be alone if something ever should happen to her or her husband. Dispelling the suddenly rather somber mood with a bright smile, Ella refilled a couple of glasses, then leaned back in her chair.
"Isn't it time for the male stripper yet?" she asked nonchalantly, enjoying the looks of stunned disbelief on the girls' faces at her outrageous question. "That's sort of traditional for a bachelorette party like this, isn't it? Don't tell me you've forgotten to arrange for one!"
Blushing hotly, Kat cleared her throat. She didn't dare look at any of the others. "Um, well, I, ah, I guess ."
"What a pity. And I was so looking forward to it," Ella said blandly.
"Mom! What would Dad say if he heard you?!?" Tanya gasped. She knew her mother could be rather unconventional sometimes, but surely she didn't believe .
Ella grinned. "You really want to know? I think he'd watch the guy very carefully, then take him aside and lecture him about the significance of formal stripping of clothes and the tradition of related mating rituals among the natives of Papua-New Guinea. Or some other place like that. Thereby completely missing the point of the show."
Tanya suddenly began to giggle. "Yeah, that sounds like Dad, alright!"
Mrs. Sloane sighed melodramatically. "I love your father dearly, but sometimes . he just doesn't have a clue." She shook her head in resignation.
Kim, Kat, Aisha and Trini had overcome their own surprise by now. They, too, started to laugh.
"You know, I bet I could probably name a couple of guys who are just like that," Kim smirked.
"Oh yeah," Aisha laughed. She started ticking names off her fingers. "Let's see . in alphabetical order, that'd be Adam, Billy ."
".Jason, Justin, Rocky, Tommy ." Kat added, and the others nodded sagely.
"Pathetic, as we used to say, right, Kim?" Trini concluded, then reached for the package she'd hidden from Tanya earlier. "Well . maybe this will help you to make Adam less clueless." With a knowing smile, she handed the box over.
Eagerly, Tanya took off the lid and looked at the contents - aromatic oils, creams and massage lotions. As soon as she realized what was the likely purpose of the gift, she blushed.
"Oh my .!"
With a naughty giggle, Kat produced the box with the yellow bow. "I believe this might go well with that!"
"Ooh-là-là!" Kim cooed as Tanya unfolded a lacy baby-doll nightie that clearly would leave very little to Adam's imagination. "NICE!"
"I'll say," Aisha put forth drily. "If you wear that, the poor boy won't know what hit him."
By now, Tanya's initial embarrassment had given way to laughter. "Don't worry, I know enough to revive him if he has heart failure," she chuckled as she continued to unpack her friends' presents, which ranged from the useful to the silly. Comments and suggestions about their use were flying fast and furiously, when Ella excused herself and went inside to answer the shrilling phone. It took her quite a while to return to the patio, and when she did, her dark skin had a greyish cast, and her eyes looked terrified. It was such a contrast to the vibrant personality she had shown before that Kimberly, who happened to glance her way, couldn't suppress a small exclamation of surprise.
"Ella, what is it?"
Tanya looked up from admiring a pair of crystal candlesticks and nearly shattered them in her haste to rush to her mother's side as she noticed tears streaming down the usually strong, vital face.
"Mom!"
Carefully, she guided Ella to her chair. Trini quickly poured some leftover champagne into a glass and made the older woman take a sip or two. The others gathered around, anxiously waiting to see if they could help their hostess. Gradually, Mrs. Sloane calmed down enough to look at her daughter.
"Tanya . oh my God, baby ." Fresh tears spilled over, and Kat fumbled for a handkerchief, giving it to Tanya who was getting increasingly worried.
"What's wrong? Has something happened to Dad?"
"No . no, your father's fine," Ella hiccuped. Something about the way she said it sent a shiver down Tanya's spine.
"Then what is it?" she urged.
With an effort, Ella made herself relax. Briefly, she considered saying nothing, but one look into the five concerned faces around her changed her mind. Having seen the close ties among the group of young women, she realized they'd learn about it anyway; they might as well hear it now.
"I . that was my doctor's office who just called," she began haltingly. "You know I had a check-up recently, for that dig we're supposed to go on this fall? Anyway, the test results are in, and . oh God, Tanya, they found I've g-got . I've got cancer!" Ella started to cry once more. "We had so many plans still, Gabe and I . now this! What if I'm going to die? Who will look after him, go along with him on the expeditions? And you." She lifted haunted eyes to her shocked daughter. "I had hoped to see you have babies of your own; who will be there for you if you need me and I'm gone?"
Tanya started to cry, too. Helplessly, all she could do was embrace her mother.
"Mom . oh Mom, I don't know! It seems as if I've only just found you - I can't lose you again!"
The four young women exchanged looks. They all wanted to help, but how could they? An illness like this . this was beyond their experience. Kat tentatively reached out to her best friend, trying to comfort her, but seemingly couldn't get through to Tanya, who held on to Ella as both wept, oblivious to their surroundings.
~*~
Trini, Aisha, Kim and Kat withdrew slightly, giving mother and daughter some privacy, but kept close enough to be there should their assistance be required. They exchanged uneasy glances, not quite daring to express their feelings at this unexpected and most unwelcome event, but finally Aisha could stand the strained silence no longer.
"God, I wish there was something we could do to make it easier," she murmured.
"There's really nothing one can do in a situation like this," Trini whispered sadly.
Kat nodded, her own voice tight with emotion. "I doubt anyone can, unless they've gone already through something like it."
Kimberly heard her friends, but remained silent, her expression shuttered and distanced. The brown eyes were fixed intently on the older woman, her usually smooth forehead crunched up in a tiny frown as she just stood at the edge of the group. Her whole stance seemed to indicate she was waiting for something, but for what, nobody could say. When Aisha was about to comment, Trini stopped her with a small shake of her head. "Let her be," she suggested quietly. "Kim probably doesn't know what to say, either."
That brought the first Pink Ranger out of her apparent paralysis.
"But I do," Kat heard her say under her breath. "I do know."
The Australian thought she had misunderstood. *I MUST have. How would Kim know.and know WHAT?* "Kim? What do you mean?" she wondered, but got no answer as the petite young woman slowly approached Tanya and her mother. Crouching before the chair, Kimberly gently touched Ella's knee.
"Ella?"
The older woman sniffled, then visibly tried to collect her wits. "I'm sorry," she choked. "I didn't want to spoil the mood, but . " Another sob caught in her throat.
"Mom's always been simply terrified by any kind of sickness," Tanya explained through her own tears. "She just has no control over her reactions, at least not right away."
"That's quite okay, Tanya," Kim gave her friend a quick, understanding smile, but brought her attention back towards Mrs. Sloane right away. "I'd just like to ask your mom a few questions, if she doesn't mind."
"Kim, I don't think this is the time -" Trini was about to interrupt, but Ella drew in a deep, shuddering breath.
"No, no, it's okay. Maybe that'll distract me a little." She attempted a brave smile as she ineffectually wiped her wet cheeks. "What do you want to know, Dear?"
Kim inhaled shakily. It took all her courage and resolve not to falter now, knowing that she was going to expose much more of herself, of her past crisis than she'd ever intended, but she really liked Tanya's mother, and if there was any way, any way at all that she could help, at least a bit . it'd be more than worth it. *She needs my help. Just as I needed it then.* And she couldn't turn her back now. Not when there was something she could do. *It's little enough, after all .* Making her voice as gentle as she could, Kimberly took a cold hand between her own trembling fingers and waited until the dark eyes met hers.
"Ella . what exactly did your doctor say? What kind of cancer do you have - where in your body is it, I mean?"
Surprised, Ella recalled what she'd been told. It was difficult; she'd been so shocked, but she made the attempt nonetheless. "The nurse said it was in my ovaries . I have a tumor in my right ovary." She stifled another sob.
"And do they think they can operate?" Kimberly was speaking in a deliberately soothing tone. Her whole demeanour, asking quietly for information, had a visibly calming effect on Ella.
"Y-yes, I think so. Of course, they can't be sure without further tests, but Dr. Isaacs seemed to be somewhat optimistic about that."
"That's good. Keep that in mind," Kim requested, smiling reassuringly as she got up and sat down in a chair next to the other woman. Gradually, giving Ella all the time she needed, the gymnast got the details of her illness out into the open. The others wondered about this; while they knew Kim as compassionate and concerned, it was unlike her to press like this for obviously painful details.
*Bad enough, but not hopeless,* Kimberly thought when Tanya's mother finally wound down. *Much like it was for me.*
"Thanks. I know how difficult this must've been for you." Oh, HOW she knew!
She then reached for her purse and extracted a pen and a small notepad. From memory, Kim then wrote down a couple of 0-800 numbers and handed the note to Mrs. Sloane.
"You might give one or both of these places a call, when you feel like it," she said gently. At the questioning look she received, Kim explained, "They're numbers for support groups for women diagnosed with cancer - especially in the uterus and other female areas. They have nurses there, doctors, psychologists . and most of all other women who have gone through exactly what you're going through now. Any questions you have, they'll give you answers, honestly and in detail. And most importantly, in terms everybody can understand. You'll get no Latin phrases from them.
"Trust me on this? I wouldn't give you these numbers if I didn't think it might help. You can give my name as reference, too."
Bemusedly, Ella took the piece of paper and turned it over a few times in her hands. Her mind, recovering from the initial shock, was already coming up with any number of questions she desperately wanted answers to.
"Th-thanks. I think I will give them a call - tomorrow, maybe, when I've calmed down a little."
"That's okay," Kim smiled, relieved her offer hadn't been rejected out of hand. "Just do it whenever you're ready to get your answers."
Tanya also gave her friend a grateful, slightly wobbly smile. For her, it was enough to see her mother not quite so distraught anymore.
"Thanks, Kim."
Then, a thought struck her.
"But say - how do you know about these help lines? You didn't even have to look them up; did someone in your family have cancer, too?"
Kimberly briefly closed her eyes, echoes of the agony she'd gone through seven years ago shadowing her mind.
*This is it.*
The moment she'd dreaded had arrived at last. She'd never wanted her friends' pity, but knew that the time had come to reveal her secret. A look into the haunted eyes of Tanya's mother decided her. *For Ella. For every woman in the same situation.*
Drawing a deep, fortifying breath, Kim shared her truth.
"Not 'someone in my family'. Me."
There was a stunned silence, broken at last by Trini's incredulous whisper.
"WHAT?!?"
Meeting her oldest friend's shocked eyes, Kim's voice was brittle but quite calm.
"Yes. I had cervical cancer."
~*~
Aisha, Kat, Tanya and Trini looked askance at their friend, then Aisha and Trini surged forward as one, enfolding her in a fierce hug. Kat wasn't far behind; only Tanya stayed with her mother, but reached out to the first Pink Ranger as well.
"Good God, Kim, when? What happened? Why didn't you tell us?"
The questions tumbled over each other; it was impossible to tell who asked what, but Kim didn't mind - because in the eyes fixed on her she didn't find the pity she'd feared, but compassion and deep concern instead.
*How stupid and wrong I was . then .*
Accepting the comfort she'd so longed for at the time but hadn't dared ask for, Kim felt a few tears roll down her own cheeks. She wiped them quickly away.
"It's okay, guys. I'm okay. Now."
Reaching for composure, Trini sat back, but kept an arm around Kim's slender shoulders.
"What happened?" she repeated. "Can you tell us?"
Kimberly nodded, suddenly relieved that she could tell everything at last. Swallowing the lump which had formed inside of her, she started to speak.
"It was a few months after I'd started training with Coach Schmidt; during the team physicals, the doctor found some irregularities ."
Haltingly, she recounted everything - how she'd hoped against hope that the diagnosis was wrong, but was disappointed in that. How she'd decided to keep silent, not wanting to worry her friends and distract them from their duty as Rangers. Although she tried to hide it, the others knew her well enough to read between the lines how afraid and lonely she must've felt, dealing with this blow all by herself.
"God, Kim," Trini whispered, hugging her. "I wish you would have told me. Or any of us, really."
Thankfully, Kimberly returned the embrace. "I couldn't. Not at the time," she replied. "It was all I could do to call my mom."
"I think I understand," Kat said softly. "If it had been me . maybe I would have done the same." Slowly, with dawning recognition, she turned towards her predecessor as something clicked in her mind.
"Kim . does Tommy know?"
The question hung in the air as the significance seeped into the girls' consciousness. With bated breath, they waited for an answer they already knew deep inside. And it came as no big surprise to any of them when Kimberly's pale face colored a delicate shade of pink as she shook her head.
"N-no."
~*~
"So that's why she broke up with him," Aisha said to Trini and Kat during a three-way phone call later that night, after they'd all gone home. "I've always wondered."
"Yes," Trini commented. "It always seemed so out of character for her ."
"They were so much in love; even a blind person could see it. I mean, it's not all that unusual for a couple to drift apart through separation." Kat recalled how her own relationship with Tommy had ended, absurdly pleased that she could do so with only a small, wistful smile. "But for Kim to fall for someone else? I'd always wondered."
"You weren't the only one," Trini concurred. The three young women discussed the startling revelations of the day a while longer before they determinedly turned their thoughts back to more pleasant events - namely Adam and Tanya's wedding, which was only a few weeks away. It was quite late before each of them found rest.
~*~
Kim talked to Ella Sloane a few more times in the days after Tanya's bridal shower, pleased that the older woman would seek out her advice. Sharing her own experience with her was far easier than she'd thought it would be, and in doing so found a measure of gratitude that she could finally pass on some of the help she had been given while still a teenager.
Tonight, she was planning on spending a quiet evening watching TV; she'd had an exhausting day at Angel Grove University, where she was doing course work to obtain her coaching license. Now that there were fresh 'stars' coming up on the gymnastics scene, Kim had decided to fall back on her old dream of teaching. She still enjoyed minor celebrity status, but knew it wouldn't last, so it was time to see to her future.
*Maybe it'll even be marriage one day,* she thought with a wistful smile, determinedly pushing an image of Tommy's lean features to the back of her mind. She'd buried that particular dream a long time ago - which was why she had refused to date him again since their reconciliation last year. *No use stirring up something that will hurt us both - again.*
Carrying a glass of soda into her small living room, she was just about to sit down when the doorbell rang.
"Who the heck is that?" she grumbled. A quick glance at her watch showed her it was past nine pm; hardly the time for a social call. "Unless it's one of the gang . or an emergency." The thought propelled her to the door. Pressing the buzzer without thinking, she waited for her visitor to come out of the elevator. When the sliding doors opened and a tall figure walked purposely towards her apartment, Kim suddenly went weak in the knees.
"Oh God."
It was Tommy. And his hard, anguished expression and the stormy brown eyes told her exactly why he had come.
*He knows.*
To Be Continued ...
Letters 2: Disclosures
Tanya to Trini
" . Trini, I can't tell you how much I appreciate you guys throwing a bridal shower for me; and I'm truly glad that we'll be getting to know each other some more. You've been so helpful about everything to do with traditions and stuff! Thank you! Anyway, as Adam and I will be moving into a bigger place right after the wedding, my folks have offered to host the shower at their home; I hope you all won't mind my mom being there, too. I've told her so much about all of you, she's dying to meet you. ."
"Welcome," Mrs. Sloane called as the four female ex-Rangers climbed out of Kim's car in the wide driveway. The girls greeted her and Tanya, then started unloading a number of mysterious packages from the trunk that made Tanya's eyes widen with curiosity.
"Are those for me?" she asked.
"No, for the Salvation Army," Kat quipped. "We always gift-wrap our donations. Of course they're for you, silly."
"Ooh . let me see!" Eagerly, Tanya reached for a flat box tied with a big, shiny yellow bow.
"Later, Tanya," Mrs. Sloane recalled her excited daughter to her duties as hostess/guest of honor with a smile that was both indulgent and slightly reproachful. "You're worse than you used to be at age five on Christmas morning!"
"You mean she's changed since then?" Aisha deadpanned. Tanya pouted as her mother pretended to consider the question, then slowly shook her head no, and the six women burst out laughing, creating an instant camaraderie that transcended age. It was easy to see for the others from where Tanya had inherited both her down-to-earth ways and her charm. Mrs. Sloane led the way into the cool foyer.
"Let's see if my scientific training lets me get all your names right. Katherine I already know, of course," she winked at the blonde Australian, "Aisha is pretty obvious - how is Ashala, Dear? You must tell me everything about her and the village if we have a minute! Tanya's told me that Trini is the nice Asian who knows all about Buddhist weddings, so that means you must be Kimberly the gymnast," she concluded, grinning down on a delighted Kim.
"That's right, Mrs. Sloane," the petite brunette laughed, liking the humor. "Brilliant deduction!"
"Oh, call me Ella," the older woman offered to all, ushering the girls through a spacious living area onto the sunny terrace, where refreshments and canapés had been set out under a large umbrella. "What?" she twinkled innocently, as she noticed Aisha's incredulous look.
"I'm sorry, but . but you don't really look like an Ella to me," the dark-skinned girl said apologetically. "No offense!"
"None taken," Ella Sloane chuckled. "You're hardly the first to think that."
"Mom's full name is Eleanor," Tanya stage-whispered with a grin, dodging her mother's half-hearted swat expertly. "Named after Eleanor Roosevelt. Only, she's always hated the name . but loves jazz, and especially Ella Fitzgerald's music, so ."
"Names can be awful," Trini nodded, instantly at ease under the friendly banter. She gently slapped Tanya's hands away from a gaily-wrapped package and put it under her chair for later. "You have NO idea how often I've been asked what my full name is; everybody always assumes that 'Trini' is an abbreviation of something. Like Katrina."
"You think it's easier with a name like mine?" Kat commented with a long- suffering sigh. "Katherine has to be the one name with more variations than any other. Well, maybe Elizabeth comes close, but ..." She shrugged. "There's Katy, Kathy, Kathleen, Kaitlin ..."
"Not to mention the really cutesy ones, like Kitty," Kimberly smirked, knowing how much Kat hated that particular diminutive.
"Don't remind me," the blonde shuddered dramatically. "Kat was definitely the lesser evil. Of course, now I have to put up with all the cat jokes ."
"Well, we could always go back to calling you PC," Kim suggested straight- faced, only to squeal in pretend fright when Kat growled menacingly and took a swipe at her with her hands shaped into claws.
"Mwrrroooooaaaarrrrrrrrrr!"
"HELP!"
"Tough luck, Kim; you're all on your own against the Pink Panther," Aisha snickered, then nearly fell off her chair when Kat turned towards her with a mock-ferocious scowl. "Um . maybe not. Anybody got some catnip?"
"Try this," Tanya wheezed, nearly doubled over with laughter as she passed around a tray with filled champagne flutes. "I've heard say it soothes even the most savage of beasts!"
"Who're you calling a beast?!?"
Tanya's answer was lost as Ella Sloane went back to the kitchen for some cheese puffs; she shook her head in silent amusement. *These girls! Grown, successful women each, and yet as silly as high school sophomores! Me likes!* No wonder Tanya had been so insistent to have her friends at the wedding, even though Kat and Kimberly would be sticking out like sore thumbs among all the Parks, Kims, Sloanes and Henrys. *Well, there's no helping it. Besides, with Adam's friends also there, they won't be the only Caucasians present. And it doesn't really matter, anyway.* If there was one thing Adam and Tanya's family had in common, it was the lack of racial prejudice. It made for a very pleasant foundation on which to build a closer relationship; Ella was very much looking forward to discussing various Korean historical sites with Adam's great aunt Midori.
~*~
There was much laughter and plain girlish silliness as the women consumed the delicious food and sipped their drinks; they'd switched to non- alcoholic punch after that first glass of champagne because they didn't need anything else to enjoy themselves. The girls could reminisce to their hearts' content as Mrs. Sloane knew about their former 'day jobs', and she enjoyed the funny memories related by the longer-serving Rangers as much as Tanya.
At one point, she looked at the younger women admiringly. "You know . ever since Tanya rescued us from Mysterio Island and revealed her identity to us, I've admired what you all did, but to get to know you like this . it's truly been an experience. Let me say just this once that I'm very glad my daughter has found friends like you. I've always wanted that for her, and it's a privilege to see how much you all like each other."
There were a few pleased yet embarrassed smiles, but then Kat spoke up.
"Thank you. But if there ever was a privilege, it was really ours; I don't know if I'd be the person I've become if it hadn't been for meeting the gang and getting chosen to be a Ranger." Aisha and Tanya nodded; they, too had once joined the team as newcomers. Kimberly and Trini exchanged a look.
"Don't make us into anything more than we were," the slender Asian said thoughtfully. "Sure, Kim and I were friends, but I don't know that we would have grown this close without Zordon. Before ."
"Before, we were typical teenage girls; concerned about boys, clothes, being popular . well, Trini also cared about her schoolwork," Kimberly grinned. "I was . kinda shallow. Doing, like, the Valley Girl stuff?" she drawled in an imitation of her former ways, making the others smile. "I had to grow out of that fast enough, and let me tell you, I don't regret it. Not for a second."
"None of us do," Aisha concurred. "I mean, I liked hanging out with Rocky and Adam, being one of the guys and everything, but I've learned so much through becoming a Ranger - I feel as if I've really changed into a better person."
"Which is something not many people can say of themselves, especially at such a relatively young age," Ella said. Once again, she marvelled at the quirks of fate that had led Tanya to Angel Grove and her friends. She felt that no matter what, her daughter would always have someone to count on. It made her own life as an anthropologist - which often meant going on expeditions into remote, and sometimes dangerous, areas - that much easier, knowing that Tanya wouldn't be alone if something ever should happen to her or her husband. Dispelling the suddenly rather somber mood with a bright smile, Ella refilled a couple of glasses, then leaned back in her chair.
"Isn't it time for the male stripper yet?" she asked nonchalantly, enjoying the looks of stunned disbelief on the girls' faces at her outrageous question. "That's sort of traditional for a bachelorette party like this, isn't it? Don't tell me you've forgotten to arrange for one!"
Blushing hotly, Kat cleared her throat. She didn't dare look at any of the others. "Um, well, I, ah, I guess ."
"What a pity. And I was so looking forward to it," Ella said blandly.
"Mom! What would Dad say if he heard you?!?" Tanya gasped. She knew her mother could be rather unconventional sometimes, but surely she didn't believe .
Ella grinned. "You really want to know? I think he'd watch the guy very carefully, then take him aside and lecture him about the significance of formal stripping of clothes and the tradition of related mating rituals among the natives of Papua-New Guinea. Or some other place like that. Thereby completely missing the point of the show."
Tanya suddenly began to giggle. "Yeah, that sounds like Dad, alright!"
Mrs. Sloane sighed melodramatically. "I love your father dearly, but sometimes . he just doesn't have a clue." She shook her head in resignation.
Kim, Kat, Aisha and Trini had overcome their own surprise by now. They, too, started to laugh.
"You know, I bet I could probably name a couple of guys who are just like that," Kim smirked.
"Oh yeah," Aisha laughed. She started ticking names off her fingers. "Let's see . in alphabetical order, that'd be Adam, Billy ."
".Jason, Justin, Rocky, Tommy ." Kat added, and the others nodded sagely.
"Pathetic, as we used to say, right, Kim?" Trini concluded, then reached for the package she'd hidden from Tanya earlier. "Well . maybe this will help you to make Adam less clueless." With a knowing smile, she handed the box over.
Eagerly, Tanya took off the lid and looked at the contents - aromatic oils, creams and massage lotions. As soon as she realized what was the likely purpose of the gift, she blushed.
"Oh my .!"
With a naughty giggle, Kat produced the box with the yellow bow. "I believe this might go well with that!"
"Ooh-là-là!" Kim cooed as Tanya unfolded a lacy baby-doll nightie that clearly would leave very little to Adam's imagination. "NICE!"
"I'll say," Aisha put forth drily. "If you wear that, the poor boy won't know what hit him."
By now, Tanya's initial embarrassment had given way to laughter. "Don't worry, I know enough to revive him if he has heart failure," she chuckled as she continued to unpack her friends' presents, which ranged from the useful to the silly. Comments and suggestions about their use were flying fast and furiously, when Ella excused herself and went inside to answer the shrilling phone. It took her quite a while to return to the patio, and when she did, her dark skin had a greyish cast, and her eyes looked terrified. It was such a contrast to the vibrant personality she had shown before that Kimberly, who happened to glance her way, couldn't suppress a small exclamation of surprise.
"Ella, what is it?"
Tanya looked up from admiring a pair of crystal candlesticks and nearly shattered them in her haste to rush to her mother's side as she noticed tears streaming down the usually strong, vital face.
"Mom!"
Carefully, she guided Ella to her chair. Trini quickly poured some leftover champagne into a glass and made the older woman take a sip or two. The others gathered around, anxiously waiting to see if they could help their hostess. Gradually, Mrs. Sloane calmed down enough to look at her daughter.
"Tanya . oh my God, baby ." Fresh tears spilled over, and Kat fumbled for a handkerchief, giving it to Tanya who was getting increasingly worried.
"What's wrong? Has something happened to Dad?"
"No . no, your father's fine," Ella hiccuped. Something about the way she said it sent a shiver down Tanya's spine.
"Then what is it?" she urged.
With an effort, Ella made herself relax. Briefly, she considered saying nothing, but one look into the five concerned faces around her changed her mind. Having seen the close ties among the group of young women, she realized they'd learn about it anyway; they might as well hear it now.
"I . that was my doctor's office who just called," she began haltingly. "You know I had a check-up recently, for that dig we're supposed to go on this fall? Anyway, the test results are in, and . oh God, Tanya, they found I've g-got . I've got cancer!" Ella started to cry once more. "We had so many plans still, Gabe and I . now this! What if I'm going to die? Who will look after him, go along with him on the expeditions? And you." She lifted haunted eyes to her shocked daughter. "I had hoped to see you have babies of your own; who will be there for you if you need me and I'm gone?"
Tanya started to cry, too. Helplessly, all she could do was embrace her mother.
"Mom . oh Mom, I don't know! It seems as if I've only just found you - I can't lose you again!"
The four young women exchanged looks. They all wanted to help, but how could they? An illness like this . this was beyond their experience. Kat tentatively reached out to her best friend, trying to comfort her, but seemingly couldn't get through to Tanya, who held on to Ella as both wept, oblivious to their surroundings.
~*~
Trini, Aisha, Kim and Kat withdrew slightly, giving mother and daughter some privacy, but kept close enough to be there should their assistance be required. They exchanged uneasy glances, not quite daring to express their feelings at this unexpected and most unwelcome event, but finally Aisha could stand the strained silence no longer.
"God, I wish there was something we could do to make it easier," she murmured.
"There's really nothing one can do in a situation like this," Trini whispered sadly.
Kat nodded, her own voice tight with emotion. "I doubt anyone can, unless they've gone already through something like it."
Kimberly heard her friends, but remained silent, her expression shuttered and distanced. The brown eyes were fixed intently on the older woman, her usually smooth forehead crunched up in a tiny frown as she just stood at the edge of the group. Her whole stance seemed to indicate she was waiting for something, but for what, nobody could say. When Aisha was about to comment, Trini stopped her with a small shake of her head. "Let her be," she suggested quietly. "Kim probably doesn't know what to say, either."
That brought the first Pink Ranger out of her apparent paralysis.
"But I do," Kat heard her say under her breath. "I do know."
The Australian thought she had misunderstood. *I MUST have. How would Kim know.and know WHAT?* "Kim? What do you mean?" she wondered, but got no answer as the petite young woman slowly approached Tanya and her mother. Crouching before the chair, Kimberly gently touched Ella's knee.
"Ella?"
The older woman sniffled, then visibly tried to collect her wits. "I'm sorry," she choked. "I didn't want to spoil the mood, but . " Another sob caught in her throat.
"Mom's always been simply terrified by any kind of sickness," Tanya explained through her own tears. "She just has no control over her reactions, at least not right away."
"That's quite okay, Tanya," Kim gave her friend a quick, understanding smile, but brought her attention back towards Mrs. Sloane right away. "I'd just like to ask your mom a few questions, if she doesn't mind."
"Kim, I don't think this is the time -" Trini was about to interrupt, but Ella drew in a deep, shuddering breath.
"No, no, it's okay. Maybe that'll distract me a little." She attempted a brave smile as she ineffectually wiped her wet cheeks. "What do you want to know, Dear?"
Kim inhaled shakily. It took all her courage and resolve not to falter now, knowing that she was going to expose much more of herself, of her past crisis than she'd ever intended, but she really liked Tanya's mother, and if there was any way, any way at all that she could help, at least a bit . it'd be more than worth it. *She needs my help. Just as I needed it then.* And she couldn't turn her back now. Not when there was something she could do. *It's little enough, after all .* Making her voice as gentle as she could, Kimberly took a cold hand between her own trembling fingers and waited until the dark eyes met hers.
"Ella . what exactly did your doctor say? What kind of cancer do you have - where in your body is it, I mean?"
Surprised, Ella recalled what she'd been told. It was difficult; she'd been so shocked, but she made the attempt nonetheless. "The nurse said it was in my ovaries . I have a tumor in my right ovary." She stifled another sob.
"And do they think they can operate?" Kimberly was speaking in a deliberately soothing tone. Her whole demeanour, asking quietly for information, had a visibly calming effect on Ella.
"Y-yes, I think so. Of course, they can't be sure without further tests, but Dr. Isaacs seemed to be somewhat optimistic about that."
"That's good. Keep that in mind," Kim requested, smiling reassuringly as she got up and sat down in a chair next to the other woman. Gradually, giving Ella all the time she needed, the gymnast got the details of her illness out into the open. The others wondered about this; while they knew Kim as compassionate and concerned, it was unlike her to press like this for obviously painful details.
*Bad enough, but not hopeless,* Kimberly thought when Tanya's mother finally wound down. *Much like it was for me.*
"Thanks. I know how difficult this must've been for you." Oh, HOW she knew!
She then reached for her purse and extracted a pen and a small notepad. From memory, Kim then wrote down a couple of 0-800 numbers and handed the note to Mrs. Sloane.
"You might give one or both of these places a call, when you feel like it," she said gently. At the questioning look she received, Kim explained, "They're numbers for support groups for women diagnosed with cancer - especially in the uterus and other female areas. They have nurses there, doctors, psychologists . and most of all other women who have gone through exactly what you're going through now. Any questions you have, they'll give you answers, honestly and in detail. And most importantly, in terms everybody can understand. You'll get no Latin phrases from them.
"Trust me on this? I wouldn't give you these numbers if I didn't think it might help. You can give my name as reference, too."
Bemusedly, Ella took the piece of paper and turned it over a few times in her hands. Her mind, recovering from the initial shock, was already coming up with any number of questions she desperately wanted answers to.
"Th-thanks. I think I will give them a call - tomorrow, maybe, when I've calmed down a little."
"That's okay," Kim smiled, relieved her offer hadn't been rejected out of hand. "Just do it whenever you're ready to get your answers."
Tanya also gave her friend a grateful, slightly wobbly smile. For her, it was enough to see her mother not quite so distraught anymore.
"Thanks, Kim."
Then, a thought struck her.
"But say - how do you know about these help lines? You didn't even have to look them up; did someone in your family have cancer, too?"
Kimberly briefly closed her eyes, echoes of the agony she'd gone through seven years ago shadowing her mind.
*This is it.*
The moment she'd dreaded had arrived at last. She'd never wanted her friends' pity, but knew that the time had come to reveal her secret. A look into the haunted eyes of Tanya's mother decided her. *For Ella. For every woman in the same situation.*
Drawing a deep, fortifying breath, Kim shared her truth.
"Not 'someone in my family'. Me."
There was a stunned silence, broken at last by Trini's incredulous whisper.
"WHAT?!?"
Meeting her oldest friend's shocked eyes, Kim's voice was brittle but quite calm.
"Yes. I had cervical cancer."
~*~
Aisha, Kat, Tanya and Trini looked askance at their friend, then Aisha and Trini surged forward as one, enfolding her in a fierce hug. Kat wasn't far behind; only Tanya stayed with her mother, but reached out to the first Pink Ranger as well.
"Good God, Kim, when? What happened? Why didn't you tell us?"
The questions tumbled over each other; it was impossible to tell who asked what, but Kim didn't mind - because in the eyes fixed on her she didn't find the pity she'd feared, but compassion and deep concern instead.
*How stupid and wrong I was . then .*
Accepting the comfort she'd so longed for at the time but hadn't dared ask for, Kim felt a few tears roll down her own cheeks. She wiped them quickly away.
"It's okay, guys. I'm okay. Now."
Reaching for composure, Trini sat back, but kept an arm around Kim's slender shoulders.
"What happened?" she repeated. "Can you tell us?"
Kimberly nodded, suddenly relieved that she could tell everything at last. Swallowing the lump which had formed inside of her, she started to speak.
"It was a few months after I'd started training with Coach Schmidt; during the team physicals, the doctor found some irregularities ."
Haltingly, she recounted everything - how she'd hoped against hope that the diagnosis was wrong, but was disappointed in that. How she'd decided to keep silent, not wanting to worry her friends and distract them from their duty as Rangers. Although she tried to hide it, the others knew her well enough to read between the lines how afraid and lonely she must've felt, dealing with this blow all by herself.
"God, Kim," Trini whispered, hugging her. "I wish you would have told me. Or any of us, really."
Thankfully, Kimberly returned the embrace. "I couldn't. Not at the time," she replied. "It was all I could do to call my mom."
"I think I understand," Kat said softly. "If it had been me . maybe I would have done the same." Slowly, with dawning recognition, she turned towards her predecessor as something clicked in her mind.
"Kim . does Tommy know?"
The question hung in the air as the significance seeped into the girls' consciousness. With bated breath, they waited for an answer they already knew deep inside. And it came as no big surprise to any of them when Kimberly's pale face colored a delicate shade of pink as she shook her head.
"N-no."
~*~
"So that's why she broke up with him," Aisha said to Trini and Kat during a three-way phone call later that night, after they'd all gone home. "I've always wondered."
"Yes," Trini commented. "It always seemed so out of character for her ."
"They were so much in love; even a blind person could see it. I mean, it's not all that unusual for a couple to drift apart through separation." Kat recalled how her own relationship with Tommy had ended, absurdly pleased that she could do so with only a small, wistful smile. "But for Kim to fall for someone else? I'd always wondered."
"You weren't the only one," Trini concurred. The three young women discussed the startling revelations of the day a while longer before they determinedly turned their thoughts back to more pleasant events - namely Adam and Tanya's wedding, which was only a few weeks away. It was quite late before each of them found rest.
~*~
Kim talked to Ella Sloane a few more times in the days after Tanya's bridal shower, pleased that the older woman would seek out her advice. Sharing her own experience with her was far easier than she'd thought it would be, and in doing so found a measure of gratitude that she could finally pass on some of the help she had been given while still a teenager.
Tonight, she was planning on spending a quiet evening watching TV; she'd had an exhausting day at Angel Grove University, where she was doing course work to obtain her coaching license. Now that there were fresh 'stars' coming up on the gymnastics scene, Kim had decided to fall back on her old dream of teaching. She still enjoyed minor celebrity status, but knew it wouldn't last, so it was time to see to her future.
*Maybe it'll even be marriage one day,* she thought with a wistful smile, determinedly pushing an image of Tommy's lean features to the back of her mind. She'd buried that particular dream a long time ago - which was why she had refused to date him again since their reconciliation last year. *No use stirring up something that will hurt us both - again.*
Carrying a glass of soda into her small living room, she was just about to sit down when the doorbell rang.
"Who the heck is that?" she grumbled. A quick glance at her watch showed her it was past nine pm; hardly the time for a social call. "Unless it's one of the gang . or an emergency." The thought propelled her to the door. Pressing the buzzer without thinking, she waited for her visitor to come out of the elevator. When the sliding doors opened and a tall figure walked purposely towards her apartment, Kim suddenly went weak in the knees.
"Oh God."
It was Tommy. And his hard, anguished expression and the stormy brown eyes told her exactly why he had come.
*He knows.*
To Be Continued ...
