Note: Did you think the last cliffhanger was evil? *malicious grin* Wait 'til you read this part . heeheehee. This thing is finally drawing to a close; if all goes well, I'll be done by the end of the year. Please send me feedback? (Death threats will be summarily ignored, however .) DB, Dec. 2001



Letters 2: Wedding Bells?

By

Dagmar Buse





Kim closed her eyes briefly, wanting nothing more right now than to be able to flee, to run away as fast and as far away as possible, but she stood her ground. Her time for running was long past.

Instead, she slowly opened the door to her apartment. It took every ounce of willpower she had, but she managed to meet Tommy's eyes. What she read in them formed a cold ball of dread in her stomach and bled all color from her features. *God, he's so mad .!* But Kim admitted to herself that Tommy had a right to be, after everything she'd put him through and kept from him. Sighing inwardly, she tried to steel herself against the explosion she was sure was coming. A seeming eternity that may have lasted just a few heartbeats passed, then she stepped aside, mutely inviting him in.

Tommy controlled himself with an effort; his emotions hadn't been in such a turmoil since the day Kim had sent him her letter. Which apparently had been one giant lie. Right now, he couldn't even say what enraged him more - the fact that she'd hidden her illness from him, that she'd lied about it, or that she'd apparently used it as an excuse to dump him. Once again, all he could think was 'Why? Why did she do this?', and it wasn't making him any happier the second time around.

Striding past the petite brunette, ignoring her pale face and scared expression, Tommy entered the cosy living room and stopped near the window, staring into the gathering darkness while he waited for Km to follow him. Subconsciously, he heard her close the front door, the soft 'click' of the light switch being turned off, her muted footfalls on the wall-to-wall carpeting as Kimberly came after him. She stayed near the door, and when he finally turned around to look at her, she was leaning against the jamb, her arms crossed behind her back as if she needed the wall to hold her upright. Kim's skin looked whiter right now than Kat's ever had; her brown eyes were frightened, but at the same time it seemed to Tommy as if there was also a hint of relief in their depths. Forcing his vocal chords to operate, Tommy blurted out what was foremost in his mind.

"How could you?" he rasped.

Kim didn't answer, just flinched slightly and averted her eyes.

"How could you do this?" he repeated, more forcefully this time. "To me? More importantly, to us? And why did I have to hear it from Rocky - who got it from Adam, through Tanya? That's not even second-hand, that's . that's . Hell, I can't even count that far tonight!" he fumed. "Dammit, Kim, stop hiding already and tell me the whole truth! I think I deserve it, after all this time and everything you put me through!"

"Yes, you do," Kimberly managed to choke out, on the verge of tears. "Tommy, I ."

She had to look away again, or she would've broken down there and then. Shakily, Kim breathed deeply a few times until she was able to continue.

"I did what I thought I had to do, at the time," she said wearily. "There was nothing you, or Zordon, or any of the others for that matter, could have done. I knew that all too well. And I also knew I couldn't bear your pity."

"Pity?!? Kim, did you really know me that little?" Tommy exploded. "I loved you! I all but asked you to marry me! I would have been there for you, through thick and thin - just as we used to do as Rangers. But you . you couldn't wait to kick me out of your life. You didn't even give me the chance to prove that to you!"

"I didn't have to," Kimberly replied, so softly Tommy nearly didn't hear her. "I knew."

He started as her words registered, but they didn't do much to calm his thoughts.

"Yeah, right. If you did, you had a damned funny way of showing it," he muttered, still angry. Wrestling his injured feelings back with difficulty, Tommy scowled. "Okay. Let's say you did know. Call me dumb, but I don't get it. Spell it out for me if you have to. If you really knew I wouldn't leave you, why did you dump me?"

Kim opened her mouth, but before she could speak, Tommy held up a cautioning hand.

"Don't give me some crock about my duty to the team again," he warned. "I had responsibilities, yes, we both did, but we could have worked something out. If we'd both tried. You didn't even do that. So, one more time, Kim - why?"

The petite brunette finally let go of the wall and wandered across the softly-lit room, to a sideboard which held an array of pictures - the 'first' team, the 'second' one with Aisha, Rocky and Adam, her family, her team at the PanGlobals . the moment her medal was placed around her neck . she fingered the frames nervously, shifting and rearranging them senselessly until she'd gathered her thoughts. Then, Kim looked over her shoulder at Tommy.

"I wasn't exactly being very rational at the time," she confessed. "There was too much getting piled on top of me, one thing after another. My reasons . then, I thought I had some. Not very good ones in retrospect, maybe, but they were all I had." Kim paused for a much-needed breath. "Why didn't I call you? Or anyone else, aside from my mom? Because of a number of things." She started ticking them off the fingers of one hand, one by one.

"Because I was seventeen and had just been diagnosed with a potentially fatal illness. Because I was all alone, thousands of miles away from everything and everybody I loved. Because I was overworked and exhausted, both physically and mentally. Because I missed you and needed you and didn't dare ask for your help." Here she paused, swallowed and lowered her head, staring at her hands which had returned to the picture frames, grasping a photograph of herself and Tommy hand in hand in the park - a reminder of the time when they'd been young and carefree and so very much in love. Incidentally, it was the one Kat had stolen a copy of while she was still Rita's pawn. Kim had never been able to tuck it away, along with all the other mementoes of their time together. Quietly, she admitted to the last reason she'd had for writing the 'Dear Tommy' letter.

"Because I was afraid that over time, when you'd realize that I . that I wasn't a whole woman anymore, you would stop loving me and leave me."

~*~

Tommy had halfway expected the other reasons Kim had enumerated; the rational part of his now-adult mind had already supplied him with them. But he hadn't expected to hear Kim say this.

"That's the most idiotic thing I've heard in my life," he exclaimed. "Kim, how could you be so damned STUPID???"

The one-time Pink Ranger laughed humorlessly, bitterly.

"How? By tearing my heart out, piece by piece." Suddenly angry, she whirled to face her ex-boyfriend.

"You think it was easy for me to write you that letter? Yes, it was stupid, yes, I regretted it almost the second I dropped it into the mailbox, but trust me, you weren't the only one who was hurt by it. I needed you, Tommy! I needed you so much it scared me almost as much as the idea of having cancer. I almost called the airport to take the next flight home, but what good would that have done? I still would have been sick, you still couldn't have done anything, and I still had some sense of duty left."

Her anger left Kim as quickly as it had come.

"After I'd written that letter, duty and responsibility were the only things I had left," she murmured tiredly. "That, and . I didn't want to die. I needed to concentrate what strength remained with me to get through the games and face the operation afterwards. So, I broke up with you. I knew I was hurting you; heck, I was hurting so much myself, I could barely see straight. I just thought ." The doe eyes closed, trying to hold back the tears. Anguished, Kim bit her lower lip.

The mannerism moved Tommy like nothing else could have done. As in the days of their romance, it made him want to kiss away the faint teeth marks on the rosy lips, to soothe the small hurt. He moved towards Kim, stopping a few feet away from her - not quite ready yet to forgive everything and take her into his arms, although something within him told him in no uncertain terms to forget about all else and do just that.

*No. Not . not yet.*

"Thought - what, Kim?" he asked, his own voice rough with emotion. Tommy sensed, deep within, that Kim's answer would give him a necessary piece to the puzzle that had evaded him for so long.

Suddenly weary of hiding, Kimberly dropped the last of her defenses. Raising her gaze to the chocolate eyes, she gave him that final truth. At last.

"I thought . if I hurt you a little by sending you that letter, I could keep you from being hurt even more later, when you found out I wasn't whole anymore," she whispered. "All I wanted was for you to be happy. And if I couldn't make you happy, maybe you'd find someone else who could ." her ragged voice trailed off at the look of mingled exasperation and anger.

"You hurt me more than 'a little'," Tommy said sternly. "And you should have known that it was you who made me happy - not somebody else!"

Kim sighed.

"A part of me did know, but . I couldn't believe anymore."

"Why, Kim? Didn't you trust me at all?" Tommy asked, fresh pain evident in the question.

"Yes ."

"Then WHY?!?" he demanded again.

"I don't know anymore, except for what I just told you," the gymnast sobbed.

The choked sound proved to be too much for Tommy. Kim rarely cried, but when she did, he couldn't stand it - not then, nor now. With a curse muttered under his breath, he closed the remaining distance between the two of them and pulled Kimberly roughly into his arms. *Where she belongs.*

"C'mere," he said simply.

Kim stiffened as she felt those strong arms she'd longed for so often and so long in the depths of her heart close around her back, then lost the fight against her tears. Pressing her face into a muscular shoulder, she wept, her slender body shaking with the force of her sobs.

"God, Kim," Tommy murmured as he held her. "Sshhh."

Kim only cried harder.

"Don't," he begged, but she didn't hear him. So, Tommy looked around, locating the two-seater couch against the near wall, and tried to maneuver Kim towards it. However, the young woman seemed incapable of any movement but to clutch harder at his shirt. Without thinking, Tommy did what he would have done seven years ago - he simply scooped Kim up and carried her over, sinking into the soft upholstery with Kim still held in his arms. He leaned back and waited for the emotional storm to pass, feeling curiously as if Kim's tears were washing away most of the anger and pain still lingering in his own heart. When the racking sobs finally started to subside, Tommy stroked the so-soft caramel hair, crooning nonsense words that calmed her down even further.

At long last, Kim relaxed with a tired sigh. Her eyes closed, she nestled against his chest, trustingly like a child as her tears dried on her pale cheeks. She couldn't remember when she'd last felt this content, safe and protected . yes, she could. *The night before I left for Florida. When we promised each other that nothing could tear us apart. Ever.*

Fate had compelled her to break that promise; it was a mistake Kim vowed never to make again, if she was only given one last chance to make things right. For now, she would enjoy being back in Tommy's arms for as long as it lasted; this was just so right, somehow .

For his part, Tommy continued to rock the slim young woman gently, memories of other times spent like this uppermost in his mind. There was still some anger, but it receded gradually, to be replaced by a sensation of . rightness . that felt like nothing ever had before. *Not true. The first time I kissed her. or the day I told her 'I love you' for the first time.* Deciding to just go with the flow for now, Tommy deliberately blanked out the world. Nothing mattered but the two of them. *Like it was meant to be.*

Perhaps it was.

~*~

Lost in their thoughts, Tommy and Kim continued to sit like this for a small eternity. Sniffling a little, Kim finally dared to lift her eyes to Tommy's.

"I'm so sorry," she hiccuped. *God, this is SO lame!* But she had no other words to express what was in her heart. Would it be enough? His next words allayed her fear.

"It's okay, Kim. I understand," Tommy replied. Much to his surprise, it was. And he did. The look of surprised gratitude he received was a more than ample reward. So was the feeling of peace flooding his being at that moment. From the tiny sigh Kim emitted and the way she melted into him, she was experiencing pretty much the same thing.

Both fell quiet again, savoring their re-found closeness, until something that had been nagging at the back of Tommy's mind demanded attention. He debated silently whether he should bring it up at all; after such a long time, it wasn't really important anymore, but .

*As long as we're clearing the air, we might as well go all the way,* Tommy decided. He cleared his throat.

"Kim?"

The gentle question brought Kimberly out of her pleasant, dream-like state in which Tommy would go on holding her like this for forever.

"Yes?" she answered.

"In that letter you sent me . you mentioned you had found another guy," Tommy murmured, feeling slightly foolish about asking this after what he'd learned tonight. But he couldn't help it; although he suspected strongly by now there hadn't been anyone else, there was an unease he finally identified as . jealousy. *Uh-oh.*

Tommy swallowed surreptitiously.

*Does that mean I still care about Kim? More than that, that I'm still in love with her?* Amazed at himself, he shook his head. *Who am I kidding? Of COURSE I do. Am. Oh boy.*

Before the young man could deal with this sudden discovery, he was distracted by Kim starting to squirm somewhat uncomfortably as she blushed a really quite becoming shade of pink. Pleased, he noted that she didn't try to move out of his loose embrace.

"I, um, I sorta made him up," she confessed haltingly, very much not looking at Tommy.

"Why would you do that?" he wondered, honestly confused.

Kim sighed. "I . this is gonna sound really weird, I know . I was sure that if you believed I was happy, if I'd truly found somebody else, you wouldn't come for me and ask for explanations I couldn't - well, didn't want to give," she explained. "By telling you that, I knew I not only would crush your feelings, but your pride, too. If I did that, you wouldn't confront me or call me; you'd just let me go. It was the only way I could come up with to keep you at a distance." She blushed guiltily. "It worked, too, didn't it?"

"Better than you probably expected," Tommy admitted, chagrined. He'd reacted exactly as Kim had predicted he would.

"I did know you pretty well after all," Kim said shyly, sneaking a peek up at the lean features. Tommy didn't look too angry, did he?

"Yeah." He exhaled gustily. There was a strange dichotomy in the situation - that on the one hand, Kim could have played him so well, and on the other that she could have assumed even for a second that he would have left her for something that wasn't her fault. He turned his head slightly and caught a hopeful look Kim dared send his way.

"I'm sorry," she repeated. "I promise I won't do it again." The childlike phrase surprised a small snort of laughter out of him.

"Promise you won't do what again?" he asked, unable to suppress a tiny smile.

"Lie to you. Not trust you. Hide stuff from you. Leave you."

That last promise was scarcely more than a whisper, but Kimberly might as well have shouted at the top of her lungs, it echoed so in Tommy's mind and heart.

Cautiously, Tommy surrendered to the feeling, opening his heart just a crack.

"Kim . to do that, you'd have to come back to me first ." he murmured.

"I . I know ."

*Is this what I want? Yes.*

"Would . would you want to?"

Kim sat up slowly, kneeling on the couch and gazing deeply into Tommy's so-serious eyes. She could hardly believe what she'd heard.

"W-would you want m-me back, then? Even after everything that happened?" she breathed, hope and fear warring in her expression.

Suddenly, Tommy was very sure. Firmly, he nodded.

"Yes."

Kimberly began to tremble as new tears spilled down her cheeks, coursing down the smooth skin in silvery rivulets. Her lips quivered as she vainly tried to form words that wouldn't come. But her eyes lit with such joy from within that Tommy didn't need to hear anything; he just reached out a not- quite-steady hand and tenderly brushed the salty droplets away. Both his arms and his heart were opened wide, to make room for the one who belonged there.

"I love you, Kim. I never really stopped. Please come back to me."

"T-tommy," she whispered. "I love you, too ."

She leaned forward. He drew her towards him.

Their lips met in a very gentle butterfly kiss, hardly enough to let their breaths mingle. It was enough, though, to chase away the last doubt either had. Laughing and crying at the same time, they fell into each others' arms and kissed again. And again .

~*~

Kat sat alone at the friends' table, looking out on the dance floor at Adam and Tanya's wedding. It had been a beautiful ceremony, and she was genuinely delighted for her best friend. Right now, however, her attention was fixed not on the radiant bride and groom, but on another couple swaying gently to the music, totally absorbed in each other. If there had been any doubt that Tommy and Kimberly were together again, the way they danced dispelled that even for the most unobservant wedding guest.

The gang had been surprised, but ecstatic for them. Kim and Tommy's happiness seemed to spill over and engulf all of them.

*Everybody but me.* Kat frowned; she wasn't that petty, was she? *No. Just feeling sorry for myself, I guess.*

With a tiny sigh, the blonde lifted her glass in a silent salute - to what exactly, she didn't know herself - then took a small sip. She continued to watch the dancers, lost in her private thoughts and didn't notice the approach of a dark-clad figure who slid into a chair next to hers. She started as a large hand came to rest on her fingers. Tearing her eyes away from the oblivious Kim and Tommy, she met the compassionate dark eyes of his best friend.

"Are you okay?" Jason asked warmly, his concern touching.

Kat lowered her head momentarily, but found a small smile when she looked back up.

"Yes. Truly, I am," she confirmed when he raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"Are you sure? You seemed kinda sad right now."

Her smile vanished, and a faint blush tinged her porcelain cheeks pink. Kat sighed once more.

"I . I guess I am - a little, anyway," she admitted. Before Jason could comment, she went on. "Don't get me wrong; I'm very glad for Tommy. And for Kim, too; they deserve to be happy again after what they went through. But . seeing them back together, I can't help remembering that I used to be very much in love with Tommy myself at one time."

Jason pondered that for a minute. "And now you want him back?" he queried, his deep voice carefully neutral. To his surprise, Kat's smile reappeared, stronger now.

"Not really. What he and I shared has run its course, and I'm okay with that. Have been for a long time, actually."

"Then why the sad face?" he teased gently.

Kat thought it over; why was she feeling so sentimental all of a sudden, remembering all the dreams she had spun once about her and Tommy's future? The answer came to her gradually.

"Well . it's just, watching them, the way they can't seem to stop touching, how they sneak kisses when they think we won't notice . I can't help wish that I had that, too."

Her companion was puzzled. "I don't understand; you just said you didn't want Tommy back."

"And I don't." Searching for the right words, Kat took another swallow of her drink, to gain some time. "It's . it's more like, I wish I had what they have, you know? Someone to hold me, to dance with me like Tommy dances with Kim right now." She paused before whispering, "someone to be so in love with ."

"Oh." Understanding dawned, and the midnight eyes grew wistful for an instant. Jason had been single for quite a while now himself. But the expression was fleeting; soon, a hint of laughter lit them up again. "Then you're not jealous? Not even a teensy-tiny bit?"

Katherine laughed a little. It surprised her that sharing her feelings like this with Jason was so easy - and managed to lighten her mood. *He's such a good friend,* she thought gratefully.

*Handsome, too.*

The thought appeared out of nowhere, and startled the Australian. She'd never thought about her one-time teammate in quite this way before. But it felt . nice, somehow. Shaking herself mentally, she resumed their conversation.

"Jealous . no. But - can I admit to feeling just a bit . mm . envious, maybe?" she asked, wondering silently why Jason's opinion should suddenly matter so much.

He eyed her judiciously, and she had to fight a grin at his exaggerated mien.

"I guess," he drawled, then spoiled the effect by winking at her. "But just because it's you, mind," he added.

Both chuckled, then the broad-shouldered young man adroitly changed the subject to something completely different.

"Say, I keep meaning to ask you - I know you used to be a diver, but did you ever do any scuba diving?"

Taken aback by the non sequitur, Kat stuttered a little.

"I . y-yes, I . no, not scuba diving," she finally collected her wits again. "I used to go snorkeling a little, back home in Australia."

"Great," Jason said. "Um, did you ever go out to the Great Barrier Reef?" It was a diver's paradise, just off the Australian coast, and it was his dream to go there one day.

Kat laughed knowingly. "No. Too little time, really. But I've been to other places ." Soon, the two of them were engrossed in a discussion about the things they'd seen underwater, in various places around the world. They were both well-travelled, after all, and found that they had shared many experiences during the past few years.

On the dance floor, Kimberly nudged Tommy and pointed out their friends to him.

"Kat and Jason seem to enjoy each other's company," she smiled.

He sent a glance towards the blond and dark heads huddled close together, their faces bright and animated as they laughed about something Jason had said.

"Yeah. That's great." But Tommy's mind for once wasn't concerned about his friends at all. Not that he didn't care about Kat and Jason, it just was that he much preferred to concentrate on the petite reality in his arms. He stole a quick kiss, and succeeded in diverting Kim's attention back on him.

"Mmm. Don't stop," she purred.

"I don't plan to," he murmured, and started maneuvering them towards a secluded corner. Kim followed his lead willingy, eyes full of love.

~*~

It was the weekend after the Parks' wedding, and Kim was waiting for Tommy to pick her up for dinner. She'd taken special pains with her appearance, wearing a flirty sundress in pink patterns that left her shoulders bare and showed a good deal of leg.

*Just the way he likes it,* she thought with a private smile as she checked her hair and makeup one last time. Then her doorbell rang, and Kim hurried to the buzzer. She got her reward for the effort she'd made when Tommy whistled appreciatively at the sight of her.

"Wow."

Laughing delightedly, she whirled around once. "You like?" she asked, just a touch coyly.

"Mmm." Tommy caught her to him, and his kiss told Kim exactly how much he admired her looks.

Slightly breathless, not caring that she was looking somewhat mussed-up after his enthusiastic greeting, Kim reached for her tiny purse and slung the long strap cross-wise over one shoulder. Tucking her keys inside, she held out he hand invitingly. "Shall we go then? I'm famished!"

"Sure, Beautiful," he smiled, and Kim's heart sang at his easy use of his old nickname for her.

The two had a buffet-style dinner at a quaint Chinese restaurant, enjoying the variety of dishes on offer. They lingered over a glass of plum wine, talking about everything and nothing. There was a familiarity between them that made things go so much more smoothly than it had been the first time around as teenagers, while at the same time they were discovering changes in each other brought on by their separation, different experiences . and by simply growing up. They were adults now, free of the responsibilities of being Rangers, and both relished the maturity and freedom that offered.

However, as the evening progressed, Kimberly noticed that Tommy seemed to grow increasingly distracted. Instead of pouting, like she would have done at sixteen, she bided her time, and when they took a leisurely walk through a moonlit Angel Grove Park, she seized the opportunity to gently ask about Tommy's preoccupation.

"What's the matter, Tommy?" she murmured when they stopped and looked out over the lake.

"Huh?"

Kim chuckled, to show him she wasn't angry. "You seem to be miles away. I thought you'd, like, gotten out of your habit of forgetfulness," she teased.

Tommy laughed ruefully. "Yeah, well, I rather had to. In racing, forgetfulness can cost lives. That kind of cured me pretty fast."

"I can imagine," she answered with a delicate shudder. "But, you're not racing now ." Her voice trailed off hopefully.

"No." He smiled down on her. "I was just remembering last week," he said finally. "Tanya and Adam's wedding was really something, wasn't it?"

"Uh huh," Kim remembered fondly. "Tanya looked so gorgeous in her dress . the whole affair was such a beautiful mixture of their heritages . "

The doe eyes took on a dreamy expression, and that gave Tommy the courage he'd been searching for most of the evening. He draped an arm around Kim's shoulder, thrilled to notice that she snuggled instinctively into his side. Kim looked up at him then, and her lips smiled so invitingly, he just had to taste them once more. Both sighed in blissful unison as they gave themselves up to the moment.

"What was it you liked especially about the wedding, though?" Kimberly asked curiously as they wandered over to a nearby bench. "I thought you hated formal affairs."

"Normally I do," Tommy nodded, trying to appear nonchalant. His preoccupation had a very specific reason, and he didn't want to spoil this moment. Not after all the thought he'd given it. "But . it sorta gave me an idea," he hinted.

"What kind of an idea?" Kim queried, feeling her heartbeat pick up speed.

Drawing a deep, fortifying breath, Tommy took the plunge. He'd been thinking about this for days, and the longer he did that, the more certain he was that it was the right thing to do.

"That . that it might not be such a bad idea if we . if you and I . oh damn," he broke off helplessly, aware that he was bungling this rather badly. He shrugged deprecatingly and ran his hand under his ponytail - a gesture Kim knew too well meant embarrassment, or agitation.

"I'm going about this all wrong, and I so wanted it to be perfect," he murmured, reaching for Kim's hand and kissing the fingertips. He didn't notice that her hand was ice-cold all of a sudden.

"No, Tommy," she whispered, her body all of a sudden taut with tension. He took it for suspense and encouragement.

"But yes," he contradicted her lovingly. Cupping her face between both palms, he tilted it upwards. The large eyes were wide and luminous in the moonlight, and Tommy brushed a tender kiss against the quivering mouth.

"Watching Tanya and Adam exchange their vows was incredible," he told her. "But at one point I realized that I wasn't really seeing them, but us up at that altar. And I knew that that's what I want, now that I have you back," Tommy continued. "Kim . I love you. I don't want to lose you ever again. And there's really only just one way to make sure that doesn't happen."

With the grace of a natural athlete, he slid off the bench to kneel at Kim's feet. Drawing her hands towards him to kiss them again, he looked up into the eyes of the woman he wanted to pledge himself to.

"Beautiful, will you marry me?"

Kim was stunned into silence. She'd known and accepted Tommy's declaration of love, returned it wholeheartedly, but she had not counted on a marriage proposal. Her eyes filled with tears, and she smiled tremulously. Freeing her hands from his loving grasp, she traced the lean features with her fingertips as she strove to find her voice. When she could speak, her voice shook with suppressed emotion.

"Oh Tommy," she sighed. "I love you so much."

"Then say you'll be my wife," he urged gently.

Kim started to tremble. Two big teardrops spilled over and slid down her cheeks which had lost all color. When she finally gave Tommy her answer, it was in a barely audible whisper.

"No."

~~***~~



To Be Continued ...